"Only female volunteers over 18 can change diapers"....

[lozzy21]

My OH has the same instincts as me, from day one he's played an active roll and done everything I have done minus breast feeding.

 

[My_First]

^^^ same as.

 

[robinator]

But it isn't about instincts and ability to change diapers, it's about avoiding a situation in which an accusation could be flung. Unfair to 99.9% of men? Yes, but like I said earlier, the church is covering it's ass. Sure, there are female peds out there, but they are the minority (another reason why no one but the parent changes diapers in my church).

 

[bubbles123]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

 

[Banshee]

Sorry, I don't know how to post links from my iPhone but I just looked into what I said earlier regarding low numbers of male primary school teachers and there was an article on the BBC last year saying one in four primary schools in England has no male teachers although they are increasing at the mo.
I'd also add that I really think anyone who thinks this is a gender issue rather than a safeguarding one should read the Serious Case Review overview report for Little Ted's Nursery in Plymouth. You can google it.

 

[robinator]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

Surely you're not blaming that on a church or daycare and it's diaper policies?

IMO, not allowing people to change diapers does not cause unhealthy relationships or feeling removed. Church is 1.5 hours, once a week, not all day every day. I don't see how the two relate. If someone is feeling that way, surely it's more of a deeper, personal issue than a diaper policy?

I volunteer once a month, so the other 3 Sundays I drop my daughter off and don't interact with her for that amount of time. Yet I don't feel removed or disconnected from her, iykwim.

 

[jd83]

I'm kinda torn with how I feel on this one. On the one hand, I can completely understand the rationale, as I was molested by the teenage son of the preacher of the church we attended when I was a kid. Everyone viewed him as the "helpful, friendly" son of the preacher, no one ever would have suspected him as the type to molest, but then that is generally the case with paedophiles. So for that reason, I can totally get where they are coming from with trying to avoid any situation where that might occur.

On the other hand, now having two sons of my own, it makes me incredibly sad to know what hardships they will have growing up to be viewed as potential paedophiles if they show any interest in children, even if its completely innocent. I even feel sad for my hubby, because there have been times I have had to warn him against doing things that might appear weird to paranoid moms, like playing with other kids other than our own at playgroups.

 

[Missy86]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

I totally agree

When Rhys was in nursery the area where nappies was changed was open so everyone could see what was going on. I have no issues with males or females changing nappies or working in child care
Little boys need role models that's probably part of the reasons education is falling them

 

[leahtaba]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

I'm a trainee primary school teacher so I have worked in a fair few primary schools and I have yet to go to one that doesn't have at least one male member of staff... albeit they all tend to work with the older kids, not with with to 4-7 year olds...
Also on my course there are about 10 men in my year group alone. There are more in the other year groups and in other universities... male teachers are on the rise in primary schools!!

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

I'm not sure on this one... I might be ok with him taking care of the kids as there will be other members of staff around him, so really he wouldn't be alone. But the nappy changes... erm nope!! Slightly o/t but when I registered at my local hospital for the birth the one question I specifically asked was do you have any male midwifes... they said yes... i said please put in my notes that I do not want him taking care of me when in labour. I'm sure he was a lovely chap but I didn't want him looking at my girly bits or shoving his hand up there. Looking back on it now i'm glad I requested this because even when I wasn't pushing LO out my downstairs were on show alot and I would have freaked if a man (other than DH) was in the room!

...back to the male child care worker, LOs gender doesn't make a difference to me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with some bloke dealing with my LOs bits and pieces!!

I totally respect that some people don't want to be examined by a man. However I don't understand it. I am assuming its because its the opposite sex and one would be concerned about them thinking more than just a patient? (I am guessing by the way, so do correct me if I'm wrong). If that was the case, would it be the same if the midwife was a lesbian? Do you think she should have to declare her sexual orientation?

Please don't think I'm getting at you, I am genuinely curious.

I don't know, I just don't feel comfortable with men and 'down there'. Like when I go for a smear I request a female doctor. If there was an emergency when I was in labour and a doctor had to come and assist and he happened to be male then fair enough, if he's going to save my and my LOs life then that's fine. But for a normal problem-free labour... if you have a penis you're not welcome!
Maybe it's because men never experience pregnancy/childbirth so it's like you haven't got a clue, how can you possibly look after me/comfort me. I don't know, maybe it's irrational or stupid of me but i'm just not ok with it. I've always wondered why one earth a man would want to specialise in dealing with lady parts... I mean if I was to become a doctor I wouldn't wake up one day and be like I want to study mens bits etc etc...

