Pregnant? Over 40....please join us :-)

[mitchnorm]

7 days post mc.....did a pregnancy test on Sunday and was still postove. They dont do hcg tests routinely in UK so I'm trying to track it through poss.

I heard ovulation sticks don't really work immediately after mc so not bothering. Will monitor cm and maybe dtd 2 weeks after mc.

Back to normal here......well physically... A little uncomfortable in lower abdomen

 

[tag74]

Hey! Are you temping? While I haven't O'd it is giving me a good indication where I am in my cycle. If this helps at all...at the time of my procedure this was my HCG:

Day of procedure: close to 11,000
One week after procedure: 230
One week later: 16
One week later: That's today and I haven't gotten the results yet

So two weeks later, it was almost at 0. I still got a positive pregnancy test and ovulation test 2 days after the 16 reading, but next day, they were both negative (so at 2 weeks and 3 days I think it was out of my system).

 

[mitchnorm]

Thanks Tag...not sure what my starting hcg was ...pretty high I guess as I was 9 weeks gone I was expecting maybe 2 weeks to clear system so not too worried yet
I did temp when ttc but actually gave it up on the cycle that i conceived on so wasn't planning to take it up again this time round x

 

[tag74]

Yah, I was 3 days shy of 9 weeks. My doctor just called and my beta is officially 0. Bittersweet.

 

[BetterLate]

I would love to join this group! I've never done this before (please forgive me if I make any blunders) but this time around I would really like some support & to hear from some women who have "been there." I'm so glad to have found a group ladies in my age range who, unfortunately, are familiar with and/or sensitive to miscarriage – I don't know a single person with a similar situation.

First, to the moms who just experienced a loss, I just want to share my heartbreak for you. I have been there and I know the deep pain and devastation - there is nothing like it.

My story (briefly): I just turned 42 & just got my BFP a few days ago. It is VERY early, I have not even missed my period yet so I suppose I may not be around for very long but I'm trying to cautiously hopeful. That is hard, however, when my last 2 pregnancies have ended in miscarriage (the first at 12 weeks after seeing a healthy, active girl on the US, early testing showed no chromosomal abnormalities - the second at 10 weeks, no info. on that as we were in the midst of moving across the country). I am so lucky to have one bright and shiny 6-year-old daughter who has been the best medicine for this grief.

My health is not awesome, I have a condition called mastocytosis that is so rare there is very little information on how it affects pregnancies. I also have PCOS which is very well controlled by diet, exercise and Metformin. Despite these things, I've never had difficulty getting pregnant (as long as I'm on Metformin – otherwise I don't seem to ovulate though I do have a regular periods), my problem seems to be staying pregnant. However, I have a strong belief that women our age can have healthy pregnancies and babies (both my grandmothers had perfectly healthy children well into their 40's).

I'm still in shock about my BFP, I fully expected it to take a while & we only got one well-timed “shot” this last cycle. I'm also surprised because I don't feel like I did in my last two pregnancies (I can hardly remember the early stages of my first with my daughter) – previously I've just “felt” pregnant very early & had nausea, fatigue, painful boobs, constipation – all the fun stuff – several days before a positive test result. None of that this time – though the boob pain kicked in today & I've never had that outside of pregnancy. My only symptom has been pressure/tugging ache in the uterus not like a cramp but more like round ligament pain.

It has been so helpful to hear all of your stories, there is just so little out there for mom's on our end of the “spectrum” and most of it is so condescending and negative. It seems like when I read or hear the stories of real women, however, it is so much more positive and reassuring. I truly hope we can all stick around and wish everyone the best no matter where they are at in their journey!

 

[Fezzle]

Congrats and welcome, BetterLate! Sorry for your losses.

 

[mitchnorm]

Betterlate - welcome!

You fill me with hope - I am now 42 (in May) and had a miscarriage last month - it has now been diagnosed as a partial molar pregnancy which means I have to be referred for monitoring and told not to TTC until after HCG drops to normal and stays as such for a period of time - between 3-6 months has been mention.....could be longer

I feel time is slipping away but I am trying to stay positive.

Welcome. (obviously I am no longer pregnant but still dipping in in the hope that I can rejoin in the not too distant future)

 

[Shanoa]

Hi BetterLate. Congrats on your BFP! How exciting!

