over 35 TTC #1. anyone? beuller?

[AnnieMac2]

I'm so glad you don't have any loved ones affected, Libby. So you live on a ranch? How big? That sounds cool.

Haha Corn, when I worked at a hospital it was so crazy how often I would just change from scrubs straight into pajamas. I felt like an inmate.

That stinks your husband was upset Libby. I tried to cover my disappointment, but last month (and this was the first time it ever happened) my husband couldn't finish on O day. It was weird and he was embarrassed and I was anxious on the inside feeling like it was a major missed opportunity. And I laid awake for hours. This shit is so crazy and ridiculous. I never thought we would be "one of those couples." I just watched this comedy where one of the women was obsessed with having a child and the movie was making fun of her timing up sex, etc. and I was so embarrassed just watching it. I just hide the crazy haha.

That's so funny about your dad. I'm not losing my mind over it or anything, but we have so many people scheduled to visit and the floors and contractor got pushed back until end of summer. We used to live in the attic apartment of our place to save money. It's just slightly bigger than a studio, so now we have entire empty rooms downstairs and no money to buy furniture. It looks like it should be condemned. The renovation is ultra expensive because this an old house. It's cool, but nothing is standard or cheap and we run into all these insane problems. But they are first world problems after all.

 

[AnnieMac2]

Oh and we demolished the kitchen when we thought a contractor could get in earlier. So we have no cupboards or counters lol. It's like camping.

 

[Libbystepof4]

Oh my goodness! You are roughing it!
Yeah we only have 48 acres right now. We hope to expand later on when neighbors move on or their kids dont want to farm, etc. We are working on fences and pasture right now. It takes a lot of time to establish a nice, thick pasture that will stand up to this weather and a heard of cattle. We dont even have cows yet. We will get them in the next couple of years. Fences take forever because DH insists on doing them himself so that they are exactly what he wants. He works a full time job as a computer engineer so he can only do fence when he has free time, which is never, really! I think he's going to end up doing a marathon fencing project over thanksgiving. We dont have the kids this year and I think nobody is coming into town.
I felt so bad that he thought he was disappointing me last night! Made me think I'm putting too much pressure on him. He says I'm not but he seemed to feel so guilty.
Going through a remodel is rough. Our house was built in the 40s by the dad of who we bought the farm from. He did the best he could and built his family a house. We bought the place for the land, not the house. The house is pretty much horrendous. We have started renovating literally one wall at a time. Its so expensive to do work and we just dont have enough to spare to do a big project. So it will get done one room at a time! We are probably going to put on an addition. The house has a lot of rooms but they are tiny with no closets. A couple of them need to be combined, really. One is so small it will become a hallway when we do the addition. Anyway, I'm sure you're terribly interested in the potential remodel of this tiny Texas farmhouse. Lol.

 

[Cornfieldland]

It is interesting Libby! It's nice to know a little about each other besides TTC. No one really talks about much else on these forms...because it's a open form so I get it. Glad your ok, Texas looks really scary right now, so sad! Such extreme weather. We just renovated our bathroom and that alone was contractor hell! One thing after another, our new sink is leaking after "Mario" installed it and says he needs a hundred $ part to fix it. It's never ending. We live in a townhouse built in the 80s so everything is made out of cheap crap. But it's in a suburb and feels safe and small lots of farms around, cornfields soybeans and cow manure.
Annie we are almost close enough to have a paint party...your a days drive away. I'll bring the music and vodka ; ) I would love to go to Newyork city...never been.

 

[Libbystepof4]

I think Mario just wants some more smooches!!
Had another anxiety attack last night for no apparent reason. Y'all I dont understand. There doesn't seem to be anything going on when these happen.
Well, I guess its TWW time! Exciting and stressful. And can't have a drop to drink. Its just not right. Lol
How are you ladies feeling?

 

[AnnieMac2]

I agree with Corn. I was all into hearing about your houses. I'm kind of a nerd though haha. FYI, mine is in a hipster (lol) sort of urban neighborhood with historic houses. We're kind of forced into doing everything as quickly as possible due to logistics too boring to go into on here.

But in the meantime, we are cash poor and that worries me. I'm starting to look at job ads. We were planning on me staying home a bit with kids. It happened quickly before, but now it's weird to sit around waiting to get pregnant. I guess I could get a random short term job, but I was wanting something more fulfilling and to not feel bad about quitting. I don't know. I'm worried about starting a new job when I'm panicking just being at home some days. Obviously, millions of people have jobs and manage anxiety (as I did my whole life until now), but I'm trying not to stress me and my husband out any more than we already are.

