Over 30 & still trying for baby #1

[flou]

Thanks Melly. This journey has made me realise I'm stronger than i think i am. But i do get moments where it all gets to me. I'm just hoping it won't be too much longer!

I'm moving house in a couple of weeks. We are moving in to my parents house for a couple of months before moving into our own house. Putting most of our stuff into storage. Trying to sort out storage units and sort out all our stuff is somewhat stressful. We've been in our present house for nearly five years and we have accumulated so much rubbish in that time! I swear it feels like we are chucking out half the house.

 

[MrsDuck]

I know how you feel on the moving front as I've just moved. You know what they say new house, new baby xx

 

[MellyH]

Do they say that? We are shopping for our first home at the moment, maybe it will all work out.

 

[ItsAWonder]

Flou - I wish I could snap my fingers for you and just make it happen. Three years is hard and of course you have your moments. You are in my thoughts.

Re: houses - we put ours on the market about 1 month ago to see if we could get any bites before the baby comes and, there is one house on the market we want to buy. I figure we will give it until mid-April. If we have not sold by then we will pull it and I can begin to nest. We also put a ton of stuff in storage so the house shows well so I hope someone snags it soon! We've had lots of lookers.

 

[MrsDuck]

Good luck for finding a buyer

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Flou I'm very sorry AF arrived but glad you are out of limbo. Will you take vit b next cycle? I agree with melly on how very strong you are going through this for three years. I really hope your BFP is right around the corner. It is not fair. Good luck with the moving and all. Will you do the same with ttc living with your parents for a bit?

Itsawonder good luck with selling your house and moving on to another! How are you feeling?

Mrsduck how are you doing? Is your scan coming up? You had a very odd fruit for the size of your baby but I didn't post in time... It was like a darian fruit or something I have never heard of haha.

Melly we moved into our new house dec last year and I got pregnant in march...it can happen! How are you doing in your cycle?

How is everyone else's baby bumps?
Hope lots of BFPs around the corner for the rest of us!

AFM spoke with doc on Wednesday and feel so much better. She didn't know much about supplements because she is an obgyn but suggested speaking with a urologist for DH or doing research. She told me going the clomid route is absolutely the best route to go. Because of our age and amount of time trying she wouldn't break the bank just yet. The clomid should give me better quality and more eggs that will hopefully give a better chance for the good spermies. Will also regulate my cycle a bit which is obviously needed at this point. Talked to her about my lube and although I conceived using it she recommended using preseed just during fertile days to give a better chancel we just started with that and so far It has been ok. As long as DH doesn't last too long I am good because after awhile I get the pelvic pain and it becomes tough. We both took off vacation days to spend time together and it happens to fall during fertile time ( as long as it is the same as last month!). So here's hoping the relaxing and more time to bd is helpful. I also talked to her about amount of bd ( every day versus every other )and position because I was curious. She seems to think that a lot of what I have read has been much if a myth and I should do what is comfortable and less stressful for me. I think that is it. But I do feel much better about things. Should get the results in the mail soon as well so I will be able to see the amount and everything else that I can't recall.
Hopefully clomid does the trick if my BFP doesn't happen this time around. I am just worried about side effects but can't do much about it.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend!

 

[MrsDuck]

I'm good thanks buttrfly, yes my last scan is Wednesday yay, I'm on maternity leave now so just preparing for baby's arrival I know! Some weird fruit and veg pops up on this ticker

I'm glad the specialists are looking after you well and giving you lots of advice, I hope your bfp is just around the corner

 

[highhopes2013]

Gosh I've missed so much! Sorry I've been so rubbish recently. Been feeling lousy and now to top it off I have a cold!

Flou I'm sorry AF turned up. It is hard staying positive. We were TTC for 3.5 years and started ivf after 2.5 years. When you do get that bfp you will treasure it so much because of what you have been through to get it.

Melly how's TTC going?

Mrs duck I can't believe you've had your last scan and are on maternity leave! Where did the time go?! And itsawonder 28 weeks already! Wow!!!

