PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[Squig34]

How are you all doing?

 

[ttc126]

Hi squig!

I had a really good 12 week scan yesterday. Baby measured 8 days ahead... I keep telling them I ovulated early but it falls on deaf ears. They are keeping my due date despite consistently measuring ahead. Still spotting... so annoying. Still battling hyperemesis. But otherwise good.

How is everyone else?

 

[blueblue]

TTC, glad you had a good scan! Sorry you are still struggling with the hyperemesis and spotting, hopefully they will stop soon.

I'm 22 weeks now, can feel the baby is getting bigger as the movements are changing.

Squig, how are you and your little ones?

 

[julesmw]

I'm doing fine. I finally had my appt this morning. Lots of blood work, my 1 hour glucose test, and they put in an order for the level II 20 week ultrasound I missed. I also have to start appointments every two weeks. I will be third tri on Saturday.

Glad to see everyone is doing well!

 

[MissDoc]

Hi ladies, I'm very newly pregnant after a couple early losses, and it wasn't easy to get pregnant with my son, nor with this kiddo. So this super early pregnancy is making me a crazy person. I am insanely anxious and my symptoms aren't that strong. But I did get three beta draws that were a good confirmation. I've got three weeks until a scan. Ugh, this agonizing wait!

 

[Squig34]

22 weeks now Blue!!
Third trimester Jules!! Wow!

We are good thanks blue. Back to work in less than 2 weeks though. I know there are benefits & I'm looking forward to those, but I'll really miss my sweet rascals

Congratulations MissDoc. Hope all goes well for you. My symptoms weren't that strong with DD2, but she's here & healthy! So FX!

 

[julesmw]

Welcome, Doc! Sounds good so far. All of us PARL girls struggle with that, so you are well understood here.

 

[MissDoc]

Thanks for the welcome, ladies. For those of you who made it out of the “early days” of pregnancy, how in the world did you cope? I feel utterly useless, almost paralyzed with fear and sadness over the uncertainty. I feel like each little milestone will help (heartbeat, genetic screen, etc) but time is dragging so slowly and every milestone feels far away, and every little cramp makes me nervous.

These early days it feels like some cruel and twisted Shrodinger’s Cat experiment, not knowing if there’s a live and dead baby in there. Sorry if that’s a little morbid. It’s definitely reflective of how I feel. I miss the exuberant innocent excitement from when I was pregnant with my son, before I experienced any loss.

 

[ttc126]

Thanks for the welcome, ladies. For those of you who made it out of the “early days” of pregnancy, how in the world did you cope? I feel utterly useless, almost paralyzed with fear and sadness over the uncertainty. I feel like each little milestone will help (heartbeat, genetic screen, etc) but time is dragging so slowly and every milestone feels far away, and every little cramp makes me nervous.

These early days it feels like some cruel and twisted Shrodinger’s Cat experiment, not knowing if there’s a live and dead baby in there. Sorry if that’s a little morbid. It’s definitely reflective of how I feel. I miss the exuberant innocent excitement from when I was pregnant with my son, before I experienced any loss.

I’m sorry. It’s just really really hard. My whole first trimester has been worry worry worry...panick...puke and puke...worry. Horrible. I seriously think first tri after losses is hell. Just hang in there and try to take it hour by hour if you have to...

 

[Squig34]

MissDoc, sometimes I just wonder how I copied. From one moment to the next, I was up & down emotionally. It is just really hard. If you are a person of faith, pray. If not/also use techniques to reduce anxiety & distract your mind, like grounding. Read or watch a film to help take your mind off obsessing. But know that your feelings are so normal and that, while none of us can predict the future, there are lots of stories of success on this thread, so try to take some hope from that. I had weekly scans & it was still nerve wracking, even after just having a scan. But I got 2 rainbows after 6 losses in the end.

 

[blueblue]

Jules, glad you are doing well! Third trimester already!

Squig, thanks. Good luck with going back to work

Miss Doc, welcome! The first trimester anxiety is hard. I can relate to the Schrodinger's cat analogy, I feel like that too. Good luck with your first trimester and the wait until your scan. Squig's advice was great.

 

[julesmw]

I failed my one hour glucose test. I've never done that before. I hadn't eaten since Sunday night and it was Tuesday morning and I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I already felt a little off that morning, like my body was finally hungry and needing food. So now I have to have the three hour test next week.

The good news is that my bile acid test for cholestasis came back good. Hopefully I will avoid that problem this pregnancy.

 

[julesmw]

Doc - I guess the only thing I tried to do was stay busy with to-do lists and projects and when the worry would take over, I would remember something Tasha said years ago on this forum - be happy you are pregnant today and enjoy the now. It's hard. We all understand. I hope it goes quickly for you.

 

[MissDoc]

You all are very kind, thank you for the reassurance and support. I was spotting so my doctor checked my cervix, still closed. Did a scan but only saw gest sac and yolk sac. The sonographer made a dumb comment that it’s jusy 50/50 that it’s viable at this point, but my doctor said she didn’t have any expectation of seeing a fetal pole or HB yet and there’s no cause for alarm yet. Drew blood, and they’ll repeat on Tuesday. I think I’ve got some worry fatigue. Just like straight up exhausted from worrying, so that’s working in my favor today, as I seriously don’t have energy to worry at the intensity I have felt recently. Trying to appreciate and value each day of development as the little miracle that it is. Looking forward to the afternoon call about my blood numbers and even moreso to my Tuesday reassessment.

 

[Squig34]

That sounds right for your gestation MissDoc. Generally you don't see a hb before 6 weeks (it can happen at 5+6 sometimes, but a rule of thumb is 6+).

Jules, I hope you pass the 3 hour test!

 

[blueblue]

Jules, glad the choletasis test was clear, hope the next glucose test goes well.

Miss Doc, it does sound too early for a heartbeat, usually it's 6/7 weeks. Good luck and hope the first trimester goes quickly for you.

 

[julesmw]

Doc - how did your Tuesday visit go?

 

[julesmw]

I had the three hour test on Friday and while I passed three of the blood draws and not officially GD, I did fail one so am high risk for developing it later this pregnancy. (You have to fail two draws to have GD.) My doctor wants me to change my diet to high fiber, low carb for the rest of the pregnancy. She didn't say if she was going to retest later.

 

[julesmw]

I had my anatomy scan today. Everything looks good! The doctor is recommending to my doctor that I start weekly NSTs at 32 weeks, have a growth scan in six weeks due to my borderline GD, and not go past my due date. It feels like it's all so close now.

 

[blueblue]

Jules, glad your anatomy scan went well! Sorry about the borderline GD, hopefully it won't turn into GD. How many weeks are you now? 28/29?