~~~November Sparklers 2010 mummies and daddies thread ~~~~

[GossipGirly]

yeh i think u have to start small and build up as tummys still small but well done amber

 

[you&me]

It was probably a couple of teaspoons full of cauliflower cheese and fruit purree...doubt she got much from sucking the toast and breadstick??...so should be okay??

I had completely forgotton all this weening side of things

Has Libby settled better tonight at home?

 

[pichi]

dont think you can danielle. she'll let you know when she's done

 

[GossipGirly]

yeh thats should be fine, although my ak book says no wheat before 6 months? dunno why..

and is she shite, iv been up 3 effin times and she is stirring again! I swear to god Im going to run away!

 

[GossipGirly]

im really fed up, iv put her on her back and just left her awake now, she is going to scream in a minute but Im just at my wits end Its really getting me depressed and im starting to wish I never had her, I dont know what im doing wrong but all this nhs f*ucking skin to skin shit for breast feeding has done this! she cant go to sleep anywhere but on me! Im letting her cry! sorry if that sounds harsh but im getting angry with her so need to resort to that..

 

[pichi]

maybe letting her cry and realise she's safe with you not around is what she needs?

 

[GossipGirly]

didnt work after 10 mins so i just got her as she was still screaming..

i give up, just got her up and will let her fall asleep on me, im such a shit mother, nothing works and iv run out of ideas

 

[pichi]

you're not a shit mother hun Libby is just testing your patience.

 

[you&me]

Gemma

You have done the right thing hun, if you are getting angry...walk away, it won't hurt her to have a little cry to herself...have you tried the CC route, or PUPD?

Easier said than done I know, but if you are getting anxious and working yourself up when it approaches her bedtime because you know she will create she could be picking up on that.

What was your labour like? Was it traumatic? Would there be any point in trying something like cranial osteopathyCranioSacral therapy? Or baby massage if you haven't tried that?

There is a link here that has some ideas that might be worth a try...babies tend to establish their sleeping habits between 3 and 6 months...and as tedious and hard as it is consistency is the big factor with them.

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/sleepallnight/#4

 

[GossipGirly]

no I didnt really I got induced and it was pretty quick..

I have the major issue that she wont lie on her back to go to sleep... Im just at a loss. Thanks I'l read the link u have put, iv just put her in her swing now, she just constantly fights sleep all the time! its always a battle and its draining, I need my husband.. Sophie I really take my hat off to you like it must be so difficult for you x

 

[GossipGirly]

thanks your that link, it described libby to a tee because she has to fall asleep on us first, idk what im going to do about this tummy sleeping as she moves her head from side to side all the time to wake herself up? im going to have to try her on her back and just walk out the room?

 

[you&me]

If she knows you will bring her out of the room then she will create at bedtimes because she wants to be with mummy because that is what makes her feel safe

I have always put the girl's down when they have been half and half, never fully asleep, most babies will have a wind down period, 20 minutes or so of having a little grizzle until they teach themselves to fall asleep...I think they need to learn they can be safe in a cot and that it is in the cot they are falling asleep, not on mum or dad.

If they are still grizzling then I go back in, talk calmly to them, I never get them out of the cot and never stay in the room for more than a minute at a time...then I sit on the top step and listen...more often than not they drift off...because at night I am a boring mummy

I don't know if a HV could give you any advise, as most of them are shit anyway

I wonder if they sell like a lavender plug in? Lavender always make people sleepy.

Just looked into some natural stuff you could try if you want to (copied and pasted from a site):

Lavender: Use it topically as a muscle relaxing massage oil. Rubbing it into your baby's feet will help it absorb almost immediately and you will be surprised at how quickly your baby calms. Place a few drops in a vaporizer in your baby's room at bedtime, and let the aromatherapy soothe him/her. And once your baby is taking a bottle, replace the water and juice with a mild version of lavender tea.

Chamomile ~ Do not be afraid to use this gentle, healing herb on your baby! I made the mistake of overlooking this powerful option before I ever gave it a chance. Providing a sedative effect for upset babies, chamomile is a must for your own sanity.

Chamomile oil has anti-inflammatory, pain-relieving, and antispasmodic effects when taken internally. Many of the causes of sleeplessness and irritability in babies can be relieved by drinking chamomile tea regularly. The versatile tea soothes intestinal difficulties. As with the lavender, replace juice or water with chamomile tea.

