**New & Crazy** friendly group thread ((5 BFPs))

[tl682]

Liz, I will try my best to relax!! I just want to shake him and be like, why are you doing this??

The thing that I dont understand about the timing thing boy or girl is that, if I want to have a girl, I would dtd 4 or 5 days before and stop?? Not do it anymore?? Alternatively, if I want a boy, I would dtd only the day of ovulation and try not to do it before that day??

 

[Heather9603]

Liz, I will try my best to relax!! I just want to shake him and be like, why are you doing this??

The thing that I dont understand about the timing thing boy or girl is that, if I want to have a girl, I would dtd 4 or 5 days before and stop?? Not do it anymore?? Alternatively, if I want a boy, I would dtd only the day of ovulation and try not to do it before that day??

Well the bigger thing is if you want a boy, only DTD on the day of ovulation and not before. Doing it before gets some girl sperm up there and they end up with first dibs lol.

 

[Heather9603]

Ugh the heartburn AGAIN tonight. This better be a good sign lol.

 

[tl682]

Ugh the heartburn AGAIN tonight. This better be a good sign lol.

Hoping it is!!

 

[elliot]

TL - Sorry to hear you are having troubles with your DH too. It sounds like we're in the same boat with our DH's suddenly acting very out of character, and here we are - pregnant and more sensitive than ever, just wanting them to be our steady support systems. My DH did leave me a very brief voicemail yesterday, so I know he's alive and well at this point. That hasn't made me feel much better I'm afraid, as now it's clear he just doesn't care to check up on me and LO. I'm taking is especially hard because I feel like he knows how much I've needed his support while PG, an it's just a real jerk move to just blow me off all of a sudden. Makes me feel he doesn't give a crap about me, TBH, which is scary and shocking 'cause we have been so close and good for so long. And now when I need him most it feels he's pulling away.

Sorry your OH is being so funny about the baby's arrival. I'd be livid too if I were you. Family issues or no, when your baby is being born, if you're lucky enough to be around and invited, then you damn well get your fanny there and wait it out and feed mum ice chips and do whatever you can to be part of the birth. The family's sickness or needs will still be there waiting for him when the LO arrives, but that baby is only going to be born once. And I agree with you that 2 -3 days is not enough. I work with a man who took 2 -3 days after his first child was born and now, 2 years later, he still says he wishes he'd taken at least a week. His wife had a C-section and he knows she really could have used his help with everything.

I hope your DH comes around soon. Mine will be home in 4 days, and at this point I'm not sure WTH to expect. He feels so unpredictable lately... last thing I expected at our age and after being together for so long.

Big hugs to you TL. Wish there was more I could do.

 

[liz_legend]

Liz, I will try my best to relax!! I just want to shake him and be like, why are you doing this??

The thing that I dont understand about the timing thing boy or girl is that, if I want to have a girl, I would dtd 4 or 5 days before and stop?? Not do it anymore?? Alternatively, if I want a boy, I would dtd only the day of ovulation and try not to do it before that day??

Yes for the girl
But for the boy, I would do it the TWO days PRIOR to ovulation & ovulation day.

 

[liz_legend]

Okay, I totally missed the post where Elliot 1st said her DH is being a Dbag lately... I have to go back and look through old messages!!!

 

[liz_legend]

So Elliot, today's the 5th day of no contact with DH?

Where in Europe is he??
Is it a business or personal trip?

Do you know who he's with?

Have you contacted his parents to find out if they've heard from him??

 

[elliot]

So Elliot, today's the 5th day of no contact with DH? Like I said to TL above, yesterday I did finally get a brief voicemail from him, so I know he's alive.

Where in Europe is he?? I think Florence by now. Paris before.
Is it a business or personal trip? It's that trip I told you guys about a week or two ago. The one where he gets to go for free 'cause he's chaperoning a group of high school kids.

Do you know who he's with? The high school tour group. I could hear them all in the background of his voicemail.

Have you contacted his parents to find out if they've heard from him?? I emailed his mum when I hadn't heard anything yesterday morning. She hadn't heard anything either, and both my mum and his are really surprised he hasn't wanted to check in at home.

Answers in blue above.

 

[liz_legend]

well, at least his mom will probably say something to him!

take a breath and pamper yourself tomorrow or saturday before he returns.... you want to be in a good mood before he comes home and not just brooding in your anger all weekend.

hopefully he's smart and picked up something cute for you and the baby along his travels!

------
side note: I just finalized our BabiesRUs & Target registry!
wooohooo!
so done with reading reviews on EVERYTHING!

 

[Heather9603]

Is it bad that since I want so many of our big items unisex (Crib, stroller, car seat, high chair, etc) That I'm already wanting to start a registry???? lol.

 

[sherylb]

I started our registry months before I got pregnant but I did it as a private wish list so that nobody would find it.

 

[Heather9603]

I started our registry months before I got pregnant but I did it as a private wish list so that nobody would find it.

Haha good idea. I also have to sift through things that you can buy in store because we can't use his discount online.

 

[tl682]

Elliot, honey, I'm happy that at least he called after all this time. Did he say when he's planning to contact you again?? What are you planning to say to him when he gets home?? Maybe write him a letter while he's away, so that he can read it when he gets home and understand how you felt each day?? I feel like you and I have similar relationships, where our DH's have always been so sensitive and caring, and everything has been wonderful, and then poof they are now men we dont recognize. It's strange, and I'm not sure where it's all coming from. Everytime I talk to him about this, he just turns everything around and makes me look like some villain.