Buttrfly good luck with clomid. I hope it works for you! I was told I might need clomid but then because we had make factor issues as well we went straight to ivf. It's great that you are getting some help though, might be just the little boost that you need to get that bfp!!!

Hislo how's your bump doing? From what I remember you were on the same timeline as me?

Xx

 

[flou]

Thanks for all the words of encouragement ladies it just gets to me sometimes. But I do feel more positive today and looking forward to bding with DH soon as AF has finished. I am hoping we will be able to continue to ttc whilst staying at my parents as long as we don't feel too awkward! My parents know we are trying for a baby so i don't think it would be too much of a shock if we conceived whilst we are staying with them. And I hope it will be a case of new house new baby! Fxd!

buttrfly I am glad you seem to have had a positive meeting with your doc and good luck on clomid. I hope you get your bfp soon!

Melly I hope this month ttc goes well for you too and I hope you get your bfp soon!

Mrs duck I hope you are enjoying your maternity leave and your bump isn't too uncomfortable for you. It won't be long now!

How are all the other bumps doing?

 

[MellyH]

I can't believe MrsDuck is on maternity leave! That's crazy.

I'm CD12, about to head to the airport for a conference trip. Bad timing but we got some in on CD10 and CD12 so hopefully that's enough! But I'm not really counting this cycle because of all the travel, it's just nice to have had him home for a couple of days before leaving again!

 

[ItsAWonder]

So much going on here.

Mrs. Duck - I am dreaming of the day maternity leave starts and wish I was in Europe for this part of my life! I will start maternity leave when my water breaks and will only have 12 weeks off. About 6 of those weeks will be filled with visitors b/c, of course, everyone feels it's their right to visit when I am on leave. I look forward to seeing them but am stressing a bit about having enough alone time with my little one before going back to work. At least DH and I can rotate our schedules so the baby will always be with one of us and not in daycare right away.

HH - so good to see you back and cannot believe you are 14+ weeks! How do you feel?

Buttrfly - Thanks. I feel good just really tired. Second trimester was a nice reprieve. The start of 3rd tri is a reminder that it's going to get a bit harder. Overall though, this pregnancy has been a pleasure and I would not change a thing.

You know what "they" say about vacation days - they bring babies! Hoping the Clomid does the trick. It all sounds promising!

Melly - good luck with your travels and it sounds like your timing can still work.

Flou - glad you are feeling better. I bet your parents will be stoked if you conceive at their place. If nothing else, it will be a great way to embarrass your future child at holidays!

 

[MellyH]

How are you already third trimester?!?! That's crazy. Congrats. I hear you on the maternity leave though.

 

[highhopes2013]

It's crazy that you only get 12 weeks maternity leave! And you are in your third trimester already wow!!! Second tri for me and I have a terrible cold. Can't take and meds!

 

[ItsAWonder]

I had a cold in 2nd tri as well. Peppermint tea helped a lot. I also slept with pillows behind my head and back so I was in a reclined sitting position. Actually, it was a lot more comfortable than I thought it would be and gave me the ability to breathe.

12 weeks is a bummer, and it's unpaid. Parents are definitely not supported in the U.S.

 

[flou]

12 weeks unpaid and I thought we in the UK got a rough deal. We can get 90% pay for 6 weeks then it drops to something which works out about £500 per month but you can have upto a year off. You can get a better deal in other European countries though. I'm the bigger earner out of me and my DH so not quite sure what we will do when we get to that point (hopefully we will someday soon!)

 

[Buttrflyl553]

Wow mrsduck how time flies! So today is your scan ( unless I am off due to time zones, so not good with that). Let us know and post pictures! How much maternity leave do you get? Ladies in the US tend to work right up to their due date. It's great you can get time off early. I only get 6 weeks maternity leave ( 8 for c section I believe) and it is not 100% paid and of course and other time I have saved off from my paid time off. But 12 seems like a lot in a good way! I know you ladies are saying 12 isn't a lot. Stinks that its not be paid though.

Highhopes what a journey you have been through as well! Some tough ladies we have here. 15 weeks already. How are you feeling? What do you mean by make factor issues I'd you don't mind me asking? Will you find out the sex of the babies?