Just as the effects of chamomile are soothing internally, it is also a great choice for caring for sensitive skin of an infant. Pour a few drops of the essential oil into a bath. Conditions such as diaper rash and eczema are soothed instantly by soaking in chamomile. Because of chamomile's great calming effect, it serves as an excellent natural sleep aid for babies.

 

[GossipGirly]

i never usually take her out of the room, but tonight Im so tired after last night I just couldnt be bothered anymore.

Thing is she goes straight into full on scream? I have a right little bad tempered drama queen.. I wonder where she gets that from?

 

[weezyweu]

GG just wanted to say Libby sounds like my first two LO's and it does get better. I know that isn't much help now. I could never leave my two crying until things got too much, then just walked away. one thing I did find that worked really well is after you have put her down if she wakes, go to her but don't talk to her or make eye contact. That works with Leo now aswell.
Does she have any light toys or music she likes that you could put on in her room.

 

[you&me]

Kid's are weird little people really!!! I'd love to know what goes through their minds!!

You're not a shit mum hun it does get easier as they get older, because they can talk more and make themselves understood easily.

We should put up a poll thing in Baby club, cos I bet you not half as many babies sleep through the night as people think...people are quick to talk about the good sleeper's...but not so eager to chat about their LO's that aren't such good sleepers.

 

[GossipGirly]

well i need to make her bottles so iv put her in her cot again with her mobile on lol when it stops she cry's.. she has got a light show but it more wakes her up than sends her to sleep!

 

[Pixelle]

GG You're not a shit mum, you're doing really well, considering how you feel.

Kai rarely settles to sleep on his own. I usually have to rock or walk him to sleep and it's knackering. He won't go off to sleep without me or OH doing everything we can possibly think of, all the time.
I also think it's the breast feeding thing. He got used to sleeping on me from that and has never gotten out of it.

Once he's asleep, we have to wait until he's deep enough in that putting him down won't wake him. If he wakes, it starts all over again. If he doesn't wake straight away, he soon does and screams the place down until I pick him up (Our neighbours must love us!).
I've tried no eye contact, quiet voice..everything but once he's awake, that's it. It's back to the start again.

you&me is right....many people don't talk about their babies not sleeping. Personally I don't talk about it because I feel like a failure and also I'm scared of being judged by others. But just recently I've realised I'm not a failure, I just have a baby who loves his mummy and likes to be close. That's not a bad thing in itself, but it is frustrating that I get no time out, at all. If he's not on me, I have to be playing with him. He won't just sit and play or occupy himself.

Anyway, after that essay, I have found a solution that works for us.
I've been so desperate to try anything, that I searched online for white noise, not thinking it would help but willing to give it a try.

I found a wave noise with a heartbeat here:
https://cantonbecker.com/music/white-noise-sleep-sounds/mp3s.php
It's free too.

The first night I played it (we have an iPod shuffle with some cheap speakers from amazon) I sat and held him while he went to sleep in the lounge. The next night, I moved into his room, with the speakers, with him on me.
After that, he seemed to be used to it and although he still had to fall asleep on me, it was much quicker, without the rocking and walking him around.
Now, when I can see he's tired, I put the speakers on and put him in his moses (in his cot), in his room and he will just drift off to sleep.
It doesn't work every time, but more often than not, with the noise playing he will stay asleep. He still needs to fall asleep on me probably 50% of the time, but that's such an improvement.
I only turn it off when I go to bed and take him into my room.

I tried other "white noise" sounds before, but they didn't work. He didn't like the rain ones, or others. The only one that has worked was the wave and heartbeat.
He does quieten when the hoover or hairdryer is on but that isn't practical at night! And anyway, it doesn't usually send him to sleep, just makes him shush for a while Hence why I didn't think white noise would help.

I really feel for you as I know how hard it is. The above might not work for you (I didn't think it would with us) but it might be worth a try.

I'm hoping once he gets used to actually sleeping properly, I can do away with the speakers eventually.

I hope things get better for you soon. I know how hard it is, and to have tried everything and anything!

 

[pichi]

do you pick her up as soon as she cries? and as soon as she settles do you put her back down again?

what i found with pixie was if i didn't put her back down again she was getting used to me holding her all the time. now we have a little girl that likes cuddles but doesn't like to be held ALL the time

pixelle: white noise really helps pixie sleep. we have the slumber bear and set it to static... sometimes shift it to heartbeat so it doesn't seem repeatative(Sp).

 

[pichi]

oops - double post

 

[pinklizzy]

We use white noise too ( I have an app on my phone that is wave noise which seems to work the best) and I got some massage cream from tesco the other day-it's organic lavender and chamomile-it might work?
GG xx