Question about OH being Best Man at a wedding update pg#5

[Alyssa Drough]

Ohh hes not happy about it all but what can he do?! He cant not go! Im not bothered if Im honest, Im going watching Tom Jones instead bought tickets this afternoon

Of course he can NOT go. I can kinda forgive not inviting the kids but on principal I'd be telling my OH either we both go or neither of us go. If it was me I'd be really kicking off about it!

And I paid for all the suits.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Ugh, what a piss take Louise. I wouldnt blame you about not caring about missing the wedding, because I wouldnt want to go anyway, but still a pee taker. I have no idea, Ryan has never been to a non family wedding lol xx

 

[smileyfaces]

I would never make him not go to his best friends wedding! He is quite welcome to go without me I honestly dont even really care.

 

[hayz_baby]

With oh we paid for about half of his shirt (this was part of a colour scheme but tbh it wasn't overly priced and I didn't really think about it) with the suit I paid just over £100 for the suit. They did give us the option of a different suit but tbh it was a nice suit that could b worn again plus it was nice that groom and oh looked the same. Also as it was from debenhams and the grooms sil worked there that also included discount. The bride and groom paid more then £30 but not as much as us. A few months later we were invited to another wedding. Oh suit didn't fit him anymore so we asked if we could wear the suit (not the shirt for obv reasons) as we paid for majority of it I do t think they could say much. I don't know If we annoyed them wearing the suit tbh but I wasn't willing to pay out for another suit. We are now engaged and the groom will be best man at our wedding so I guess we will get some help back lol!
As for not inviting I can't really understand that logic. I know a lot of advice is only invite who you would want But I really can't imagine why you wouldn't invite a long term partner especially if that person is part of the main party. Tbh it may just come down to money, maybe they have really trimmed as much as poss to save money. Maybe get oh to talk.
Tbh our budget isn't great and it will b a small party but I wouldn't invite one long term partner without the other.. (We are getting married either 2016/2017 so if they get together this/next year and are still together or have made a commitment of some form to each other then invited)

 

[smileyfaces]

They have invited friends and their partners that they dont even know lol so its not money. They have 60 places for the reception and all friends that have been invited have had their partners invited too (except me and my best friend lol)

 

[sparkle_1979]

The suit thing wouldn't bother me... My oh being best man and me not getting an invite, he wouldn't be best man :/

 

[Bevziibubble]

At our wedding my husband paid for the best man'a suit, then when he was best man for that guy, his suit was paid for him in return.


I can't believe that you haven't even been invited to the wedding. And I would be seriously peed off OH has paid for the stag do. I've never heard of that before!

 

[MrsButterfly]

Very rude you've not been invited - I'd be pretty pee'd off.

And on the suit thing - we had a rule at ours where if we were asking you to wear something specific or that we'd chosen, we paid. Anything else, people paid for themselves cos it was their choice.

 

[supertabby]

Traditionally the bride and groom (or bride's parents if we're sticking to tradition) pay for all the wedding party outfits. I certainly think if you're asking someone to wear something specific that you choose then you should pay.

We paid for our bridesmaids and best "man" dresses (best man was hubby's sister). They bought their own shoes and jewellery - we did offer but they wanted to buy the accessories, we didn't ask them to get matching stuff though and the shoes were black so they could wear again. Our ushers and my dad wore their own suits so we didn't pay anything towards them. Hubby and fil wore their kilts which they already had.

 

[Camlet]

Personally I don't feel comfortable making my maid of honour or OHs best man pay for any of their clothes etc as I feel I'm telling them what to wear so I would feel uncomfortable demanding they wear specific & not to mention expensive clothes & ask them to pay for it. Saying that though we are very lucky as OHs best man has seen us struggling with money so has kindly offered to pay for his own suit (although I still feel very guilty letting him & really wouldn't accept his offer if we could afford to) Although to be fair I would like to add that all the bridal books I've been given at wedding fayres etc all say that the best man is actually supposed to pay for his suit so I guess it may be tradition where I live xx

 

[jd83]

I guess customs are very different in the US regarding who pays for what in a wedding. In the US, the wedding party traditionally always pays for their own dresses/suits/tuxes, even if they are picked out by the bride/groom. Just something that comes with the "honor" of being in the bridal party, apparently. LOL. It's never even occurred to me that other countries pay for those items for the bridal party. I've been in several weddings, and always been expected to pay for my dress, any alterations it needed, the shoes, etc. Same for DH, he's been in a few that had tux rentals that he was expected to pay for.

