Over 30, expecting #1

[VickieLP]

Thanks so much, Vickie! And congrats to you
The part that is hardest is trying to not spend all of my time worrying about miscarriage, as it is higher for people w/ PCOS.
I finally allowed my husband some nookie last night but I was nervous the whole time, poor guy. And we are used to pretty regular lovin', so I am gonna have to get over my irrational fears!
Any tips for dealing with the 1st trimester anxiety?

Wow, this thread came alive over the last couple of days!!
I just read through it all catching up.......

(I never mentioned I'm 31 next Monday and my DF will be 40 in Nov. Our little one is due New Years Eve )

It's tough when you read everywhere that people with PCOS have a higher chance of miscarriage - Pleeeeeease don't do what I did and google - I googled everything and freaked myself right out. I was so anxious in the first few weeks worrying about every twinge.... I did speak to my Doc about my concern with miscarriage... He was really great - advising me I wouldn't be treated any differently to a normal pregnancy. (someone without PCOS) He told me that there is a slightly higher risk at implantation stage, but after this the risks are the same as somebody without PCOS......
I couldn't wait until 12 weeks to see my baby - I paid for a private scan and it was the best money I ever spent....... I was patient and waited until I was 9 weeks to be sure baby would be big enough to see heartbeat.......

Both midwife and Dr told us DTD was quite safe... But, we did wait until we were into 2nd Tri.... It was tough but well worth the wait...

I hope I have put your mind at rest a little - Just try not to fret and enjoy it....... The first tri goes so slow - But after that it literally flies......

 

[flippityflop]

Hi all!
I'm 31, will be 32 when our little boy arrives on or around 28th December. Christmas baby! He's going to hate me when he's 18 and everyone is too tired or skint to go out and celebrate his birthday

I also have PCOS (SO many of us here have it don't we?!). I can't honestly say how long it took us to get a BFP as we were NTNP. I came off the pill a while back as the doc said I was too overweight Ever since I came off I had regular AF each month. We stopped using protection but I *know* we never did it around ovulation time, but saying that I'd never tested when my ovulation was so I can't say for sure!! But I'd say we were having unprotected sex for at least a year.

I had a late AF in Feb of this year and we both went into a mad panic "good, god what have we done, we're not ready for this!" and when we got a BFN we were both really disappointed. I ordered some ovulation sticks and had my LMP on 23 March and never got round to using the ovulation sticks that month. 6 May I was late and got a BFP (I actually got about 12......)

 

[VickieLP]

Hi Emily,
I didn't realise you had PCOS too??!! The more of your posts I read, it's quite surreal how similiar we are (My LMP was 24 March - Got my BFP 02 May)... lol How bizarre.....
Oooh I wonder if I am carrying a boy??!! For that I will have to wait and see.....

 

[flippityflop]

Hi Emily,
I didn't realise you had PCOS too??!! The more of your posts I read, it's quite surreal how similiar we are (My LMP was 24 March - Got my BFP 02 May)... lol How bizarre.....
Oooh I wonder if I am carrying a boy??!! For that I will have to wait and see.....

Maybe we are twins separated at birth If your LMP was the day after me how come you are due 3 days after me? Did they say that at the dating scan? They said I was right for my dates, but I saw something on the screen that I think makes me one day later but the MW said if you're within 5 days they just leave your EDD alone.

 

[VickieLP]

Hi Emily,
I didn't realise you had PCOS too??!! The more of your posts I read, it's quite surreal how similiar we are (My LMP was 24 March - Got my BFP 02 May)... lol How bizarre.....
Oooh I wonder if I am carrying a boy??!! For that I will have to wait and see.....

Maybe we are twins separated at birth If your LMP was the day after me how come you are due 3 days after me? Did they say that at the dating scan? They said I was right for my dates, but I saw something on the screen that I think makes me one day later but the MW said if you're within 5 days they just leave your EDD alone.

lol - I have no idea......... My private scan at 9 weeks they dated me at 02 January, then my 12 week scan put me at 31 December.... I had quite long cycles so sure it will be a January baby..... Will be nice as he/she gets older to spend all their birthday money in the Sales

 

[ZoMo]

Well I had my 20 week scan today, the lady said 'this ones a squirmer isnt it?' just the the midwife called it a 'wriggler'!!

All looking good, still measuring right for EDD on 10th Feb, she said my placenta is at the front which may be why I havent felt much yet. And we are on Team....


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PINK!!!!!!!! Sooo happy!!!!! Dragged OH round Asda picking up anything pink with a Disney character on it!! Am a total sucker for Disney!!

 

[purplelilly]

Well I had my 20 week scan today, the lady said 'this ones a squirmer isnt it?' just the the midwife called it a 'wriggler'!!

All looking good, still measuring right for EDD on 10th Feb, she said my placenta is at the front which may be why I havent felt much yet. And we are on Team....


.....



.....


PINK!!!!!!!! Sooo happy!!!!! Dragged OH round Asda picking up anything pink with a Disney character on it!! Am a total sucker for Disney!!

Congrats ZoMo! I think DH would have a small heartattack if we are team pink!lol! Just gonna have to wait & see, he said he wouldn't find out... until we got our BFP then that changed fast Waiting out the first u/s now then gender scan (hopefully they're not the same one )

 

[ZoMo]

Well OH had a huge smile then said he would have to start planning the speech / warning now for the first boyfriend who came along!

