Over 30 and TTC

[Angel_dust]

me - 34 and hubby 35 - Day21 progesterone this month - 51. but af today


i'm with lisa and mrsjo!

just realised how obsessed i am! doc told me and hubby just to relax and go for it......hubby just came into my office to find me with 4 tests (they were on sale!) and a new themo stuffed into my mouth...seeing if it worked!!!! he looked at me and said "so we're not relaxing are we?!"

the obseessing has to stop for me!

good luck to all! x

I can see that being me very soon....I just had to stop myself from buying a thermometer from ebay, I feel like i have to use the opks this month just to prove to myself that i have ov...but i know damn well that if i get a thermometer im just going to obsess too far!

I actually had a good chat today with a neighbour who said that she was ttc for over a year (aged 31)and was using opks, temping and charting and she went through to getting an appointment with the doctor to carry out some tests. While waiting for the test results she decided to forget about ttc as it obviously wasnt happening. She got her very unexpected BFP the folowing month!

So I'm going to try very hard to chill this month and eat well and think positive, i think i'll give the agnus castus a miss. Have thought about it and i dont know enough about it to trust it completely. My cycles are getting better and dont wanna mess em up...besides, I feel like im rattling already with the amount of vits im taking!

 

[shaerichelle]

I am 31, TTC #2. I have a 7 yr old son and DH has two grils 12 and 10. This will be our first baby together. We are on our 3rd month of trying. I have been extermely tired like I was when I was preg with my son early on. Currently 4 dpo.

Wishing everyone

 

[Angel_dust]

I am 31, TTC #2. I have a 7 yr old son and DH has two grils 12 and 10. This will be our first baby together. We are on our 3rd month of trying. I have been extermely tired like I was when I was preg with my son early on. Currently 4 dpo.

Wishing everyone

Ooh, that sounds like a good sign already!

Fingers crossed for your BFP very soon then!

Me and my OH are ttc our first baby together too. I already have two, he has one, all girls. My mother in law said the other day 'when are we going to get a grandson?'...like im not under enough pressure already, lol.

 

[shaerichelle]

Ooh, that sounds like a good sign already!

Fingers crossed for your BFP very soon then!

Me and my OH are ttc our first baby together too. I already have two, he has one, all girls. My mother in law said the other day 'when are we going to get a grandson?'...like im not under enough pressure already, lol.

I sure hope so. I am still so tired all week long! You sound like you have a family like me! It sometimes feels like chaos transfering the kids to the other parent. I have not met my MIL, they live in India. I guess we are going there in Feb. I hope I am pregnant by then! My ex MIL Is real bad she always made me feel under pressure!

 

[ablacketer]

my exmil was a real witch! I feel you guys.

 

[fifi-folle]

Hi girls
Back again. Now over 30 and ttc. Bean didn't stick. M/c started last night. Had to go out with friends for my birthday lunch today, mostly friends with little ones But rather than let that get me down I just thought that we would be the ones with a baby some day. Not easy, especially when last night, as I was curled up in the foetal position in agony, my SIL announces she is expecting number 2. Feel so guilty, but I really felt angry at her good news, she's not to know that I was miscarrying/having a chemical or whatever. Still dreading seeing them. Have asked DH to let his family know what happened because it is going to be difficult hearing all about their pregnancy. But then again I don't think it's fair of me to expect them not to go on about it. They didn't even know we are trying. I am happy for them, just not at the moment. Do you understand or do I sound like a horrible person?

 

[shaerichelle]

I am sorry fifi-folle about your m/c. I have never had one, but totally understand how you feel. With my son my sister announced two weeks later she was pregnant. I know it hurts a lot right now and its not fair. Take time to relax. Thing good thoughts.

When I told my doc I hate having fibro. She said only the strong people are able to deal with it. So I guess only the strong people have to deal with pain.

 

[fifi-folle]

I am sorry fifi-folle about your m/c. I have never had one, but totally understand how you feel. With my son my sister announced two weeks later she was pregnant. I know it hurts a lot right now and its not fair. Take time to relax. Thing good thoughts.

When I told my doc I hate having fibro. She said only the strong people are able to deal with it. So I guess only the strong people have to deal with pain.

thank you honey. Fibro is a nasty one. My poison is endo but quite a few of the girls on endo forum have fibro too. Your doc's comment is like one my Mum makes basically saying that God doesn't give you more crap than you can deal with. Pah. You just have to deal with it. There's nothing else for it. I mean I have been in constant pain for over a year now, then this and of course earlier in the week I was told I would be withdrawn from my uni course due to my continuing absence. Sorry I am having a lousy time of it and letting it get to me. Naughty Fiona. Must be positive!
DH has cancelled his golf tomorrow because he doesn't want to leave me so it's Christmas shopping to keep me busy!

