PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[filipenko32]

Aww sunny, that must be heartbreaking, I'm sorry we forget just how much it must affect them too. . Do you get pregnant fairly quickly if you don't mind me asking? One thing that I think rescues us a bit is that each pregnancy seems throw away to my hubby when it can happen again in a flash. It used to upset me but he doesn't see them as babies at all, whereas I of course do. He says they never had 'potential' because they were doomed to fail so would never have been children. I let him think that as I think that's his way of coping even though I don't feel that way at all We're all here for you x x x x

 

[sunny74]

Aww sunny, that must be heartbreaking, I'm sorry we forget just how much it must affect them too. . Do you get pregnant fairly quickly if you don't mind me asking? One thing that I think rescues us a bit is that each pregnancy seems throw away to my hubby when it can happen again in a flash. It used to upset me but he doesn't see them as babies at all, whereas I of course do. He says they never had 'potential' because they were doomed to fail so would never have been children. I let him think that as I think that's his way of coping even though I don't feel that way at all We're all here for you x x x x

You are a special lady with all that you are going though at the moment, i would be a right old teary, moody mess, your strength is inspriational

I dont seem to have a problem getting pregnant 4 times in the last 3 years and we only really 'timed' it roughly once. I think i am more like your hubbys way of thinking, or maybe i have distanced myself from it as a way of coping, i think my boyfriend saw them more as actual babies, he wants kids so bad, i think i try to look from a more scientific view again probably to distance from the emotional side so i dont have to face it.

TBH i dont want to 'want' a baby, if that makes sense?? because it might not happen for me, so i just try and live for today and appreciate what i have right now, guess i'm still coming to terms with the pregnancy, until the first scan its not real to me...hmmm think they call that denial

 

[filipenko32]

I think that's a good self protection mechanism, I really hope this is your forever baby. We just have to keep remembering that we have more chance of being successful than not! X x x

 

[petitpas]

It upsets me a lot when people suggest our babies weren't meant to be. I know that not to be the case with rpl. In my particular situation I proven it with the genetic testing. If I listened to all the 'meant to be, baby was unviable' people I would not have saught further treatment and either have given up or ducky would have been loss number six.

Fili, don't ever give up looking for answers and trying to see whether you are on the right path! The more evidence you have, the more doctors will listen.
After my fifth loss I went to St Mary's (I had already been seeing them before) and their advice was initially to just try again on the same treatment. Then I showed them the test results. After a bit of silence they decided that yes, maybe the treatment wasn't enough, something else must be wrong.
So, keep on gathering as much evidence as you can, honey! And don't let your partner change what you are doing!

 

[sunny74]

I think that's a good self protection mechanism, I really hope this is your forever baby. We just have to keep remembering that we have more chance of being successful than not! X x x

thanks fili, i hope so too, you never know.
we have 'wanted' all the previous one so bad, this one we were'nt ready for so maybe its the one that will stick around

i hope you feel ok, have you given up hope or are you hanging on to it a lil bit? must be awful to be in limbo like you are, when is your next scan?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I know it's a different thing, but my most hated platitude is "everything happens for a reason". It is usually meant with kindness but it makes me so cross. Because I know it has happened for "a reason" but my problem is I want to know what fecking reason! Something hasn't worked and I want to put it right! They wouldn't dream of saying that to someone who had just been bereaved would they? I am actually thinking of writing a book about miscarriage. Not about the medical aspect, but the emotional.

 

[daviess3]

Can't find hb this morn! Scared I tried twice!!I no it's prob just moved I hope!! So I come out an gonna try when I get home?!! Hope everyone's ok xx

 

[filipenko32]

Sunny I've got no hope for this one but lots for the next! X x x

 

[filipenko32]

You should mrs migg, I'd buy it! But I'd expect you to post me a free copy on mates rates! X x x

 

[puppycat]

Wss ^ lol

 

[sunny74]

I know it's a different thing, but my most hated platitude is "everything happens for a reason". It is usually meant with kindness but it makes me so cross. Because I know it has happened for "a reason" but my problem is I want to know what fecking reason! Something hasn't worked and I want to put it right! They wouldn't dream of saying that to someone who had just been bereaved would they? I am actually thinking of writing a book about miscarriage. Not about the medical aspect, but the emotional.

Great idea, Can we all be in it? fame at last

Sunny I've got no hope for this one but lots for the next! X x x

You are amazing!!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Davies try not to panic! The little monkey must have just wriggled somewhere out of reach. I remember the midwife struggling to hear my baby's heartbeat on one occasion but it was there alright.

 

[daviess3]

Thanks mrs.m I had a can of coke tried again an found my monkey!! Yippee!! Was very hard to find today though! Must rem to chill out next time coz today baby was quite near left side surprised me how far over!!

X

 

[LeeC]

Yippey Davies xxx

"Everything happens for a reason"

I hate when people say that, why did I miscarry 9 babies and lose another to an ectopic along with my tube. No reason I can ever find and still on this miserable journey trying to find something that will eventually work for me despite being completely healthy and all tests clear.

Infact, why do any of us have to go through this time and time again.

The only thing I know is that these babies are going to be loved so so much once they arrive.

Sorry for the rant xxx.

 

[daviess3]

Oh Lee I completely agree hun, I hate it when after my mc people would say ah at least u can get pg!! Yh great!! Love it!! Not!!!!!
Everything happens gir a reason it makes u stronger!! Whatever it made me twisted an hate every pg lady sorry enough to b in my company lol!!! Leec my results have all been normal they got no reasons or answers for me either! I just hope this is my bubs!
You will get ur baby leec someone's just waiting to send u a really amazing special baby!! Chin up chicken xx

 

[filipenko32]

Oh Lee I completely agree hun, I hate it when after my mc people would say ah at least u can get pg!! Yh great!! Love it!! Not!!!!!
Everything happens gir a reason it makes u stronger!! Whatever it made me twisted an hate every pg lady sorry enough to b in my company lol!!! Leec my results have all been normal they got no reasons or answers for me either! I just hope this is my bubs!
You will get ur baby leec someone's just waiting to send u a really amazing special baby!! Chin up chicken xx

at the way you put this but I couldn't agree more!!!!

 

[filipenko32]

Lee I can't remember if I've asked you this but did you ever have one of those womb scans that check for endo and the like? Not sure whether I should get this done? St marys said no but....

 

[daviess3]

Thanks fili how u?? I had a scan at St Marys an the told me I had a slightly heart shape uterus but they weren't sure how bad so I was booked in for a hysterocopy but got fed up waiting for apppountmebt! So ttc got pg 2nd month!! They told me when you have 5 mc they automatically give u a hystrocopy but you can request one! X

 

[filipenko32]

Well one more then for a freebie lol! All my regular scans haven't showed up anything, in fact the scanner at st marys actually said the word perfect when she was taking about my results of the initial scan so they said I would only need one if I went for another d and c just to check all is ok but I'm not going to have a d and c. So... Did you have a Twix today? I had a cream egg, well I shared it with hubby but it wasn't a fair share as I had the small end they're soo good!

 

[petitpas]

Fili, I definitely think you deserved the bigger end