**New & Crazy** friendly group thread ((5 BFPs))

[elliot]

I have some ranting to do since I cant share this with anyone apart from DH. Ever since I have started TTC I keep on getting a horrible dream, a nightmare in fact. And I invariably get it during the luteal phase period. I dream that I am getting AF but its such a horrible image-a pool of blood is what I see And needless to say I wake up immediately and pass the rest of the day all grumpy. Lat night I slept with prayers that God please dont give me nightmares but I ended up with one I saw I am pregnant(pretty early stage) crampy...in order to confirm I took a test and all I saw was blood-it ended in an MC I dont know how do I get over this. I sleep with prayers in my lips but its not helping me so far. I am sorry for all these ramblings but I am so disturbed. I just feel the month when I dont get this nightmare will be the month when I fall preggers. I am sorry once again.

I'm sorry about the nightmare you've been having Anne, and I can definitely sympathize. I'm a bit of a worrier, and I've always had nightmares my whole life. While TTC I often had them about my worst fears... DH deciding he didn't love me anymore or being terrible to me or leaving me. I've always had dreams like that even though he's a really great guy and our relationship is very solid, so I chalk it up to the fact that as a kid of divorce one of my deepest fears is that my own relationship will fail. And I've also learned that there's nothing I can do to control when I have those dreams... they come up whenever my deep-seated subconscious fear stirs up.

Sorry for the big ramble about me... all I really meant to say is that I hear you. And I understand how much it sucks. And I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than realize that our sleeping minds tap into all kinds of strange, irrational, and sometimes really wacko ideas and feelings, and try to remind yourself when you wake that it's just a dream and to spend your day cultivating positive feelings about how are ready to lovingly receive your little one just as soon as your little one is ready to come to you.

I know it's super hard, but try not to give the nightmares even more power by spending waking time and energy on them.

Wishing you only good dreams and deep, restful sleep. And keeping fingers crossed that when you least expect it that BFP will pop up!

 

[Anne24]

Anne, honey, hang in there. I also have bad dreams about things like that. But, they are more like I have a bump, but there's nothing inside... It's just because you are thinking about this so much, and because you want it so badly. Dreams are our subconscious. You must be worrrying that something else is wrong with not yet getting pregnant, and that's translating into the MC in the dream... Just try your hardest to relax. Have some warm milk before you go to sleep. That may help with the sleeping. You should also make sure that it's not hot in your room while you are sleeping, because that causes people to have more vivid dreams. I just know these things because I took a sleep class when I was in college
Liz, I will try to do my siggy over...

TL

Thank you soooooooooo much hun I just need a little bit of TLC which I get from you ladies.
You are right TL, in my its my subconscious I feel some thing is wrong with me that I am not yet getting preggers. And yeah felt pretty hot last night. Will try the warm milk therapy for sure. Thank you so much.

Yayyyyyyyyyyy I now have a FF ticker. Though I started temping only from 1st Jan, I am probably 5dpo today. So my chart might look a bit incomplete.

Liz
You made a nerd out of me...I have a ticker with my siggy OMG
I am not that stupid after all

 

[elliot]

I agree with TL about keeping your room cool at night. I find I sleep much better when my bedroom is a cool 66 degrees. I've been having restless sleep a lot lately so I'm dropping it to 65 tonight. Hubby is going to freeze a normal comforter is fine for me when it's 65/65.

Me too, except I like mine a cool 60 degrees!

Stinks lately though when I have to climb out to pee in the middle of the night, EVERY NIGHT, and run freezing to the bathroom in naught but my skin!

Night peeing... That's one of my biggest PG symptoms ATM! Last night DH had left the bathroom door closed and when I shuffled over in the dark I ran smack into it!

 

[elliot]

Yay! Anne has a ticker in her siggy!

 

[liz_legend]

Liz
You made a nerd out of me...I have a siggy OMG
I am not that stupid after all

Yay!!!!

Don't worry about your chart looking incomplete for now! Mine did too when I first started temping (if you scroll down on my FF page). But it's so awesome to have!

When I went to my doc yesterday, I printed my last cycle since we were talking about Due Dates etc and she asked if she could keep my printout in my file . I was so proud of temping & charting when she asked me that

 

[liz_legend]

Me too, except I like mine a cool 60 degrees!

