Moving on in the journey from ttc

[Unexpected212]

So sorry for everything thats been happening Eyemom. Glad the bleeding has eased off and I hope you have no more scares.

Pregnancy and childbirth are scary and unpredictable but all we can do is enjoy each day we are pregnant and hope for the best. No amount of worrying will change anything. All we can do is hope. Easier said than done I know!

 

[brunettebimbo]

So I have my dating scan tomorrow and was planning to announce afterwards. I was wanting to add a little bit about my losses but not too much as my husband is quite personal. Does anyone have any ideas please?

Also my friend has just had stillborn twins at 29 weeks so I need to be delicate with wording etc. I was thinking of hiding the post from her but then I worried that she might be upset that I hid it from her. What do you think?

 

[MamaTex]

Hey eyemom, it has been an emotional few days huh? Sorry you have been hit with so much hard stuff. I totally understand seeking a second opinion about the bleeding. Yes, it can be normal, but the thought of "Well, what if it is not?" goes through your head. I am glad the bleeding has all but disappeared.

 

[MamaTex]

So I have my dating scan tomorrow and was planning to announce afterwards. I was wanting to add a little bit about my losses but not too much as my husband is quite personal. Does anyone have any ideas please?

Also my friend has just had stillborn twins at 29 weeks so I need to be delicate with wording etc. I was thinking of hiding the post from her but then I worried that she might be upset that I hid it from her. What do you think?

I would go to your friend before you announce and share the news with her before you make a public announcement. If I were her, I would feel bad about you not telling me what was going on in your life. You know your friend the best. If you don't think she is in a good place, I think it would be good to go to her first.

 

[brunettebimbo]

I decided to text her. I know it will hurt her but I think to see my public announcement first would hurt more.

 

[brunettebimbo]

Scan went perfect. Due date was moved forward to 15th January.

https://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh70/kjordanj/Snapbucket/9AAB4A55-81C5-4F63-91B4-4DF446B35E21_zpstgrkqya2.jpg

 

[Mariahs Mom]

Scan went perfect. Due date was moved forward to 15th January.

https://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh70/kjordanj/Snapbucket/9AAB4A55-81C5-4F63-91B4-4DF446B35E21_zpstgrkqya2.jpg

Beautiful picture

 

[Starry Night]

Congratulations, brunette! What a lovely scan!

 

[MamaTex]

So I am trying to stay positive but I feel the fear and worry creeping back in. I have just decided to go with the flow and allow myself to feel the way I feel, which is not all that great. I want to tell my family, but I don't want to go through the pain of having to come right back to tell them that the pregnancy is not viable if it doesn't end up working out. Being told, "It's going to be alright" doesn't help me because I know full well that it isn't always "alright." I didn't enjoy first trimester with this last pregnancy and I probably won't enjoy it this time around. I just feel like this pregnancy won't last. With my last one, even though I had way more anxiety, deep down inside I had a "feeling" that things were going to be ok. I don't feel the same way with this pregnancy. I am a little worried about my lines not getting darker by the time I tested on the day of my missed period. I haven't tested to see if the lines have gotten darker since. I figure that maybe the lines were so light because at that time, I was barely 4 weeks but with this last pregnancy, I had dark lines so I don't know. I just wish I could enjoy myself, but knowing I have no control at all over this drives me nuts.

 

[Left wonderin]

Oh mama I feel for you . I think once you have a loss/losses pregnancy is never the same again . Even if you have had a successful one since . I think it is because you know first hand that something can go wrong and it doesn't always work out . Having NO control is so so difficult , it is all so outside your control there is little you can do but wait ! Its really difficult but NOTHING you do including worrying will change the outcome . My doctor told me the other day (when we were discussing the fact I want to get pg again ) that if a baby is ment to be it will be that they are like parasites ! But if they are not your body and nature has a way of knowing .

Its hard to remain positive all the time so all you can do is take it one day at a time xxxxxxx

 

[MamaTex]

Just found out the OB I was supposed to see tomorrow does not take my insurance. I called another office and they told me they are not accepting the insurance I got through this exchange either, even though they are listed in the provider list. On my third try, I got an appointment with a doctor but it is not until the 21st, when I will be 8 weeks. I know that is probably the best time to go in because I will be able to see something, but I hate the thought of possibly miscarrying before my first appointment. I want to know my numbers for peace of mind.

 

[eyemom]

Mariahs Mom, sorry, I thought of you when I posted that. I couldn't remember if you were exactly 22 weeks, but I knew it was close. They want their space right now, but we sent a card and flowers, so I hope they'll be taken ok. I just hope I can handle things in the best way possible whenever we do meet up again. They're in DH's hometown about 2.5 hours away, and we're not able to visit much anymore, so I don't even know when it would be. Sigh.

