Over 30 & still trying for baby #1

[MrsDuck]

Buttrfly I'm so sorry, due dates are awful and emotional times and ttcing is so stressful, I really hope you get some luck soon and see your rainbow bfp xx

Callmeal I'm so sorry about your cat, you must be heartbroken xx

 

[ItsAWonder]

Buttrfly - sorry you hit your due date. It's a tough time. My only words of encouragement are to take strength in the good moments and use those memories to carry you through the bad. Bad things don't make us stronger, they make us find the strength we already have.

I don't usually celebrate both but my husband is not a member of the tribe so, now I do. Our babe will grow up with all the holidays.

Callme - I am so sorry about your cat. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Highhopes I realized I did not address you in my post I apologize. How are you...were you able to do IVF this time around?

Fingers crossed for you cntrygrl .

Thank you mrsduck. Still have couple more days of trying for us so hopefully will work out.

Thank you for your words itsawonder. I do beat myself over the missed days so I just have to try to think positive about the days that did work.

Callmeal so very sorry about your cat. Thinking of you.

 

[MellyH]

Buttrfly, big hugs. I hope all the timing works out for you guys soon, your poor husband blaming himself so much

Al, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine. I was a wreck after my first cat was put down and that was an isolated event, not compounded on top of a miscarriage. Have you read about Rainbow Bridge?

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Thanks Melly

Everyone has been quiet...any updates?
How was your scan mrsduck? Any news on IVF highhopes?

Hope everyone else is doing well!

 

[MrsDuck]

To my surprise I'm having a girl

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Yay great news! She will be adorable! I guess you thought you were having a boy?

 

[MrsDuck]

Thanks buttrfly yeah I was convinced it was a boy haha how wrong was I

 

[iBeach]

Hello ladies
I am also joining from New York!
I just spent couple of hours reading from the beginning. Smiling when I read about BFP but also had tears in my eyes reading about your heartbreaks.

Let me give you little bit about me: I am 28 and a half! I know that half is important because by the time I will start TTC and have a baby I will be at least 30! Although I hope it will happen sooner. I have been in a relationship for about a year with a guy who doesn't want to have any more children. He has a daughter who just turned 21 and had vasectomy about 20 years ago.

All I want is a baby! I want to be a mom. So, now I am torn between him and my dream.

My best friend and I have been TTC for couple of cycles last year but nothing happened. He is gay and has been with his partner for about 20 years, they want to be come parents, and we are planning on co-parenting together.

AF just arrived today and I cant wait for her to leave so we can start TTC again. I will start this cycle or next and see.

I don't even know how I ended up in this forum, but after reading every post I feel like I already know you all!.

 

[MrsDuck]

Ibeach welcome to the group. Your situation sounds very complicated but what a wonderful thing for your gay friends, I'm so sorry your partner doesn't want children when you want them so badly, I really hope this works out perfectly for you all and your bfp is just around the corner

 

[ItsAWonder]

Mrs. Duck - a girl!! How precious That just gave me the first inkling to know what I am having.... Still going to wait... I think.

Ibeach - welcome. I have some friends where I grew up who are co-parents and I love visiting their household. For them, it just works. Everyone got what they hoped for and their kids are open, honest and loving children.

My husband, in the beginning, did not want marriage or children either. We were both 30 when we met. As time went on, and our relationship blossomed, we realized that together we wanted both. If you two are meant to be than these things will come naturally. We did not marry or start to ttc until we were 35 but the wait was well worth it. Plus, every year I have had to myself and with DH has been a blessing. All will change soon so appreciate what you have while you have it.

 

[MellyH]

MrsDuck! Yay!! A little daughter. Daughters are awesome

iBeach - welcome to the thread. I don't envy you your situation, but it sounds like you have come up with a solution that works for everyone. Good luck!

ItsAWonder - I was the one who was unsure about kids when my now husband and I started dating. It wasn't until last year when I hit 30 that my biological clock switched on in a big way!