Flou that would be pretty great conceiving while at home! Good luck. Hope AF is just about gone for you. Grrrr to AF...leave us alone! Wow getting up to a year off in the uk sounds amazing

Melly I read your journal and it sounds like bd was at a perfect time! Hopefully keeping busy will help with stress of TWW and make time go quicker for you.

Itsawonder am I remembering right that you are a teacher? If that is the case with some of your time off be in the summer for you? I apologize I can't quite remember your due date. You will have to kick people out to get more time with DH and little one..they should understand

Hope everyone else is doing well out there! Are you out of limbo callmeal?

AFM I just ordered this from gnc for DH

https://www.gnc.com/Daily-Wellness-Company-FertilityBlend-for-Men/product.jsp?productId=2134277
Probably something like fertilaid. If you read the reviews some of them are silly but some seriously talk about the changes in sperm after taking, even with needing IUI etc. here's hoping!
Preseed is going better than I thought this month. I wonder if vit e suppositories are helping with pain..bonus!

 

[ItsAWonder]

Buttrfly - I am actually a Paralegal. If I were a teacher I would probably be bummed that my maternity leave fell over summer vacation! Honestly, I would love to kick people out to have time with DH but he will be so busy working I will need family help in July. We live in a tourist town and he owns a restaurant/bar. Poor guy works up to 20 hours a day during July and the first half of August. Luckily he will slow down by the time I go back to work so he can be with the baby while I am at the office and we can then switch off.

Re: maternity leave. You also have the right to 12 weeks unpaid. It's FMLA - Family Medical Leave Act which is a Federal law. (It also allows your husband to take 12 weeks unpaid if his company qualifies.) The partially paid time off of 6 weeks is NY state law, similar to Massachusetts which offers fully paid 6 weeks or 8 for a C-section. You actually get to choose between the two - FMLA or state. Most people choose state so they do get paid. However, if you can add vacation time etc. it may work out better to go with your state plan. Colorado, where I am now, has no state maternity or family leave.

Actually, my company is too small to even fall under FMLA. You have to have 75 full time employees, 50 of which live w/in a certain mile radius. Here, it's just me and my boss. Luckily he is a great guy and asked me how much time I want. If I need an extra week or two he will probably say yes but I know he will need me back as soon as I can make it.

 

[MellyH]

California state law has 6 weeks at ~50-60% pay (not my pay thought I think, maybe ~50-60% of minimum wage? And then another 6 weeks unpaid (one set of 6 weeks is disability leave and the other is bonding leave). I remember crying in my HR meeting when they were presenting that to me as a 'good' maternity leave policy (because there was ANY pay at all), having come from Australia where you get 12 months and I think at this point 18 weeks of that is paid at some level.

 

[highhopes2013]

Gosh I'm so shocked by the maternity leave entitlement in USA! As a teacher I get 2 weeks full pay, 4 weeks 90%, 12 weeks half pay and then around £500 per month for a bit and then an unpaid section at the end of the 52 weeks.

I did have to sleep in a sitting position one night! Think I'm over the worst of the cold but it has taken a whole week!

I have polycystic ovaries but our male factor issues are low speed motility/morphology....which is why we had ivf with icsi. It has been quite a journey!

Have any of you ladies with bumps found that your bump itches? Mine is driving me mad!!!

 

[MrsDuck]

You've been chatty girls

I'm self employed so not sure how long I'll take off
Yes you are right buttrfly my scan was today, I'll post a pic later although she's so big now meaning she's so close to the camera and little miss ants in her pants was constantly moving so the pics were all blurry

Buttrfly glad the preceed is going well and I've heard of lots of men taking those bits so well worth a try

Highhopes sorry that you are ill, I hope you feel better soon. Nope no itching so far with my bump, are you using lots of anti stretch mark cream? I've been slathering it on, maybe that has helped it not itch.

Melly it sounds like you are still in with a good chance of a bfp this cycle

Preggo ladies try and sleep as much as poss now coz I haven't slept more than about an hour at a time for a few weeks now with hip pain, pelvis pain, leg cramps and restless legs, night feeds should be a breeze compared to this haha