Over 30 & still trying for baby #1

[ItsAWonder]

Wow - a lot of catching up to do here.

Flou - I do understand how you feel. My first loss was due this month and my second next month. I am just trying not to focus on it but I think being where I am now is making it easier. Of course, I am sorry that you are not currently pg but you will be soon.

I definitely believe in prophetic dreams. The night before my first m/c I dreamed that I had a long talk with my grandfather while he was cooking by the stove. It's the first dream I can remember having of him since he died when I was 4. The dream was so real and as I was waking up we both realized I was about to leave. Papa said "don't worry, I will see you very soon". I knew then I would miscarry and started to that day.

The scary thing is that he was in my dream two nights ago as well but I can't remember what we talked about. This time I hope it was good and healthy news... Can't wait to see the doc again next Thursday for some reassurance all is ok.

It looks like everyone else is doing well and we will hopefully see some more BFP's here soon!

HH - especially to you - good luck!

Buttrfly - I am sitting on the edge of my seat you are, as Mrs. Duck said, a late bloomer.

Mrs. Duck - you are almost at V-Day!!!

 

[flou]

Buttrfly i have my fxd for you! Really hoping its a bfp v.soon! Keep us updated.

I had a lovely Christmas but I did find it difficult. I am feeling more positive today. I told DH how i felt on Christmas evening as i didn't want to spoil his day. He admitted he found it difficult too so we had a cuddle and a bit of a cry and felt much better for it.

We are driving my MIL back to south Wales on Sunday and we are staying there for new year, so having a quiet one but with plenty of bubbly to see in the new year.

I am hoping that 2014 is a good year for all of us!

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Bfn frer and digital 5 days late this really doesn't make ttc easy.
I'm questioning whether I should still stay away from certain foods and meds because I have no clue what is going on!

 

[CallMeAL1982]

Leslie- sorry you're living in limbo. That's so hard. Even if there's no reason eventually, I'd still stay away from anything you would avoid while pregnant until you know one way or the other. That way you don't have to beat yourself up if the line turns pink!

Flou- keep up the positive attitude, and enjoy your glass of bubbly at new years. You've certainly earned it!

 

[CallMeAL1982]

Ooops, pressed 'post' before I was finished.

Itsawonder, hope you're doing well... weird that you mention the dreams, I also dreamed that I was pregnant before I knew, and dreamed that I miscarried before I knew. How are you feeling?

HighHopes- how long until you POAS?

AFM, I've been reading and appreciating your support. I'm not doing very well. After Grace died, one of my other cats stopped eating and I had to force-feed her for a week... she's also sick, and the antibiotic was making her feel really crummy so she wasn't eating. We finally sent a culture to find out what drugs will work the best for her and unfortunately she has pseudomonas, which is resistant to most kitty antibiotics. We switched her to a new one (ciprofloxacin) which should work, we switched her last week and so far she seems to be tolerating it. Fingers crossed, because this is the last holdout before we have to choose between long-term kidney damage or not treating her infection, and I just really can't take more loss.

I've been really, really depressed. Losing Grace brought back losing my baby, and the holidays are super hellish for me this year. Everything is about kids and babies and it's too much for me. Rob and I have been doing lots of BDing but aren't too hopeful for this cycle because I'm such a wreck, especially because I'm on CD 32 and still haven't ovulated, which makes me think I'm going back to the pre-treatment PCOS times of 6-8 MONTH cycles. I'm also aware that the stress is probably throwing my cycle off, but it's not like I can press a button and turn it off. If nothing happens by January 6th (when everyone should be back to normal business hours here), I'll call my doctor and get Provera to induce AF.

Rob's been great with all of this, his family has been making things way worse (for example, his sister sent HIM a Christmas card without including me on the addressing or the inside, it's like I don't exist) and I'm sure the defense would be "well, we know Alyssa's sensitive about baby stuff right now" (their card was just pictures of their 8 month old)... but the kicker is, we NEVER TOLD HER about my miscarriage and we were very explicit in asking his parents to keep it very quiet from his sister and brother in law (they are truly horrible people and would have gloated, and I just can't take it). So either they know (which they shouldn't) or are just crappy people who don't recognize me as a member of the family. Then, his mother tried to give him nonsense about Christmas (he called her to let her know that we wouldn't be coming this year because of everything that's been going on, she suggested that he just come without me). I'm choosing to laugh about how nuts they are, but it still hurts.

Anyway, sorry to be such a downer. I wanted to update you all. Hopefully I'll have some better news soon...

 

[flou]

Buttrfly sorry for the bfn. I am hoping it goes positive for you.