 

[highhopes2013]

Gosh I've missed so much! Have been so so busy at work and the ivf drugs are starting to kick in now so feeling a bit rotten too. Mrs duck what fab news...a girl! How exciting!

Callmeal so sorry about your cat you must be so upset. Sending you a hug x

Flou hope you are ok. Look after yourself xx

Itsawonder how's the bump doing?

And how are the rest of you ladies?!

 

[MellyH]

Sorry about the meds leaving you feeling poorly HH. It's all in a good cause I guess.

 

[ItsAWonder]

Having a tough day. A friend delivered her baby boy two days ago. All seemed fine even though he was 35 weeks (not that early). He died yesterday. I guess that is considered SIDS. I no longer feel secure - like I am past the worst of it. I can't stop thinking about their pain. She no longer lives locally so I can't see her. I wish I could make it better. I am afraid that my sorrow and negative thoughts will hurt my baby and I can't stop crying except when at work. There is no peace in this. I'm going to leave work a few hours early today to go for a nordic ski. Hopefully it will make me feel a bit better. Thanks for being here so I can write this.

 

[MellyH]

How truly awful. I can't even imagine what she's going through.

Take care of yourself - my opinion is to let yourself grieve and then try to work through it and move on when you can - if you bottle it up it it won't be good for you either.

It's hard being so far away when what you want to do is sit by their bedside and hold their hand and cry with them. She'll appreciate knowing that you're thinking of them. Maybe you'll be in a unique position to offer sympathy compared to a lot of others.

Such a hard, hard time.

 

[highhopes2013]

Gosh it breaks your heart doesn't it. So so sad.

I guess you never know what is going to happen. But try to stay as positive as you can itsawonder. I'm glad I enjoyed my 11 weeks of being pregnant, I can look back on it and smile now even though it still hurts.

 

[CallMeAL1982]

Itsawonder, how sad for your friend! I'm sure she knows you are holding her in your heart.

I can sympathize with the biological clockers... mine didn't kick in until I met my husband, and I can't shake the feeling that it's already too late for us.

After my kitty passed, we didn't think it could get any worse... she died three months to the day after we lost our baby. Surprise, I got a call from my lawyer last Monday morning indicating that the sellers were pulling out of the contract to sell their house, and that they would put it back on the market for a better offer, and that we were basically losing one more thing that was important to us. I've been in a real fog all week. I feel like it's just not worth it anymore. I've really appreciated the support you all are giving, it's just so hard to put one foot in front of the other right now. No baby, no cat, no house. We aren't going to Christmas at my inlaws this year because they are so unsympathetic and judgmental, and all my MIL can worry about is why my husband and I don't want to spend time with his sister and her 9 month old. What a witch.

What's next? I just hope 2014 is a better year. We're still 'trying' this month but my hopes are pretty low both because of all the stress which I'm sure is messing up my cycle and because nothing else seems to be working out, so why would getting pregnant?

Sorry to be such a downer. I hope everyone else's holiday prep is going better!

 

[ItsAWonder]

CallMe - I am so sorry for your current downturn. These times in our lives are so difficult is makes it hard to breathe. The good news is that they always turn around. Not when we want it to but when we no longer expect it. Maybe it's to help us appreciate and respect the good times.

I hope that good news begins to come your way soon.

 

[MrsDuck]

Highhopes I hope you are getting used to your meds and they aren't now making you feel so yuck

Itsawonder I'm so sorry to hear what an awful thing your friend has had to go through, my heart breaks or her

Callmeal I had a year like that in 2012, 2 mcs and diagnosed with cancer all within a few months, that was my rock bottom. Then 2013 after lots of treatment I won my cancer battle and now my little missy is on the way. So I truly believe things are going to be much better for you in 2014

Melly 2 more cycles then you will be joining in with ttcing I can't wait, I hope you are a poas addict