October babies due dates and bump colours

[OctBebe]

Great name!!!
I want Mason William but OH HATES Mason. I'm going to try change that haha

 

[zb5]

I like Noah, and I love Lucas!! Lucas was on our list. We ended up picking Silas. (We've had it picked out for a while but I'm not sharing it very much). So now Lucas is out for future siblings too, because Silas and Lucas would be too much "as" I think, you know?

 

[nypage1981]

Oh, girls- the smoking issue has come up at a freakily perfect time....but im in shambles over it I found out I was pregnant(finally! ) and stopped that moment, which for TTC for so long I should have quit well before, but anyways. OH supposedly quit also. Now, in the last 7 months i've asked, accused, and bantered him countless times about me thinking he has been smoking for numerous reasons and he assures me not, and even has gotten mad at ME for accusing him. So its been lots of fights because i've found a smell in his car or ashes or something and he denies it so hard that he is really mad at me. Anyways, I caught him yesterday because a month or so ago I vacuumed his car VERY thoroughly to rid of old ashes and busted my butt doing it in all the cracks, well yesterday there are brand new ashes in it. He denied it, got pissed, and left. Well later was admitted that he does smoke but its all my fault, as I "stress him out." So now he is blaming it on me, and has really been lying to my face and going behind my back for 7 months, AND smoking in his car, which the baby will be riding in..its not only just the smoking issue, its the trust issue now. So if he goes out or has to travel for work, where does the line draw of him doing things behind my back with no worry whatsoever, and easily lying to my face about it? Or justifying it because "ive stressed him out" or something. ....Im really upset What can I do to get over this? I am ready to pack up and get out really as I just feel really betrayed. Lying to my face about something small for months on end is just heart breaking. Especially when i've had to give up smoking cold turkey, can't run for a beer, have to watch what I eat constantly, sushi- long lost memory, can't sleep a certain way or bend the wrong position- I have given up doing anything that he can easily do in one second....and he can't give up smoking when he knows how important this is to me? As if I've not been"stressed out" too and what do I do about it? I try to calm myself in worries of stressing the poor baby out as im crying.....sigh. am i just being nuts?

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Oh, girls- the smoking issue has come up at a freakily perfect time....but im in shambles over it I found out I was pregnant(finally! ) and stopped that moment, which for TTC for so long I should have quit well before, but anyways. OH supposedly quit also. Now, in the last 7 months i've asked, accused, and bantered him countless times about me thinking he has been smoking for numerous reasons and he assures me not, and even has gotten mad at ME for accusing him. So its been lots of fights because i've found a smell in his car or ashes or something and he denies it so hard that he is really mad at me. Anyways, I caught him yesterday because a month or so ago I vacuumed his car VERY thoroughly to rid of old ashes and busted my butt doing it in all the cracks, well yesterday there are brand new ashes in it. He denied it, got pissed, and left. Well later was admitted that he does smoke but its all my fault, as I "stress him out." So now he is blaming it on me, and has really been lying to my face and going behind my back for 7 months, AND smoking in his car, which the baby will be riding in..its not only just the smoking issue, its the trust issue now. So if he goes out or has to travel for work, where does the line draw of him doing things behind my back with no worry whatsoever, and easily lying to my face about it? Or justifying it because "ive stressed him out" or something. ....Im really upset What can I do to get over this? I am ready to pack up and get out really as I just feel really betrayed. Lying to my face about something small for months on end is just heart breaking. Especially when i've had to give up smoking cold turkey, can't run for a beer, have to watch what I eat constantly, sushi- long lost memory, can't sleep a certain way or bend the wrong position- I have given up doing anything that he can easily do in one second....and he can't give up smoking when he knows how important this is to me? As if I've not been"stressed out" too and what do I do about it? I try to calm myself in worries of stressing the poor baby out as im crying.....sigh. am i just being nuts?