Callmeal I'm sorry you are going through a hard time of it. I really hope your cat gets better soon. I am glad you seem to have a supportive DH. His family seem rude. Its not fair for them to exclude you or treat you this way. One day you will have your own little one, try and stay as positive as possible (I know its hard) and it will happen. As my doctor told me recently you have been pg you will be so again.

 

[highhopes2013]

Callmeal - I'm so sorry things are so difficult at the moment. I hope your other cat recovers soon. Ditto what flou said about your hubbie's family, they don't seem very nice at all. Do you see them often? I would try to avoid seeing them if it were me. Glad your DH is supportive. Look after each other, I found my relationship with my DH really deepened after the mc- we leant on each other a lot.

Flou it's nice to see you back! Glad you are feeling a bit more positive. It's still going to be hard some days I guess u just have to go with how you feel.

Buttrfly any sign of AF yet?

Mrs duck and itsawonder what's new with you and the bumps?

Afm, it's getting close to POAS time...2nd jan. I've been trying not to symptom spot because the ivf meds mimic pregnancy symptoms so no point really. But I have been very tired, got blue veins on my chest that pop up and then disappear, waking up in the night to pee 2-3 times. FC!

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Callmeal I'm sorry about what you are going through with the limbo, your DH's family, and the cats. Like the other ladies said I am glad that your DH is supportive through everything. Don't ever apologize for the feelings you are having. We are here to help you through it!

Highhopes fingers crossed for your BFP! Will you test earlier than the 2nd?

Well AF is finally creeping up. She is being tricky because I see her streaking when I wipe but nothing full blown yet. I'm feeling the AF cramping though so only a matter of time before cd 1 is here. What an annoying cycle but thankful I am seeing the doctor on the 20th.

Hope everyone else is doing well and that you all have a wonderful New Years!

 

[MrsDuck]

I've been lurking lots just not posting much as been really busy with our house move.

2013 has been a really crappy year for most of you and I really hope 2014 is a much luckier, happier year for you all xxx

Come on bfp's

 

[CallMeAL1982]

Happy new year, everyone. HighHopes, good luck with your testing... hopefully it'll be a BFP!

Leslie, sorry AF is coming, but at least you're out of limbo. I'm glad you're going to see the doctor soon.

Flou, this will be our year.

Itsawonder and Mrs. Duck, so excited for you to welcome your babies in 2014!

AFM, the other kitty is doing okay, her snot is looking better but she's still super congested (and yesterday she puked all over my brand new down comforter, but hey, that's cats for you!). I'm on CD 35 and still haven't O'd. Do you think it's okay for me to have a small glass of champagne tonight?

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Happy new year ladies!
Callmeal I wouldn't say it is bad to have a glass of champagne tonight. You deserve to celebrate. Even women who are pregnant drink without knowing and are ok. I don't know if anyone else would think differently but that is my thought.

Thanks mrsduck ! 2014 will be our year to all get BFPs ( hopefully in the early part )

 

[MellyH]

Happy New Year everyone, I hope this time next year finds us all with happy squirmy babies in our arms.

I had a busy week in Cleveland with my husband's family, his mum was very interested to know whether we'd started talking about names etc yet It was a marvellous Christmas holiday though!

Our NYE party guests are about to start arriving, to help us ring in 2014 - oh I hope I have an easy time falling pregnant! Just over a month until we're going to start...

 

[highhopes2013]

Happy new year ladies!

I had a tiny bit of spotting this morning so I freaked out and did a test...BFP!!!!

 

[MrsDuck]

OMG OMG that is fantastic news highhopes whoo whoo congratulations! Hopefully this is the start of all the 2014

 

[highhopes2013]

Can't believe it! Still really worried about the spotting and now the new fear is that i could have another mc. Just hope this one stays with me xx

 

[flou]

Congratulations highhopes! Stick little bean! I'm sure everything is ok with spotting. Just your little one snuggling in.

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Yay congrats highhopes!!! Such great news! I think spotting can be normal for many.

Happy new year ladies!

 

[highhopes2013]

Haven't had any more spotting since then. Itsawonder and mrs duck how did you cope with the fear of another mc? I'm so so scared!!!

 

[MrsDuck]

I'm still scared now I'm still checking the toilet paper each time I go and I still haven't mentioned my pregnancy on FB, although everyone that has seen me obviously knows I'm pregnant with my now obvious bump. It's such a shame that mcs take some of the joy out of being pregnant

High hopes this is your rainbow, stay positive I had spotting with all of my pregnancies,I believe it's very common xxx

 

[MellyH]

Holy crap - hh!!! HOORAY!!!! Happy New Year indeed.

For myself, I would probably lean heavily on statistics to feel more 'safe'. You have really excellent chances of a healthy pregnancy.