Pansy & Mrsbroodypant.....and Lottie :-)

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Thank u for telling me the story about your mum. Lots of people have to deal with terrible things in their lives. Most people dont talk about it so i guess it happens more often than we think.

Its my nephews christening on sunday - not good timing. Im going straight from christening of a gorgeous baby to the hospital to take the tablet to stop my baby. Not good timing at all.

I went to work and didnt really want to be there but taught as enthusiastically as ever. Its so strange that no one knows what im going through and to them im as happy as normal. Im so glad no one at dancing does know though, it makes life easier.
I hope u havent been sick today? How have u been?
Xxx
 
That is really bad timing with the Christening, what a shame. That will be extra hard for you. At least it's family so they will understand how you are feeling. Will there be lots of people there?

It is lucky no one knows at dancing, at least that can offer you the chance of escape & you don't have to worry about people asking you how you are.

I wasn't sick yesterday & think I managed to drink a fair bit to rehydrate myself. I've been sick this morning tho, so I'm not in the clear yet. After my 5 days without it, I was hopeful I was over it.

What are you doing today? Hope you have something to keep you occupied. I've got to do some overtime at work this morning. My boss will be in, so that always makes the work take twice as long. She likes coming up with new tasks when I'm in the middle of something else!

xxx
 
Hi,
Hope u are ok at work with your ms. Your boss sounds annoying. So glad i dont work for anyone. Well done on the 5 sick free days! Thats brilliant.

Im going to visit my brother this morning (the one who has the baby who is getting Christened). I want to see them before Sunday and tesr how i react today
Im going shopping later to buy a new outfit for the Christening. I think that will help me feel a little better.
There will be 70 people on Sunday but i only know a handful of them. Hopefully i will cope ok

Xxx
 
Gosh 70 people is a lot! How did you get on at your brother's? Have you managed to find a nice outfit? How are you feeling today? You sounded more down than yest earlier. Completely understandable if you are.

Work was ok, although very tiring. My boss wants to have a meeting next week about what i want to do about maternity leave etc. i dont know what i want to do. Im a bit scared about the meeting, as i dont want to give up my job, but i dont actually have a contract as it is a tiny firm & she is a family friend. i dont think she would get rid of me, but maternity pay is a big expense for a small firm.

We then visited MIL, who has bought more stuff. Baby grows, a blanket & something else. She is saving the blanket & other thing to give us next time. Maybe that will stop her buying more (yeah, right!!) She said say if you don't like the "love your bump" top as it can go back, so I said I didn't. She didn't seem to mind. The baby wipes have arrived & it was actually 48 packs she bought!!

xxx
 
I went to my brothers house and had a few tears in my eyes but i was fine and when i held and played with my nephew i felt amazing. I thought a baby would make me feel worse but i just love children so much, they really help me! I got to see his little outfit he is wearing on Sunday. I do feel a bit jealous that they had a baby so quick an easily and we were TTC before they even got engaged but i love them so im happy for them as well of course.
I went shopping and bought a christening card. The shop had loads of 'its a girl' cards and balloons which i couldnt help noticing. I cant find a good christening present yet! I tried on loads of dresses but i looked a bit pregnant in most of them so didn't buy any except a nice black dress from Topshop for only £5! What a bargin, i couldn't resist, it was orginially £65! But i don't think i want to wear it on Sunday. I will need another shopping trip tomorrow afternoon.
I don't like shopping as you see so many crying bored children and stressed out parents shouting at them. I remember Christmas shopping whilst TTC and i was nearly in tears with the amount of parents swearing at their children. I feel like saying something to them but they would probably punch me lol and im not one for confronting people or speaking up really. Some people are just bad parents and take their children for granted.

I do feel a bit down today, but im not too bad. I can still laugh and joke and think positively about the future. I do think im a strong person.

As if your MIL asked about the "love your bump" top! She must of been reading this forum lol. I wouldn't of dared say i didnt like it...well done for being honest. And she order 48 packets lol. She is very excited! Have u seen that Asda advert with all the packets of wipes yet?

