pushing it here. anyone else over 45?

[Macwooly]

Ladies I am so sorry people have dismissed what you have gone through with your loses

I have always know I have an older sister, Helen who I never got to meet as she only lived for 2 days but my parents always made us aware that we had a sister in heaven. But apparently my dad's mum said when Helen died "oh well you can have another to replace her" And apparently when I was born she said "well you have a daughter now" They already had a daughter but she wasn't destined to be earth bound for more than 2 days But my dad passed away 25 years to the day that Helen passed away and whilst I miss him daily I love the fact that Helen has her daddy with her now Hope no-one minds me sharing that story

 

[Desperado167]

I love your story wooly,we are all here to share ,the good and the bad,so nice they are together now,I have faith that my granny and granda are looking after all my babies in heaven,until I take over,

 

[Mellybelle]

I love your story too Macwooly. My kids know they have siblings in heaven, and we never want them to forget. They also know that these babies cant be 'replaced'.

 

[angifi]

It's so true. There is no "replacing" the baby you lost. I think my DH thought I just wanted to "replace" the baby I lost at Christmas, when I wanted to ttc again (he didn't). But I didn't want to replace her( don't know for sure, but felt she was a girl), I just needed to be hopeful, to have a chance at some joy instead of just feeling loss. He has had a hard time understanding it.

As for the hurtful things that people say - it was an eye-opener. When I came around after the anesthetic for the D&C the first time, the first thing the nurse said, when I was crying, was - "It was probably for the best - there was probably something wrong with it". What an awful thing to say. She may be right - there may well have been something wrong - however, to me it was my perfect baby, not something to throw away because it wasn't okay.

I was also surprised, this time - at the same hospital, that not one health professional, except for my doctor, said they were sorry for my loss. It was as if nothing had happened, that I was just there for a simple procedure. Then you are sent home, the same day, with nothing - no leaflet about what to expect, no contact numbers for medical or emotional help if you need it. I think I may have to write a letter to the hospital when I feel up to it.

Why does our society not consider our miscarried babies to be worthy of bereavement? They are our children. I just don't get it.

I have been feeling very up and down these last few days. Mostly I'm okay, but sometimes, out of the blue I feel really sad again. I know it is to be expected. I want to try to remember to take loads of fish oil - this is supposed to help keep depression at bay when the hormones drop.

Judy - I'm going to be 45 in November and I worry it will be difficult to conceive and carry a baby to term. But I don't suppose things just happen overnight, who knows, maybe my cut off was 44?

How is everyone else going?

 

[Angelicdragon]

Wooly that is beautiful in a sad way that your dad and sister share the same angelversary. Our children all know about Annabelle. Our older children were allowed to give her cuddles in the hospital and then on the day of her funeral. I got to lay her in her 'forever bed' and tuck her up as only you can with a baby. She has some teddys and the kids got her a chocolate bar and another one gave her a little bible. Samuel was born after her yet he used to talk to her even before you would say he was old enough to understand. He's be nattering away and we'd ask who he was talking to and he'd say Annabelle. She is buried with my mum who died of breast cancer in '93.
Ange you are still young hun. My birthday is February and I got my BFP with Daniel on my July cycle that year. I found a long thread on medhelp doing a google search for women over 47 TTC. There are ladies on there over 50 falling pg naturally and having healthy babies. There were at least 3 aged 50 and one 51. So there are women out there able to fall pg naturally in their older years.

Desperado, every time I think of your name I think of the song by the Eagles. Beautiful song too.How are you today? How are you coping?

Ruth I think the most hurtful thing anyone said to me was when I lost Joey at 11w4d. I had just had that fateful scan and was crying. The sonographer as part of my health history had already asked if I had had children... so when I started crying she told me :At least you have children at home, I have ladies come here with this news and they have no children at home"... ok so she felt she had to qualify my grief but to me it was still my baby I had lost and at the stage where in pregnancy you normally start to feel safe. I wish people could give us a simple "I am sorry" instead of trying to judge and qualify our grief.

My 2 yr old is spreading his breakfast on the floor for the dog It's one of those days, I have already had to unblock the toilets and relight the fire.

Melly we had snow here last night lol I am in the hills outside of Hobart.