 

[Britt11]

I am so sorry for your loss Fiffi-folle, that is absolutely horrible. I read your original post and was so happy for you and thought great we have our first BFP on this new thread. I think you are very human and normal and it would be strange if you didnt feel that way. I cant believe you managed to go out for lunch, tha must have been torture for you hon. We are here for you via email if you want to write or express yourself. I think you need to focus on yourself, lots of TLC and dont worry what anyone else thinks. If you dont feel up to meeting friends/family then dont, simple as that. Hoping you get a early New Years BFP!
xx

 

[Angel_dust]

Fifi, I'm so sorry for your loss..



I've never had a mc so i cannot even imagine how you are feeling..but i did help support my best friend through one. Its a horrible horrible thing to go through.

I hope your feeling better soon and if you need a break and dont see family for a while then just do whatever feels best for you. I'm sure everyone will understand.x

 

[fifi-folle]

I would avoid his family but I am making one of our niece's main presents, a play tent for her bedroom so I really do need to go down before Xmas. Also I am one of her favourite people so it really wouldn't be fair on her, she's only 2, it's not her fault my body has done this. It wasn't meant to be, I will be more fertile next month and my body now knows what to do.
So how is everyone doing?

 

[Lisa1]

Hi girls
Back again. Now over 30 and ttc. Bean didn't stick. M/c started last night. Had to go out with friends for my birthday lunch today, mostly friends with little ones But rather than let that get me down I just thought that we would be the ones with a baby some day. Not easy, especially when last night, as I was curled up in the foetal position in agony, my SIL announces she is expecting number 2. Feel so guilty, but I really felt angry at her good news, she's not to know that I was miscarrying/having a chemical or whatever. Still dreading seeing them. Have asked DH to let his family know what happened because it is going to be difficult hearing all about their pregnancy. But then again I don't think it's fair of me to expect them not to go on about it. They didn't even know we are trying. I am happy for them, just not at the moment. Do you understand or do I sound like a horrible person?

I am really sorry hun that must have been very hard for you to try and enjoy ur birthday lunch also dealing with your loss and having to try and be happy for your sil.

You do not sound horrible at all and everyone would feel exactly the same. I haven't been on much because I am going with the ntnp this month lol but i know when ov is as i get twinges but we are relaxing and going with the flow. NO PRESSURE ALOUD AT ALL!!!

 

[Lisa1]

Hi ablacketer see you have a bbt chart, gonna sneak a look at that, I have been having positive opks every month but maybe a bbt will let me know that I am actually ovulating.

Do you find it easy to do? could you give me a quick run down on how you chart and what happens after you o? does the temp go up before and then dip after? sorry I have no idea how it works

Im so sorry, I didnt mean to not answer your question!

Yes Im charting. the worst part about it is that I get up everyday at 630 so on the weekends I have to get up at 630 too so I can temp at the same time everyday. (I just roll over and go back to sleep after lol)

I use my chart in conjunction with the OPK. It alowes me to input when I BD, my mucus, my opk results, the position hardness and openness of my cervix. together It helps me see when I ov.

I dont mind doing it and the site I use only charges 20 for six months (and doesnt auto renew, how awesome is that!) It gives me printouts I can take to my doc with me (helps to tell more accurately when I conceived and if I ov at all)

I def recommend charting. there is a chart stalkers group here, I def recommend reading through the thread! lots of good info for you there.

If I can help you any more please feel free to PM me

Thanks hun if my ntnp doesn't work this month I will defo try charting. i have been talking to so many people lately that had been trying and when they actually stopped trying they fell preggers right away lol. so I am trying to not try! bloodly harder than it sounds lol so no stress this month at all.

 

[ablacketer]

we started out not trying

 

[Lisa1]

we started out not trying

Ah bugger lol

I am nearly 36 so didn't think I had time to ntnp but I think with being such a focused person I have hindered myself with all the opk and charting when O will be, bding on the right times and really just putting to much pressure on myself and then not reaching my goal each month again more pressure

So this month no pressure just enjoy Christmas and a few drinks and see what happens, no opks no looking at what cd I am and just bding when i want it (usually all the time anywaylol) so fx for a shock this month will it work for me who knows but a month off could do me the world of good and maybe a

 

[ablacketer]

hugs!

 

[MrsJ08]

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been quiet this weekend. My SD has been with us and I didn't want to risk logging on and her seeing me in the forum as she would have assumed I was pregnant - I wish!

