"Only female volunteers over 18 can change diapers"....

[Banshee]

I am kinda lost in this discussion as I don't feel I would allow one gender or another to look after my child unless there were appropriate safeguards in place. When ds1 started at nursery I asked about their nappy changing procedures even though all the staff are women as I don't put unquestioned trust in anyone I don't trust 100% looking after my child (though I know that children are far more likely to be harmed by someone they know than a stranger). I know I sound like a broken record but i really do feel that it is about the safeguarding procedures that are in place to protect the children, not the gender of the individual.

 

[bumpy_j]

I am kinda lost in this discussion as I don't feel I would allow one gender or another to look after my child unless there were appropriate safeguards in place. When ds1 started at nursery I asked about their nappy changing procedures even though all the staff are women as I don't put unquestioned trust in anyone I don't trust 100% looking after my child (though I know that children are far more likely to be harmed by someone they know than a stranger). I know I sound like a broken record but i really do feel that it is about the safeguarding procedures that are in place to protect the children, not the gender of the individual.

Exactly

 

[jenniferttc1]

I feel like a jerk saying it, but I'm on the side of women changing diapers only. Ill be politically incorrect and hurt a nice guys feelings, if it also keeps the creeps away and saves my LO from being harmed.

Edited: obviously not babies fathers and well trusted men (I trust my brother). Just talking about this daycare situation.

Women can be creeps too.

the chances are far greater of men abusing children than women. that's not to say it never happens. but that wouldn't change my, or i think PP, view on not letting a male change LOs diaper.

Fair enough. It just breaks my heart knowing that one day my little boy is going to be painted with the pedo brush by people, that he's not going to be able to go into teaching young children or be an OBGYN without being questioned about his motives. Because clearly the only reason men choose those fields is because they're sleazes.

my OBGYN is a male, and i don't think he's a sleeze and i don't think all men are creeps or molesters. but when it comes to my child, i will be overly cautious. i am his mother, it's my job to protect him. and if that means not letting a man change his diaper or not letting a man babysit him, then that's what i will do.

(**before anyone attacks, i'm not saying mothers that let men watch their children don't protect their kids.**)

But how would you feel is your son grew up, and people automatically threw up caution signs that he has a penis, so he could be a child molester or cause any harm? As a mom to a boy, I find it frightening. They always get the short end of the stick, ALWAYS. Men cheat, men lie, men steal, men abuse, men sexually assult children, men don't have as much right in their childrens life to make big decisions..... I don't know about ya'll but I've never met a woman that was a saint. And plenty of women are disgusting human beings. I mean the whole world is pretty equal, or trying to achieve it between races, sex partners, but we can't even be equal between male and female? The solution is not eliminating males from this, but to stick with the buddy system. Male or female, there should ALWAYS be a buddy when handling diapers, or anything that has to do with getting undressed.

 

[Banshee]

Just to add, even when I was at my dad's church over Christmas and they took the children off for the children's liturgy I actually asked my dad if they were criminal records bureau checked even though my own children were not there.

 

[Missy86]

I feel like a jerk saying it, but I'm on the side of women changing diapers only. Ill be politically incorrect and hurt a nice guys feelings, if it also keeps the creeps away and saves my LO from being harmed.

Edited: obviously not babies fathers and well trusted men (I trust my brother). Just talking about this daycare situation.

Women can be creeps too.

the chances are far greater of men abusing children than women. that's not to say it never happens. but that wouldn't change my, or i think PP, view on not letting a male change LOs diaper.

Fair enough. It just breaks my heart knowing that one day my little boy is going to be painted with the pedo brush by people, that he's not going to be able to go into teaching young children or be an OBGYN without being questioned about his motives. Because clearly the only reason men choose those fields is because they're sleazes.

my OBGYN is a male, and i don't think he's a sleeze and i don't think all men are creeps or molesters. but when it comes to my child, i will be overly cautious. i am his mother, it's my job to protect him. and if that means not letting a man change his diaper or not letting a man babysit him, then that's what i will do.

(**before anyone attacks, i'm not saying mothers that let men watch their children don't protect their kids.**)

But how would you feel is your son grew up, and people automatically threw up caution signs that he has a penis, so he could be a child molester or cause any harm? As a mom to a boy, I find it frightening. They always get the short end of the stick, ALWAYS. Men cheat, men lie, men steal, men abuse, men sexually assult children, men don't have as much right in their childrens life to make big decisions..... I don't know about ya'll but I've never met a woman that was a saint. And plenty of women are disgusting human beings. I mean the whole world is pretty equal, or trying to achieve it between races, sex partners, but we can't even be equal between male and female? The solution is not eliminating males from this, but to stick with the buddy system. Male or female, there should ALWAYS be a buddy when handling diapers, or anything that has to do with getting undressed.

 

[Randianne]

I agree with jenniferttc. I'd rather my LO have her diaper changed by a man with another adult present then a woman alone. The buddy system will do more to prevent molestation then gender discrimination.

