****November 2013 Rainbow Babies****

[Storked]

My boobs are achey today. I love it though- I find it very reassuring

 

[larvalstalker]

My boobs are not hurting today... I should be relieved because they felt like bruises and sunburns... but I worry so much about symptoms disappearing because I don't want to lose this baby too. Are disappearing symptoms normal?

 

[Storked]

larval, mine weren't too sore yesterday and it worried me. I think sometimes symptoms come and go (and then come back again)

 

[AngelSerenity]

Yes, apparently symptoms coming and going is completely normal everybody.

It may be normal for our bodies, but in my opinion it's not good for our minds!


I'm tired, boobs tender and nauseous today . It makes me feel good to feel bad


It's only just after 8pm here and I'm going to bed, I've a job selection assessment tomorrow and I'm panicking about how I'm going to get through it if I feel like this.

x

 

[Storked]

Haha good luck tomorrow AngelS!

 

[ginny83]

Angel - lovely way to tell DH and good luck with the job


I am feeling horrible! I spewed twice yesterday - just little ones though, but I know this is how it starts :S This morning I have been dry retching - I'm very worried about how I'm going to cope with all my pills! I HAVE to take my BP meds otherwise they can have the opposite effect if you miss them.

Sorry for the rant, just feeling a bit sorry for myself. This will be my 4th bout of morning sickness! Praying it's worth it this time!

 

[AwesomeSauce]

Can I join you ladies? I need to talk to people who have an idea of what I am going through. I have three beautiful children, and have been trying for number 4 since Aug of 2010. It took me a long time to get a bfp march 2012. That ended in may at almost 11 weeks. Just a month and a half later I was pg again. I carried my sweet Sam for nearly 17 weeks when we found his heart had stopped. That was in October last year. I tried to deliver him at home, but I hemmorhaged out in my tub. An ambulance ride and d&c later I was anemic and in desperate need for another chance. Last week I discovered that I am indeed pregnant again. Due nov 18. I am trying to rely on positive affirmations, but honestly I am struggling. How do you manage a positive hopeful attitude? Do you feel like you might actually have a baby at the end of all of this?

 

[steph.]

Welcome awsomesauce and congratulations on your bfp! I am so sorry for your losses. It must be so heartbreaking to lose a baby that far along. I have only had 1 loss at 8 weeks and that was hard enough. To answer your question my positiveness varies- sometimes i am sure i am going to mc again and that this pregnancy wont lead to a baby, and other times i think maybe it just might. It is hard but i am just taking each day as it comes, and glad everytime i wipe there is no blood.

 

[ginny83]

Hi AwesomeSauce - I've had losses with very similar timings to yours. I got my first BFP after having my son in Feb 2012, ended up being a MMC where the baby died at 11+5, I had a D&C at the very start of May when I was about 13 weeks along.

Then I got another BFP in July which resulted in another MMC, the baby was around 15+4 and ended up having him when I was almost 17 weeks in October. I opted for a D&E, but I ended up not needing the surgery as I delivered him just after they put me to sleep. I found it quite horrific as the pain was basically the same as the labour with my son.

I'm not due around 17th November. I'm trying to stay positive as I'm on a few meds that I was never on with any of the other losses (or my son), so hoping that this will do the trick!

Praying for sticky babies for all of us xx

 

[Angeltk42]

Hi awesomesauce welcome... I only have the one loss at 5wks 4 days but every day I look for blood when I go to the bathroom and feel grateful when there isn't any every time... I sometimes wonder when I will feel like this is real and ill get my sticky baby... Somehow I think I won't be satisfied till my little one is in my arms in October/November... Just pray every day that I don't go crazy from the anticipation! I'm so sorry for your losses! but congrats on ur bfp!!!

I have first doc tomorrow but it's just with nurse no doc that's not until 4/1.... Hoping to get a little reassurance that everything is going as planned. But of course today I feel like I pulled a muscle in my far right abdomen... Doesn't feel uterus related but who knows it hurts when I walk. Anyone ever have that kind of feeling?

 

[AngelSerenity]

Welcome Awesome, congrats on the BFP but at the same time condolences for your losses. I've had 6 MCs, most of them at 10-12 weeks.

Have you managed to get any testing done at all, was anything discovered and/or are you on a care plan for this latest BFP?