Night peeing... That's one of my biggest PG symptoms ATM! Last night DH had left the bathroom door closed and when I shuffled over in the dark I ran smack into it!

60 degrees?!?!?!
my DH would kill me if I did that to him!! hahaha

So when did your nite pees start? I haven't had to yet..

 

[elliot]

So when did your nite pees start? I haven't had to yet..

It was on and off since about week 8 or so, but has been every night for the past two weeks. Even if I make sure I don't drink anything for an hour or so before bed. Even if I make sure to get up and pee again right before I turn off the light and go to sleep.

I read somewhere that you can manage this by "double eliminating." Yeah... good luck with that! You're supposed to pee, then pee again immeidately afterwards. I can't make anythign hapepn the second time and I always end up doing the nighttime shuffle to the loo!

 

[Anne24]

Elliot

Thank you so much I am so so touched by your kind words
I am sorry about your insecurities and pray that you and your DH live, love and laugh till the longest time possible.

I know about insecurities too. Have been a victim for long. Lost an elder brother due to an unnatural death when I was nine. Since then I have been the only child of my parents. Since then also got paranoia...have this feeling that I will loose my dear ones. If DH is even 5 minutes late home, I start fretting like crazy. Thank God he understands its my fear and got nothing to do with being a suspicious wife for being late that I make frequent inquiries for his whereabouts. Cant thank God enough for sending me with an understanding partner, really cant.

OMG you ladies have become my confidantes. Dont think I have opened up so much even to my friends in person. Thank you so much Elliot and to all of you.

 

[liz_legend]

So when did your nite pees start? I haven't had to yet..

It was on and off since about week 8 or so, but has been every night for the past two weeks. Even if I make sure I don't drink anything for an hour or so before bed. Even if I make sure to get up and pee again right before I turn off the light and go to sleep.

I read somewhere that you can manage this by "double eliminating." Yeah... good luck with that! You're supposed to pee, then pee again immeidately afterwards. I can't make anythign hapepn the second time and I always end up doing the nighttime shuffle to the loo!

I read about this!!!
Apparently you have to lean forward or something!!!!

hahaha, what a sight we women must be behind closed doors!

 

[elliot]

Elliot
Thank you so much I am so so touched by your kind words
I am sorry about your insecurities and pray that you and your DH live, love and laugh till the longest time possible.

Thank you Anne, and I wish you all the same... all the happiness and joy that life can offer.

So sorry to hear about your brother. What a difficult experience for you and your parents. It makes me think about what my mum always tells me: that if we threw our troubles in a pile with everybody else's and saw the tragedies some folks deal with we'd probably snatch our own troubles back pretty quick! Compared to what your family dealt with I can't complain a lick! I guess I'll just keep my foolish nightmares and count my lucky stars.

 

[elliot]

hahaha, what a sight we women must be behind closed doors!

I know, right! I've also started doing my, ahem... "internal exercises" when I'm in the bathroom. I've heard you should start early and often to help with labor and recovery afterwards, so I try to remember to do 20 each time I go. SO GLAD nobody knows what I'm doing in there!

 

[tl682]

I love this forum. Elliot -- I have always been the same way. I have those same dreams about DH leaving, even though I know he would never do that. My parents are still married to each other, but their marriage is NOT one to be envied, so when I found the perfect man for me, the thought of losing him is unbearable. Anne, I'm the same way when he's late coming home. I call him or text him as soon as that happens, because I feel like somebody has kidnapped him or mugged him, or he was hit by a car. I know it's crazy, but the thought of not having him anymore is totally overwhelming. I dont know what I would do without him. At the moment, we're dealing with some family issues on his side -- His mom has cancer, and his father is so depressed over it that he has attempted suicide 2 times in the last month (he's 70 and has NO history of mental illness). I know it sounds very dramatic, but this is what's been happening. I think it's also contributed to our inablility to conceive. I'm so scared that he will fall apart from suddenly having two sick parents to care for, and I have bad dreams about that all the time... So, that's where we stand. Sorry for the rant, but I think I just needed to get that out, since we're all getting so personal

 

[shelly793]

Hi Ladies

Elliot - I have seen some women with early bumps too, but most of them had twins How cool would that be???? Wanted one and get two I'm so excited for you, GL at your appt tomorrow! Can't wait to see the sono pics, you are gonna post them right?!?!??

