On the fence about breast/bottle feeding

[Little Muffin]

Before I explain id like to say thank you for being concerned about my baby's health, but I'd rather not be harped about this either. I understand why breast feeding is so good, but at the same time I'm not sure if it's something I want to do.
I already feel guilt and selfish, but I'm terrified of what breastfeeding will do to my breasts and nipples.
Before pregnancy I was already self conscious of my already large areoles. Of course with pregnancy they've only gotten bigger and darker, and me left one is even noticeably bigger and a little oddly shaped than the other. I'm only 19, and have a life ahead of me still. And am not in the most stable relationship. I don't want to be alone in the future due to men being unattracted to my large nipples, and saggy breasts.
Me and my boyfriend were having sex last week and I looked down and saw my ugly nipples and had to stop because I wanted to cry.

I heard breast feeding makes the changes in breasts permanent for most people, I'd like to hear stories of those of you who have either went back to normal, or didn't. I'd also prefer if I don't have people lying about it. I know some crazy people are willing to lie an say whatever to get there to breastfeed.
I know I'm selfish and I'm so sorry and I do love my baby to death. But I'm so scared.

 

[RaspberryK]

It's pregnancy that changes your breast the most and breastfeeding can actually help them not go saggy.
Xx

 

[ssjad]

Yes, it's the pregnancy that causes changes. I love breastfeeding, but wouldn't lie as I know where you're coming from.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Hi there, my personal experience is that I BF for 6 months, afterwards my BBs went back to pre-preg size including areolas and nipples but they were softer. I obviously can't say if it was pregnancy or BF that caused this as I don't have not BFing to compare it to.

I have seen that there are studies showing that BF doesn't affect BBs, it is more pregnancy and other factors that may or may not have an effect, here is one article I came across...

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/86982.php

Personally it didn't bother me what shape it may or may not have left my BBs in but I do appreciate that not everyone has the same attitude towards their body image as I do for various reasons. I guess you could also look at it from the view that any guy worth having will look beyond the superficial.

Incidentally my DH said he prefers my softer BBs post preg/BF. They are back to huge and full right now though being pregnant again

 

[LoveMyBaby786]

I was also 19 when I was pregnant and turned 20 a month before giving birth. Like you I have large areoles and they turned darker in pregnancy. However this did not affect me in any way possibly as you say you are not in a stable relationship whilst I am married. Breastfeeding actually did not make my breasts any saggier than they already are! Lol I have always had large breasts and they arent the most pert around which made me very self conscious as I also thought I would never find a husband due to my breasts but luckily I found someone who loved me for who I was and I know there is someone the same for you out there if u havent already found him. So yeah basically breastfeeding did not make my breasts saggier they were just more empty after I had finished bf baby. Just a quick question if you were in a stable relationship would you still be thinking this way or do you think you would bf? X

 

[HBGirl]

BF won't change your breasts but it will change your baby's life.

 

[ericacaca]

Hi hun. Please don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. Yes, BF gives baby a good start, but there are thousands of FF babies that are thriving just as much.

Just remember - BF or not you will lactate after baby is born. So no matter what your boobies will feel a bit weird once he/she enters the world for a few days. See how you feel when baby is born - it is incredible how they know exactly where your milk is at just a few minutes old! xxx

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

I want to try BF and very much hope it will work out for my baby's health, bonding and also financial reasons.

I wanted to say that my boobs and nipples have always been big and my left nipple is a bit oddly shaped but my hubby thinks they're perfect. Don't underestimate future partners if they're the kind of person who would have an issue with something so normal you wouldn't want to be with them anyway .

 

[Amalee]

Hi Little Muffin, I know this isn't exactly what you're asking about, but I want you to know that anyone who thinks the shape/color/size of your breasts is important when deciding whether or not to date you is not someone you need in your life. Breasts come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are symmetrical, some aren't. Some women have AA boobs, some women have nipples that could fill a AA bra on their own. There isn't a right way for breasts to look. And to be honest, I think women are more concerned about the conditions of everyone's boobs than guys are - guys are usually just happy that you're letting them see what's under your shirt. A friend of mine has inverted nipples, and she had no idea that wasn't "normal" until her boyfriend asked her about them one day. It wasn't a complaint on his part, just curiosity, and they ended up getting married last year, so clearly it wasn't a problem.

When your boyfriend looked down at your nipples, he was probably just noticing that they've changed. There's nothing wrong with that, your body is going to keep changing during pregnancy... And it's going to keep changing after pregnancy. Sagging happens eventually whether you breastfeed or not. He probably wasn't bothered by it (unless he is extremely immature and has only dated supermodels with perfect bodies), he just noticed that something was different.