I understand a small firm wouldnt want to pay mat leave. Thats one reason why i couldnt employ anyone. If its a family friends firm, they will want to do their best by you. Im sure all will be fine. How long do u want off? When do u want your mat leave to begin? If u left the job, can u cope on your DH's wage alone?

xxx
 
I'm really glad your nephew made you feel better. That's what I love about kids - no matter how rubbish you feel on the inside, you always have to be happy when you are with them & forget how you're feeling. I loved that when I was volunteering as a TA.

Your dress sounds like a great bargain! Hope you manage to find a dress for tomorrow today. We're going shopping this afternoon too. My DH wants some new clothes - he likes clothes shopping more than me! No matter what he goes shopping for, he always buys some more jeans! He's obsessed with them! He must have about 20 pairs. I only have 3 that fit! I might look for some clothes as my work tops are getting a bit tight across my boobs, although I won't know what size/type to buy.

I know what you mean about parents shouting at kids being upsetting. I hate seeing it when I go shopping in Asda. I wouldn't say anything either, I'm too much of a wuss. Every time I saw someone with kids I used to think "how did you do that?" when I couldn't get pregnant. It comes so easy to soe people & then they not appreciate what they have got at all.

I had to be honest with my MIL. Because she loves shopping, if I said I liked it, she would have bought 20 more! Internet shopping is her entertainment as she is very disabled & can barely get out of her chair. I shouldn't begrudge her buying stuff for baby, but I do wish she'd chill. We had to tell her we didn't like another thing she & my SIL had picked out, a sort of carry cot that rocked by battery. Luckily DH told her that. It was £90 & we didn't think we'd need it. DH says we need her to know what we like, so she doesn't waste money on useless stuff.

I don't have a clue how long I want off or when I want maternity leave to start, this is the problem! Because we work with private schools mainly, the office is very quiet in July & August. I'm thinking this would be a good time to train someone else & to leave, before September, when it becomes manic again. I don't know when I'll be too big to work. I'll be 34 weeks at the end of Aug. I only started the Assistant part if my job a year ago & I love it, so wouldn't want to leave. As its part time, it coukd fit in with baby, if I can find someone to look after them. I think I want at least the usual 6 months tho. I don't think I would earn enough to make it worth paying for childcare. I will have to investigate it all.

Good luck with your shopping! xxx
 
Hello,

Hope u have had a good day shopping! I hope your DH didn't buy anymore jeans lol. My DH has about 20 pairs of jeans too but only actually wear a few of them. I only have about 3 pairs I like.
I went shopping after work and bought a dress in New Look. It's pale pink and really nice.
I was so hungry when i was finished that i made a terrible mistake and bought a KFC. It was horrible! They only do fizzy drinks so i got a Fanta but thought thats ok I just wont drink it or give it to DH later. But i remember KFC chips being chunky and nice and salty but they were skinny like mcdonalds chips but cold and just boring. The chicken smelt werid like it had gone off so i didnt eat that! Terrible food.....yuck! lol

Ive been so busy today that i havent thought much about the baby, expect a mother at dancing told me she was pregnant! Nightmare lol.

Anyway, im going to tidy the house now and clean as i have a feeling that the inlaws might pop round tonight. I better clean up just in case! Wish i had a cleaner like u. How is it going with the cleaner?

xxxxx
 
Hello!

I'm glad you found a nice dress for today. It's beautifully sunny here, I hope it is there too for your nephew. Are you a Godmother to anyone? I'm my nieces Godmother. I bought her a charm bracelet for her Christening present and each year on her birthday I buy her a charm for it. This year I've bought her a little fairy as she's having a fairy themed party. I also bought her a charm when she was my flower girl. What did you buy for your nephew in the end?

Did your PIL call in? My parents turned up unexpectedly while we were eating tea. They never come round without calling, so it was nice to have the surprise.

DH didn't buy some jeans but I did lol! I found I couldn't do up my loosest jeans yesterday, so decided to get some maternity jeans. I also bought some sensible flat shoes for work. DH didn't buy anything actually, oops!

