On the fence about breast/bottle feeding

[the why bird]

Mine went back to how they were before pregnancy. Including nipple size and colour.

My boobs are huge anyway and suffer the effects of gravity at the best of times! It hasn't stopped me having a good sex life.

No woman is magazine-cover perfect in every aspect. We all have bits we don't like. I understand, it's so hard feeling insecure about your body. Remember that in a few years, many of your peers will also have had babies, and that all bodies look different to begin with. Even if your boobs go saggy (and chances are they won't until you get older, when it happens to us all!) it does NOT mean you will end up alone. I promise, you are more than a pair of boobs. The right guy will value all of you - body, brain, personality.

Any guy who only wanted you for your perfect rack isn't the right guy. As we get older, ALL bodies change. Some of us get sick, or injured, or need surgery, and all of us age. Any guy who is only interested in someone with perfect titties is going to be a lonely old man because even supermodels don't stay that way forever.

P.S. Some guys think large/dark nipples are super sexy. If your boobs get less attractive to one guy, you can count on the fact that are getting even better in someone else's eyes.

I support whatever decision you feel is right for you and your baby - I would just hate to think you feel you have no choice because of insecurity. You deserve to feel beautiful and important.

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

Mine went back to how they were before pregnancy. Including nipple size and colour.

My boobs are huge anyway and suffer the effects of gravity at the best of times! It hasn't stopped me having a good sex life.

No woman is magazine-cover perfect in every aspect. We all have bits we don't like. I understand, it's so hard feeling insecure about your body. Remember that in a few years, many of your peers will also have had babies, and that all bodies look different to begin with. Even if your boobs go saggy (and chances are they won't until you get older, when it happens to us all!) it does NOT mean you will end up alone. I promise, you are more than a pair of boobs. The right guy will value all of you - body, brain, personality.

Any guy who only wanted you for your perfect rack isn't the right guy. As we get older, ALL bodies change. Some of us get sick, or injured, or need surgery, and all of us age. Any guy who is only interested in someone with perfect titties is going to be a lonely old man because even supermodels don't stay that way forever.

P.S. Some guys think large/dark nipples are super sexy. If your boobs get less attractive to one guy, you can count on the fact that are getting even better in someone else's eyes.

I support whatever decision you feel is right for you and your baby - I would just hate to think you feel you have no choice because of insecurity. You deserve to feel beautiful and important.

Perfect post!!!

I have mega size boobs too which have definitely started caving to gravities will but my hubby LOVES them especially now they're getting even bigger in pregnancy.

 

[hopettc3]

Hi! I've had two babies and with my first I had a horrible time trying to bf so I stopped trying after 2 months. With my second, I was able to bf for 7 months. Both times my breast went back to what they were like before pregnancy including size and color of areolas!

 

[Little Muffin]

Thank you everyone. Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I'm usually not on for a long enough time to check back to this thread.

I go through periods where I freak out about what could potentially happen. I know there will be some permanent changes and I'm willing to face them all. Even a saggy belly and stretch marks. But I've always had the breast insecurity and it's one fear I can't seem to get over .

I do really want to breast feed and thats probably what I will do, because I do value the babies health and nurition over my insecurities. I just over think and get really worried about it at times.
My boyfriend tells me he doesn't care and thinks I'm perfect. But I know he also wouldn't straight up say if he didn't like them.. Lol.
I will re read your wonderful replies everytime I get upset or worried about this.
Thank you all so much.

 

[the why bird]

Thank you everyone. Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I'm usually not on for a long enough time to check back to this thread.

I go through periods where I freak out about what could potentially happen. I know there will be some permanent changes and I'm willing to face them all. Even a saggy belly and stretch marks. But I've always had the breast insecurity and it's one fear I can't seem to get over .

I do really want to breast feed and thats probably what I will do, because I do value the babies health and nurition over my insecurities. I just over think and get really worried about it at times.
My boyfriend tells me he doesn't care and thinks I'm perfect. But I know he also wouldn't straight up say if he didn't like them.. Lol.
I will re read your wonderful replies everytime I get upset or worried about this.
Thank you all so much.

I wish I could give you a hug. I totally get it. For me, it's the extra skin on my tummy that makes me feel insecure. Pretty sure my other half doesn't even notice, but it sucks to feel down about the way you look.

None of us really know how our bodies will change with pregnancy and feeding, but we're all doing something amazing, and we're all in it together.

