Pansy & Mrsbroodypant.....and Lottie :-)

[Pansy]

Thanks for ur message. After a long labour, our baby was born at 0:59 this Am. A little girl! We are absolutely exhausted but so happy!

I will tell you full story when I have regained some sleep. She weighs just under 8 lbs. She & I both had temps so have to stay in hospital for a few days.

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello mummy Catherine,

Congratulations!!!!! To you and Trevor on your little daughter. Such lovely news.

I've been thinking about you loads and was also thinking you would have a girl .

Can't wait to know her name
And to hear your birth story. Obviously there is no rush as you are tired and busy. You have an important job to do now

I will be here waiting whenever you are ready.

Lots of love to all your family

Xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

P.s as if she was born on her due date!! And as if you have been calling her a 'he' all this time lol.

Xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Just to let u know that I am thinking about u. Hope u are enjoying being a mummy! I bet it very hard work.

Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

I've really been wanting to write to you, i have missed our daily chats, but I just haven't had the energy. I am still feeling unwell from the whole hospital ordeal & am finding I have v little strength.

We were finally released from hospital on Wed eve (I am assuming today is Fri?). Lottie was discharged from being under special care 48 hours after birth, but I became severely anaemic having lost 2 litres of blood at birth. I had to have a blood transfusion on Tues. I hated being in hospital as I couldn't sleep at all - basically no sleep from Fri til Wed. I was weak after the birth & on iv antibiotics (I don't know why) & couldn't cope at night when T wasn't there. I think the lack of sleep is still a big part of why I feel ill now, although the anaemia will take some getting over.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I will hopefully be able to explain it more clearly one day. I had a forceps delivery as Lotties temp was high - that is why she was whipped off to Special Care as soon as she was born. She came back to us a couple of hours later, but received care from them on my ward. She had her arm bandaged & an iv drip in for the first two days. She is fine now. She is breast feeding like an expert! T put her on me in the fit position (lying down on bed) and off she goes! He is doing all the nappy changing & generally being a star. We are both totally besotted with her. She is such a good baby!

My parents have been round every day cooking meals & helping with washing & ironing. I'm so glad they are here. Today we have to go to get her weighed. She had only lost 4% of her birth weight on day 3 so everyone was really impressed.

How are things with you? I'm looking forward to hearing your news.

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hi,

Sorry u have had a hard time in hospital and that u had forceps delivery. That must of been scary!

Im glad u are all well and T is being such a natural daddy. It's also very good that your parents are around to help u. Just what u wanted .
I saw your Facebook pic of Lottie and she is beautiful! ! Perfect looking baby girl and I'm not just saying that, it is true!! U must be so proud of her.

I got positive opk yesterday but me and R are not getting on well at the moment . I'm getting so jealous all the time. He keeps going on nights out with work friends which some are female. He is doing it more and more so I have been accusing hin of cheating on me. I don't think he would cheat but its how I feel sometimes. He is still passionate towards me and says he wants to be with me and no one else. This year is just a nightmare. I looked at his Facebook and phone and although he has some messages off work women they are actually talking about work and all above board with no kisses or anything to worry about. I guess I just feel insecure coz of whats happened with our loss and not getting pregnant again. I hope i don't have anything to worry about anyway. Sorry to moan when u just had your baby. Sometimes its nice to hear an honest opinion without having to talk to anyone in 'real life'.


Hope u manage to get enough sleep
Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

I'm really sorry I haven't written, I've been a crap friend. It's just really hard to concentrate on writing. I'm still not feeling well with the anaemia, plus the lack of sleep isn't helping me feel more human. Lottie is trying to achieve a world record for the most breastmilk a baby can drink, which is quite tiring!

How are things with you now? I hope things are better with R. I'm sure it's just the difficult month for you that is making you think the worst about him, I'm sure he would never look elsewhere. I hope you've been able to talk things through. It must be a really difficult time for you both & you need to support each other though it.

How is everything else with you? My little Lottie-monster is crying again, so I'm going to have to go & feed her once T has changed her. She hates having her nappy changed - screams every time.

The midwife thinks I've got post traumatic stress after the difficult birth & hospital stay. I keep having flashbacks of certain bits & getting upset. I think "please make it stop" regularly, and have to remind myself it's all over now.

Hope things are better with you.

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hello,

It's lovely to hear from u. I totally understand that u won't be able to write as often but i keep checkng because i like talking to u.

Sorry u are having flash backs and that the MW thinks its PTS. That must be hard. It is still so recent and with time im sure u will think about it less and less. You have a beautiful baby now!!