As far you not being invited with your DH...VERY rude. I can't imagine not inviting the spouse, at minimum. Kids are more understandable, as some don't invite kids, but since you said they invited other kids, that doesn't make sense either. I'd be pretty irked with that whole situation, too.

 

[Wriggley]

Me and Oh have been together for 7 years but are not married personally when we do get married we will pay for everything I'd feel really rude asking for others to pay for their outfits

Way I see it is that it's my wedding my budget my responsibility Just because weddings are expensive it don't mean you fob expenses off onto your guests especially if they get no choice in what they are wearing

I was moh for my besties wedding and was asked to pay for my dress I was a bit miffed especially as I was heavily pregnant and was not allowed a maternity dress as they were not pretty enough so I had to hack and add material to a normal dress that was beyond putting back together once we were done so couldn't sell on after either but I bit my lip and did it because she is my bestie and I love her but I certainly won't be asking her to pay her dress if we get married

 

[Lauraxamy]

I don't think the suit thing would bother me, I don't really know what the tradition is but my friend is getting married soon and I know the groom, best man and ushers are hiring their own suits.
Them not inviting you though is just plain spiteful

 

[lovelylaura]

We paid for everyone's outfits. But i know everyone thought we were weird for doing that. But the way i see it is that we wanted to get married no one else so why should they pay. I think everyone does it differently.

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I actually had to pay for my sister's dress so she could be in her friends wedding. She was asked to be a bridesmaid and she told them she wasn't sure because she couldn't afford it since she didn't have a job and just had a baby. But the bride begged her so when it was time to pay they didn't offer to pay. The bride just told her to pick up her dress. So I got it for her. I was pretty annoyed with that bride.

 

[smileyfaces]

I actually had to pay for my sister's dress so she could be in her friends wedding. She was asked to be a bridesmaid and she told them she wasn't sure because she couldn't afford it since she didn't have a job and just had a baby. But the bride begged her so when it was time to pay they didn't offer to pay. The bride just told her to pick up her dress. So I got it for her. I was pretty annoyed with that bride.

OMG!! Shocking!!

 

[TwilightAgain]

I bloody hope not because we can't afford it.

My OH is also best man to a wedding this July and the cost is absolutely ridiculous. He's had to pay to go over to Germany for the stag do for 3 days £200+ then his spending money £250, then the wedding is away so we've had to spend £170 on a hotel plus petrol. I'll have to buy myself an outfit and obviously OH obviously will have to have his suit too....all of these outgoings and we can't even afford a trip to the cinema without feeling guilty because money is so tight. Weddings are a pain in the ass!

I know you're not fussed that you and the children aren't invited but I think its extremely disloyal of your OH going when his family haven't been invited. You're a family, you come as a package deal. I wouldn't of been quite so accepting as you have been.

 

[Equreuil]

Maybe it's different in the US but the bridal party tend to pay for their own outfit... and then a receive a gift of accessories, like jewelry or cufflinks.

When I was a bridesmaid, I was just happy my friend didn't have expensive designer tastes,

 

[lau86]

We paid for all wedding parties outfits (bridesmaids were bought for them, groomsmen hired). I didn't want people to feel out of pocket so they could attend our wedding. It also meant I pretty much picked the dresses and colours. They wore their own shoes though I didn't stipulate what type

 

[Bex84]

For our wedding we paid for everything. Suits were rented and i bought brides maid dresses and was happy for them to have a say in what they wanted. I wouldent expect someone to pay out on a dress or suit they were wearing that would not have bought otherwise. I wouldent have wanted anyone out of pocket for me personally. I find it very rude they havent invited you as well