 

[geordie_gal]

FTM here also.
I always said from the off I didn't want to BF, in my eyes my body hasn't been my own for 9 months.
Ive handed it over to my womb raider and ive put on nearly 40lb, belly covered in stretch marks and generally its made my self confidence take a nose dive.
I said that I would do the first feed but after that I would be formula feeding.
I want my body back.
I want to be able to have a drink if I fancy one, and I want to be able to eat rare steak and unpasteurized cheese and take ibuprofen if I want too.
I want to diet. HARD. I know that BF 'helps get your figure back' yadda yadda, people keep telling me this.
I know the diet I've done before was ridiculously hard hitting and strict for 4 weeks (about 600 cals a day) but after that I just ate healthily and the weight stayed off.
I get married, 8 weeks from now and I want to feel confident and skinny.
I don't want to be having to go and BF at intervals during my wedding.
I want my OH to be able to help with feeds and idea of pumping - I hate the thought of turning myself into a cow.
I always said I would do the first feed though. And who knows, maybe I'll change my mind.
Don't feel bad for whatever you decide. x

 

[patch2006uk]

Just to say, you can drink and eat rare meat and unpasteurised cheese if you bf. you can also take ibruprofen (just avoid aspirin).

BFing also requires more calories per day than pregnancy, so it certainly can help with weight control (although it's not a universal guaranty-some women can't lose weight while feeding and others gain)

 

[Irish Eyes]

Being 100% honest with you, I will be bfing again because of how much better it made my body look! It was solely down to bfing that I lost all my pregnancy weight and an extra 7lbs. My boobs got 2 sizes bigger in the first trimester, stayed that way whilst feeding and then went back to normal when I stopped. Any changes with my nipples happened when I was pregnant but went back to normal again.

I completely get the worry about appearance, I hate that I'm bigger second time round. But bfing was a miracle for me losing weight!

 

[minties]

I have breastfed for a total of 31 months and my breasts look exactly the same as before I was ever pregnant, just a little larger.

And I've never heard of not being able to eat cheeses and rare beef? I think that's a myth, or a pregnancy related thing.

 

[the why bird]

I want to diet. HARD. I know that BF 'helps get your figure back' yadda yadda, people keep telling me this.
I know the diet I've done before was ridiculously hard hitting and strict for 4 weeks (about 600 cals a day) but after that I just ate healthily and the weight stayed off.

I don't mean to be negative about your plans, but 600 cals a day with a newborn is going to be incredibly brutal on your body. It's not a healthy thing to do at the best of time, but with a baby you're going to be so exhausted, recovering from labour and awash with hormones. Please don't make yourself poorly right before your wedding.

 

[I Love Lucy]

Other than my boobs growing a couple of cup sizes which happened in pregnancy and once my milk came in I haven't noticed any changes in my breasts appearance and I"ve been breastfeeding for nearly 10 months now.

I think I read an article somewhere that said you're most likely to notice saggy breasts and stuff if you have larger boobs to begin with. I was a B cup pre-pregnancy and am now a D cup so maybe that's why I really don't notice much of a difference other than the size.

 

[I Love Lucy]

FTM here also.
I always said from the off I didn't want to BF, in my eyes my body hasn't been my own for 9 months.
Ive handed it over to my womb raider and ive put on nearly 40lb, belly covered in stretch marks and generally its made my self confidence take a nose dive.
I said that I would do the first feed but after that I would be formula feeding.
I want my body back.
I want to be able to have a drink if I fancy one, and I want to be able to eat rare steak and unpasteurized cheese and take ibuprofen if I want too.
I want to diet. HARD. I know that BF 'helps get your figure back' yadda yadda, people keep telling me this.
I know the diet I've done before was ridiculously hard hitting and strict for 4 weeks (about 600 cals a day) but after that I just ate healthily and the weight stayed off.
I get married, 8 weeks from now and I want to feel confident and skinny.
I don't want to be having to go and BF at intervals during my wedding.
I want my OH to be able to help with feeds and idea of pumping - I hate the thought of turning myself into a cow.
I always said I would do the first feed though. And who knows, maybe I'll change my mind.
Don't feel bad for whatever you decide. x

I'm not criticizing your desire to formula feed because every mother has the right to make her own decisions with her child. But you seem to be misinformed about breastfeeding. You can eat rare steak and whatever else you fancy. You can also have a drink when you want one. It's just best to pump so you have breastmilk to offer or supplement with formula until the alcohol has left your body. Or if you just have one drink, wait a couple hours and you should be good to go. As for pumping, you don't have to do that. You can supplement with formula if you have to return to work or if you're SAHM you can just offer the breast. I never pump.

