Sarah: I know how much it is hurting you right now. Glad your mum is around.
you know is weird, Im not hurting too much. Its almost as if Ive generally lost interest and this month doesnt feel any different to the rest, its just normal to me to have another failed month.
obviously I do feel a dissappointment but other than that Im ok. The vegas trip helped and Im glad I did it my first IUI 2WW so I didnt obssess and I dont feel any worse this month than normal (I thought I would once I was doing treatments and paying $$). now the first one is over I will be fine continuing with them.....I will just expect them not to work each month and hopefully one month I will be bowled over!
I do sometimes wonder the month I get my bfp will my temps be high, and when will I get the 2 lines showing. Ive never had any of that.
its nice that mum is here to distract me, but its also hard as I havent told her anything about TTCing, was hoping to just surprise her with a bfp sometime. She asked me in march when I went home if we were thinking of trying, and said that 'Im sure you wont have any trouble as I was very fertile'. meanwhile we'd already been trying about a year then!! so if she asks this trip I might tell her the whole story, she knows nothing about the polyp removal etc etc. My sister knows and she will be here in 2 weeks.
how are you doing....I know these next few months are hard and I know you dont like to focus on that stuff too much but we are always here if you want to vent
I forgot to mention I had such a weird dream last night that I was pregnant and gave birth, and I had to come on here to say to everyone wow Im the last to get my bfp but the first to give birth...how weird is that as its not physically possible! so I had this child (a boy) and I was trying to breastfeed and a friend of a friend borrowed him for a while and I was annoyed as I wanted him back. my dad was even in the dream
and I was telling him Im called him Kieran Michael and my dad shed a tear (his name was Michael). But when I woke up I knew I was not pregnant before even doing my temp and seeing the spotting, perhaps the dream was my dad coming to tell me its ok it will happen
its tough to dream about him but comforting at the same time.
If I could I would have wished you pregnant a hundred times over already! I'm sure it'll happen, I just wonder what it is that's holding your body back. (that's the biochemistry major from Uni side of me talking) I know making babies is not an exact science... well I suppose it is... and it isn't... there are so many variables... I just wish we could solve it! 
I think she is going to get it for me next week. Hopefully she doesn't hold it ransom until my shower. It occurred to me this morning that my monitor is actually more expensive so I hope someone gets me that. I know there are better deals on it on Ebay so maybe MIL will get that for us. Or some loaded family members that we have on both sides of my and DH's family. 
