OH performance anxiety - 6 BFPs so far!!!!

[Matin]

Oh and wanted to add that we have date night every single friday night!

You're lucky! If we get out alone once every month or two, it's a miracle!

We'll miss date night tonight but making it up tomorrow. I've tried that too...t-shirt no bra and panties or short shorts and obviously flirting. DH must have some kind of man hormone issue because he just isn't interested. I did have to tell him the other night that I feel so unattractive when he behaves that way and that if ther is something more I can do to turn him on, please share!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can perform, that isn't the issue---getting him to do that is my problem and I've tried EVERYTHING, literally EVERYTHING

umm, let's see..what about
Ginseng?
Hotels or other new/novel environments?

Maybe he does need a check up. I've wondered about my husband too at times. Our low level of BD is a combo of my tiredness, children invading the room/bed until recently and him being prematurely oldmanish.
He's back and forth depending on what's going on in our lives(stress/health), how much privacy we get, moods, how flirty and/or receptive I am etc.

Overall, his drive is okay but definitely lower than my 1st husband's and other men I dated. When I'm tired, I'm quite grateful for that but when I'm charged up or wanting to try for a baby, it can be awkward. What's weird is that when I've been pg, we had sex quite a bit! I honestly wish I'd never even started with him and the world of TTC minutiae, I should've maintained some mystery there.

Since the 5 year old has finally stopped showing up in the middle of the night. I'm going to try for the 'prime the pump' tactic. We'll see if things improve further. <---decaf

 

[tundralife2]

I'm laughing but not at you. It's because I can totally relate. My youngest son actually took a quarter and opened my bedroom door while DH and I were in the middle of it. Since DH is my 2nd DH he was so shocked and it totally ruined the mood. Now he's like stepping on pins and needles when the kids are around so I do understand that. However; we share custody with my exhusband (who totally would have sex in the car if I let him) and they are not always there. He has not excuse like that. He is active duty military and we usually are home by 4:30=5:00 pm daily so plenty of time. He just wants to BD on his own time and it's so dang hard to trick that man. Crazy but that's the truth.

How long have you been TTC this time Matin?

 

[tundralife2]

Viccat- thanks for the link. I will check it out today.

 

[Matin]

tundralife2That is funny because we have some door locks like that, you can open them with a coin or flat screwdriver. Our 5 yr old loves that. LOL I hope your DH recovers from the intrusion soon!

We've just been trying since this February officially but we weren't always super careful during the TTA years. I can remember at least two or 3 cycles BDing on day of or just after seeing EWCM. It amazes me when I read about women getting pg using withdrawal or condoms. It's never happened to me and I haven't used BC pills since my first marriage.

That's my husband too: on his own time pretty much. He's a bit hardheaded in general. One weird thing I've observed is that if he notices I'm captivated by a romantic movie or a show with one of my fave dreamboat actors or musicians, he'll make a teasing comment (that the actor or musician is my boyfriend ..or he'll ask what happened to the other one I liked..I tend to cycle through celeb crushes)..but then often he'll be suddenly interested that night or the next morning.

Sometimes I'll just leave a google image search/tumblr/fansite window open on my laptop. LOL It's crazy, like a subliminal threat? hahah As if. It's the same deal if we go out and I really look nice or another guy is being flirty or attentive. All of a sudden, i'm extra hot stuff. Whatever.

....Playing music that we listened to when we first dated seems to affect him as well.

This cycle, I think I'm going to hop on the treadmill again when he's home around Ov. time. Sooo lame, I know, but I have to be stealth. Maybe put on "300" a day or so later. LOL I need to work up a little schedule of subconscious prompts.

....My ex. husband was like that"(who totally would have sex in the car if I let him)" too!... in a car, in a box, whenever, wherever. If that rel'p would've miraculously worked out, I'd have a bunch of children by now! but I'd be insane from being married to him so oh well. Such is life.

 

[SaraJewel]

How are you doing Sara? Feeling fine I hope? I started clomid this month...

Hiya Green! Sorry for tardy reply...

I'm doing well thanks! Things gone well so far, both scans fine. Bit tired in first trimester but much better now! 24 weeks now, can't believe it's been that long!

How's the clomid going?