Anne - I have had similar dreams so I know how disturbing they can be I hope you get some restful sleep soon As for the thermometer, I have a BBT one and I do find it a little too accurate (if there is such a thing). So I'm sure a reg one will do just fine. I have been temping for a few months and I thought it was gonna be a pain in the butt (and it was at first) but the more I did it the more fun I was having in watching how my body was working....... I just realized how dorky that made me sound. LOL

Heather - Family issues suck Especially when you want so bad to help and your limited in what you can do. Your DH sounds like a good guy, I know alot of men who could care less about their family. And who knows, I've heard ALOT of women who get their BFP when they "stop trying" Good luck hun!

 

[elliot]

I love this forum.
At the moment, we're dealing with some family issues on his side -- His mom has cancer, and his father is so depressed over it that he has attempted suicide 2 times in the last month (he's 70 and has NO history of mental illness). I know it sounds very dramatic, but this is what's been happening. I think it's also contributed to our inablility to conceive. I'm so scared that he will fall apart from suddenly having two sick parents to care for, and I have bad dreams about that all the time... So, that's where we stand. Sorry for the rant, but I think I just needed to get that out, since we're all getting so personal

I love this group too, TL... such a nice, safe place to celebrate together, laugh together and sometimes commiserate.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's mom having cancer. Is she going through treatment? My MIL is a breast cancer survivor, so I know how hard that can be on a family. Sorry to hear your FIL is taking the diagnosis so hard, can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with him feeling suicidal when you're already dealing with your MIL's illness. And all that stress definitely affects TTC.

Hoping your MIL beats her cancer and you can all get back to normal. My MIL beat hers 9 years ago, and then a year ago was diagnosed with Parkinsons. The Parkinsons is so scary for my DH because there's just not much proven effective and it can be debilitating so fast. My MIL is a trooper though! She's got herself working with great doctors out of state and goes for treatments that are still in testing to get all the possible help she can. So far she's doing well and the disease is progressing much more slowly than we expected so we all feel great about that. Hope things work out as well as possible for your family too.

Oh, and BTW TL... I LOVE your new siggy! Cracks me up to no end!

 

[elliot]

Elliot - I have seen some women with early bumps too, but most of them had twins How cool would that be???? Wanted one and get two I'm so excited for you, GL at your appt tomorrow! Can't wait to see the sono pics, you are gonna post them right?!?!??

Oh CLW! DH thinks it would be just swell if we had twins! He's been wishing for it all along! In fact, two years ago when we weren't even TTC yet but were already getting excited about it we got some baby chicks and when they grew up the first egg they laid was a double-yolker and he said "It's an omen! We're gonna have twins!"

But I'd really rather start with just one and get the swing of things! We both started wondering when my bump showed up so soon though... we'll know tomorrow! I'll try to remember to scan the sono pic and bring it in, but I've been a hairbrain lately, so bear with me if I need a little nagging

 

[shelly793]

I think I fell 2 pages of posts behind while I was typing my first response LOL. I type so slow!!! Now that I have caught up (for now) I think we all are more alike than I thought! I mean I always knew you gals were awesome! I have the same fears and as my DH would say OCD/panic attacks about loss and dying. I lost both of my grandparents (I lived and grew up with them so they were like my parents) My Gma in 01 and my Gdad in 02, then my Dad passed in 07 he was only 50, and then the MC last year! I wake up crying and shaking alot b/c of the nightmares and I also freak out if my DH is late comming home. You know, I have always heard and had people say "what dosen't kill you, only makes you stronger" so I say if thats true I must be the Incredible Hulk. Sorry for my ramble, but I think If I keep talking to you gals I may not need to see a therapist anymore, hahahah You are all truley an amazing support system!!!!

