Poll for those who FF

[stephx]

Why is there such a need to find out how other people feed there child? Does it matter to you why other people FF?

I'm sorry but there are millions of these threads and it all ends up the same way! Some people BF, some FF... For different reasons and no-one should have to try and justify themselves to satisfy someone's curiosity

 

[3011busyyear]

I'm a young mum and I FF but I certainly don't live in deprivation, nor have I ever. I didn't really want to BF I don't want to justify myself, but I'm happy to say that it's not from lack of education or poverty..

oh yes this is an example of what i mean. I've had midwives say to me they promote bf because of this image of a young, deprived, uneducated mum who thinks bf is almost unnatural!. but my point is in reality this group must be a tiny proportion of people having babies. most people regardless of their age, wealth, education or other reasons make a decision based on what's best for them and their baby and if bf doesn't work i certainly feel like i'm being judged no better than this tiny proportion of mums. the post was just to see if others feel the same.

 

[Nic1107]

.

 

[peanut56]

Long story short:
Hana was born with jaundice - was told by medical staff I "had" to give her formula so she could pee and poo it out of her system, so I did. She stopped accepting the breast, no matter how I tried, she just wasn't interested - she would scream and I would cry. Tried for 3 weeks, and expressed, finally gave up completely after about 4 weeks.
Still carry a tremendous amount of guilt about it, but I'm starting to move on from it. I now know that if my future babies are born with jaundice, I don't "have" to give them formula.
I am in the minority where I live - everyone else I know BF's. It's hard, I feel judged and I feel like I failed her. But there is nothing wrong with FF - even before this happened to me, I would never have judged anyone for FF, regardless of their reasons.

 

[alibaba24]

i FF Because I was advised Rosalie would gain more weight while in scbu . . which she did also my milk dried up there just wasnt enough stimulation to keep in going while she was in scbu x

 

[Noodles]

I had post birth complications which meant that everytime I breastfed I either passed out or almost passed out. I'm going to try and breast feed my next one.

 

[zoe87]

I FF because I felt more comfortable doing so, I know alot of people BF and in ways id wish id tried to. I know i dont have to justify myself to anyone but i do get the impression alot of the time that BF mums look down on FF fed mums and this shouldnt be the case. Its the own persons personal decision how they feed their baby,

 

[bathbabe]

I FF from birth because after having lots of talks with my partner we both decided thats what we were going to do.
My partner has a disability and we thought that FF would be the only thing he would be able to help with. As it turns out he can do plenty more but i dont feel bad for not BF.
BF here is rammed down your throat at midwife appointments. Even after explaining my reasons and choices i was told "we cant talk about formula" and handed a breastfeeding dvd
With any future babies i will attempt BF but if it doesnt work it doesnt work, im not gunna beat myself up about it, nor will i ever feel guilty about MY choices as to how i feed MY children, why the hell should i? In the grand scheme of things its such a tiny part of their lives.

 

[3011busyyear]

Why is there such a need to find out how other people feed there child? Does it matter to you why other people FF?

I'm sorry but there are millions of these threads and it all ends up the same way! Some people BF, some FF... For different reasons and no-one should have to try and justify themselves to satisfy someone's curiosity

I think the thread is going quite well for a change

i know what you mean, it shouldn't matter how other people feed, but as many of the posts have shown people who couldn't bf for whatever their reasons do feel an immense amoiunt of sadness, guilt and other negative emotions and i know for me it does help to know i'm not alone. the current way of discussing feeding options for mums to be is obviously not working for a lot of us and i just wondered if it had anything to do with how it's promoted.
i did the poll to see (as it seems to be showing) that the majority of people ff do so for other reasons than the medical professions are making out, i wasn't just being nosey, thought a poll might be better for those who wanted to vote but not feel they wanted to comment or justify their response

 

[naderz]

Throughout my pregnancy i wasnt so sure on the idea but wen he was born i had a total change of heart. I tried but Noah wouldnt take to me at all.

i tried for 2 hours after he was born then had to be brought to theatre for suitering. 2 hours later i was brought back (4 hours after Noahs birth) and because he hadnt been fed plus he was 22 days early his blood sugar was so low he had to get a bottle FAST. so fast neither me of oh got to give him his first proper feed. i expressed but could only get a few mls.

i aput him to the breast before each FF for about 4/5 weeks.
He only ever got about 3 proper feeds off me. longest being 30mins.

I cryed for about 6 weeks solid that i failed.

I just keep telling myself that at leased i tried. but i would love nothing more than to breast feed my baby.

 

[Noodles]

I think the thread is going quite well for a change

Don't jinx it

 

[bky]

It really is about the health systems writing cheques that the support system can't cash. I had to FF (combo feed) for 7 months, though we are now just breast (and FF at nursery). I'd say from people I've talked to and things I've read that mostly 2 out of 3 people who FF do so because BF didn't work out for them. If you look at initiation rates in hospitals you can see that many people do give it a go.