No, emotions are high for all of us now as I'm starting to see. That makes things more intense. The lying for months over something like this is silly. Blaming it on you is NOT taking responsibility for his own actions and frankly is childish. I wouldn't own that. Take that remark and put it back in his own lap. Your both in charge of your own "recovery" if that makes sense. You took the responsibility as the mother to make sure your baby is safe by stopping what could be lethal. Now it's his turn. Could you have the pediatrician talk with him about how smoking in the first year can cause upper respiratory issues such a asthma? Ask if it would be worth your childs health and overall well-being for him to smoke?

I would also share in a calmer tone that his lies have caused you to wonder if there is anything else he isn't telling you and if he feels comfortable at all being honest in your marriage. Tell him you love him, you love your baby and the only reason you want him to stop is because you love him, care about his health and care about the baby you made together. Try not to solely make him out to be the bad guy, but DEF. don't take the "it's your fault" on. Nope! You've done your part, now he has to choose whether he wants to follow through or not. His lies and his condemnation doesn't come from you, but because he was caught lying and probably feels as though he's struggling to quit. Turn it around and ask him how you could help him follow through. Ask him if he's GENUINELY serious about quitting.

I think the biggest part of a marriage is communication. It takes time. It's not going to happen overnight but the best thing you can do is come together and find out how you can make this work for the better of both of your health AND your baby.

 

[shelleney]

Oh Nyp Im so sorry Hun.

I have had the same conversation with my OH - if I have had to give up alcohol, pate, runny eggs, brie, my asthma and eczema medication, my figure, my freedom, etc, etc, WHY CANT HE GIVE UP THE CIGARETTES?!

But i dont have the issue of him lying - because when I ask him if he has been smoking, he says "yes" straight away. Although sometimes I feel like thats worse in a way. He's just so blase about it, he isnt ashamed at all. He wont accept that its dangerous for me and the baby. He says im overreacting

I havent got any answers, Nyp, but Im here to talk if you need to
xx

 

[LittleStars]

Nypage - There is a financial, emotional and health factor involved in smoking. I think that you need to write down how you are feeling, make DH read the letter and then decide what his plan is. Ask him how he will remain accountable and make a deal to work together to help him. Even if all you can get him to agree to at this point is to not smoke in the car or house and to wash his hands and brush his teeth after any he does have. Anything would be a step up from sneaking around. Perhaps he just needs motivation (I know I know a baby and your smiling face along with good health should be enough), mini goals for example. Perhaps he just needs a different aid to help stop smoking. I'm not a big fan of nicotine substitutes myself because to me that's the hardest part - withdrawl but for many people it works because it breaks the physical habit. I dunno. I'm just babbling and hoping some of this might make sense. I know I will be watching my husband like a hawk as soon as he goes back to university, it'll be a while before I totally trust he's smoke-free since he's quit for a few weeks at a time before since he restarted. It's hard and it sucks but we're here to talk if you want.

Shelleney - Dh is thankfully always honest about everything including his smoking. In some ways I'd rather think he's quit so I could ignore the problem but I am grateful he doesn't hide it. I just hate the justification that comes with it. 'I don't know anyone at school" "I made a friend and he always offers" "I hate work it sucks" "It was a special occassion" etc. So lame!

On the bright side.. I got the curtain rod/curtain up in the nursery. Yay me! Today's plan is to go look at baby mattresses and buy DH some new jeans. Poor guy has been putting on the pregnancy weight alongside me. He really needs to get it off asap though, he has his fitness test with the military in December. I am also hoping to pick a few things up for my sister's baby basket.

Tell me how this sounds: I cannot go to my sister's baby shower since it'll be in a different city and the weekend I have a planned c-section for. However, she will be in town for all of next week which will be her last visit until Christmas (baby is due Oct 17th). Anyway, so I plan on making up a gift 'basket' for her as my present to her for the new baby. I wanna avoid all the usual things that people buy and she's bought or already had gifted by grandparents-to-be the large items and will get tonnes of the usual shower crap. So I've already got a book with lullabies/CD, I was going to get a few toys for 6+months since no one bought me any for my shower, an outfit of two for 6-9 months, a couple of baby books and 'pleather' monkey head bookends (he DH is REALLY into monkeys and the theme for the room is jungle). And then a few nice smelly things from a Bath&BodyWorks for the momma to pamper herself when she get a little time. Any of that sound dumb or can you think of anything to add to make it better? My sister has always spoiled DD and has been a great aunt but it's hard to reciprocate at a time when we are expecting two more of our own. So I am hoping to give her items that are appreciated and will have long term use versus just matching $ for $.