I'm sorry you had another attack, Libby. Did you decide to try the medication yet?

You definitely need to visit NY, Corn! There's nothing like it in US/Canada. LA, Chicago, Houston, Toronto - they all seem so low-energy in comparison! I was just telling my husband I wanted to go to Montreal, so invite Mario over and I'll stop in Ottawa

Are you ladies getting into the antsy tww mindset yet? I'm not looking ahead yet.

 

[Libbystepof4]

I am from middle Georgia, plantation country, and I love historic houses. I especially love plantation style farm houses and multilevel brownstone types. I lived in Chicago for a few years while I attended culinary school and I always dreamed of having a historic brownstone in the city and a farm out in the country with an old farmhouse. I love the city. I love the country. I want both! But where we live just doesn't work for that. We do have a condo in Austin, but we are about to sell it because we would rather have the money every month. The condo needs work and we never go there for anything so its just a financial drain right now. And its not cool.
They dont have cool old stuff in Austin. It is totally a hipster city and that drives me insane. The pretense of it is maddening to me. I can only speak about the hipster situation around here, obviously. But they seem to feel like they're anti conformity, but they totally conform to the "hipster" ways of dress, politics, socializing; and the attitude that a band or artist is not good anymore once more than 20 people like it is just plain idiotic to me. I mean,great if you knew about them before they were popular but maybe they're popular now because you were right and they really are good! Sorry. I just dont get it. I'm not cool enough to be a hipster in Austin! Lol. DH and I have a friend from college who is very much the Austin hipster and its totally weird because he used to be a laid back frat boy (in college). But his Instagram is filled with the weirdest food he can find and the most unheard of craft beer. He's a good guy, though, so he doesn't get the superior, judgey attitude that a lot seem to have adopted around here. Sometimes I thank god that I'm too old to worry about being cool!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. If you are a hipster, you dont seem like this bunch around here so please know that they are who I mean. I promise I dont generally dislike whole groups of people. Just everything in the city is built around this group and it makes no sense. I get annoyed with the extreme redneck element out here, but at least they dont try to force me to carry the same guns they have! Lol
Yes, I think maybe I'm a little TWW anxious. I'm thinking I will try this medicine. I thought maybe the attacks the other night might have been what I needed to shake it out but its sticking around. I'm gonna give myself a stroke if my blood pressure stays up like this!

 

[Cornfieldland]

I love love love historic homes with character! We have a 80s town house with popcorn ceilings...zero character. But I love finding antique furniture to paint.
Libby tww is hard without wine especially with anxiety...alcohol is my go to for anxiety. I think I'm bi polar.. I am sad and depressed ready to drive off a cliff yesterday and happy and energetic any things possible today. Poor husband!

 

[AnnieMac2]

Libby - what an interesting relocation history you have - cool places. I am sooo with you on Austin. I had a fun trip there once, but would get sick of it immediately. People pay a gazillion dollars to be there and be unique, but they all have their matching gauges, tattoo sleeves of ganesh, lotuses, koi, and any object Wes Anderson, and then the ironic sweaters. Is Savannah a good place for a trip? Love the look of it and was considering. So if you could open a restaurant (unless you already have), what style would it be? My friends are in desperate need of a chef to open and have free reign of their new restaurant, IF you could stomach Buffalo haha. It's rejuvenating in some cool ways actually and better than the snobby press it gets.

I'm so torn between cities and country. I am obsessed with gardening and want to open a greenhouse so badly. It is not happening in my tiny back yard. I'm thinking of opening a garden design/landscaping business, part time is fine with me so no pressure. Thinking I can make a niche with edibles in small spaces and vertical gardening. There's no space here.

I hear ya on 80s, Corn! But good taste goes a long way. I'm sure you can get creative with yours. I have this great old house and previous owners destroyed it with popcorn paint and everything cheesy anyway! We would like a brick one next time. When we got into wiring we found singed 1940s newspaper stuffed around bare wires! Every time the we hear a fire siren we hope it's our house (safely) burning down. We have good insurance haha.

So I jinxed myself, guys. I think Corn's and my moods are yin and yang. Had a massive meltdown an hour ago and my husband called and talked me off the ledge. My tww has officially begun! My drug is caffeine. If I could be wired on coffee all day, I think it would help with my blah moping around.