My husband has noticed that my boobs are bigger, my nipples (which I already thought were too large) are bigger, and one nipple is darkening more than the other. I have a stretch mark on my stomach already, which he was happy to point out to me I don't love these changes, but I know that they're part of a healthy pregnancy. I love that my husband can point them out and then give me a loving boob kiss! I love that he is excited to see my body change, because we know it means that my body is getting ready for the most exciting part of our lives thus far.

 

[AP]

Can't say they changed. In fact they looked bloody awesome when I was bfing, now they are just normal pre pregnancy again.

It's not "selfish". You have worried and that's ok.

I won't lie, I freaked out in my first pregnancy and said I wasn't going to do it. But she came 3 months early and I had no choice , I had to pump milk for months. In that situation you would do anything though. After 15 weeks i decides to use formula.

So with my second I thought, I'm gonna give this bf a go. And if it doesn't work, no pressure. I just want to be happy and enjoy my babies.

It all worked out, I bf for 8 months and with every week went by I was more proud and more confident.

So I promise you I'm not a crazy liar and my boobs didn't change. I did however lose the baby weight and more really fast with bf. That was one amazing perk

 

[Flake-y]

I haven't noticed much difference in my boobs tbh, maybe a bit drooping, but no stretch marks & nipples look the same. And I BF for 16 months so they were well used!

As others have said, it's pregnancy that changes your boobs rather than breastfeeding.

And BFing does reduce your chances of breast cancer so for the future that's something to think about.

 

[patch2006uk]

Same for me - pregnancy causes the changes, not BFing. My nipples have darkened during each pregnancy, but they've gone back to their original colouring afterwards.

Nourishing a baby completely using your body will probably make you see everything in a different light anyway. I was so in awe of my boobs during those early weeks and months of BFing! They kept a human alive, all by themselves!

Also, you can always introduce formula if you start out BFing. It's much harder to 'switch' to breastfeeding if you start out using formula and then regret it later on.

 

[ericacaca]

And BFing does reduce your chances of breast cancer so for the future that's something to think about.

I tend to not rely on that fact, the c word can get anybody. My Mum BF me and my brother until we were 6 months and she got it xxx

 

[patch2006uk]

And BFing does reduce your chances of breast cancer so for the future that's something to think about.

I tend to not rely on that fact, the c word can get anybody. My Mum BF me and my brother until we were 6 months and she got it xxx

It's true that breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer. Sadly, it doesn't eliminate it completely. Same as a non-smoker can get lung cancer, or a person who's never had sunburn can get skin cancer. It's about reducing risks, not eliminating them altogether.

Sorry about your mom

 

[AC1987]

I found pregnancy changed mine, for the better They're bigger now

I found bfing was a very alien feeling for me, I wasn't even sure if it was for me when i was pregnant with DD but I figured I'd try it out and see how it went, I gave myself 2 weeks and actually it wasn't as weird as I thought it'd be. I did introduce formula later too.. so you can always switch or combi feed, its up to you.

 

[x__amour]

I found that pregnancy, not BFing, changes your breasts. My nipples got larger to feed baby but after I stopped BFing they went back to normal, just stayed dark.

 

[Maxy1]

Pregnancy made my boobs much bigger strait off. They stayed large while BFing and then went down a bit when I stopped. But I was still larger afterwards. I don't think BFing changes the boobs per se. I couldn't say for sure but for most of our BFing I only used on breast and they both look 'normal' afterwards, one is a bit bigger for obvious reasons. Now I am prego again, they are massive again.

Don't make a decision about Bfing or not until your bubs arrives. Prepare for both. You never know how you will feel on the day or days following the arrival. So just learn about both.

 

[Sussy]

Mine went back to pre pregnancy look and I fed for 15months...I also went back to pre pregnancy weight with no effort as bf uses so many calories I literally ate like a horse!!

 

[supertabby]

Before my first pregnancy I had quite small pink nipples, not only did my boobs get bigger in pregnancy but my nipples went darker and bigger. This all happened during pregnancy - the only difference breastfeeding made was making them firmer (eg more pert! )

After I finished breastfeeding my nipples eventually went back to their pre-pregnancy state and while my boobs have not gone back to their original size (they did shrink a bit) they haven't sagged. And I'm 37!

Now I'm pregnant again they've gone bigger and darker again but I'm confident it won't be like that forever. I admit I hate my nipples being big and dark but my husband doesn't care, most men really don't care - they're just happy to be having sex lol! And some men prefer bigger nipples, I guess it's no different from me not being into hairy chests but some women love them. If you like each other enough to sleep together then that kind of thing won't matter anyway.

Another thought - after breastfeeding I was conscious about one boob being bigger than the other. Hubby hadn't noticed but then had a good look (lol) and said maybe he could see one was larger - he got the wrong one! It can't have been as bad as I thought!

 

[BigAl]

I BF for 16m, my boobs look exactly the same as pre pregnancy. Also made the weight fall off and then some.

But meh it's your decision, pros and cons to both BF and FF.