OH wants to TTC earlier - decision making help?!

[Sparky0207]

I think you're off your loop even thinking about it now tbh. You've only just met the guy!!!

In the words of Take That... have a little patience

 

[Linzi]

err how long have yous known each other? I sort of vaguely remember you going to US for a spell to meet 'a friend' etc.

Im not saying you shouldnt because of how long you've been together because that wopuld make me a hypocrite. We had been together just over a year and a half when I fell pregnant, I came off the pill when we'd been together a month and I was your age.

Now I look back, Im pleased it took as long as it did because we got a year and a half to spend together, being a couple, doing things as a couple. Day trips, nights out, romantic meals, doing as we pleased. I think every couple needs that. You dont get that much when you have a baby, or it gets seriously reduced. Im not saying you can't but honetly, a baby changes your life in so many ways you wouldnt realise until you have one.

I mean... I just can't get my head round it. Why do you both need to have a baby asap?? It seems impossible to me to finish with your serious partner, move to another country, get engaged to someone else and even think about TTC in a matter of a few months?

Again hun, Im not beng horrible, Im just hoping that my experience can give you something to think about. Love each other, enjoy being with each other... you dont HAVE to get married or have a baby straight away!!

xxx

 

[nightkd]

I know we don't HAVE to have a baby straight away. It'll be 4 years since we met that we plan to TTC

And I know all that stuff, that's why I don't feel comfortable TTC in November like he suggested. March is just the plan and we've both agreed it can be changed if we still want a bit of extra time or things still aren't sorted - eg Green Card etc. It's subject to change, not set in stone.

 

[Sparky0207]

Sorry to sound like im questioning you here, but I thought you flew out to meet him in like March this year? And im sure then you were saying you'd never met him before only spoken to him on the net. So do you mean it'll be 4 years since you first started speaking to him?

 

[Drazic<3]

I really don't get this at all, not having a go, just being honest. You seem to be in love with the idea of doing these things, rather than actually doing them. If you are prepared to have a baby without even being guaranteed of being able to be in the same time zone as the father who would otherwise be around, I don't think you are ready.

In a flash of light your whole world is upside down, that might be beautiful and perfect for you, but these changes are not right for a baba. Please, please - think it through.

 

[Farie]

All is will say is the other ladires have given you good advice and as someone who has VERY recently gone through an immigration process it is sound advice to wait until you are holding visa/greencard/permit/residency in your hand before doing anything that could backfire and cause pain later in life.
Immigration is a mine-field, until you have been through it never underestimate the issues, problems, delays and unexpected.
No matter what someone else tells you.

Good luck