 

[Cornfieldland]

Aww...sorry about the melt down. I blame it all on hormones! My husband knew right away from my texts that it's "that" time of the month when I'm all over him and flirty he knows. He feels so used haha.. I think at least this month we are on the same page so it shouldn't be as awkward. Cd 11 here guess it's getting there should be O by weekend.

 

[Libbystepof4]

Oh you ladies make me feel better. Corn, DH is all "why are you grinning like that? You must be about to ovulate!" Haha! I'm not good at flirting so I get all smiley. It would probably freak other people out. Thank goodness DH loves me.lol
Annie, Savannah is a wonderful place to visit! The history and southern culture there is magnificent. It is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, in my opinion! All the way across and up downtown are these wonderful squares. (The park bench scene in Forrest Gump was filmed in one of them.) There are beautiful historic homes and churches and all sorts of things around each of them. There are museums and restaurants and River Street and shopping. I have been there so many times. I love it. Idk if you have any opinion about Paula Dean but her restaurant is there. A lot of people line up everyday to go there. I never have. There's no way her fried chicken is as good as my maw maws so I see no point. But that's me. Many people consider it a thing not to be missed. One thing you may not know is that Savannah is almost on the coast but not quite. Ships had to come up the river to do business and it actually became a beloved port of call for pirates! There are rumored to be old tunnels under the city out to the river that pirates used to escape capture. Let me know if you go there, I will give you some specific recommendations if you'd like!
I LOVE snow and winter and cold weather. I think I'm one of the few who might enjoy a place like Buffalo, but I can't go. DHs children are here and he would never leave them. I wouldn't either, to be honest. I love those monkeys!
If I could open a restaurant it would be comfort foods. It would be comfortably decorated without being fussy. It would have fried chicken, meatloaf, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, Turkey and dressing, Lima beans, big steaks, big salads and old fashioned cakes. It would make people happy. There are some places that attempt it but ive never been to one that I thought was really good or the food was good but the atmosphere was all wrong or vice versa. That's what I would do and it would be fantastic. Tell your friends to do that. If they could get the right mix of atmosphere and cooking, it would be amazing. I might have to go to buffalo and try it!
And you nailed it with Austin! They could not be LESS individual!
Your garden design idea sounds wonderful. I mean, think of all the people who would love to grow their own food right now but dont really have real backyards. You could help them figure out how to do it in the space they have! And even which things to grown for their taste and spa e! That would be so cool!
Corn, ive lived in many of those 80s blah places. They are like white sheets of paper. Draw whatever you want! You have the opportunity to turn it into any style, really. Do you own it? If so you can really make it individual! I would love something blank right now. This little farmhouse we have really is all quaint and won't accept any style of decorating but "cottage". I want a giant purple tufted velvet sofa! It would look ridiculous in this house! Haha!

 

[AnnieMac2]

I want a velvet couch too!! It would work here, but DH is really fighting me on it. I was thinking navy because of our furniture. But they're so funky, any color goes. Might as well do it up. I feel like there must be some sort of vintagey-cottage hybrid possibilities where purple velvet would be awesome. Idk how to describe the style at my place. My husband is obsessed with Room and Board. I have a bit of a "boho" tendency, as my friends say, so I guess the furniture gets warmed up with my textiles/art.

That's exactly what I picture Savannah to be like! Awesome. I have endless Jet Blue miles. Wonder how close I can get. I know you wouldn't want to leave your kids, but I throw that opportunity out to everyone haha. They are having a hard time getting talent to relocate and I know they have loads of $$. It's funny - they're hoping for comfort food actually but with an upscale/sophisticated vibe. Hard to explain. Should be interesting.

God I hate cold weather. I didn't intend on staying here. But I'm trying to make the most of it. I guess there are some crazy people that wind surf on the lake in winter. I'm intrigued.

So how's everyone holding up today? It would be amazing if this was our month. I'm not getting my hopes up, but it's gotta happen at some point. I'm probably not having sex often enough in the days leading up to O. Next month I'll do better. Oh my god, all this analyzing is INSANE.