Things are better with R and I. I am feeling better about everything and was not thinking too much about my loss but then something horrible happened.
On Fri night I was invited to a friends house (H - not a close friend) for pizza and drinks. My friends Jodi and Suzanne went too. I had a magraine all day and almost didn't go but wanted to make an effort and not let anyone down so i went. Jodi and Suzanne have children but H doesn't and has never wanted any. Anyway, about half an hour into the evening she pops the non-alcoholic champers and announces she is pregnant!!!! I just wanted to cry. I could tell J&S were shocked that she was doing this infront of me. She said, she doesn't know if its the right decision and she might be making a massive mistake! I felt soo hurt! I'm happy for her but i would of rather of not been there for the happy announcement! How insensitive! I held it together and acted all happy but was dying inside. I had to eat pizza and stay for a few hours of pregnancy talk and it was killing me. What sort of friend does that? She is not maternal so i guess she doesnt have feeling for her baby yet, so maybe she doesn;t understand how much it hurts me but she knows what happened and sent me flowers in April which was lovely. Suzanne was giving me a lift home and i just cried when i got in her car. She understood and knew it must of been hard for me. When i got home i cried like a baby. R wasn't impressed! He was mad at me for getting upset. I don't think he gets it. He thinks i am jealous of H but i actually don't care if she is pregnant, but that evening was so painful. R didn't understand what it felt like to experience that evening. Can u believe that she did that? I wish i hadn't gone. Even if it was something less important like a house for example.....If H dream house had fallen through and i had just got my dream home, i wouldn't make a big toast about it because it would hurt her feelings.........but this is a child we are talking about! I feel so mad.

Sorry for telling u all my problems lol. I feel like i can tell u.

I'm glad Lottie is drinking well. Is she good at sleeping? How is T finding it? How long til he goes back to work? Do u get lots of visitors?

I hope u are all well xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

That was really horrible of H! How insensitive can someone be?! V odd thing to do when she knows what you went through. I hope you've managed to forget about her insensitivity now.

Lottie had a not v sleep full night last night, so we are staying in bed today. She normally sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time & takes about an hour to feed when she wakes. Normally she wakes about 3 times a night. Last night she woke at 11, 1, 2, was awake from 3 til 5, then again at 5:20! Then finally at 8, before sleeping till 11. It's harder now T has gone back to work. He was doing the nappy changes & I did the feeds, but now I do it all & try not to wake him. Luckily I have nowhere to be today, so I'm just resting till T gets home at 3.

T has been amazing with her. I knew he'd be a good dad, but I didn't realise how amazing he would be. He's so soppy with her, he makes up songs to sing her & talks to her constantly. He says he misses her when he's at work. He had a huge part in our success with breast feeding. He would put her on me when I was too weak. (Oh dear, a dirty nappy is in progress!!) He is really encouraging with the breast feeding in public. So far I have fed her in a restaurant, the car lots & on a bench by the side of a canal! It's weird how when my nipples looked normal I kept them hidden, yet now they look freaky I get thm out in public all the time!!

We have kept visitors to a minimum as I've been feeling so weak. My parents have been round lots, but they cook & clean. We've seen T's sister & mum lots, but the kids only once as they need more energy. My cousin brought baby Esther round on Sat - she is 6 weeks older & looked huge in comparison. Lottie was fascinated by 3 year old Isla.

I had better go & change her nappy. She still screams like we're torturing her every time it's changed!

Hope things are good with you. Not long til Nov now - when is your FS appt?

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hi,

Sounds hard work but it will get more rewarding everyday.

My appointment is on 14th nov. Im cd30 now and 12dpo. I can feel af coming tho . If she doesn't arrive then I will test Sunday but I bet she will be here soon!!

X

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

No af so I tested and BFP!!

clearblue PREGNANT 2-3 weeks!


Xxx

 

[Pansy]

OMG!!!!!! Congratulations! How exciting!!!!!! I just logged on cos I wondered if you'd had any luck! I am so happy for you! That's brilliant!!!!!

How are you feeling? What was R's reaction? Was he with you when you tested? How many times have you tested? When's your due date? I know it will be a worrying time for you til you have your 12 week scan, but try to relax & enjoy it & believe everything is ok. (I dreamt I said that to you today, how weird!)

Oh, I'm so pleased for you. xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Thank u so much!!

Im really pleased and going to try to stay positive. R says don't get too excited though but he is v happy. I was at a party last night and on my way home I stopped at a tesco to buy a test. I was took it at 5am (4am) coz I really needed a wee lol. I told R straight away and then we went to sleep lol. It feels brilliant to have a second chance.
My date due is about 5th July 2014.