Its ok, my message got hidden I noticed! Nice to hear from you. Week 24?! I cant believe it. Are you still working? Will you find out the sex of baby jewel?
Feel fine on the Clomid. Im a day late so getting stupidly excited but have been this late before so it doesnt mean anything. I have a tummy ache which doesnt really feel like period pain but I expect it is... Im prepared for AF coming to stay. but wouldnt it be nice if she decided not to visit for a few months... [/QUOTE]

Hi Green,

sorry to hear about AF that is totally rubbish. I am keeping my fingers crossed for all of you ladies, I remember everyone telling me not to give up hope but I have to admit I did sometimes........

Green, we haven't found out the sex and yes still working for another 10 weeks!!

 

[tundralife2]

tundralife2That is funny because we have some door locks like that, you can open them with a coin or flat screwdriver. Our 5 yr old loves that. LOL I hope your DH recovers from the intrusion soon!

We've just been trying since this February officially but we weren't always super careful during the TTA years. I can remember at least two or 3 cycles BDing on day of or just after seeing EWCM. It amazes me when I read about women getting pg using withdrawal or condoms. It's never happened to me and I haven't used BC pills since my first marriage.

That's my husband too: on his own time pretty much. He's a bit hardheaded in general. One weird thing I've observed is that if he notices I'm captivated by a romantic movie or a show with one of my fave dreamboat actors or musicians, he'll make a teasing comment (that the actor or musician is my boyfriend ..or he'll ask what happened to the other one I liked..I tend to cycle through celeb crushes)..but then often he'll be suddenly interested that night or the next morning.

Sometimes I'll just leave a google image search/tumblr/fansite window open on my laptop. LOL It's crazy, like a subliminal threat? hahah As if. It's the same deal if we go out and I really look nice or another guy is being flirty or attentive. All of a sudden, i'm extra hot stuff. Whatever.

....Playing music that we listened to when we first dated seems to affect him as well.

This cycle, I think I'm going to hop on the treadmill again when he's home around Ov. time. Sooo lame, I know, but I have to be stealth. Maybe put on "300" a day or so later. LOL I need to work up a little schedule of subconscious prompts.

....My ex. husband was like that"(who totally would have sex in the car if I let him)" too!... in a car, in a box, whenever, wherever. If that rel'p would've miraculously worked out, I'd have a bunch of children by now! but I'd be insane from being married to him so oh well. Such is life.

thanks for my morning read! very entertaining and funny you should say that about DH because my DH will say stuff about guys on TV too. I say things sometimes to provoke him though because I love getting his pressure up a bit lol.

Yea, I know the point about being with our old DH"s. I would be crazy too because it was long over before it was actually over but I do have 2 wonderful boys with him and that's what is important. We have been ttc for about a year or so and no luck. Not even a BFP of any kind. I am just now getting to the point where the military docs are checking me for other things. I will be haivng the HSG done if AF arrives this cycle but today I am only CD13. I should be O'ing in a few days. I don't chart and I did not buy any OPK's this month. I figured it would be less stressful that way.

Right now he's busy getting ready for motorcycle season anyways. Perhaps I should put on my chaps with no pants under? I'm sure that would shock him and scare him at the same time lol

Other than our weird Bd'ing DH's how are you?

 

[Matin]

thanks for my morning read! very entertaining and funny you should say that about DH because my DH will say stuff about guys on TV too. I say things sometimes to provoke him though because I love getting his pressure up a bit lol.

Yea, I know the point about being with our old DH"s. I would be crazy too because it was long over before it was actually over but I do have 2 wonderful boys with him and that's what is important. We have been ttc for about a year or so and no luck. Not even a BFP of any kind. I am just now getting to the point where the military docs are checking me for other things. I will be haivng the HSG done if AF arrives this cycle but today I am only CD13. I should be O'ing in a few days. I don't chart and I did not buy any OPK's this month. I figured it would be less stressful that way.

Right now he's busy getting ready for motorcycle season anyways. Perhaps I should put on my chaps with no pants under? I'm sure that would shock him and scare him at the same time lol

Other than our weird Bd'ing DH's how are you?

You're welcome! Sorry for taking so long to get back. I've been scrambling to find and take/eat: Soy Isoflavones, grapefruit for pre-Ov.(and then pineapple i've got cut and frozen for post-Ov.), Instead softcups, PreSeed lube. I've added this stuff to the multi-vit and extra folic acid.