 

[Mummy Bean]

My dad is now a manger of nursery, and has worked in the room with children for over 15yrs. Over his time he experienced all sorts of feedback from women being thrilled that there children have a male role model in there life (he worked in a nursery for those on special watch list and most were from single parent families), to women claiming he had tried to steal there children (all completly disprovern and sadly was discovered it was the step dad of the child). he had parents praise him and reject him...he been called dirty and perverted simply for wanting to work with children...yet anyone who has ever met him will out rightly say he is brilliant with kids. he current place require all staff to be crb checked, that no child should be left with any adult on there own, and cctv is around the nursery. He bought me up on his own and did and a fine job...i even had a male nanny for a short while.

Women have fought and killed for equality for years but yet when it comes to this some are quick to turn there noses. Of course as parents we wish to protect our children but teaching them fear and disrespect according to gender is not the way. researching the nursey and it safegaurding is.

I hope that my son is not discrimnates against for his gender, the same in which if i had a daughter who wanted to be a mechanic/plumber ect would be just as accepted...on there skill and ability not on what anatomy they have between there legs.

(and this all comes from someone who has been molested...but i refuse to let me kids live in fear)

 

[robinator]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

 

[bookworm0901]

The safeguard question isn't even really a question- YES! Whether men, women or one of each are taking care of children, it should be done in pairs and changing tables should be out in the open. I think for me, the discussion hinges on whether I'm going to leave my LO alone with a male family member. The only one that would ever be possible is really my brother and the answer is yes. But if another close male relative happened to offer to babysit, one that I know well, would I say yes? I think no. But if a female cousin of mone offered, I wouldn't hesitate.

Sorry, I guess the question of keeping accountable seemed really obviously yes to me so all my discussion has been more in the 'gray area' of thought, leaving LO alone with a trusted male relative/friend.

 

[Missy86]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

That's not the point, sexism works both ways

 

[bumpy_j]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

Not really, my OH was insanely offended when I read him the original post

 

[beth_terri]

Can I just ask, those of you who say anyone changing a nappy should have a 'buddy'/do it in pairs, what about independent childminders?

X

 

[robinator]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

That's not the point, sexism works both ways

But it is the point. It's one thing to get up in arms because someone was passed over for a job promotion based on discrimination. But we're talking about changing diapers.

 

[robinator]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

Not really, my OH was insanely offended when I read him the original post

Well, I didn't say every man, I said a lot of men.

 

[Missy86]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

That's not the point, sexism works both ways

But it is the point. It's one thing to get up in arms because someone was passed over for a job promotion based on discrimination. But we're talking about changing diapers.

But if people won't let a man change diapers how is he meant to get a job with babies if that's what he wants to do

 

[marron]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

I am getting defensive on behalf of my son and what future perceptions are going to be unfairly piled on him.

 

[kassiaethne]

My DH could care less that men can't change diapers at some places. He isn't offended by it at all...... Is it possible we are getting defensive on the behalf of a lot of men who really don't give a hoot?

That's not the point, sexism works both ways

But it is the point. It's one thing to get up in arms because someone was passed over for a job promotion based on discrimination. But we're talking about changing diapers.

But if people won't let a man change diapers how is he meant to get a job with babies

they currently do now work with babies, they just can't change them

 

[AngelofTroy]

Right: here's a parallel example and I hope this doesn't offend as I know this can also be a sensitive subject - change 'sex' to 'race':

Lets say there was a shopkeeper in a 50% white, 50% black neighbourhood, his shop does not have CCTV and he is the only member of staff who works in the store - his shop gets held up at gunpoint 5 times by 5 different black people and 0 white people. His shopkeeper friend in an identical setting gets robbed by 6 black people and 2 white. What should he do?

a) Put a sign up saying 'No Blacks Allowed' as according to his experiences he is far more likely to be robbed by a black person

b) Increase staff so he is never alone, put CCTV in the shop and a panic button - more money spent but also counteracts the threats from white people robbing his shop which, although his personal statistics claim that he is more likely to be robbed by a black person the threat isn't eradicated completely by a simple sign.

Why is B clearly the moral option? Because criminals are a big minority in society and NO race ever deserves to be vilified by the actions of a very few - even if statistics ever say otherwise. The same should absolutely go for gender! We are talking about 50% of the people on the planet. How can we ever expect true equality with this sort of attitude? OF COURSE you can never be too careful but ruling out a gender equality over something like childcare is not morally justifiable at all - it is far fairer to focus on supervision for everyone in charge of a child that isn't their own rather than trust someone alone more because of their genitals. Equality is freedom for all regardless of sex, race, orientation isn't it? .

Agree 100%

 

[robinator]

It was just a question, folks. Thinking out loud.

 

[weewdy]

I work in childcare and have done for 10yrs and i am shocked and some of the comments.

I work alongside men and women and we BOTH need to be extremely cautious when it comes to caring for kids. There are numerous policies and procedures in place to safe guard the kids in our care. Kids get changed in an open area and we are not allowed to leave the area with a child without an adult buddy. All projects must be completed by two adults.
I have had many parents praise me on the fact i employ men, some kids dont have male role models in their lives and male childcare workers give this.

Anyone can molest kids and its a shame in this day and age its constantly at the back of parents minds. Kids cant be kids anymore, they cant go out and play without parents fearing for their safety.

A colleague at my oh work got found out to be a child molester last year. She has 3 kids and was married. She has 4 counts of abusing kids in changing rooms and alot for child porn, including her own kids. No one had any idea until she was arrested. Its a sad world we live in now.