Fifi-Folle, I really am very sorry for your loss. I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel but I can try my best to empathise and realise it must be really hard for you. I don't think you are a terrible person at all. I think you are perfectly normal and I'm sure your DH's family will understand. I have been avoiding my step-sister because she is expecting her second and I don't have a reason as understandable as yours. I've been doing it because she drives me insane with her "when are you going to give my kid's some cousins" comments. Obviously at the moment when I desperately want to do just that it's the last thing I need to hear!

I hope everyone else is well?

x

 

[fifi-folle]

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been quiet this weekend. My SD has been with us and I didn't want to risk logging on and her seeing me in the forum as she would have assumed I was pregnant - I wish!

Fifi-Folle, I really am very sorry for your loss. I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel but I can try my best to empathise and realise it must be really hard for you. I don't think you are a terrible person at all. I think you are perfectly normal and I'm sure your DH's family will understand. I have been avoiding my step-sister because she is expecting her second and I don't have a reason as understandable as yours. I've been doing it because she drives me insane with her "when are you going to give my kid's some cousins" comments. Obviously at the moment when I desperately want to do just that it's the last thing I need to hear!

I hope everyone else is well?

x

That's a nightmare isn't it! SIL's husband is very direct and often asks "So are you pregnant yet?" if he asks at Christmas he will probably get a very detailed answer!!! I do that when people annoy me with questions about my health (constant pain from endo), some people like my MIL don't ask any more!!!! Goodness knows how my DH came from that family!!!

Personally I am getting back to feeling normal-ish. Spoke to Mum for an hour last night, taking advantage of her medical knowledge (she was a nurse, midwife and midwifery tutor) and also her personal experience. She had a miscarriage the cycle before she got pregnant with me, so fingers crossed I get pregnant after this one! Going to see GP though as confused as to whether we should take a month off next month or not. Couldn't get an appt til a week's time though!!!! Grr, the NHS is so annoying. Have also spoken to gynae's secretary who is setting up an appointment to see my new gynae in a fertility clinic as she had suggested we would do if pregnancy didn't work out (I'm at increased risk of miscarriage due to endo). So things are moving forward, but obviously I would prefer a natural BFP rather than IUI, IVF or ICSI.

Oops, sorry for the long post.
Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[MrsJ08]

Fifi-Folle -that all sounds really positive. I'm glad you are feeling better. I think the general advice after a MC/Chemical is to wait a month or so but in reality when someone has suffered a loss like that it is inevitable that they will want to try again asap. One of my ex-colleagues had MC's in consecutive months but on the third month the bean stuck and she now has a DD so finger's crossed for you. My understanding is that it is quite common especially with first pregnancies and that prior to these new really sensitive HPT's people would have them without knowing. I guess that's the downside of actively TTC and monitoring things so closely. At least your body know's what to do now and Christmas is coming up so hopefully you will be able to relax and look to the future. My DH has banned me from taking any HPT's until I am a minimum of 4 days late, which I think makes a lot of sense.

The family pressure regarding pregnancy drives me insane. These days it's only really my step-sister that does it and to be honest I think it's just her way of getting one over on me. Although we haven't talked about it in recent months I have told her that I really want to have a baby in the past so I think she can't help herself but rub my nose in it. I'm dreading this weekend as it's my niece's birthday (2) and I'm going to be surrounded by babies and ankle biter's. If need be, we will use having to get home for the dog as an excuse to leave early! My step-daughter (11) is quite obsessed with the idea of me having a baby at the moment too, so I have had to field all her questions this weekend. Unfortunately her vindictive bitch of a mother has been telling that when we have a baby we won't be bothered with her anymore, so she wants to talk about it to get some reassurance. I completely understand that she needs to hear us tell her that we will love her just as much as we always have. But, I don't much feel like exploring that subject at the moment when I'm so desperate for it to happen and obviously we haven't told her we are TTC. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone other than me?

I'm rambling now so I better be off.....
x

 

[fifi-folle]

It makes total sense. For something which only requires two people to achieve too many people seem to think they have a right to get involved (if that makes sense). Another reason that your step daughter is probably becoming interested will be the relationships unit they will probably be doing in school (if it's anything like the Scottish education system) and with puberty kicking in she'll probably have lots of questions. That's awful what her Mum is saying though. It's awful when people treat their children like pawns. My FIL has a 12yr old son from another relationship who he has since split from and for a long time my little BIL was used by his Mother as a tool for punishing his Dad. Fortunately it's all ok just now. What's the phrase, you can choose your friends but not your family?!?
Fingers crossed for your BFP for Christmas!!! Only 3 days to go til you can test!!!