Others smoking around your children

[Pearls18]

Oh and you're not the only smoker, Lindsay (sorry if I've got the name wrong) made a very mature and valid point, we discussed it, it was debated, I saw her point, she saw mine, all was fine.

 

[xemmax]

I asked a question just before: where do you draw the line about smoking in public when there are kids around? And how far away in public is far enough? As a smoker I am genuinely curious to know whether I am one of these inconsiderate people or I could be more flexible.

I think it's common sense that you don't smoke within the breathing space of children but actually I don't think you should smoke anywhere that is specifically for children, ie play parks etc.

Smoke doesn't stay in the place you are standing, it travels, so it's the smoker's responsibility to move far away in response to that fact.

 

[Pearls18]

I asked a question just before: where do you draw the line about smoking in public when there are kids around? And how far away in public is far enough? As a smoker I am genuinely curious to know whether I am one of these inconsiderate people or I could be more flexible.

If I can smell it, it's too close because it means I am inhaling it. I understand you can't always know how far smoke travels which was why I said it's important if we want to say something we say politely in case the smoker hasn't realised. If you are at a park or something with lots of children, I personally think, you shouldn't smoke not just because of the fumes but because I think it is a bad example to them but that's not to say I would berate you for it if I could see you but not smell it, that's just what would be going on in my head.

How do you feel about others smoking around your children? You're a mother like the rest of us.

 

[xemmax]

Oh and you're not the only smoker, Lindsay (sorry if I've got the name wrong) made a very mature and valid point, we discussed it, it was debated, I saw her point, she saw mine, all was fine.

And at least two others including myself are ex smokers, so we do have insight on how people start/how hard it is to quit.

 

[louandivy]

I hate it when parents smoke in the playground, it's so horrid and even worse that you can't even relax about them crawling around in the kids area because there are cigarette butts in the grass.

When we are at festivals and stuff I do realise they are a more adult environment though so as long as they are not close enough that they are smoking into Ivy's face then I am ok. My boyfriend smokes but he doesn't ever smoke in the day or when we are with ivy at all, he is around her all the time so I would be so uncomfortable with him gojng out for a cig then playing with ivy all day.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I do want to quit, and one day, might find the inner strength. Until then, I don't want to be bullied FOR the poor decision I made when I was younger-- and yes, non-smokers DO bully, and if they think what they do at times in public to smokers isn't, then they are naïve. Smoking around children is wrong. But non-smokers don't get to dictate where I am if I'm in an area that is not non-smoking... and a lot of them do, when they have children. I see mothers with kids giving me filthy looks all the time when I am not smoking around them. Kids come over to where I am and I get the blame when where was the parent who was supposed to be watching them? If I am in a place where a non-smoker knows is not signposted, chances are, there will be a smoker somewhere. Why is it OK to blame the smoker for exercising their legal right to smoke in that place? If the non-smoker doesn't like it, why don't they take their kids to an area they know will be smoke-free? Smokers have to pick and choose very carefully these days, as it's banned in so many places. It isn't fair to infringe on our space any more than it is that we infringe on yours.

I'm ignoring the rest because I'm not repeating myself, read my previous posts.

You told me you wouldn't try to understand. Of course I'm rubbed the wrong way about that. That's pretty cold, from a fellow human being who must have made bad choices sometimes too in their life. Mine just happens to be one that's OK to slam people for these days, that's all.

I was bullied too, you don't see me blaming any problems or issues in my life on that. You want to beat the bullies and peer pressure so you're not a victim to them anymore? Stop smoking. If you really want to not let them win any more, stop smoking. If you smoke because you want to, stop making excuses for it, no one here is saying you're a bad person for smoking.

And I am honestly glad that you didn't end up taking the route I did. Smoking is not something I envisioned myself ever doing. My father smokes and has all my life, and I was always told it was bad, but here I am today, a smoker of 10years.

Also, I have OCD, so for me quitting looks like a line in the distance that I will never see-- the action and routine is what makes it hard to bear being without now that I am so used to smoking, since it's a repetitive action that calms me. I panic when I think about coping without cigarettes. I struggle badly with breaking routine and habits. I have failed at beating normal contamination OCD (handwashing, obsessing, false memories, etc). No way in the world do I feel mentally ready to quit smoking. It's not that I don't want to, I honestly feel I am not able.

 

[louandivy]

Yeah I know how hard it is to quit, the only time I succeeded was when I got pregnant and even then it was awful at first but once I had a real incentive to want to look after my body it was so much easier to stick to it! I would def still be a smoker if it wasn't for ivy.

 

[Pearls18]

I'm honestly not trying to make out it's easy, I haven't smoked but I watched my mum battle with it for years, ironically it was the birth of my son not even her own children that was the "trigger" she needed. I don't mean it patronisingly at all, but have you thought of cognitive behavioural therapy if you want to quit? I have had it for other issues in my life and find it really helpful, I always find it puts things in perspective.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I asked a question just before: where do you draw the line about smoking in public when there are kids around? And how far away in public is far enough? As a smoker I am genuinely curious to know whether I am one of these inconsiderate people or I could be more flexible.