 

[Libbystepof4]

Have they thought about contacting CIA there at Hyde Park? Its probably a gamble to find somebody right out of school. I say that remembering those I was in school with. Some of them started culinary school without even knowing how to cook rice. Not even exaggerating. I was flabbergasted. Comfort food is the way to go! The difference I have with them is the upscale thing. I think if you make it fancy, its not comfort. Think about every time you had to do fancy things with your parents when you were a kid. You go over to somebody's house for dinner. Their chairs aren't the ones you know. Their food is weird because it isn't what you know. The word fancy used to be synonymous with uncomfortable. Not to say that I would want it to be like somebody's kitchen table. I just mean not too far either way. Upholstery, not vinyl, seating. Well lit, but not cafeteria bright. Warm colors. Old photos. But that's me. That's what I would do.
We need to get our velvet couches. If you do a lot of boho, you can totally make velvet work! The thing that is appealing to me about a boho type style is the mix of pattern and texture. Velvet could slip right in!
I think if we get our addition done on the house, I will be making the hard sell for the velvet sofa. Part of the addition is a big family room. We have the worlds tiniest living room right now. I intend to take part of it and make an entry hall and use the rest to extend the dining room, which is also tiny. Then in the addition we will have our big family room with a giant purple velvet sofa!
Savannah is wonderful. They have a decent sized commuter airport there. You might be able to get all the way there with a connection.

So I got another +OPK yesterday. I dont understand what that means. I had one however many days ago, then negative for a couple of days and then positive again. Isn't that totally weird?

 

[Cornfieldland]

What cycle day are you Libby? I'm no expert but could it be another egg release...twin opportunity? Or I've heard that you can get a positive OPK if you are pregnant but I'm not sure how that works or how far along you would have to be. CD 12 here and looks like I'm getting closer to O...I'll have to get my husband in the mood and be extra nice to him We have a big sectional in our living room that seats 6,7. My mother in-law can only sit on one seat on the couch. If anyone is sitting there she stands there and doesn't know what to do. It's funny but annoying.

 

[Libbystepof4]

She's like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory! How awkward.
Time to hit lights and start smiling! (Ok that's just me and my bad flirting.lol)
Yeah I have no idea. I am on CD17 today so the other day could have been a fake out I guess. I think we will BD some more just in case. ;-) its not like its fun or anything! Haha!
I am so sleepy, y'all. I haven't been able to sleep the last few nights. I lay awake anxious. Then that makes me so tired I take a nap during the day, which only makes it all worse. So I decided I was not allowed to nap today and I am just plain loopy I'm so tired.
My boobs hurt. They do this sometimes the week before AF. Its a little early for that but I'm so confused about this whole thing I dont even know if I should hope this month. I wish I could take a couple of melatonin and sleep for about 15 hours.
How are you feeling Corn? Feeling good? Fertile? Let's do this!

 

[Libbystepof4]

https://www.hipstercrite.com/2015/05/22/dear-people-who-live-in-fancy-tiny-houses/

I'm sorry but this reminded me of our Austin hipster bit, Annie. This article could be offensive, but taken lightly it made me laugh!

 

[Cornfieldland]

Aww...Libby that was funny! It went well with my morning coffee and bagel ; ) I spent a lot of time in 500sqf plantation houses in hawaii and they r charming, but there is not enough space to put your $hit as it says.
Oh lord! I have a hot date with my GP to do a Pap smear this morning. He grosses me out so I don't want him anywhere near my crouch but it's been 3 years. I hate scouting my a$$ to the end of the table until my crouch is in there face and having a flash light up In there. And can we talk about the 3 sizes of speculums!? Why on earth is there a large medium and small? Just because I have had two kids doesn't mean you need to crank me open with the largest tool you can find. And I didn't know how to spell speculum and when I googled it they are on sale at amazon for 7.25. I don't want to know what kinky things go on with that!

Last night I fell down our carpeted stairs. I swear I flew like 10 feet in the air and landed hard on my left hip and slid all the way down rubbing the skin off my elbow. My husband thinks I'm a total cluts because it's not the first time I feel...but the worst. I'm so sore I can't even touch my thigh. But it did t stop me frm bding last night haha...and the whole time I'm thinking hmmm...I'm a few days before O and that means we should do it Saturday then maybe Sunday..not even thinking about the moment. CD 13 here...and no positve OPK yet...but EWCM had kicked it so it should be coming. My chemical through off my body I think a couple days.
Hot date tonight with husband at kareoke bar and co workers. My last change I think to have a couple drinks this cycle. Of course I get a zit on my chin, my face hates me...thank god for make up!

 

[Libbystepof4]

Yeah it seems like they want you to scoot until you fall off the damn table! Its been a year since my last one. They're calling to try to schedule me. I'm totally avoiding it. I didn't know there were three sizes of speculum! Jeez! And why do people want their own!?! Why would you buy that on amazon!?! I'm freaked out by that!
You better be careful on those stairs! You could break something! My goodness! Do you have handrails? Is the carpet padding too thick? I remember a house we lived in had really thick carpet padding on the stairs and it sort of smoothed them out a little, making us fall down them all the time. Luckily, they were padded so we didn't get too hurt! A lot of rug burns and bruises.

