Thank you. Your positive words really do genuinely help. Sometimes I feel "I can do this, I'm strong" Other times I'm weak and think too much about the family I thought I was going to have. It is like mourning the loss a happy life.
It's the times that you are struggling you need to call a friend or come here for support. I believe you are strong and will only get stronger by standing on your own and being brave, if you want him to be at the birth you could still do that but maybe have a friend there too, you need to work out a balance where he's involved as a father but isn't being abusive towards you in any way.
Just look at your scan picture, you have the coolest baby ever - you can do it for all of you!
Wow you really are good at giving PMA aren't you! Thank you so much for your kindness and making me smile. He is a cool baby
Those things he said to you are emotional abuse and under no circumstances should he speak to you that way. He certainly should NOT speak to you that way in front of your child either after he gets here. He will be setting a very bad example for that child if he doesn't do something about it to change it.
I'd try to see if I could get him to go to counseling. But you can't approach it as he is the problem or he'll probably get more defensive and shut down.
I mean, I do see in a way why he got upset. I think he was happy about having the changing rooms. And your saying "It seems pointless" really put a damper on things for him. So, I can see why he was upset. BUT that of course doesn't constitute talking to you in a demeaning and derogatory way.
Maybe you could tell him that you both need to work on your communication and you would like to see a counselor to help you. Good luck and I wish you the best no matter what!
I can see why he got upset too. All he had to do was tell me but he is incapable of saying things in a normal manner. It has to be said in an aggressive way or he feels he is not getting his point across.
He would definitely not do counciling. He is not the sort sadly
Thank you so much for replying
This has made me very mad. I wouldn't bother talking to him until he comes and apologizes. Absolutely ridiculous. What a sick thing to say to somebody carrying your baby! NOBODY should be allowed to talk to you that way. You and your baby deserve better!
Thank you. He has now apologised and we are talking, via text! He come come over tonight but it depends how the 'talking' goes.
Well that was a reaction and a half....but kinda typical squaddie.
I don't know how many times OH and I argued about "useless crap" before I actually moved to him to camp. The distance and their job seems to be a ticking timebomb for arguments.
Hope he apologizes hun. its not nice having crap like that thrown at you especially when are pregnant
He did apologise, thank you. Yep, typical soldier behaviour sadly. He is a Para and they are trained to be monsters. It worked well on him. His dad's girlfriend said he wasn't like this before The Army.
Sounds like your relationship improved which is great
im quite a hot head myself so i'd say if my fella spoke to me like that i'd punch him so hard in th mouth he'd never speak again let alone in such a poor tone. His behaviour is unacceptable, u dont need that. Saying that he doesnt want anymore to do with u and telling u to raise the baby by yourself is out of order unless he means it then i'd say u r well shot of him, if hes saying it to be spiteful then he needs telling to stop it because no one needs that kind of mental and emotional torture. Hope u r okay hun
FOB needs a definite kick up the rear end. Hope he tones it down xx
Ha ha. If I punched him as hard as I could he would laugh at me. He likes fighting so it would not even hurt him (he does not go out fighting btw!).
I think he does say things to be spiteful. It is very hurtful and is destroying the relationship as it is wearing down my belief in it being genuine.
Thank you. I hope he tones it down too. Very much so.
Like Scuffer said, don't worry about what other people think. I had only been married for 18 months when I left my 1st husband due to his infidelity and emotional abuse. I worried what people would think, but in the end, I didn't care. No-one has the right to treat you that way. I once saw a quote which said "No-one has the power to make you feel inferior without your consent" (I think it was Eleanor Rossevelt) and I kept that with me for months.
You do not deserve how he treats you. How can a slapped face be in jest? It's all about control. The baby was his idea because it's his control over you. He probably knows you want a happy family unit, and thinks you won't leave now because you're pregnant.
When I was contemplating leaving my ex my mum said to me "Is this how you want your life to be in 50 years?" Ask yourself that question, and if the answer is "no", and you know he won't change, then my advice would be run for the hills and don't look back.
xx
Well done for leaving him, I would too in a heartbeat in I found out he was unfaithful. Noone can be expected to stick around after that. Such a horrible thing to go through
The 50 year thing is interesting. Right now I definitely do not want to be here in 50 years. Lots of thinking to do. And talking too.
How old is he that he thinks this is an acceptable way to talk to anyone let alone the mother of his child?
I have quite a temper but I wouldn't say anything so hateful to someone I loved, nor would I slap or throw things at them?
Honestly, like someone else said - think about your life, and is this really how you want to spend the rest of it? If he's not willing to get help for his temper then he's not going to change, and if he's not going to change- this is what you have to look forward to for the rest of your life.
And another concern would be if he's ok with talking to you like this, what happens when the baby is older and does something like throw a ball through his big screen TV, or something equally mortifying?
He is 35. Sounds younger ay.
Kids is my other major concern. Well, infact it is my first concern. He has zero patience with my son and yells at him too sometimes. Sometimes I back him up as Lou was in the wrong and I'd yell too. But there have been times it was well out of order and not necessary. So I have naturally come to Lou's defense and that sparks a major argument. If he scared my son or behaved as bad to him as he does me he would be out the door. That goes for my unborn son too.
The first time I was young and we just weren't suited to each other. The second time was to a man who I didn't realise was very controlling over me and my son until I left, I also discovered that his anger and short temper towards my son had caused my little boy a lot of heart ache and I still feel so very guilty. 