Big hugs to you all
Jude

 

[onmymind17]

Hi judy,firstly So sorry for wot u have been through,u truly are an amazing woman and I know exactly how u feel about wanting just one more,I am the same,I desperately want another child!I have 4 children and been trying for another for five years after nine mc's,I finally got my bfp after a year of trying,the joy was short lived wen I went at 8 weeks for my scan and the baby only measured 5 and a Half weeks and had a Ragged heartbeat , there was also a huge pool of blood at the base of my cervix,and I was sent home to miscarry,that was 3 days ago and so far nothing ,I am trying to remain strong and forever hopeful,But I would certainly love to join u in your quest of completing your family and I wish u all the luck in the world,

Oh honey, i did not know, i am sending you super huge

 

[onmymind17]

Ladies, i want to send you all warm i am so sorry for your losses, you are truly amazing strong women.

 

[Macwooly]

Some for everyone today

Angifi I suffer with depression and some of it is hormone related. My doctor last year recommended some supplements to me when I was weaning off my anti-depressants.

I was recommended to take: Agnus Castus (also known as Vitex & Chasteberry); starflower oil; EPO and Fish Oil Omega-3 which have all helped keep my depression at bay. I used to take all for the complete cycle but now only take them from CD1 to ovulation but I have added flaxseed oil to my mix which I take for the complete cycle and my depression is still being controlled since I've been TTC.

Just wanted to share in case other ladies may find some supplements helpful for any depression type symptoms. But I am a really advocate for check with your doctors before taking anything in case it will make things worse not better for you

 

[Desperado167]

Judy that is wot my user name is from,it was on the radio and my friend said wen she heard the song it reminded her of me because I just won't give up ,how can I ??am feeling really weepy today,hospital to morrow and I have been bearing up well until last nite,I suddenly started shaking and crying and got really cold and shivery,had some cramps then they disappeared,it's so hard as the kids are all here 24/7 and I don't want to be here on my own with them wen I start bleeding but dh is really busy and to be honest he just can't cope ,so instead he is ignoring me and carrying on as normal and being really busy,he leaves at nine in the morning and isn't back till nearly eleven,he isn't doing it in a hurtful way this is just his way ,my kids are very perceptive and keep asking me if I am ok and I just want to cuddle them and bawl my eyes out but I can't put this on their poor wee shoulders,I don't want them to see me in pain or upset ,so I am trying so hard to stay strong,coming here really helps me so thank for for giving me somewhere to grief and talk about my feelings,I hope tomorrow I can have a def answer and a plan ,I hope I don't have a long wait But I want to hold onto beanie for as long as possible so I can't win,Love u all ,love an prayers

 

[Macwooly]

Despie xxxx

 

[Desperado167]

Angifi,Hope u feel better soon Hun,thanks for the tip on the fish oils,think my hormones are dropping today and that's y I feel so tearful,take care lovely,

 

[Desperado167]

Wooly,thanks for the info,at the minute I am too worried to take any pills but as soon as I know wots happening for sure I will start taking something to help.

 

[Ruth2307]

Morning everyone!

Hope you're all doing ok.

Despie - I have been thinking of you .

Mac - I swear by these supplements too. I had to stop taking them as soon as I got my BFP but I'll be starting back today. I've finally stopped bleeding and I think my HcG levels must be back to normal by now. Agnus Castus is very good for PCOS suffers. I'm sure this is what kick-started ovulation for me. The Flaxseed oil and EPO with Starflower oil really helped with my mood swings. I bought Omega 3, which I started taking immediately after the BFP but it made me feel quite sick so I stopped it. Vit B complex also helped.

When I saw the Dr on Monday, he prescribed antidepressants as it's now safe to take them but I don't want to. At least I know they are there if I get really bad again.

I hope you all get your forever babies soon
xxxx

Some for everyone today

Angifi I suffer with depression and some of it is hormone related. My doctor last year recommended some supplements to me when I was weaning off my anti-depressants.

I was recommended to take: Agnus Castus (also known as Vitex & Chasteberry); starflower oil; EPO and Fish Oil Omega-3 which have all helped keep my depression at bay. I used to take all for the complete cycle but now only take them from CD1 to ovulation but I have added flaxseed oil to my mix which I take for the complete cycle and my depression is still being controlled since I've been TTC.

Just wanted to share in case other ladies may find some supplements helpful for any depression type symptoms. But I am a really advocate for check with your doctors before taking anything in case it will make things worse not better for you

 

[Desperado167]

Hi Ruth,am so happy to hear u are sounding a bit like your old self,I know how hard it's been for u lovely and am so proud of you , will also be starting all these supplements soon,still hoping I don't have to but if i do I will be asking u all loads of questions ,lots of love ,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Macwooly]

Ruth how could I forget vitamin B complex? I take that as well for my depression.