 

[elliot]

Elliot, honey, I'm happy that at least he called after all this time. Did he say when he's planning to contact you again?? What are you planning to say to him when he gets home?? Maybe write him a letter while he's away, so that he can read it when he gets home and understand how you felt each day?? I feel like you and I have similar relationships, where our DH's have always been so sensitive and caring, and everything has been wonderful, and then poof they are now men we dont recognize. It's strange, and I'm not sure where it's all coming from. Everytime I talk to him about this, he just turns everything around and makes me look like some villain.

I think you're right that we're kind of in the same boat, TL. And we're both in our 30s, thought we had good mature DHs, and tried to get PG for so long, and now somehow the men are on the fritz. We both wanted this LO so much, WTF happened somewhere along the way that having a family suddenly stopped being the most important thing in the world for him? He didn't say when he would contact me again. I honestly don't think I'll hear from him till he's bored on the flight home or at a layover on his way home. I spent a lot of time really thinking about my wording and wrote him an email that he should get on layover letting him know how I feel... not how I'm so angry I could kill him, not how I would have liked to have told him to go to Hell when I got his voicemil yesterday, but how I'm so surprised and confused and hurt by his behavior. Don't know if it will make any difference, but it felt good to get it off my back. I'm scared now that he's not going to be the wonderful Dad I'd felt so sure he would be for this LO... like he's just going to be cold and distant from both of us. This is so not the man I've been in love with for years.

Take care of you and your little one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that your OH snaps out of it and gets back to his normal self really soon.

 

[tl682]

Elliot, honey, I'm happy that at least he called after all this time. Did he say when he's planning to contact you again?? What are you planning to say to him when he gets home?? Maybe write him a letter while he's away, so that he can read it when he gets home and understand how you felt each day?? I feel like you and I have similar relationships, where our DH's have always been so sensitive and caring, and everything has been wonderful, and then poof they are now men we dont recognize. It's strange, and I'm not sure where it's all coming from. Everytime I talk to him about this, he just turns everything around and makes me look like some villain.

I think you're right that we're kind of in the same boat, TL. And we're both in our 30s, thought we had good mature DHs, and tried to get PG for so long, and now somehow the men are on the fritz. We both wanted this LO so much, WTF happened somewhere along the way that having a family suddenly stopped being the most important thing in the world for him? He didn't say when he would contact me again. I honestly don't think I'll hear from him till he's bored on the flight home or at a layover on his way home. I spent a lot of time really thinking about my wording and wrote him an email that he should get on layover letting him know how I feel... not how I'm so angry I could kill him, not how I would have liked to have told him to go to Hell when I got his voicemil yesterday, but how I'm so surprised and confused and hurt by his behavior. Don't know if it will make any difference, but it felt good to get it off my back. I'm scared now that he's not going to be the wonderful Dad I'd felt so sure he would be for this LO... like he's just going to be cold and distant from both of us. This is so not the man I've been in love with for years.

Take care of you and your little one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that your OH snaps out of it and gets back to his normal self really soon.

Elliot, I feel the SAME way!! Like, who is this man that I'm married to?? I looked at our wedding pictures yesterday and thought, this is not the man in those pictures... I agree, this is not the man that I have been in love with for so long, and I expect more from him than I'm getting these days (since I have always gotten so much more care in the past). I think it's good that you wrote him an email. I wonder what he will say about it. Hang in there, honey. I think that future behavior is predicted by a PATTERN of past behavior. Maybe there's some explanation for why he didn't call (although, I can't think of any). Try to think about the love and care he's given you in the past and not just this week. I think that's the only way to not hate him atm...

 

[elliot]

[...] Try to think about the love and care he's given you in the past and not just this week. I think that's the only way to not hate him atm...

You're right about this. It is the only thing that keeps me from hating him. But it sure as heck does make me cry like a baby. Is that how you're surviving the storm too? Thinking of the good stuff that used to be the normal stuff of every day?

 

[tl682]

Yes, I'm definitely trying to think about all the good things from the past!! Sometimes it makes me feel better, and other times it makes me madder, but I think that overall it makes me feel better... Hang in there, honey. Wait until he gets back and see what he has to say. Let me know. Hugs.

 

[Heather9603]

I think the best thing is just to talk to them about how you are feeling. I mean obviously its not just raging hormones making you mad, because I am NOT pregnant and saying that I would be upset about what TL and Eliots hubbies are doing. Sometimes guys just dont realize they are being jack arses til someone points it out.


So I am doing a target registry, and trying to get DH's input. He thinks I'm nuts lol. But its not for not being pregnant, its because I should KNOW that Target items change all the time so who knows if what I want will be available by the time a baby comes But it at least gives me an idea and I can start saving SOME items.

 

[sherylb]

Have you looked at amazon.com for registries? Target has most of their stuff online and anything not online can be added with the universal wish list button.

Blonde's Registry on Amazon

Then people also aren't forced to buy from Babies-R-Us or Target if they can find a better deal. I am all for people being able to get the best deal possible in this economy.