With LOs bum changes, maybe it's because women have that natural maternal, take-care-of-child instinct that men don't? Dunno.

Sorry to chime in bur can i just point out that not all midwives have kids so in that respect not all the female midwives 'have a clue' what youre going through either.

And i also dont think thay midwiffery is 'specialising in lady bits' :s soooo much more too it than that.

 

[bubbles123]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

Surely you're not blaming that on a church or daycare and it's diaper policies?

Indirectly, yes. It suggests men can't be trusted or can't control themselves when they are alone with a child but women can. Means you create a culture of suspicion around men and their motives around children which men pick up on, which then makes them nervous of putting themselves in situations with young children.

 

[jd83]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

I totally agree

When Rhys was in nursery the area where nappies was changed was open so everyone could see what was going on. I have no issues with males or females changing nappies or working in child care
Little boys need role models that's probably part of the reasons education is falling them

I like this solution. I would feel much more comfortable with the whole situation if its completely open, no hiding behind closed doors. That would still allow for males to help.

 

[robinator]

Makes me so sad that 99.9% of men have to be judged for the behaviour of a tiny, tiny minority. Excluding men makes it considerably more likely that you will cause problems in the future in my opinion. Men become removed from children, less used to them and more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with them. My husband always feels uncomfy in children's play areas and will only go if I there. It's so sad. I have no issue with males who have passed back ground checks in nurseries etc changing my children or with male relatives doing it.

Surely you're not blaming that on a church or daycare and it's diaper policies?

Indirectly, yes. It suggests men can't be trusted or can't control themselves when they are alone with a child but women can. Means you create a culture of suspicion around men and their motives around children which men pick up on, which then makes them nervous of putting themselves in situations with young children.

Okay, I can understand that from a diaper changing policy, but for a man to feel uncomfortable in a childs play area might suggest he's just uncomfortable around small children. Hey, I was until I had my LO. Nothing wrong with that, but I didn't go placing blame. It was just the way I was, nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm still uncomfortable around toddlers because I haven't experienced that stage yet; she's still a baby

 

[preggymammy]

I think that anyone who was volunteering to work with the children should be criminal record checked and there should be precautions in place such as working in pairs etc rather than there being a blanket ban on males. I do wonder if it is even legal but I really don't know.
There are many theories as to why there are statistically more male sex offenders than females but also the possibility of under reporting of offences by females because if societal views that women are not 'capable' or 'inclined' to commit this type of offence yet anyone who is aware of the Little Teds Nursery case in Plymouth will know this is not the case.
I find it very sad that attitudes towards men working with children push some very good men away from this work and has lead to the UK having a serious issue with having no male teachers in some primary schools where it would be beneficial to children to have positive male role models as well as female ones.
Anyway to sum up, I definitely feel there should be safeguarding rules in place for everyone rather than blanket bans on one gender.

I'm a trainee primary school teacher so I have worked in a fair few primary schools and I have yet to go to one that doesn't have at least one male member of staff... albeit they all tend to work with the older kids, not with with to 4-7 year olds...
Also on my course there are about 10 men in my year group alone. There are more in the other year groups and in other universities... male teachers are on the rise in primary schools!!

I think its terrible, we had a male play group worker work with us at the play group and he was fantastic. He was only 17 but was great with ths kids. If any parents had issues with him changing their children's nappys they were told to look for another nursery.

Yes there are more male paedophiles than women but male paedophiles tend to prefer older children and young teenagers. It tends to be women that abuse younger babys and toddlers.

I'm not sure on this one... I might be ok with him taking care of the kids as there will be other members of staff around him, so really he wouldn't be alone. But the nappy changes... erm nope!! Slightly o/t but when I registered at my local hospital for the birth the one question I specifically asked was do you have any male midwifes... they said yes... i said please put in my notes that I do not want him taking care of me when in labour. I'm sure he was a lovely chap but I didn't want him looking at my girly bits or shoving his hand up there. Looking back on it now i'm glad I requested this because even when I wasn't pushing LO out my downstairs were on show alot and I would have freaked if a man (other than DH) was in the room!

...back to the male child care worker, LOs gender doesn't make a difference to me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with some bloke dealing with my LOs bits and pieces!!