I have 2 packs of my anti-depressants sitting in a drawer from when I used to be on them. The doctor said if I felt I was slipping to start them and it is nice to have them near but nicer not to need them

for you Ruth And glad that you can start your supplements again

Despie

 

[Angelicdragon]

Wooly I am on zoloft, 100mg a day. I have treid going off them but my husband would much rather me on them. I feel totally out of control and even if i forgot just one I can tell because my mood slips. I used to be a basket case after each m/c so I hate to think how I would be now after 2 lots of twins and this one since I started on the zoloft.
I take vitex every day (1000mg), folic acid every day (5mg), Natural vitamin E every day (500mg), and a pregnancy multi vitamin. I take 1000mg EPO but only until O. I have been taking vitex now since 2003 and I believe it helped me to keep Samuel and Daniel but it sure didn't help with any of the other 9 and chem pgs+ but at least it keeps my moods under control and my cycles regular if nothing else lol.
I have a foster daughter with a touch of PCOS and irregular cycles so I told her about vitex and she has been on it now for 2 months and for both months has had a regular cycle. Makes it so much easier for her TTC as she is newly married.
Desperado you sound scottish. My mum's family is all from Glasgow except her, she was born in Bolton. They moved out here to Tasmania in 1952. I hope you get hopeful news at your Dr visit. I know the trepidation you must be feeling.
I know for myslef I have found it weird that each time I have been in limbo over viability and finally been told there is no hope, my body has miscarried within the hour. Mind you that is with bleeding already happening but like ehavy spotting.
must go, 2 yr old wants me.
hugs to you all
Judy

 

[Macwooly]

Wooly I am on zoloft, 100mg a day. I have treid going off them but my husband would much rather me on them. I feel totally out of control and even if i forgot just one I can tell because my mood slips. I used to be a basket case after each m/c so I hate to think how I would be now after 2 lots of twins and this one since I started on the zoloft.
I take vitex every day (1000mg), folic acid every day (5mg), Natural vitamin E every day (500mg), and a pregnancy multi vitamin. I take 1000mg EPO but only until O. I have been taking vitex now since 2003 and I believe it helped me to keep Samuel and Daniel but it sure didn't help with any of the other 9 and chem pgs+ but at least it keeps my moods under control and my cycles regular if nothing else lol.
I have a foster daughter with a touch of PCOS and irregular cycles so I told her about vitex and she has been on it now for 2 months and for both months has had a regular cycle. Makes it so much easier for her TTC as she is newly married.
Desperado you sound scottish. My mum's family is all from Glasgow except her, she was born in Bolton. They moved out here to Tasmania in 1952. I hope you get hopeful news at your Dr visit. I know the trepidation you must be feeling.
I know for myslef I have found it weird that each time I have been in limbo over viability and finally been told there is no hope, my body has miscarried within the hour. Mind you that is with bleeding already happening but like ehavy spotting.
must go, 2 yr old wants me.
hugs to you all
Judy

I am glad the anti-depressants are working for you. My DH wanted me off mine as I was like the walking dead

Glad the vitex is working for your foster daughter.

Desperado is Northern Irish

 

[faun]

I don't belong here but popped in to say my mums best friend recently had a baby and she is 48 she thought she was going through the menopause and got a huge shock when she was told she was pregnant she now has a beautiful baby girl her first child she had always assumed she couldn't have children after trying for 20 years! I hope you all get your BFP's and forever babies

 

[Suki73]

Hi ladies

Hope you don't mind me butting in but I've been lurking and following the convo about anti-depressants. I've been on Seroxat for the past 4 or 5 years. A low dose, 20mg, but it works wonders for me as I'm naturally low in serotonin and suffer with a lot of anxiety and depression as a result. My doc once remarked that it was like giving insulin to a diabetic

I'm concerned about its effects on ttc and pregnancy though. I heard some time back that it had been linked to heart defects in children, although this was rare. Have any of you been advised to wean yourselves off when ttc? I have yet to speak to my dispensing doc about it. I'm dreading coming off it as the withdrawals are unpleasant, and I know my anxiety symptoms will return with a vengeance. I'm a much more pleasant and reasonable person will taking them lol

 

[Angelicdragon]

Hi Suki, I don't about Seroxat but I know zoloft has ben given the ok if you are TTC of Pg here in Australia. It's other name is serta. I'd have to look up yours to see what it is called here. I'll do that in daylight tomorrow. It's 3:30am here lol. I just checked in to see how Despie is ...
hugs