Anway enough of today's ramble. Have a good day girls

 

[DMG83]

littlestars i love your gift ideas that's really thoughtful and nice. My mum is going to get us some 6+ month gifts and outfits as really everyone goes for new born or 0-3months and she wants to be useful and not just "cute"

I think everything you said was great..

sorry about the OH's smoking ladies only advice i can give is to stick by your guns when they are saying you are all "overreacting".. my personal experience only relates to my dad smoking, i am asthmatic, as are half my brothers and sisters and i'm sad to say that i really do believe that my dad's smoking had a lot to do with it (even though he had to smoke outside he was allowed to smoke in the car )

but more than the physical problems it can cause... my dad smoked up until about 3yrs ago, when he quit cold turkey after smoking for 40yrs. What led him to that point of quitting was that he ended up in and out of hospital with treatment for emphysemia (sp??), pneumonia, bronchittis, chest infections, heart trouble.. you name it, he had it....

Now luckily, as they say (and it is true) the effects of smoking CAN be reversed, or in the very least halted, as soon as smoking stops (sorry to anyone who says different and bolloc*s to the stopping smoking causes more stress and is dangerous campaigners - my dad went from 40 a day for 40+ years to nil) and he is now much MUCH healthier.. he can come out shopping and he had the energy to make our LO's crib (handcarved).. and his life expectancy has increased dramatically..

unfortunately i'm now 28.. and although i will never say this to my dad.. i will never forgive him for smoking for all those years, for making me live every day knowing that i could lose my dad through his own selfishness, and knowing that he never cared enough about US to stop smoking for his own health.. that's really not something anyone should have to live with, the knowledge that their child has had those thoughts about them for as long as they can remember.. and it still makes me sad now, that my dad has prematurely aged, that he still has health issues as a direct result of smoking (although they have lessened) and that he never really fully enjoyed our childhood with us because he was always out the door chugging away on a cigarette...

so that's my experience.. i can't preach cos it's not something i've ever done - i smoked one pack of cigarettes when i split with my abusive ex, smoked them in 4 hours, vomited for a week and never touched one before or since lol but i know what smoking can do to a family, and probably more importantly, i know what it's like to be the little one watching daddy smoke.. it's not nice. "If your daddy smokes he's going to die".. not pleasant for a 10yr old child to have that said to them in the playground and walk around every day thinking daddy is going to kill himself..

i hope all your OH's have the strength to give up sooner or later

sorry for ranting, it's just a topic that gets me very upset lol xx

 

[zb5]

Nypage, I'm sorry to hear that! I would be really upset too. As MA says, it seems like emotions are high right now for all of us and our DH's. Third tri is a pretty stressful place to be I guess. I hope your DH will stop lying to you. And like Littlestars says, maybe you could come to some sort of compromise where he doesn't smoke in the car, washes his hands, etc.... Of course it would be great if he would just quit alongside you but he may not see that as an option right now.

Littlestars, the gift basket idea sounds great!

AFM, we are 3 days away from our move and I am seriously stressing out. I'm having super pregnancy brain and being really forgetful. Which is hard because usually I'm the one who reminds DH of all the crap we need to do. Now neither of us is on top of things! We completely spaced about our cats vet appointment yesterday and showed up 45 minutes late. It was really important as they need health certificates to fly with us to the new house. Fortunately the vet was really nice and didn't make us reschedule.

Then I tried to transfer money between bank accounts and accidentally chose the wrong accounts and overdrafted DH's business checking account... I realized my mistake early enough that I think it'll be okay, but I hate when I do stuff like that!

Aaah... back to my busy day. It's my last day at work, I'm cleaning out my desk and then going to dinner at my uncle's house. Will be gone 9am-9pm. I want to say goodbye to everyone but I'd almost rather just stay home and work on move stuff at this point.