It's so difficult to keep positive but I find threads like this help. Toilet trips or feeling excess fluid down there are heart stopping moments. I guess we all just keep plodding on, good or freaking out mood as we all have that pull to wanting our rainbows.


I'm not complaining, only observing ladies, I feel quite rough today again, tired and nauseous . Although Ginny I havent been sick yet, I have only ever been sick once or twice in all my pregnancies.

I dont know how I'm going to get through a 4 hour assessment today, let alone impress to get shortlisted for a final interview .


Catch you all later xo

 

[ginny83]

Good luck Angel - the nausea is the worst part, sometimes I actually feel relieved after being sick!

 

[AwesomeSauce]

My latest loss was a rough pregnancy because of a subchorionic hematoma. I had quite a few ultrasounds, and at every one baby was developing perfectly and on schedule. After he died I was tested for a few clotting conditions but not all. My first three pregnancies were non eventful and resulted in beautiful healthy children. I tested normal for my thyroid and a few others that I can't remember. My midwife chalks it up to really bad luck. I hope this lo sticks.

 

[ready4family]

How was your weekend ladies? Mine was good. Feeling more symptoms everyday, had to pull out the C cup bra I've been tossing and turning ALL night, having crazy dreams and waking up starving. I remember this from last time. Hopefully that calms down, it's hard to be so tired and not able to get good sleep! My hcg went from 809 to 1525 in less than 48 hours, so far so good! First u/s is scheduled for 4/5 at 7w6d, can't wait!

 

[AwesomeSauce]

I wish I could just relax and enjoy pregnancy. I wish I wasn't searching for any
symptoms, or getting depressed when they disappear for a day. I wish I was having vivid dreams and middle of the night pee trips. Today I don't really have any symptoms (but usualy don't until 6-7 weeks anyway) and I wish that didn't freak me out. I hate that loss has killed the joy in this.

 

[ready4family]

I agree awesome. I keep expecting to see blood everytime I go to the restroom, and I find it hard to be happy like if I am, something bad is going to happen. It's rough!

 

[Angeltk42]

Hey ladies,
I am going for my first sonogram tomorrow!!! I'm excited but nervous beyond belief. I am so scared that they are going to tell me something is wrong. I know it's an irrational fear considering I didn't even get to have a sonogram with my first pregnancy bc I m/c so early. But I can't help but freak out a little. I just want to know there is a little heart beat flickering away in there. Shouldn't my first sonogram be exciting and happy not with all this fear?? It stinks. I have all the normal pregnancy symptoms, Nausea, sore boobs, frequent peeing, vivid dreams, insomnia yet exhausted (figure that one) and they come and go. Some days I feel great others I feel awful. This pregnancy is 100% different than my first that ended too soon so why am I always so apprehensive? I will let you all know how it goes tomorrow. Praying my sticky baby is in there happy and healthy. Is it tomorrow yet?? lol

 

[Storked]

Awesome, I am going to tell you what LoraLoo says: she says that she just reminds herself that while 20% of all pregnancies will end with a loss that she still has an 80% chance of it all going great. She focuses on that 80%

Angel, big for tomorrow! I got to have an ultrasound with my first but it was an ultrasound from hell. Hope you find reassurance tomorrow dear. Do you take comfort in this pregnancy being so different?

 

[AwesomeSauce]

Thanks storked. I just need to keep calm and carry on. Trust that what will happen will happen, and my worrying doesn't help or change anything.

 

[Angeltk42]

Awesome, I am going to tell you what LoraLoo says: she says that she just reminds herself that while 20% of all pregnancies will end with a loss that she still has an 80% chance of it all going great. She focuses on that 80%

Angel, big for tomorrow! I got to have an ultrasound with my first but it was an ultrasound from hell. Hope you find reassurance tomorrow dear. Do you take comfort in this pregnancy being so different?

Yes i do. Because the last pregnancy it was like I knew it was doomed. This one I feel a lot of positivity surrounding it so I kinda have faith everything is going to work out. Plus Idk if you believe this sort of thing but my Great aunt who was an inspiration and a rock for me my whole life was on her death bed last year and I was fortunate to have spent a lot of time with her before her passing... in fact I was there when she took her last breath and the last text message she wrote to me which was a month before she died and getting kinda incoherent said "oh and you will have your baby by the end of next year" so I feel reassured that she is making sure this baby is going to be ok. Still have worry of course but idk it's like she is protecting me and the baby this time around. I guess I focus on that!