 

[sarah34]

I think just see what happens when little one is here. I have never been someone thay wants to breastfeed for a long time, purely because i was other people to be able to help feed my baby. I do however feel that i want to do the first few feeds before your proper milk comes in. Personally i am hoping to bf for at least a few days maybe a week, then go on to formula. I think too many ppl get hung up on this, just do what feels right for you and baby. If you try it when baby is born and dont like it switch to formula. Surely formula cannot be that bad for babies, look how many people use formula! Xx

 

[MommyBirdie]

I breast fed for about 6 months and my breasts pretty much returned to normal. I'm sure it is different for everybody. You just need to do what is best for you and your baby. Good luck

 

[Bex84]

I breast fed for 22 months and my breasts were back to normal i was also back in pre pregnancy clothes 2 weeks after birth and got muscle tone back quick. Do what makes you happy but dont worry about things going back to normal

 

[chulie]

FTM here also.
I always said from the off I didn't want to BF, in my eyes my body hasn't been my own for 9 months.
Ive handed it over to my womb raider and ive put on nearly 40lb, belly covered in stretch marks and generally its made my self confidence take a nose dive.
I said that I would do the first feed but after that I would be formula feeding.
I want my body back.
I want to be able to have a drink if I fancy one, and I want to be able to eat rare steak and unpasteurized cheese and take ibuprofen if I want too.
I want to diet. HARD. I know that BF 'helps get your figure back' yadda yadda, people keep telling me this.
I know the diet I've done before was ridiculously hard hitting and strict for 4 weeks (about 600 cals a day) but after that I just ate healthily and the weight stayed off.
I get married, 8 weeks from now and I want to feel confident and skinny.
I don't want to be having to go and BF at intervals during my wedding.
I want my OH to be able to help with feeds and idea of pumping - I hate the thought of turning myself into a cow.
I always said I would do the first feed though. And who knows, maybe I'll change my mind.
Don't feel bad for whatever you decide. x

Uhmmm....I'm taking the whole breastfeeding thing out but....I think you have very unrealistic expectations "post baby"....You can't even work out for the first 6 weeks.....a lot of new mom's generally don't eat much so I won't comment on the 600 cals thing..hahaha..because I think I lived on coffee for a while....but....just your post comes across SO harsh on yourself...I REALLY would worry that you have expectations that will never be met. You can diet all you want but the elasticity in your skin is at it's own pace and it takes time for things to go back to the way they were....regardless of how hard you work out or how little you eat. Unless you were hardcore into fitness before baby and have serious muscle memory (I had a friend who was a fitness model....we're talking 6 pack...hardcore competitor...at 4 months post baby our bodies looked VERY different!!!).....You can actually do much more damage to your body than you realize...I remember trying to do a "light" workout at 4 weeks post baby and I was keeled over in back pain for 3 days as a result.....and I was a runner.....so as a mom myself who went through basically text book labour and was up and moving an hour later with no tearing......my advice...just take it day by day....

 

[kung_pao mama]

I know you said you didn't want to be harped on, but that is a silly reason not to breastfeed. I'm truly not trying to be snarky, but You're dating the wrong men if they aren't attracted to you because of your nipples! My tummy is still quite flabby from pregnancy and I am ultra concerned about it, but my husband finds me sexier than ever.

I am still currently bfing so i'm not sure what sort of changes i am in for once i stop, but honestly, so far, my boobs look better than ever. I also was pretty self conscious about my large areolas prepregnancy. Theyre not getting any bigger, but for now, my breasts are a lot bigger and it actually makes them look smaller. That being said, they will probably be gross and saggy one day and I have come to terms with that. Remember, It happens to everyone at some point.

Good luck, dear.

 

[mel28nicole]

The only thing that gets me about breastfeeding is the possibility of the baby not latching on/not producing enough milk. When my mother had me, so tried so hard to get me to breastfeed, and I just wasn't having (I told her it was because I'm not a lesbian LOL!) But still, my mom felt awful that she couldn't get me to breastfeed and felt like a terrible mother. But it wasn't her fault at all.

My one friend just had a baby. She was fine the first week and then she wasn't producing enough and the baby was getting frustrated. She was only being able to do 1 oz and ended up giving formula for the other 2 oz she wanted.

I would like to try, knowing breast milk is the best thing for them. But if I run into these obstacles, there's not much I can do, just give them formula.

 

[RaspberryK]

The only thing that gets me about breastfeeding is the possibility of the baby not latching on/not producing enough milk. When my mother had me, so tried so hard to get me to breastfeed, and I just wasn't having (I told her it was because I'm not a lesbian LOL!) But still, my mom felt awful that she couldn't get me to breastfeed and felt like a terrible mother. But it wasn't her fault at all.

My one friend just had a baby. She was fine the first week and then she wasn't producing enough and the baby was getting frustrated. She was only being able to do 1 oz and ended up giving formula for the other 2 oz she wanted.

I would like to try, knowing breast milk is the best thing for them. But if I run into these obstacles, there's not much I can do, just give them formula.

Most breastfeeding problems come from lack of information and education and lots of misinformation.
If you can get to a breastfeeding group it really helps.
And to read up on normal newborn breastfeeding behaviour.
Xx

 

[mel28nicole]

Most breastfeeding problems come from lack of information and education and lots of misinformation.
If you can get to a breastfeeding group it really helps.
And to read up on normal newborn breastfeeding behaviour.
Xx

I am not misinformed. I have read. Thanks. I wouldn't tell my stories as to why I'm nervous about breastfeeding if it wasn't true. Stuff like this does happen, no matter how "informed" you are