Basically, things to do keep busy & hopeful as I have no idea if any of it will truly help. LOL. I took Vitex from like CD1to6 then started the the Soy until today. Next cycle i'll just do the Soy(I read that Vitex can exacerbate depression which I do.not. need.).. if I don't get pg this time.

From the Vitex and/or Soy, my left ovary is throbbing(in a weird but not painful way) and today the right side feels weird and a bit achy too. I'm hoping this means that *something* is working. I've been trying to get DH to take some extra zinc in addition to the flax seed oil and the multi-vit he takes when he remembers to.

I'm LOLing about the commando chaps. I'd think that'd definitely get his attention!! ...It'll be good to have more info from your docs, just to know, I suppose. It's hard because I've read/heard so many stories about women who got pg inspite of(in addition to the w/help of) the drs. opinion/analysis.

I'm not going to bother temping yet (just charting CM)& I'd love to not be obsessive about 'symptoms' in the 2ww. Easier said than done. I'm also trying to have a 'Fine if it happens, Fine if not' POV overall, more NTNP than TTC. Just wanting to 'Keep on Truckin' and maybe something will come of it?

 

[kelly1973]

hi ladies how are you all sara how far are you??? thing are great here baby Daniel growing like a rash xxxx

 

[Alex1812]

Hi! I am totally new around here and I know this thread hasn't been active in awhile which kind of makes me sad cuz I would totally fit in here! So I decided to post anyway just to get stuff off my chest.

Dh and I have been together for three years we just got married in May...my first his 2nd marriage....and he had a vasectomy during his first. We had it reversed in February and NTNP for a few months...but I was talking about babies like non stop and I think it started to get to him...because it was like he couldn't finish....and I would end up in tears and he would feel horrible and it was so awkward and weird I would get very um depressed and he would feel like a failure.

Then he went for a SA and we found out his counts weren't good...I didn't see the results and all he told me was they said his counts were not likely to produce a pregnancy....but he wouldn't talk to me about it and I was all depressed and crying...and every body around me I swear has announced that they'd are pregnant...I would be watching tv and see a commercial with babies in it and burst into tears....

I kept thinking great not only can we not 'finish' DTD there's nothing there even if he actually did...I was at a low of lows for me...

So I started looking around the net to see if there was anything we could do and I started reading about supplements...I had been taking maca to help regulate me cuz AF would pop in anytime she felt like it and I would never know when...but I started taking maca and I totally started up on a regular cycle...

Anyway I thought we'll if it can help me then maybe it can help him too...so

We finally started to talk and I asked him if he would take supplements and he said yes...and I did a happy dance of joy....so I started him on maca...and started more research....and now we are taking fertilaide as well...and let me tell you not only has he been 'finishing' but he is in the mood way more often and he is a lot easier to um....arouse....sorry if that is TMI...and I have also not talked to him non stop about babies...to take the pressure off of him....in my head is baby baby baby non stop....but he doesn't hear a peep about it anymore...unless he brings it up but that is not too often...

So I am keeping my fingers crossed...AF should be here sometime this week and I don't think there is even a chance bc I sort of lost track of stuff after the low count thing...so I'm sure our timing was off for my OV...so I want AF to just get here so I can OV and we can do some BDing....is that too much to ask for? Lol

Ok I am done with my long rambling post ...I have been reading all the posts in here and you girl's are very inspiring....hope everything is going good for you girl's!

 

[kelly1973]

hey alex how are you i used to post on here and had exactly the same as you i stressed my oh so much he couldny dtd hows things going are you poas

 

[Alex1812]

Hi Kelly...

Things are going good...I guess I am in limbo right now...waiting for AF to come and go...but I ordered some sticks from Amazon today and I am excited to start poas...Lol...

I'm still sort of new at this...we weren't actively trying to get pregnant before...it was more like me trying to figure out what days we should be BDing and hoping we would make a baby...now I am going to try the opk road to try and narrow it down better...does that make any sense?

How are things he with you?

 

[smurfy]

Hi Kelly...

Things are going good...I guess I am in limbo right now...waiting for AF to come and go...but I ordered some sticks from Amazon today and I am excited to start poas...Lol...