Ive got monkeys showing up this afternoon. I really should go to the grocery so I can feed them. I'm so tired. I dont want to go. At least their clothes are clean! Y'all, 4 year olds are assholes. Corn, were your boys assholes when they were 4? This little jerk (who is the cutest thing who I love and would literally jump in front of a bus for) thought it would be funny to pee all over my couch. Then, seeing how upset it made me, peed on the upholstered chair in his bedroom. Twice. He hits people and then lies and says they hit him. He will refuse to eat just to piss you off sometimes. This kid loves to eat and likes almost every food on the planet. He really is just doing it to piss you off. He makes me feel like some kind of lunatic. I fuss and he gets in trouble and it doesn't matter. He's a boulder with no fucks to give.What is that about!?!
Sorry, just preparing myself for the battle of wits with the small child. He's super intelligent and hilarious. And he's mean as a damn rattlesnake. Lol. I love him.

 

[Cornfieldland]

Omg...peeing on furniture! That's crazy...does he need attention or something? It's been so long since they were four I forget if my kids were a holes haha..mostly just defiant at times and pushing limits, tantrums. Of course my husband thinks if he has a child it will be perfect because he will lay the law down, and I didn't raise mine right. What Evers.. He will see when the day comes that kids have a mind of there own.

So back from my awkward Pap test...omg..so awkward. So he is like lubing up the speculum thing in front of me and the nurse is taking to me joking the whole time his fingers and tools are prying around inside me. I feel totally raped. And then while I'm in a paper vest and he's just finished examining me he says how's your blood pressure can I take it now! I say "No, no, no not right after you fingered me it will be super high" I think I have never had such a thorough fingering in my life, and not in a good way ; ) The one good thing is he is counting my chemical as number 2 miscarriage and referring to a Gyno. Thank god! A real doctor! Oh and he says with all the pregnancy blood work they do when your first pregnant they don't test for progesterone? Why not...if that causes miscarriages and can be fixed so easy. So annoyed with the Canadian medical system right now.

 

[Libbystepof4]

That seems so strange that they wouldn't just add that one in!
And I guess its good for them to be thorough, but yeah, idk. When I lived in Georgia I had a really amazing gyno who I just loved (considering) and I finally just told him they weren't allowed to take my blood pressure ever because it was an unfair representation of normalcy. He went with it because he knew I had regular checkups with my PC. I wish he practiced in central Texas. Ive never been so relaxed with several people in my crotch before. He was thorough, fast, explained what he was doing, and downplayed things so ya didn't get all stressed out. I had several abnormal paps and a colposcopy with him, and even though the colposcopy was like the worst thing ever, he tried to be supportive all the way through it.
My current gyno is like 800 years old and slow. Had to have a colposcopy with him, too. I'm lucky. DHwent with me this time and kept telling me to relax. I swear I almost strangled him. Lol

And yeah, he's just bad. He truly believes he should be able to do whatever he wants, despite being told and shown repeatedly that's not how the world works. He seems to definitely get the least attention at their mothers house, but with us he gets a ton. DH says he gets the most from me because he's little and I like him the best. I dont know if that's true. He needs me the most. That makes me feel good. I think that's kind of normal. The twins, 7, have ADD really bad, like REALLY bad, so they actually need Lot of attention, And the middle child is a born leader, just full throttle, high intensity, all boy. The little one is more laid back and cerebral and a real comedian. He is all boy, too, but he's able to reel it in a bit more than his brother. Their grandmother has to pay more attention to the twins to help them with things and to the middle child to keep him from exploding the house, so the little gets lost in the shuffle over here. Their mothers mother is the one who really takes care of them over there. Mom is always somewhere else. A whole other story.

Yeah your hubs is in for a surprise. Ive been littles step mom since he was one, before he talked, really. If they're are going to be jerks, then that's what they're boing to do. A parent just tries to teach them how to keep it within the boundaries of reasonable. Lol

Boobs hurt real bad yesterday. Idk what to think about all this two separate +OPKs. I probably read them all wrong. The second one was darker than the first. I looked up what you said and found that the OPK will show positive if you're preggers but not until much later than a HPT.
So DH keeps saying he thinks I'm prego. I think he just really wants it to be true. So do I.