MamaT, sorry the worry is creeping back in. It's basically unavoidable though I guess! So sad that loss kind of robs us of the innocence of pregnancy, so to speak. I resolved to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I could for however long I got to enjoy it - but it's one thing to decide to have that outlook, and another thing entirely to actually live it out! It's so hard, and maybe impossible...but do try to treasure these moments as much as possible. It's totally valid emotions to feel dread and fear, but if that's all you let yourself feel, it's kinda like robbing yourself of something special. Anyway, not trying to tell you how to feel, and it's important to be honest with yourself and how you're feeling. But if a little excitement tries to creep in, you don't necessarily have to squash it eh? Hope it's all smooth sailing for you. (Oh - and that is a bummer about the insurance. My Dr didn't actually want see me until I was 8 weeks, but I did go in sooner for betas. It shouldn't be as long of a wait for lab...can you call and see if you can talk to his nurse and see if they can at least order betas and maybe P? Then they'll have that info in advance of your appointment. Maybe it wouldn't influence your care but I TOTALLY get wanting to know for peace of mind.)

AFM, update on the bleeding. I ended up seeing my Dr this morning (Tuesday am, though I hadn't had much of anything since Fri morning and a teeeeeensy speck Saturday night.) They still thought it was PROBABLY fine, and I agreed it was PROBABLY fine. They agreed it'd be good to know for sure, so I was thankful for that.

Turns out I have a cervical ectropion which is okay when pregnant. But can case some discharge/bleeding. But no concern, whew! I'm just so happy to know where it's coming from! Also made sure my cervix is closed, and it is. I knew I'd be happy to have some reassurance, but after I left I was just feeling really GOOD! Like I can enjoy being pregnant again.

Today's the 2 year anniversary of our loss. Continued my weird tradition of making "birthday" cupcakes. Doing okay though. Cried once after I put out the cupcakes and DH gave me a big hug...hadn't cried about it in a while. The one I'm carrying doesn't really replace the one I lost, but it does help to have that hope this year. Still missing my angel baby, but really today I have felt really positive about things.

 

[MamaTex]

Mariahs Mom, sorry, I thought of you when I posted that. I couldn't remember if you were exactly 22 weeks, but I knew it was close. They want their space right now, but we sent a card and flowers, so I hope they'll be taken ok. I just hope I can handle things in the best way possible whenever we do meet up again. They're in DH's hometown about 2.5 hours away, and we're not able to visit much anymore, so I don't even know when it would be. Sigh.

MamaT, sorry the worry is creeping back in. It's basically unavoidable though I guess! So sad that loss kind of robs us of the innocence of pregnancy, so to speak. I resolved to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I could for however long I got to enjoy it - but it's one thing to decide to have that outlook, and another thing entirely to actually live it out! It's so hard, and maybe impossible...but do try to treasure these moments as much as possible. It's totally valid emotions to feel dread and fear, but if that's all you let yourself feel, it's kinda like robbing yourself of something special. Anyway, not trying to tell you how to feel, and it's important to be honest with yourself and how you're feeling. But if a little excitement tries to creep in, you don't necessarily have to squash it eh? Hope it's all smooth sailing for you. (Oh - and that is a bummer about the insurance. My Dr didn't actually want see me until I was 8 weeks, but I did go in sooner for betas. It shouldn't be as long of a wait for lab...can you call and see if you can talk to his nurse and see if they can at least order betas and maybe P? Then they'll have that info in advance of your appointment. Maybe it wouldn't influence your care but I TOTALLY get wanting to know for peace of mind.)

AFM, update on the bleeding. I ended up seeing my Dr this morning (Tuesday am, though I hadn't had much of anything since Fri morning and a teeeeeensy speck Saturday night.) They still thought it was PROBABLY fine, and I agreed it was PROBABLY fine. They agreed it'd be good to know for sure, so I was thankful for that.

Turns out I have a cervical ectropion which is okay when pregnant. But can case some discharge/bleeding. But no concern, whew! I'm just so happy to know where it's coming from! Also made sure my cervix is closed, and it is. I knew I'd be happy to have some reassurance, but after I left I was just feeling really GOOD! Like I can enjoy being pregnant again.

Today's the 2 year anniversary of our loss. Continued my weird tradition of making "birthday" cupcakes. Doing okay though. Cried once after I put out the cupcakes and DH gave me a big hug...hadn't cried about it in a while. The one I'm carrying doesn't really replace the one I lost, but it does help to have that hope this year. Still missing my angel baby, but really today I have felt really positive about things.

Wow, that is crazy about the bleeding. You just never know where it is going to come from.


For what was a rough day

Glad things are looking good for you overall!!

 

[Mariahs Mom]

Eyemom- Yes I was exactly 22wks when I lost my little girl so I know exactly how they feel. It will just take some time. I know DH & I were literally numb for at least a month afterwards. Till this day I couldn't even tell you what took place in my life from September 8-October 9th...Sad...

On a lighter note, I'm glad you have some answers!!! It's always reassuring to have answers so we won't drive ourselves crazy. Especially since Vday has not hit yet, I know you want to be extra cautious!