If I can smell it, it's too close because it means I am inhaling it. I understand you can't always know how far smoke travels which was why I said it's important if we want to say something we say politely in case the smoker hasn't realised. If you are at a park or something with lots of children, I personally think, you shouldn't smoke not just because of the fumes but because I think it is a bad example to them but that's not to say I would berate you for it if I could see you but not smell it, that's just what would be going on in my head.

How do you feel about others smoking around your children? You're a mother like the rest of us.

I don't like others smoking around my kids, but I also know it's not possible to keep them completely away from it. So I'm not going to froth at the mouth if they walk past a smoker in town or something, it's just something I accept is part of day to day life. Obviously I don't go taking them to beer gardens, lol, but yeah, it's one of those things I just think *sigh* and move them away as fast as I can.

I don't smoke at parks, or anything, but in town, in a semi-secluded area, I will.

Oh and you're not the only smoker, Lindsay (sorry if I've got the name wrong) made a very mature and valid point, we discussed it, it was debated, I saw her point, she saw mine, all was fine.

And at least two others including myself are ex smokers, so we do have insight on how people start/how hard it is to quit.

I was the only smoker for most of the thread so I kinda felt piled on a bit. Sorry

I hate it when parents smoke in the playground, it's so horrid and even worse that you can't even relax about them crawling around in the kids area because there are cigarette butts in the grass.

When we are at festivals and stuff I do realise they are a more adult environment though so as long as they are not close enough that they are smoking into Ivy's face then I am ok. My boyfriend smokes but he doesn't ever smoke in the day or when we are with ivy at all, he is around her all the time so I would be so uncomfortable with him gojng out for a cig then playing with ivy all day.

I take Eamon and Liam to the markets and people smoke there. I figure it's not often they are exposed so it isn't a big deal but from this thread I can see others feel differently, which is why I asked

 

[pinklightbulb]

Yeah I know how hard it is to quit, the only time I succeeded was when I got pregnant and even then it was awful at first but once I had a real incentive to want to look after my body it was so much easier to stick to it! I would def still be a smoker if it wasn't for ivy.

I cut way, way down (smoking basically only paper with virtually no tobacco) in pregnancy, thankfully my sons were fine but I feel sick every day wondering if I have somehow harmed them. It's awful.

I'm honestly not trying to make out it's easy, I haven't smoked but I watched my mum battle with it for years, ironically it was the birth of my son not even her own children that was the "trigger" she needed. I don't mean it patronisingly at all, but have you thought of cognitive behavioural therapy if you want to quit? I have had it for other issues in my life and find it really helpful, I always find it puts things in perspective.

I am doing CBT My OCD kicked in when I was pregnant with Eamon and I began the therapy during pregnancy with Liam. It is a long, slow road but I am getting there bit by bit.

 

[onetwothreebp]

There are many things you don't like in life? Do they give you cancer???

I don't even understand how this is a debate.

Well, why is it in the debate section?

How far away is far enough when it comes to smoking around children? You can't keep them in a bubble forever.

I can't keep my son in a bubble forever?!? Fuck that, seriously. That is the most offensive thing you have ever said in this thread, I think. I will do my hardest to keep my son in a cancer free bubble. Jesus Christ you have taken this to a whole low level.

 

[Pearls18]

Yeah I know how hard it is to quit, the only time I succeeded was when I got pregnant and even then it was awful at first but once I had a real incentive to want to look after my body it was so much easier to stick to it! I would def still be a smoker if it wasn't for ivy.

I cut way, way down (smoking basically only paper with virtually no tobacco) in pregnancy, thankfully my sons were fine but I feel sick every day wondering if I have somehow harmed them. It's awful.

I'm honestly not trying to make out it's easy, I haven't smoked but I watched my mum battle with it for years, ironically it was the birth of my son not even her own children that was the "trigger" she needed. I don't mean it patronisingly at all, but have you thought of cognitive behavioural therapy if you want to quit? I have had it for other issues in my life and find it really helpful, I always find it puts things in perspective.

I am doing CBT My OCD kicked in when I was pregnant with Eamon and I began the therapy during pregnancy with Liam. It is a long, slow road but I am getting there bit by bit.

Good luck to you I'm sure your children will appreciate it too because if they're anything like I was a child they will nag you senseless to stop haha, so better get in there before that happens because that will get annoying lol.

 

[pinklightbulb]

There are many things you don't like in life? Do they give you cancer???

I don't even understand how this is a debate.

Well, why is it in the debate section?

How far away is far enough when it comes to smoking around children? You can't keep them in a bubble forever.

I can't keep my son in a bubble forever?!? Fuck that, seriously. That is the most offensive thing you have ever said in this thread, I think. I will do my hardest to keep my son in a cancer free bubble. Jesus Christ you have taken this to a whole low level.