 

[Mrs. AJ]

Congrats on the baby girl Zomo!!!

 

[LJ Junior]

Re: the question of taking a break or leaving your career

I've been thinking more and more about this lately. I love my career and have been working my way up in it for 11 years, but my work is an hour away from my home so it makes for some long days. Now, thinking of being away from my baby for an extra two hours a day is very sad. I'm hoping we can make it work with me returning only part time after my maternity leave.

I'm very fortunate to live in Canada though - we get a full year of maternity leave. I also work for the government so my union tops up our maternity pay and I can take the full year off with essentially no change in my salary. It boggles my mind that other countries expect mothers back at work within a few months or even weeks!

How much maternity leave do you in other areas of the world get?

 

[DHime]

My Dr. told me if I was due 2 weeks later I'd be considered "Advanced Maternal Age". Not sure I like that label!

Yeah, the USA docs are nutty about ‘advanced maternal age’.
I have a topic/ question:
Anyone considering taking a break or completely walking away from a career to stay with the baby?
I like my job and I'm good at it, but I would stay home for the first couple of years, if we had enough money, which we don’t. Childcare and insurance will take half of my paycheck, but we need the insurance and the other half of my pay check. We have a mortgage and student loans but no car payments, and we still need my income to meet our basic needs. So, I have about 4 months of leave saved up and I will use that and then it’s back to work for me.

PS- let’s not let dissolve into an argument about stay at home moms vs. work moms. To each her own!

I'm with you on that. I plan to stay home if humanly possible. If I end up poorer than now, we will be okay. I trust that everything will be fine as I have faith that my prayers are heard.
I think women should be able to go either way. The state of everything now days makes that nearly impossible though. We have all but lost our right to choose which path to follow.

 

[Mrs. AJ]

How much maternity leave do you in other areas of the world get?

In the US it is awful. If you work for an employer that is covered by FMLA then you get 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Some employers will offer some form of paid leave on top of that, but I think that is pretty rare. And employers that are not covered by FMLA (usually small businesses) aren't required to give any leave at all!

 

[ZoMo]

How much maternity leave do you in other areas of the world get?

In the US it is awful. If you work for an employer that is covered by FMLA then you get 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Some employers will offer some form of paid leave on top of that, but I think that is pretty rare. And employers that are not covered by FMLA (usually small businesses) aren't required to give any leave at all!

Oh thats awful. I will get 12 weeks full pay maternity leave then drop to statutory maternity pay which is about £128 a week I think. We will struggle like mad on that as my partner is supporting his previous household too and so it is really just my pay that supports this household and we will be losing about £1100 a month. Still sounds better than the US options though!

 

[purplelilly]

yeah the in the US it's just to make sure you still have a job to go back to but alot of ppl i know didn't take the full 12wks cuz they just couldn't afford it! As a small business owner our only option is to invest in a comfortable carrier & an extra play yard!

 

[purplelilly]

Well OH had a huge smile then said he would have to start planning the speech / warning now for the first boyfriend who came along!

that is soooo sweeet!

 

[lizzywiz]

purplelilly- I know it won't be all baby kisses and rainbows but it sounds like you have a good plan worked out to have the baby at work. At least you will know that your LO is with someone who loves them!

 

[lizzywiz]

Re: the money for maternity leave and/or daycare issue- We have pretty limited finances and it is annoying, but every mom I know tells me that I will find a way to make ends meet, even if it seems impossible right now…I sure hope so! I am already struggling with the things I can't afford that I would like just for the pregnancy, like a pair of pants that don't pinch my bloat! But, alas, I am trying to not spend money on maternity clothes until it baby and not bloat making my tummy bulge Also, I would like these obscenely expensive prenatal yoga classes, but that's not gonna happen. Huh, I sound a bit greedy!

Charlieosgirl- let us know as soon as you feels something and what it feels like- it will be good to hear it described by another new mom. So exciting!

ZoMo- CONGRATS!!!! a flower for your girl

Sentimental moment alert: I found a bit of paper lying around the house where my husband was evidently taking notes on his baby names ideas

 

[charleosgirl]

Well I had my 20 week scan today, the lady said 'this ones a squirmer isnt it?' just the the midwife called it a 'wriggler'!!

All looking good, still measuring right for EDD on 10th Feb, she said my placenta is at the front which may be why I havent felt much yet. And we are on Team....


.....



.....


PINK!!!!!!!! Sooo happy!!!!! Dragged OH round Asda picking up anything pink with a Disney character on it!! Am a total sucker for Disney!!

Awe congrats! I'd do the same thing if we are team pink,disney this and that, though I would try very hard not to overdo the princess stuff as it would drive OH nuts. He wants a boy,lol

 

[purplelilly]

purplelilly- I know it won't be all baby kisses and rainbows but it sounds like you have a good plan worked out to have the baby at work. At least you will know that your LO is with someone who loves them!

I sure hope so i'll have to get back to ya when i'm answering phones & checking out customers with a screaming bubs who wants to breast feed

 

[purplelilly]

Question: am i the only crazy fool thinking of going cloth diapers to save?