Good luck for today. I hope you are able to find some enjoyment at the Christening & don't find it too hard. I will be thinking of you for later as well, I hope it's not too traumatic. As horrible as it is, it's a step you have to take towards being able to conceiving a healthy baby. That probably isn't any consultation today, but maybe it will be one day.

Sending you lots of hugs. xxx
 
I agree these are steps i need to go through to eventually get a healthy baby. I feel like ive taken a billion steps already whilst ttc etc. Why do some people get pregnant so easily!!

Im not god mother today but i am god mother to my niece and a little girl of a friend. I couldnt decide what to buy my nephew. Some typical Christening gifts are quite boring and never get used. Last time i was at my brothees house they were wanting to buy a puppet for my nephew lol. So i buy a few puppets! Strange gift but i know they will get used and be fun!!
The inlaws didnt call round. We watched BGT, had an indian take away and then went to bed.
Im glad u got some new jeans! They should last u now :). Might go nice with your "love your bump" top :) lol

I hope its another sunny day today. I love the fact that the weathers getting better. Makes me feel so much happier.
Have u started doing anything like sorting out the babys room yet? I was doing that in my head. We plan to decorate upstairs then we are a step closer when we get another bfp.
Xxx
 
Hi,

How are u?

The Christening was nice and i managed ok. But when we were sat in church my little niece who is only 4 asked "were u going to have a baby?" And i was trying to be strong so i replied "yes i was" and she asked "what happened to it?" To which i just started crying :-(. But i dont think anyone else could tell.
Then afterwards we went to hospital. It took a long discussion with a doc before i took the tablet as it felt wrong. We were scared incase this was a mistake and we felt so guilty. It was horrible. DH was fighting back tears as well.

What have u been up to? X
 
Hello!

How did yesterday go? Was the Christening ok? How was your trip to the hospital? How are you feeling today? I hope things are as well as they can be.

We took advantage of the free entry weekend at the National Trust & went to Stourhead, where there's a beautiful lake. We met up with my uncle, aunt, cousin & his pregnant wife, so that was lovely. I walked further than I have for ages, so things must be improving.

Your plan of working on the nursery sounds positive & a good way to feel like yoiure doing something. We have given the nursery some thought. We saw some beautiful bedding when we were at the baby shop on Sat, so we'd like to buy that, but will wait till baby's born sp we can choose the right one. We like Nojo Beautiful Butterfly (https://www.nojo.com/nojo_beautiful_butterfly.htm) or Ahoy Mate (https://www.nojo.com/nojo_ahoy.htm). Our house is a new build & is all magnolia, so we're just going to decorate with pictures, stickers & curtains, rather than actually painting yet. If I was painting, I'd probably just paint it yellow, and that seems too similar to magnolia to bother! We already have 2 chest of drawers from ikea that baby can have, we'd like to get the matching baby wardrobe, but ikea don't do it anymore, so we'll have to wait til it's on eBay near here. In my dream, the nursery furniture would be all white, but we have to be practical & make do with what we have got.

What did you decide about your classes today? Will DH be on standby in case you need him?

xxx
 
Just seen your message. Poor you, it sounds horrible. I can understand it feeling wrong. So hard to actually take the pill, but you have to trust that the doctors know what they are talking about. How do you feel now?

Sorry to hear about you being upset at the Christening too. You can trust 4 year olds to come up with such innocent questions, Glad you managed with most of it ok.

xxx
 
Our old 3 bed house is a new build and was all magnolia. We still own the house but rent it off. We did do a bit of wallpapering one wall etc..in a few rooms there.

Our new 4 bed house was built in 1971 and had funky old fashioned wall paper all over. Now we want magnolia!! We havent done any decorating upstairs so need to do all the bedrooms and DH really wants us to move into the back bedroom as it overlooks the garden. We also dont have a bath!! Id love a bath but the bathroom is really modern so its a shame to change it when it was the best part of the house. In our old house we had a bathroom each! So we lost out there but we wanted to move location.
Also we are on a corner and have a large strip of land at the side of the house which we own but its outside of our garden fence. When i cut the grass i have to go out in the street to cut that part! We want to get planning permission to move our fence out and eventually build on the side of the house to get an en-suite and bigger rooms. So we have plenty to be doing :)

Im feeling ok today thanks. Nothings happened yet from taking the tablet.