 

[shelleney]

I think your sister's baby basket sounds lovely Littlestars. And I think she will appreciate the thoughtfullness and practicality of it

Sorry to hear about your experience with your Dad's smoking, Nai. I also have asthma as a result (possibly) from my Dad smoking when I was a baby. But fortunately, he quit when I was 4 years old, and never started again. The asthma is a pain in the butt for me, but his health is fine! go figure!

zb5 - congrats on finishing work! woohoo!

xx

 

[nypage1981]

Wow thanks ladies. It cept good to get that off my chest. I guess I'm afraid now of trusting him, as he was so casual and easy to lie right to me. And then go about his day justifying doing something behind my back. I'm mainly hurt from the lying. It was easy for him and that breaks my heart.

Nai your words made me cry!. I think of all the times my 7 year old daughter had to see us smoking and it makes me ill and feel so badly. I know I'm done forever, for my kids, but I can't trust that he is. I just feel so confused as to how my best friend deceived me purposely day after day and didn't bat an eye.

Men are really frustrating. Idk whats next, guess im still hurting.

 

[20102001]

Wow thanks ladies. It cept good to get that off my chest. I guess I'm afraid now of trusting him, as he was so casual and easy to lie right to me. And then go about his day justifying doing something behind my back. I'm mainly hurt from the lying. It was easy for him and that breaks my heart.

Nai your words made me cry!. I think of all the times my 7 year old daughter had to see us smoking and it makes me ill and feel so badly. I know I'm done forever, for my kids, but I can't trust that he is. I just feel so confused as to how my best friend deceived me purposely day after day and didn't bat an eye.

Men are really frustrating. Idk whats next, guess im still hurting.

Have you spoken to him yet or what are you planning on saying ... and if so what did he say .. ?

 

[nypage1981]

Oh, we have spoken constantly about it....right off the bat I had told him how much im hurting over the lies. He basically has said I either move on and we do this, or we decide if I cannot forgive him for it....I just can't work out in my head if im able to just forget the lying part. I seem to be stuck on that. Sigh.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Hi ladies. Very interesting 24hrs. Our peke is still sick. More of the trotts EVERY HOUR and she only got sick once with vomiting. I've had to wake Doug every hour over the night to take her out. He got a taste of what it's been like for me. Was quite grumpy each time he had to get up. I've been waking up to pee every hour, uncomfortable positioning, etc. etc. So maybe this is his turn to comprehend what it will be like when Amelia gets here.

Early this morning I noticed I hadn't felt Amelia so we called Perinatal Center and I let them know I've been having quite a lot of pressure in my lower back. They asked us to come in and put me on the monitor...checked the Amniotic fluid etc. She's back to breech though. This kid is going to do her OWN thing!

BEFORE we got there we were at the McDonalds drive thru getting bottled water and the car started shaking. I thought some oddball got under our car and was trying to steal a part whilst the car was on. No tree's were blowing so it wasn't wind....turns out we had a 5.9 earthquake here in Central NY.

I was prescribed Ambien! I'll be starting it tonight. She came up with a plan to try it three days in a row to see if it starts the sleep process on it's own again. I'll take a shower, turn the air on and rest before bed. I'm praying it works. It would be a blessing! She also prescribed a prenatal cradle pelvic support for my lower abdomen since I've had such a hard time with the pressure below. They had to order it in my size however it's covered under our insurance 100%. SO, I may catch up on some sleep and be a bit more myself in a few days. REALLY looking forward to it!

I'm exhausted to haven't comprehended a whole lot with the thread today. Just wishing you all a good night and ZB, you gave me a laugh about the absentmindedness. That is SO Doug and I right now. Glad the business acct. is okay though. When do you leave again? When will your internet be up n running?? If it's not going to be for awhile, maybe we should switch cell numbers to text in case one of us goes into labor so we know how the other is doing? You've kinda become my bump buddy since we're due a day apart. I'd hate to lose track of you sweet friend!

 

[nypage1981]

WOW MA. I am glad that everything checked out ok with Amelia though, even if she is breach that stinker. At least it isnt early labor so now you need to relax and get some sleep. I really hope the ambien works for you.