It makes me very angry that women are made to feel so badly (generally by other women). BF has been out of the 'norm' in some countries long enough that you basically have to be very well educated about it to succeed (or very lucky and encounter no problems or unhelpful medical staff).

A lot of the pro BF push makes it seem like it's very natural, and natural =easy right? Well, living without electricity is natural too, but that's hard and you need to learn how to do it if you aren't used to it (esp if you live in a society that doesn't support you correctly!).

The only thing I think about those who chose to FF from the outset, well I'm incredibly jealous of you that you didn't have to cry every day for months and months at your inability to do something you wanted to do. I'm also of course happy for you that you didn't have to make a choice out of desperation. No one should have to do that.

 

[hajis-sweetie]

I actually think this thread has a nice tone to it. I know many of these can end in a riot, but so far so good here!

I don't think people are posting because they feel the need to justify how they feed their child, they're just answering a question.

For those mummies who feel guilty/upset for no longer BF, please don't. You did your very best and sometimes things just don't work out the way you want.

I answered medical reasons. Lo has tongue tie and I hurt my neck during labour, which meant I could not see her properly and I lost quite a lot of blood. This, coupled with tongue tie/bad latch made it near impossible to feed, very painful. Her tongue tie was eventually cut at 12 weeks and from then on she literally scowled at my boobs when they were offered! I beat myself up BADLY about not BF for longer, felt like such a failure. I held onto the hope I could get feeding going again for a while, taking meds, etc. This made me stressed and I wasn't enjoying my baby.

My LO is thriving on FF and I am enjoying her LOADS!! I love her so much!!!

I live in Portsmouth ( some deprived areas) and was told by the lactation consultant that BF is being promoted loads here because of low income and health reasons. There is a high number of babies readmitted to hosp because of gastro issues, due to poor hygiene when FF.

 

[hajis-sweetie]

Oh and because my local hospital is a BF 'ZONE', they cannot in any way promote FF, won't give you advice, don't provide any and you have to go to a little room at the end of the corridor to make up bottles etc!!

 

[3011busyyear]

I cryed for about 6 weeks solid that i failed.

This is what is bugging me so much, i cried and cried like you and although we know it's not the end of the world is this just our motherly instincts (and a shed loads of homrones!) making us upset or is it the lack of support, and general attitude of the midwives/doctors/hv we see.

 

[mrsraggle]

Poor latch and I couldn't get a good position (huge boobs). I think the biggest issue for me is that I lost my confidence and faced with Ellie having to go back into hospital I just FF to get her to wee. Better support would've got me through it but it just wasn't available to me and I wasn't in the right place emotionally to even think to ask for help.

ETA: I also beat myself up about and found myself envious of BF mothers but that reduced when she was 6 months and weaning. I'm still determined to give it a go when #2 comes along.

 

[OmarsMum]

I didnt have any milk to BF. DS couldnt latch on & I tried to express for one month but I didnt get a single drop of milk.

I'm moving this thread to the FFing section to enable more FFing mums to share their experiences.

 

[BabyJayne]

Why is there such a need to find out how other people feed there child? Does it matter to you why other people FF?

I'm sorry but there are millions of these threads and it all ends up the same way! Some people BF, some FF... For different reasons and no-one should have to try and justify themselves to satisfy someone's curiosity

No-one has to try and justify themselves. If people don't want to answer the poll they don't have to. Just stay away from the thread if that's how you feel

As for me - I desperately wanted to breastfeed but Madeline just wouldn't suck! She latched perfectly, and would then just go to sleep. I expressed colostrum and she had that from a syringe. I tried and tried, and the MWs were great. They got a lactation specialist in and she sat with me for two hours and eventually Madeline had a 5 minute feed. I remember laying on my side with her feeding and crying tears of pure joy.

But it didn't last. She got jaundice and dropped nearly 10% birth weight, and needed phototherapy. I didn't care by then and just wanted her to have something - the MWs were great again and she had some formula. I was eventually allowed home with LO, and was able to continually try and BF. She only fed about 4 times from me, despite trying every feed for about 8 weeks! I expressed for about 10-12 weeks and then she was solely formula fed.

I don't feel bad or guilty about it. Why should I? I was just disappointed. I had so much milk and really wanted to BF. I never for one second thought it would be LO that didn't want to feed that would be a stumbling block, more that I would give up.

 

[Marlarky]

I had flat nipples so had to use a shield and LO is a fussy fussy FUSSY eater so it was very hard to BF so I started pumping and feeding him breastmilk from bottles. But inbetween 2 and 3 weeks, my milk dried up. I noticed from 2 weeks my supply was less and less and I was having to top-up more and more. We are happy FF though and I am glad he at least got all the colostrum which is packed with nutrients, and I attempted to give him the best start possible.

 

[Marlarky]

and i agree with mrsraggle, my boobs are huge and pregnancy helped them sag a lot sadly, so it was even harder to latch