I feel different from last time. I had a temp implantation dip and no spotting. I've had headaches feel tired and hungry. I was sick twice yesterday! Could of been nerves tho coz Im scared, excited and everything all in one. I want this so bad yet im frightened as well.

How are u? How is Lottie?

The lady from my dancing had a girl too. She called her Ella.

Xxx

 

[Pansy]

How funny that you went back to sleep! Did it seem real when you woke up again?

I think you have to get excited, cos being excited or not is not going to change anything, so you might as well be excited! But I completely understand you being nervous too. Your signs all sound good though. Quite early to be sick, I didn't start til 5 weeks after last period (I forget, is 2-3 weeks time since period or time since implantation?), but you said you wanted morning sickness! Are you going to tell your mum? Hope you don't mind I told T and he is sending you his best wishes too.

Lottie is good - she had a good day yest, after a bit of a grumpy day the day before. I think I slept about a total of 9 hours last night, which was fab. (I was in bed for 13 hours!) L is currently choosing a new comp with T - I can hear him chatting away to her about all the options!

I still feel a bit like I'm falling apart! My stitches have started hurting again for some reason, I have thrush (never had it before in my life) & my nipples hurt, but other than that I'm good! I'm having less flashbacks, so that's good. Each time I think of anything horrible, I force myself to think of a Xmas present for L instead!

I'd better stop abandoning my DH & child - I can hear T telling her she doesn't want food, which no doubt means she does - she hasn't fed for all of 30 mins!!

Still so excited! xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

When we woke up I asked R to pass me to test to check it as it was on his bed side table.
2-3 weeks is from implantation. Im 4weeks 4days lol sounds so little.

Sorry u are still feeling not yourself. Looking after a baby is hard work but u are doing a good job.
Xmas will be lovely for u with Lottie and my xmas should be a lot better now too. FX

Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

How are you feeling today? Any more sickness? How's your sense of smell? Does food taste different?

I'm doing a feed then going back to sleep for another hour I hope. Lottie & I spread out our sleeping!

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Thats the best way to do it, sleep when u can

Im ok thanks. No sickness. I feel very tired. Food is the same so far. Maybe its too early for many symptoms. Im scared of not having symptoms tho after last time.
Know how lucky I am to be pregnant again and especially for October. It is making October a happy time rather than sad. Just hope so much that this is a healthy baby.

Xxx

 

[Pansy]

Unfortunately Lottie had other ideas & was awake all morning! There goes my lie in! Never mind.

It definitely early for symptoms - loads of people wouldn't even know they were pregnant yet. I just remembered the smell & taste thing were my first symptoms, so wondered if you had them.

There's every chance this will be a healthy pregnancy. It's amazing to think you've got a little poppy seed size ball of cells in you growing now! I keep imagining a little baby surrounded by rainbow coloured light!

Have you been affected by the storm? T said there were loads of branches down on his way to work at 5am. It was definitely noisy in the night!

Are you going to tell your mum or keep it secret from everyone?

xxx

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

I love your new ticker!!

We are not going to tell anyone. I'd like to tell my mum but R doesn't want me to. We want to wait til after scan and blood test etc. If we can get all that done by xmas, then we will tell family on xmas day! I might wait til 20 weeks to tell friends if I can hide it well enough. Hopefully I will get that far!

We haven't been effected by the storm. A little bit of wind but not enough to keep u awake or anything. The weathers rubbish now tho. Keeps raining all the time. I really need to cut the grass once more but don't get chance.

We have done lots more DIY and its very nearly complete now. It will be finished by the end of 2013!!

Hope u have had a good day despite the lack of sleep xxx

 

[Pansy]

Hello!

Why does my daughter not sleep?!! I'm not complaining really, cos she is lovely, but she would seem even lovelier if I'd got more than 5 hours sleep! Oh well, maybe tomorrow!

That's really good that you've done loads of the DIY. It'll be good if you can get it done by the end of the year, as hopefully you'll have other things to concentrate on after that! Youll have to be careful with paint & chemicals now, maybe your mum will guess? If you feel you need to tell her, R will have to let you, as it's your body that's going through this & your mum can give you extra support.

I'm aiming to visit my parents at work today. They get Lottie withdrawal symptoms if they don't see her for a few days! They'd also like to show her off to their colleagues! It will be the first time I've taken her out on my own. I wonder if we'll manage to make it out of the door!!

Apparently I can't even manage to finish a post!! Wrote this earlier. I did make it out - v impressed with myself for coping on my own! All their colleagues thought Lottie was v cute. She behaved well - slept the whole time! She's been awake since of course!

Have you had James today? Hope you're coping with the tiredness. Have you rung the dr to get booking in appt?

xxx