I'm still sort of new at this...we weren't actively trying to get pregnant before...it was more like me trying to figure out what days we should be BDing and hoping we would make a baby...now I am going to try the opk road to try and narrow it down better...does that make any sense?

How are things he with you?

Hi Alex

welcome, i would advice using OPK's if your situation as it does help take some of the stress out of it. My husband has a low sperm count ranging from 8-12m and it has really improved in 3 mths by taking the doctors advice of the vitamins (Vit C 1500mg & Vit E 600 iu per day), also reducing alcohol - so there are things you can do which can really improve in quite quickly also my husbands quality of sperms is really good too way above average in fact.

With a low sperm count they say to try and do every other day to help build sperm up. for the last 4 mths i am using the clearblue advance digital opks, they give you 4 days warning rather than just 2, as the track another hormone just before you ovulate too. They are expensive but at least last 2/3 months, you test first thing in the morning.

Take it from me try to take the stress away from your DTD situations, since we have seen the fertility specialist i am now a bit more relaxed as i understand what is going on. Also stress is not good for sperm, we go for monthly/6 wkly massages and have some nice treats. I also try to use this forum for some of my venting rather than at my husband.

If you can I suggest you both go and see a fertility specialist together so you know exactly what is going on, both me and my partner have been at the same meetings. Next months i will be going on clomid to help increase our chances of catching the egg as not every cycle we ovulate.

 

[kelly1973]

yes getting to know your body and when you ovulate kinda makes you feel in control of the situation my oh was just the same and now I have gorgeous Daniel to prove it can be done and now were trying for another the key is don't say a word about babys sex is meant to be fun even though we all know because we want babys when we know the time is right that's all were thinking about but blokes don't think that way xxx

 

[Alex1812]

Well that sucks about stress being bad for sperm...my hubby stresses himself out all the time...he worries about everything...before he would agree to have the reversal surgery done he made me come up with a plan for a baby sitter for when I have to start working again...I told him he was being ridiculous because we didn't even know if the surgery would be successful you know? He didn't care he had to have a plan in place...he drives me nuts with his constant worrying and planning...

I don't know....all of my cousins are having babies...there are babies popping out left and right at work...and they all make it look sooooooo easy... it seems like a daunting process to me and everyone keeps telling me not to stress about it because once you relax you will get pregnant...

So I don't know...I feel overwhelmed today...my mood is prolly caused by a fight I had with dh last night...I slept on the couch because I know how much he hates it when I do that...

 

[kelly1973]

alex sorry you are having such a hard time and I really do know how you feel we build our hopes up to such a rate when we only have these maybe 24 hour window to catch that eggy then spend the rest of the month worring that it will never happen, try to occupy your mind start a new hobby take up running that really helped me to focus

 

[Alex1812]

Kelly...

I always mean to tell you how adorable your son is...his picture just melts my heart and makes me smile...

I do need to take up a hobby...I need something to take my mind off of life...I might have to take up walking tho...I am in nooooo way in shape to start out running...but that is a really good idea...it would prolly help with the stress of my life... thanks

 

[kelly1973]

thanks alex trust me I couldn't run to save my life lol how bout swimming it will do you the world of good too forgive me if ive asked you already are you using opk

 

[SaraJewel]

Hi Kelly,

Just wanted to say congratulations on your baby boy! We also had a boy a few months ago and I am so happy.

You quickly forget the stress of TTC, although looking at this thread again makes me remember! It was so supportive tho, and helped me to keep going while giving me somewhere to vent my frustrations. I'm so glad I posted here and hope the thread has helped/will help other ladies.

For me, the key was not talking a lot about TTC but also being casual about mentioning when a "good" week was (a tip from another lady on this forum) which took the pressure out of particular days. We DTD every other day on the "good" week and when things were working out again with OH, it only took a couple of months of good timing to conceive (although it took about 15 months in total but a lot of that was with no possibility of TTC due to OH never finishing).

I tried using OPKs but never got a positive result with them so ditched them and looked at CM instead which was really reliable I think.

Good luck to everyone! x x x

 

[kelly1973]

congrats sara can we see a pic so pleased for you im ttc again I must be mad lol

 

[Alex1812]

Hi Kelly

I just bought some opks that I will be using for the first time this month...so we shall see how it goes...

Congrats Sara!