November Rainbows 2016

[maryanne1987]

I have those I thinking crazy days all the time. Everywhere we go people seem to tell us we are crazy for having them so close, but I honestly don't care as I love it. Only time it's a real struggle is getting out and about. I hate double pushchairs!

 

[lilesMom]

I hate double buggy too
But getting used to it.
Looks like no for now from oh.
I get why.
In one way it makes sense.
But still disappointed

 

[lilesMom]

Wish I hadn't ordered tests now.
They will only torment me in the house.
Doh

Emily giggling in her sleep on boob.
Cutie

 

[maryanne1987]

Did you have a talk? Did he say why it's a no? I'm sorry lilesmom, hopefully he will change his mind soon and you can put them to use.

Awwww I love sleepy giggles. Henry giggles in his sleep. It's adorable. Always wonder what makes him laugh in his dream.

 

[lilesMom]

It was a pretty definite no.
He thinks it be too much for us.
To be fair I would have to have section again
And not be able to lift Simon or probably em.
So a lot of it would fall to him for first two months.
But on the other hand
He does no child minding aka parenting till they hit at least one.
He doesn't do babies
But loves kids when interactive
I'm a bit peed off but understand why
I even half agree cos it's busy as it is.
But after first three months it wouldn't be a million times harder.

 

[lilesMom]

I like to think she is dreaming of me playing with her when giggling.
She only giggles at Simon and me

 

[maryanne1987]

I'm sorry lilesmom it's tough when your heart and head say different things. You can want something so much and knowing that it wouldn't be practical doesn't make it easier. Hopefully very soon you will be back to ttc.

We didn't end up dtd last night anyway. We had a really bad row which is unusual for us but it ended up with me making him sleep on the sofa. We haven't spoken this morning either, I've purposely avoided him so he went to the gym and for a run. Not sure I will be speaking to him later unless he apologises either. So dtd is looking unlikely tonight too. On the plus side I still haven't a positive opk yet, looks like I'm going to be ovulating late this cycle so if we make up in the next few days then we may still catch the egg but the way I feel at the moment he's not coming near me at time soon.

 

[lilesMom]

Hugs hon.
Hope opk waits until ye makes up
Xxx
Def wouldn't feel like dtd when mad with them.
My libido was waking up.
But weirdly think it was linked to possibly new bub.
Cos its vamoosed again now its off the table.
Its probably better for us all not to ttc right away.
Still a bit sucky though.

Hope ur oh apologises in time xxx

 

[maryanne1987]

He did apologise when he got back the gym. Still not sure if I fancy baby making but we will see. He's keen not to miss this month but I feel pretty yuck after our row. We hardly ever row so I'm still upset by it.

Awww Hun, I bet it is. Try not to let it get you down. You could be one of those who gets a surprise bundle before af comes back anyway. Its happened to so many of my friends.

 

[lilesMom]

Fights suck.
I always feel residual Gggrr for a bit after.
Best of luck for timing to go your way this month xxx
Glad he said sorry.
Oh never does with words.
But will cook dinner r do something to make up.
Hve had to take the actions speak louder than words, instead of staying cross.

We managed to avoid surprises for over ten years before Simon so probably not.
Don't think he is saying never anyway
Just not now.
We rethink in a bit.
Thanks hon xx

 

[maryanne1987]

DH hates saying sorry too but he still will apologise as he knows I won't let it go if he doesn't. Plus this time I deserved an apology. He called me cold hearted for not crying over the loss. Takes a lot to get me that annoyed but I went mental. I'm not a cryer, never have been. Plus after so many losses I'm kinda numb to it to a certain degree. Doesn't mean I don't care. Hopefully won't be rowing again anytime soon. I hate it. Im still worked up over it now. He is really really apologetic and said he didn't mean it but that's the issue with rows, once it's said it's hard to take back.

How's Simon now? Is he ok on the new meds now?

 

[lilesMom]

Aw hugs hon.
I'd be soo mad too.
Everyone handles loss differently xxx
Oh didn't cry after our losses except the first one
But I got that we all grieve in our own ways.
Doesn't mean we don't care.
Huge hugs xxx
I didn't cry much after my fourth eother.
I only had two days thinking I was preg
And felt wrong
So kept myself detached.
We do what we had to to protect ourselves and our kids.
Can't fall apart for their sake too.
Xxx

Simon is ok.
Eating a little but bare min
Has to sleep after meds
Bit zonked still buy better than he was.
Epilepsy sucks
Sometimes the meds honestly suck more.
Gone back to playschool this morn
But he naps there if he needs to

 

[maryanne1987]

Those were my points, one, I had a feeling something was going wrong anyway so didn't let myself get attached to the idea, and two, if I fell apart then who takes care of the children? He said aid he didn't mean it and was just speaking in anger but I'm still hurt by it. He can sleep on the sofa a few more nights lol.

Poor boy. It's so unfair children being ill. Can his conditions ever improve or will he have it this bad all of his life?

 

[lilesMom]

So sorry thought I answered xxx

I've said stuff I really didn't mean in a fight
The aim is to wound the other one.
Huge hugs hon xxx
I'm sure he really didn't mean it
Was just lashing out xxx

Simes can and can't improve
His injury won't improve.
Most of the left side of his brain is scar tissue
But his functionality and if we get in top of his epilepsy. Then developmentally he can improve.
Which is great.
But he will always hve some degree of impact from it
It's just to lessen it as much as we can xxx

 

[lilesMom]

After saying accidents won't happen.
We may have used an expired condom.
We had a bag of them from before and never checked the date.
There r two lots in the bag.
Some expired some not
Don't know which one we used.
Chances r it's still not going to result in anything
Cos might have been in datw.
Could still hve been use able even if not
Plus no af back.
Be funny if it did happen
But exceptionally unlikely

 

[lilesMom]

Google says only more likely to break
It didn't break so that's that

 

[lilesMom]

Sorry million posts.
I'm back to wanting to ttc again.
Just cos I thought for a millisecond maybe there was a chance.
Asked oh for a time frame.
Not even an exact one
He keeps just saying in the future.
Gggrrr
Even if I knew I had x amount to wait
Even if it was a year or two.
Better than bring left hanging

 

[LynAnne]

I'm the same, lilesmom. I would really just like to know roughly when DH would be on board for #2 but he just says sometime in he next couple of years. I've made it clear that I'm good any time from September time so it'll be up to him from then. He also knows that I don't really want a bigger age gap than 3 years if we can avoid it. To be fair, he just totally changed his mind one day when we started TTC for Connor, before all the losses. I bet he'll do the same second time round. It's hard having to wait on them.

 

[maryanne1987]

He looks like such a happy young man with all he has to deal with, you must be so proud of him lilesmom.

I'm sorry lilesmom, that must be tough. I can totally understand wanting a date as it would drive me insane otherwise. Especially if it was something I really wanted. Hope both of you get the answer you want very soon.

Don't think I'm in with a chance this month anyway as we only managed to dtd once. And that was about 2 days before O.

 

[lilesMom]

2days before ov is my magic day.
Gives enough time for swimmers to be up there. Waiting to pounce hee hee.
Best of luck.
I've got preg twice with just doing doing it that day.
And never missed that day the other 4 times xxx

It is irritating being left hanging isn't it.
Even a rough time frame be good.
But like u oh could come along next week and say yeah.
He is away in 4 weeks.
I've a weird feeling he might say yeah after that.
But might be wishful thinking

Simon is great.
He honestly squeezes all joy he can out.
Despite all he has to put up woth.
He is heaps better today thank God
Got my happy chappy back again