I totally respect that some people don't want to be examined by a man. However I don't understand it. I am assuming its because its the opposite sex and one would be concerned about them thinking more than just a patient? (I am guessing by the way, so do correct me if I'm wrong). If that was the case, would it be the same if the midwife was a lesbian? Do you think she should have to declare her sexual orientation?

Please don't think I'm getting at you, I am genuinely curious.

I don't know, I just don't feel comfortable with men and 'down there'. Like when I go for a smear I request a female doctor. If there was an emergency when I was in labour and a doctor had to come and assist and he happened to be male then fair enough, if he's going to save my and my LOs life then that's fine. But for a normal problem-free labour... if you have a penis you're not welcome!
Maybe it's because men never experience pregnancy/childbirth so it's like you haven't got a clue, how can you possibly look after me/comfort me. I don't know, maybe it's irrational or stupid of me but i'm just not ok with it. I've always wondered why one earth a man would want to specialise in dealing with lady parts... I mean if I was to become a doctor I wouldn't wake up one day and be like I want to study mens bits etc etc...

With LOs bum changes, maybe it's because women have that natural maternal, take-care-of-child instinct that men don't? Dunno.

Sorry to chime in bur can i just point out that not all midwives have kids so in that respect not all the female midwives 'have a clue' what youre going through either.

And i also dont think thay midwiffery is 'specialising in lady bits' :s soooo much more too it than that.

I was being more general than midwifery with this comment... ie doctors that specialise in that stuff... obstetricians/gynaes... that sort of thing.

Anyway, I am well aware that not all midwifes have had kids but that doesn't make me feel any less comfortable with them. It's up to me who I want in the delivery room... surely my comfort and confidence in those looking after me is most important.

Anyway... that's going off topic.

 

[beth_terri]

KI don't even think only men are paranoid tbh. I myself am really awkward around other peoples kids as I always think they might wonder 'what's that woman doing near my kid'. Lol. Guess its just society now!

But I suppose you need to ask, in a nursery say, would you be happy with a male nursery nurse changing your childs nappy?

 

[Missy86]

Just to add my midwife with Liam was male, he did all the pre natal and post natal stuff and was brill

 

[beth_terri]

Although after writing that Ive just thought, we wouldn't be bothered if our child was in the hands of a male Dr/nurse so why would a man changing nappies be a problem. Hmm

 

[discoclare]

Do all the carers who change diapers have to have a criminal record check and is the changing area semi-open? (sorry I haven't read all the replies, this may have been asked and answered). if yes, I wouldn't have an issue with a male carer changing diapers, in fact I did not have a problem with it since I have experience. my DD1 has a male carer in her class at nursery and he changes nappies and helps potty training toddlers with the potty. he is background checked the same as everyone else in the job and the changing and toilet room has a open entrance and the changing mat area is all open plan. I never had any concerns.

 

[robinator]

KI don't even think only men are paranoid tbh. I myself am really awkward around other peoples kids as I always think they might wonder 'what's that woman doing near my kid'. Lol. Guess its just society now!
But I suppose you need to ask, in a nursery say, would you be happy with a male nursery nurse changing your childs nappy?

Sad, but true. A little boy was on a collision course with Lane and I reached out and touched him on the head to avoid the collision; gently touched his hair. My first thought was, is his mom going to flip her lid on me?

 

[preggymammy]

Although after writing that Ive just thought, we wouldn't be bothered if our child was in the hands of a male Dr/nurse so why would a man changing nappies be a problem. Hmm

I suppose it's because due to safeguarding etc doctors/nurses are never alone with children. There's always someone else in the room if you're not. Like if LO was having an operation or something, the room would be filled with people. If nappy changing was going on in a nursery setting or something similar i'd hope that it would be done in pairs and not with the person alone with the child... male or female. But i suppose we're not there so can't be sure what's taking place...?? Just a thought xx

 

[beth_terri]

KI don't even think only men are paranoid tbh. I myself am really awkward around other peoples kids as I always think they might wonder 'what's that woman doing near my kid'. Lol. Guess its just society now!
But I suppose you need to ask, in a nursery say, would you be happy with a male nursery nurse changing your childs nappy?

Sad, but true. A little boy was on a collision course with Lane and I reached out and touched him on the head to avoid the collision; gently touched his hair. My first thought was, is his mom going to flip her lid on me?

Its sad isn't it. In school some mornings the children ask me to help take their jumpers off and I'm awkwardly doing it but thinking to myself am I allowed to do this as its not my child!