More updates about my mam.
My cousin basically told her a. No to the birthing partner thing. b. You two don’t have a relationship any more, and c. She’s asked you not to send messages through people any more. She apparently replied with a crying face.
Then today she has messaged her again asking if she thinks I would have regrets if anything happened to her. If that’s some kind of suicide threat I don’t want to hear it, because when I was suicidal and self harming she laughed in my face. She should have saved me. It’s not my job to save her.
Cousin said, I don’t know, but she is adamant she doesn’t want you in her life. What else is she meant to say? How is she meant to know how I’d feel if my mam died? I don’t even know how I’d feel. Probably just wanted her ego stroked.
Then just a few hours ago she messaged my cousin again saying she appreciated her telling her I was pregnant, but could she please not send her any more updates. (My cousin has been asked not to send updates anyway). Apparently its causing her “untold upset”. That’s the last I’ve heard.
I’ve waited for this moment for a long time, to have the last laugh when she realises just how irreparably she has fucked up when she’s told she can’t see her grandchild. I expected a kind of glee, but I guess revenge isn’t sweet after all. Maybe I’m just not as bitter of a person that I thought I was.