Im glad u had a nice walk and chose some baby bedding. How cute! Cant wait to find out if you have a boy or girl :)

Xxx
 
We've always lived in magnolia houses & have never decorated. Our flat was a new build too. I'd like to put wallpaper on a feature wall in our bedroom, but DH says that we'd never get the plaster as smooth again, so wants it like it is. I will have to satisfy myself with patterned curtains. We have pics up everywhere too.

When we were looking to buy ths house we were considering places to do up & add to. This was the only new build we saw (it's a one off, not on an estate). I'm glad we went for this one, as I don't think we'd have been very good at doing up hoses. I'm not much help, even when I'm not pregnant. When I was 21 I developed ME or chronic fatigue syndrome as its also called. Have you heard of it? It means you feel like you have flu all the time & are exhausted & achey constantly. For several years I was basically housebound. When I met DH I could only go out if I was in a wheelchair. A lot of our early dates involved lying on a bed together watching tv! I have been gradually getting better & when we went on honeymoon it was the first holiday I had been on without my wheelchair. Now I can walk fine, but I get more tired than a normal person & have to be careful. DH has never known me at full health. He is so understanding, helpful & generally a complete star. He does far more than he should have to around the house considering he works full time. (The ME is why I only work part time) He looked after his mum growing up & he is incredibly understanding. I don't think I could have been with anyone else. I'm so lucky to have found him.

I dont normally tell people about my ME now, as I don't like being judged by it. Also, because I'm almost better, I don't want people who haven't seen me at my worst to think this is all ME is. It gets enough stigma as it is. People wouldn't guess there was anything wrong with me if they see me out, it only affects how much energy I have left when I am at home. People don't know how much help DH gives me. I always thought I would have children at 28, but it was only last year that I felt well enough to try.

Your house plans sound really good. What do you use the spare rooms for at the moment? One of ours is the computer/guest room & the other recently became my sewing room. Thats the one baby will have. It also full of books that will need re homing!

Hope you're still feeling ok & not too nervous about tomorrow. xxx
 
Thanks for telling me about your MS. I understand that it is hard to tell people what you have been through and it sounds tough. You obviously have an amazing DH to have understood your situation when you first met. Many people are far to vain to understand. It must of been difficult to have needed a wheelchair. One of my DH's friends has MS but i have never seen him in too much discomfort, he must be recovering like u or just not affected as much. He is about 55 so it may have been more of a problem at some point in his life. I understand feeling exhausted and fatigued as my brother has a condition where he feels like that all the time. He can't do much without needing to rest and can't work full time anymore now. My DH has an immune system disorder and when he gets poorly in anyway e.g a cold or a cut, his immune system starts attacking his kidneys. His kidneys could fail eventually but it doesn't affect him much day to day at the moment.
Im glad you have got a cleaner, now you are pregnant you need to look after yourself even more.

We have our bedroom, two guest bedrooms - one with single bed and one with a double bed. The other room is like an office with computer and desk. Our short-term plan is to turn one of the rooms into a playroom for our child/children until we eventually build on and have a playroom downstairs. We can't even think about building until 2016.
Our real dream would be to build our own home. Im quite good at helping DH do DIY. I might be little but im quite strong lol.

Im getting scared about tomorrow now. But when i think about having children in the future then i get excited lol. Hopefully i will have healthy children in my future.

xxx
 
Im so scared this morning. Ive got light period cramps now and light pink on toilet paper :-( thats so sad. I also feel really sick.
Hope your ok xxx
 
Poor you. Even though its meant to be happening, I'm so sorry it is actually happening, if you know what I mean. When do you go to the hospital? Stay as brave as you can, you will have DH by your side to support you, it will all be over by this time tomorrow, and then you can get on with the next step. Hopefully it will be your last trip to hospital for a while.

Best of luck, I will be thinking of you & sending you positive vibes & hugs. xxx
 
Thanks. We went to hospital at 8.30am. Just had 4 tablets put inside me and now need to wait......
Xxx
 
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