That's so beautiful that you make cupcakes on the anniversary of your loss. We were looking for ideas and I might discuss doing something similar with DH.

Mama- Glad you were able to get an appt, FINALLY ha but I know exactly how u feel abt a peace of mind. As you know, we are always going to be sooooooo scared throughout all of our pregnancies. I wish we were all women who don't have any complications and NO LOSSES!! I'm 30wks tomorrow and I'm still nervous everyday lol...I remember it just like yesterday when I found out I was pregnant again. I didn't want to tell anyone. Some friends and family didn't even know until I was 20wks and I didn't make an announcement (social media) until I was 28wks lol...

Just hang in there Hun!

Starry- OMG I just realized that Hannah is already a month old?!?! How is she? Time flys!

 

[eyemom]

...until I was 20months...

dang!

 

[Starry Night]

Mama - that sucks about the insurance. Your GP wouldn't be able to order up beta tests for you? I'm not sure how it works in the States. Up here we don't see our OBs until 10 to 12 weeks at the earliest (some don't switch over until 6 or 7 months) so if there are any problems before that we go to our GPs. It was my GP who ordered the early scan when I was pregnant with Hannah.

eyemom - that's such a relief in regards to the bleeding. It would be nicer if you didn't have any bleeding at all, but at least it's not something harmful to the pregnancy. I'm sorry today was hard and I think it's sweet you took time to remember your angel. I had a little cry for my angels just a day or so ago after a friend was taking about someone else's miscarriage. Sometimes the pain comes back and that's OK.

afm - yeah, Hannah is a month now. I find that pretty insane. She's most likely my last baby and it's all going by so fast! Sometimes I wish the first 3 months would hurry by as they're the hardst in regards to crying and lack of sleep. But then I see her little bug-eyes and squishy newborn face and I just want to cherish it and hold back the hands of time.

 

[brunettebimbo]

That's a long ass pregnancy!

MamaTex I feel you on the worry and anxiety. If you scroll back you'll see I had a freak out at around 5 weeks. Being pregnant after loss is so scary. Sending you

Eye I'm so glad you know what the bleeding is and it's nothing to worry about

MM happy 30 weeks

 

[Unexpected212]

Eyemom - So glad you have found out where the bleeding is coming from so you can have some kind of peace and relax a little better knowing it's all ok. So sorry about your friends. I think sending card and flowers was lovely and a really nice gesture in their time of grief.

*hugs* on the two year anniversary of your loss. We will never forget our little beans and like you say, as happy as I am to be pregnant now this baby never replaces that one.

Mama Tex - I am a worrier by nature and worried when I was pregnant with my son but after my loss and finding out I was pregnant this time I was a wreck! Had a lot of early scan I paid for private and to be honest the really early ones just worried me more if baby wasn't measuring spot on. 8 weeks seems like a good time because if you see baby with heartbeat then it's like 99% chance of all carrying on well. I can understand wanting betas though to at least know it's viable and somethings going on in there. I stopped testing because my lines didn't seem to be getting much darker and i got a negative on a digital. Obviously all turned out ok though so it's not always a bad sign. My HCG has always been a slow starter.

Thinking of you. I won't say 'it'll all be ok' as there are no guarantees about anything in life but I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for you and I personally think your little bean WILL be ok.

Mariahs Mom *hugs* I've always thought how strong a lady you are to have got through what you have and to be such a positive and kind person.

Also happy 30 weeks!!! Must be such a relief to know that if baby came all would most likely be fine. i know I count each week as another week baby is getting strong and ready

Starry - Aw where has that month gone?! I know what you mean about the newborn stage being hard but your trying to treasure it at the same time lol.

This will most likely be our last too and it's a strange feeling but in a way i'm glad I won't be pregnant again because I'm not good with the anxiety!

Also as for me I'm feeling ok. Been trying to take a different type of Iron pill but I was up all night being sick on it so I'm going to try and see if I can find a natural supplement. There was one the nurse recommended that I'm going to look into.

Other than that I'm feeling good. Going away with husband tommorow and friday for our first anniversary. Will miss the little man a lot but it will be lovely to spend some time as a couple before the baby gets here.

 

[brunettebimbo]

Hope you have a lovely time Happy Anniversary!

I've just booked myself a Doctors appointment for today. I've been having specks of blood in my sick for while which the midwife said was normal but now it's more like a teaspoon of blood.

 

[Sweetz33]

I accepted the invite but not sure if I'm in the group. FB confuses me sometimes.

Eye yikes sorry for the scare...def not cool.

No baby yet over here. Docs say if I don't pop by Monday, they are scheduling an induction. I'm friggin huge and people are questioning if there is really only one baby in there. I reassure them , yes, only one. I know this might sound odd, but is it wrong for me to wish I wasn't pregnant anymore? I'm just so worn out at this point....