I too have a little girl who was such a comfort when I had a missed miscarriage back in January. My girl has just turned two. I breezed through my first pregnancy and was so carefree compared to this time. I've had lots of extra scans and have been a little edgey until I got past the 16 week mark. I am 18 weeks today and I have been feeling the baby move for just over a week and it is soooo reassuring.

The official literature is frightening isn't it!? I've stopped reading it. As you say, there are plenty of real women out there who have had successful pregnancies. My MIL cites many of her peers and I know quite a few. I was 39 when I had DD so we can do it! Better late than never!

 

[BetterLate]

Drat, I think my first reply got deleted - hopefully I'm not repeating my post here!

Thanks so much for the welcome!

mitchnorm - I've read your posts, my heart breaks for you, I'm so very sorry. And now the waiting, it is just the worst. At our age a few months feels like an eternity, it's so frustrating. But I am so happy if I can give some hope & I really do think there is reason to be hopeful. I just got off the phone with my mother who informed me that my grandmother gave birth to my uncle (perfect, healthy & a wonderful guy) when she was nearly 47 (I thought she was closer to 40 - what a shock). He was an accident & she suffered from severe asthma, took multiple heavy drugs (though I don't recommend that!) & had other health issues. We can have children in our 40's and, even if this one doesn't stick for me, I am hopeful and rooting for you.

Shanoa - Motherhood is definitely better late! I am a MUCH, MUCH better mother than I would have been at 25 (that would not have been good at all!). Plus I think it keeps us young. 18 weeks must feel so wonderful & how amazing to be able to share this with your daughter - I really hope I get there! We will wait to tell our daughter for a while. With my first loss, I was showing so early that we had to tell her and she was just devastated when we lost the baby - she still asks me why "our baby died," .... ugghh, it just kills me . I'm trying to accept and just be okay with the fact that it will probably be a while before I lose the jitters - or maybe not at all - and not put a bunch of energy into fighting those feelings. I was low intervention and low maintenance with my other pregnancies (it never bothered me to be older and pregnant) but I know this time I will want more reassurance and monitoring.

The research out there is terrifying and I'm learning that it is somewhat flawed: first of all, most of the research is done by men and - god love 'em - what do they really "understand" about the mystery of the female reproductive system? Also, at least some if not a lot of research is based on women with a history of infertility or reproductive health problems - not necessarily representative of the broad spectrum of women. I tried to include a link in my first post (which I think is why it got deleted) to an article in The Atlantic Monthly by psychological researcher Jean Twenge Ph.D("How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby?"). If you haven't read it please google it, I found it fascinating!

I'm so happy to be a part of this group, wishing you all the very best!

 

[carry]

Welcome better late x

 

[carry]

So its a sad farewell from me ladies, I too have lost my baby.. Sleep tight little angel x

 

[mitchnorm]

So its a sad farewell from me ladies, I too have lost my baby.. Sleep tight little angel x

So sorry Carry x x x

 

[Shanoa]

Oh no, Carry, I am so sorry. Sending you massive hugs. It's horrible that you are having to go through this

 

[Shanoa]

BetterLate I just read that article. It's very interesting!

 

[tag74]

Carry, my heart breaks for you. I'm so very sorry!

 

[Fezzle]

So sorry, carry Take good care of yourself.

 

[WW1]

Hi. I'm just dropping in to say hello and send hugs to those of you who are suffering losses. It's such a terrible time (I've been there) but hopefully your sticky beans are just around the corner.
I'm now 29 weeks along. I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes which is a challenge and tiredness is ever-increasing but I count my blessings with every kick.

 

[tag74]

Hi...I'm cautiously back and 4 weeks along!

 

[WW1]

Great news tag74. Keeping fingers crossed you have a sticky bean x

 

[Keebs]

carry I am so sorry

WW1 3rd tri congratulations.
Sorry about the GD but I suppose forewarned is forearmed etc. Are you managing with diet control? Everything crossed for an easy, stress free run to the end

tag74 Congratulations! What fabulous news, sending lots of sticky dust

Love your ticker by the way

BetterLate A rather belated welcome, but hello

Sorry to hear of your losses, hope this one is your keeping baby. I totally agree that fertility doesn't just drop off a cliff edge mid 30's and many women remain fertile well into their 40's. The medical profession are slowly catching onto this too I think

mitchnorm Have you been seen at one of the specialist centres yet? I hope you get some clarification soon, fingers crossed your levels drop nice and quick and you can get back on the ttc wagon soon


Hi to everyone else, hope you all keeping well