I went to the doc today and they are having me to go Physical Therapy now. Sheesh! And I got "talked to" about still monitoring my sugars once a day or so...uhhh, what? I can't win in this pregnancy! He says, still a good idea to monitor them and change your diet....well yes, I get that, but hellllllo, I dont have diabetes so stop treating me like i do. Anyways, i've never done physical therapy on anything so kinda nervous. I dont like people paying attention to my body and stuff even medically, so I get very nervous and shy with that all.

Oh, and im an aunt for the first time today! My sis had her baby and her name is Olivia and im just so glad!

Zb- good luck with the move!

 

[LittleStars]

nypage - congrats on being an aunty! I am still waiting on that honor myself.

zb - hope the move goes smoothly!

MA - hope the sleep aids work for you. Any clue on what wrong with the dog?

We went shopping yesterday and DH and DD got a total of 5 pairs of jeans. Must be nice! I'm pretty sure that after I give birth I'm going to be desperately shopping for fall/winter clothing as nothing will fit me for a few months until I get back to fighting form. We never got around to looking/buying mattresses for the cribs so I'm hoping if we go out today we can do that.

 

[nypage1981]

I have totally NOT looked at matresses because they confuse me. Lol. What are you going to look for in a matress for the cribs?

 

[LittleStars]

After reading through a few websites this seemed to be the gist of things: tight fit to crib, plastic lined minimum one layer, firm with stiff edges. That's for a coil mattress at least. If you are going for foam it's a whole different ballgame.

Last time I just took the free one that came from the store when I bought the crib and thought nothing of it. I know there is a decent one at ToysRUs for $120 but when buying two and knowing that they can be overpriced on certain items I'm looking to shop around. Going to try Walmart, Zellers and Sears I think. Assuming I can get DH to agree since I need him to carry everything.

Meanwhile my neck on the right side is getting really sore as the morning passed. It hurts to turn my head. ??? Don't know why it's manifesting itself as the day goes on since I would have guessed I just slept wrong by how it feels but then shouldn't I have felt it when I woke up? I dunno. Meh.

 

[Mommy's Angel]

Did you hear them?? Did you hear the angels singing last night?! Hallelujah chorus was playing! Yup, I got SLEEP! Oh how I feel refreshed! Thank you Lord! \o/

As for mattresses we got the firm. Firm mattress the way littlestars explains it is what everyone recommends because it cuts down on Sids.

 

[yourstruly10]

Mommy's Angel- Happy to hear everything is good with Amelia. Even though I have a posterior placenta and should be feeling lots I actually dont feel much of her movement. That is one nice thing about having the nurses here and being on the monitor daily. And YAY! for sleep.

nypage1981- Congrats to your Sister and to you on becoming an auntie!

Im really not 100% sure what your supposed to look for in a mattress. I got mine from Walmart ( ordered online ) for 60$ which I thought was great. The discription says:
Hypoallergenic sleeping surface is free of Phthalates and Lead,
Meets Federal flammability standard 16 CFR 1633 without the use of potentially harmful chemicals
So thats all great.

One thing I do know is it should have firm support. Im assuming this is so baby cant really squish into it if they roll.

AFM: I have a second BPP(bio physical profile) ultrasound on friday to recheck and make sure my fluid levels have not gone down as they are already at the low end of normal. My fluid level was an 8 and the perrinatologist told me they like to see it between 10-12 at this point. They aren't concerned about it right now but want to make sure it isnt dropping to much and that it stays above 5. If it gets to 5 or lower Ill be put back in the hospital and possibly deliver early. If everything looks good my daily home monitoring will hopefully go down to 3 days a week and will end at 35 weeks.

We have finished Ali's room! Its very simple but im quite pleased with it. Ill add a few pictures at the end. The walls are not painted pink they only look pink from the light shinning through her curtains. We did the same in Ava's room but with purple curtains.



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[Mommy's Angel]

Aww, Ali's room is cute! Good job. I bet that really makes your heart melt knowing it's finished and ready for her. We have the furniture but I haven't gotten to the decor yet. I'll wait until AFTER the shower next weekend.