Whaaaa? It was an honest question. You can't control everything. There has to be a line drawn somewhere in regards to exposure of children to bad things in general day to day life. How far would anyone go? It wasn't an attack on you.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Yeah I know how hard it is to quit, the only time I succeeded was when I got pregnant and even then it was awful at first but once I had a real incentive to want to look after my body it was so much easier to stick to it! I would def still be a smoker if it wasn't for ivy.

I cut way, way down (smoking basically only paper with virtually no tobacco) in pregnancy, thankfully my sons were fine but I feel sick every day wondering if I have somehow harmed them. It's awful.

I'm honestly not trying to make out it's easy, I haven't smoked but I watched my mum battle with it for years, ironically it was the birth of my son not even her own children that was the "trigger" she needed. I don't mean it patronisingly at all, but have you thought of cognitive behavioural therapy if you want to quit? I have had it for other issues in my life and find it really helpful, I always find it puts things in perspective.

I am doing CBT My OCD kicked in when I was pregnant with Eamon and I began the therapy during pregnancy with Liam. It is a long, slow road but I am getting there bit by bit.

Good luck to you I'm sure your children will appreciate it too because if they're anything like I was a child they will nag you senseless to stop haha, so better get in there before that happens because that will get annoying lol.

Thank you

 

[onetwothreebp]

Exposure to bad things, yes, but it's really unfair to add cancer into that. Unbelievable.

 

[staralfur]

I think smoking should be banned from all public places. I'm sorry, but it's not anyone's responsibility to make your habit comfortable. It's harmful and pointless, and that's all there is to it, really. In a perfect world selling cigarettes would be illegal but that's likely never going to happen, so in the meantime I think we should at least try to minimize the overall effect and ban smoking in any public domain.

And I do have compassion and understanding for people who become addicted. My dad and my grandma were both smokers (they have both passed due to smoking-related diseases) and they were two of my favourite people in the world. I respected them and I loved them and they were wonderful people. I am sad every day over the fact that they got sucked into such a horrible habit and could not bring themselves to quit. But that is EXACTLY the reason that I am so passionate about making it hard for smokers to just carry on peacefully. It's not only about not wanting my child to breathe in a fraction of the toxins that come from cigarettes, but it's about hoping that if smokers feel "left out" or unable to partake in regular activities, maybe it'll be an extra kick in the ass to do something to fix it.

For the record, you could be smoking somewhere that you think is "safe" and someone could come around the corner a minute later and get a whiff of your cigarette smoke. Every time you smoke in public you risk affecting someone else, whether you like it or not.

 

[Piper84]

I cut way, way down (smoking basically only paper with virtually no tobacco) in pregnancy, thankfully my sons were fine but I feel sick every day wondering if I have somehow harmed them. It's awful.

I am doing CBT My OCD kicked in when I was pregnant with Eamon and I began the therapy during pregnancy with Liam. It is a long, slow road but I am getting there bit by bit.

I wonder why I was attacked by you in another thread for being on my "high horse" criticising parents using cannabis then, or are smoking cigarettes and smoking cannabis two different things for you?

 

[Natsku]

I don't like people smoking around Maria (or me) but I wouldn't tell someone in a public place to move or stop, I'd just move myself. If smokers come to my home I tell them they can smoke on my balcony. I have one friend who I visit who smokes and he goes outside to smoke if Maria is with me. I wouldn't expect other smokers to go outside of their own home to smoke just because I'm there with Maria but so far I've found that everyone is considerate enough to go outside or on their balcony to smoke (most seem to do that anyway as smoke smell inside a home isn't too nice)

 

[pinklightbulb]

Exposure to bad things, yes, but it's really unfair to add cancer into that. Unbelievable.

If you read back I never mentioned cancer, you did. I don't know where you got that. I just said that in general, you can't protect kids from everything, hence the bubble.

I cut way, way down (smoking basically only paper with virtually no tobacco) in pregnancy, thankfully my sons were fine but I feel sick every day wondering if I have somehow harmed them. It's awful.

I am doing CBT My OCD kicked in when I was pregnant with Eamon and I began the therapy during pregnancy with Liam. It is a long, slow road but I am getting there bit by bit.

I wonder why I was attacked by you in another thread for being on my "high horse" criticising parents using cannabis then, or are smoking cigarettes and smoking cannabis two different things for you?

What does another thread have to do with this? And yes, they are, but that isn't the point. I don't even recall the thread you are talking about. Sorry if you felt attacked, and if I didn't put my opinion across respectfully.

 

[onetwothreebp]

I can't protect my son from everything, no, but I can do my best to make sure he stays away from things that are well known to cause cancer, like your breath. I'm not sure why you don't realise that?? I want the best for my son and while I can't keep him from everything, I don't understand why you fail to understand that I don't want him around cigarettes. You're making this so much harder than it needs to be! You need to stop playing the victim in this thread. There's debating the other side, and then there is just embarrassing and it's definitely reached that point.