 

[elliot]

I think I fell 2 pages of posts behind while I was typing my first response LOL. I type so slow!!! Now that I have caught up (for now) I think we all are more alike than I thought! I mean I always knew you gals were awesome! I have the same fears and as my DH would say OCD/panic attacks about loss and dying. I lost both of my grandparents (I lived and grew up with them so they were like my parents) My Gma in 01 and my Gdad in 02, then my Dad passed in 07 he was only 50, and then the MC last year! I wake up crying and shaking alot b/c of the nightmares and I also freak out if my DH is late comming home. You know, I have always heard and had people say "what dosen't kill you, only makes you stronger" so My DH says if thats true I must be the Incredible Hulk. Sorry for my ramble, but I think If I keep talking to you gals I may not need to see a therapist anymore, hahahah You are all truley an amazing support system!!!!

Sorry to hear about all the losses you've had in such a short time, CLW.

It's pretty rough waking up in the night from one of those nightmares cause they just feel SO REAL! It's wonderful to have a supportive DH though. We have a system where I just nudge him awake and tell him I've had a "bad dream" and he knows what that means and cuddles me up real good or pats my head. It helps me go back to sleep so much faster.

And yay for BNB-pals replacing therapists! BNB is so much cheaper!

 

[tl682]

I love this forum.
At the moment, we're dealing with some family issues on his side -- His mom has cancer, and his father is so depressed over it that he has attempted suicide 2 times in the last month (he's 70 and has NO history of mental illness). I know it sounds very dramatic, but this is what's been happening. I think it's also contributed to our inablility to conceive. I'm so scared that he will fall apart from suddenly having two sick parents to care for, and I have bad dreams about that all the time... So, that's where we stand. Sorry for the rant, but I think I just needed to get that out, since we're all getting so personal

I love this group too, TL... such a nice, safe place to celebrate together, laugh together and sometimes commiserate.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's mom having cancer. Is she going through treatment? My MIL is a breast cancer survivor, so I know how hard that can be on a family. Sorry to hear your FIL is taking the diagnosis so hard, can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with him feeling suicidal when you're already dealing with your MIL's illness. And all that stress definitely affects TTC.

Hoping your MIL beats her cancer and you can all get back to normal. My MIL beat hers 9 years ago, and then a year ago was diagnosed with Parkinsons. The Parkinsons is so scary for my DH because there's just not much proven effective and it can be debilitating so fast. My MIL is a trooper though! She's got herself working with great doctors out of state and goes for treatments that are still in testing to get all the possible help she can. So far she's doing well and the disease is progressing much more slowly than we expected so we all feel great about that. Hope things work out as well as possible for your family too.

Oh, and BTW TL... I LOVE your new siggy! Cracks me up to no end!

I know, my siggy rocks
Thank you for the well wishes. My MIL has a bad brain tumor and is doing both radiation and chemo, but it's not working out too well... She's totally lost her memory, so talking to her is like talking to somebody with dementia. Can't remember what she had for dinner, or even what she said 5 minutes ago. We live in New York, and my in laws live in New Jersey, but we're out there every weekend caring for them. My MIL was diagnosed one week after we got back from our honeymoon, so our newlywed life hasn't been what I thought it would be... My MIL is hard, and my FIL is even harder these days... I'm constantly doing damage control with DH when he gets upset about everything. I feel so badly for him.
So sorry to hear about your MIL, too. Family stress is the worst. I'm happy to hear though that her Parkinsons is progressing slowly. That's very scary. Your MIL sounds like a fighter, though -- Beating breast cancer and now dealing with this. She must be one strong woman. How is DH holding up??

 

[shelly793]

hahaha, what a sight we women must be behind closed doors!

I know, right! I've also started doing my, ahem... "internal exercises" when I'm in the bathroom. I've heard you should start early and often to help with labor and recovery afterwards, so I try to remember to do 20 each time I go. SO GLAD nobody knows what I'm doing in there!

Those "internal exercises" wil def come in handy!!!! I wish someone would have told me about that when I had my daughter 12yrs ago, b/c now after child birth every time I laugh or cough i pee myself a little if I don't cross my leggs I can't believe I just admited that out loud

 

[tl682]

CLW, so sorry for all of those things that happened in your life. It's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm sure that you are and will be an amazing mom with all that you have been through.

I LOVE YOU LADIES!!