"Only female volunteers over 18 can change diapers"....

[marron]

I havent read all of this but what offends me is that such a sign reinforces any fear we have about men abusing our children, when there are plenty of other ways around it.
People could change their own babies, or do it in pairs etc.

Well, you know, it's only men, and no normal man is going to want to mess with a dirty diaper or hang out with kids. Those who do must have a hidden agenda!!

 

[bookreader]

I havent read all of this but what offends me is that such a sign reinforces any fear we have about men abusing our children, when there are plenty of other ways around it.
People could change their own babies, or do it in pairs etc.

Maybe the OP could let the children's minister at her church know the sign could be taken as offensive, and would they consider changing their policy to pairs or parents only, or rewording the sign?

Because honestly, whoever came up with it probably had no idea how it could be taken.

If it were me i think this is what i would do. I think for some people, signs like this 'confirm' their fears if you know what i mean. "If they are not allowed to change the nappies, there must be a reason" may be a thought for some.

And yes, perhaps they did not mean to cause offense at all.

 

[Tasha]

I suppose it's because due to safeguarding etc doctors/nurses are never alone with children. There's always someone else in the room if you're not. Like if LO was having an operation or something, the room would be filled with people. If nappy changing was going on in a nursery setting or something similar i'd hope that it would be done in pairs and not with the person alone with the child... male or female. But i suppose we're not there so can't be sure what's taking place...?? Just a thought xx

My Mum is a paed nurse in a hospital, she is allowed to be lone with a child. They dont have the staffing to always be in pairs.

Are male care home assistants not allowed to change adult nappies because far more men are found guilty of sexual assault than women on average? Genuine question

Slightly different but my husband worked in a home for young adults with learning difficulties. The men could only do personal care for the males and the women for the females.

You're assuming your boys would want to change diapers for a living.

Pretty sure no one wants to change diapers for a living, it just happens to be one of the crappy parts (literally ) of a rewarding job.

My personal thoughts are that gender doesnt matter at all. I worked as a nursery nurse in my life before children and the men I worked with were sometimes met with suspsicion, even by other staff members. One man who I become good friends with was openly asked why at seventeen did he want to work with young children as its not normal? Yet I was seventeen and no one asked me the same thing. He admitted to me he was scared of people thinking the worst of him. Ironically he was one of the best carers there and the people that asked him those sorts of questions were less than satisfactory.

 

[bookreader]

I havent read all of this but what offends me is that such a sign reinforces any fear we have about men abusing our children, when there are plenty of other ways around it.
People could change their own babies, or do it in pairs etc.

Maybe the OP could let the children's minister at her church know the sign could be taken as offensive, and would they consider changing their policy to pairs or parents only, or rewording the sign?

Because honestly, whoever came up with it probably had no idea how it could be taken.

If it were me i think this is what i would do. I think for some people, signs like this 'confirm' their fears if you know what i mean. "If they are not allowed to change the nappies, there must be a reason" may be a thought for some.

And yes, perhaps they did not mean to cause offense at all.

Just quoting myself as looking at my original post as where i said there were plenty other ways around it, i meant ways around having the nappies changed. such as in pairs etc.

It doesnt read well.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I work in aged care and in this country it's the same, men can't change women's adult nappies, but women can change both. (Unless the male has asked for a same-sex carer.) Not clear on showering policy but I imagine it's the same.

I agree with this policy. A childminder is in a position of trust. These are the people that look after your child. Same as a male relative. I wouldn't take the chance, given the stats on pedophiles who were already known to the child.

Wanna know why? I was looked after as a child by my maternal grandfather, nearly every day. That same grandfather turned around and molested me when I was 6, then again when I was 14 and 15 as I never said anything as a child. I didn't know it was wrong back then. Would a child in a nursery? Would they say anything? I don't know. If I didn't, my child may be the same and never say anything either.

So, I don't mind that there's a blanket ban in this case. Sad but necessary.

Just my two cents.

 

[deafgal]

I noticed this sign at my church today. I get the "over 18", I don't think teenagers should be changing diapers. But the "only females"? I know our world is really weird and you can never be too safe, and men tend to be the "pedophiles" more often than women, but isn't this a bit discriminatory? Or are they allowed to say something like this without repercussion because, as a church, it's "private"?

Just wondering what everyone thinks. I'm not going to say anything to them about it, or anything.

At the zoo today after church, we stopped at a playground and my brother (24 yrs old) happened to sit on a bench by himself away from us. After a few mins, he got up and sat next to me and said "I don't wanna look like a pedophile in my dark sunglasses by myself staring at the playground". Completely teasing him, I said "Only pedophiles think that way" and he said "trust me, all men think this way. No one wants to be accused because our world is so messed up about stuff like this, nothing is innocent anymore".

It reminded me of the sign. What do you ladies think?

personally, I know there are molestions in churches and I guess it was their way to protect themselves....but I also grew up in a strict fundamental baptist where modesty is taken seriously. girls had to wear dresses. even babies. and "only female....." rule sounds so much like something they would do.

 

[Mummy Bean]

Perhaps it not so much a gender discrimanation from the church....but more so in response to the heaps of bad press chruches have git recently in relation to child abuse. maybe in this instance are they literally just covering themselves against any negativity...but just a thought.

 

[bookworm0901]

A few pps have mentioned the whole 'appearance of evil' thing and my church definitely does this. Actually they recently mentioned that, as a rule, non married male and female staff members are never alone together. They don't think affairs will run rampant if they don't have the rule, they just don't even want to go there with the 'appearance' and rumors and such. By making it not allowed, it's a non issue.

 

[xdxxtx]

I don't think this needs to be done at all. I being to a support group for people who have been sexually abused as children because I WAS, and I know plenty of people who were actually molested by WOMEN including ME!! I think it doesn't matter which sex is changing a diaper, and yes there are plenty of men and boys out there who want to be parents just as much as girls and women do and would not mind changing a diaper and would love to be close to a baby for THAT reason - not for anything sexual. I worry about everyone, knowing all that I know and being through what I've been through. So, regardless of what age and sex someone is, there should be other adults around them when taking care of children/babies so they can watch each other and make sure nothing is going on.

 

[maisie78]

Your story reminded me of a time last year before we had Gabriella whenmy oh was walking through our small town centre and saw a little boy crying because he'd lost his mum. No one was stopping to help him but my oh was so afraid of being accused of anything that he went in to a shop and got a female member of staff to come out and tend to the boy rather than approach him. Unfortunately men in our times do have to think this way, especially with all the child abuse stories coming out in the British press recently. It doesn't make it any less sad though when a loving responsible man like my oh is too afraid to approach a lost crying child

 

[beth_terri]

Your story reminded me of a time last year before we had Gabriella whenmy oh was walking through our small town centre and saw a little boy crying because he'd lost his mum. No one was stopping to help him but my oh was so afraid of being accused of anything that he went in to a shop and got a female member of staff to come out and tend to the boy rather than approach him. Unfortunately men in our times do have to think this way, especially with all the child abuse stories coming out in the British press recently. It doesn't make it any less sad though when a loving responsible man like my oh is too afraid to approach a lost crying child

Thats really sad

 

[Hunbun]

Some of these stories are so sad. I didn't realise men felt like this because I wouldn't think twice if there was a man in the playpark or if it was a man stopping to help my LO if he were lost.

When I asked my DH how he felt he agreed he wouldn't go to the play park with LO unless I was there. Its just so sad.

As for the church notice in the OP, although I'm sure they have their reasons for putting such a sign up. I would personally be offended about it, so I can only imagine how the male members feel. I think its an unfair and reinforces these feelings men have of constant suspicion from members of the public.