Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Boo44]

Just looking at that sleep chart Noelle posted. Do you all wait 15 mins before you go to them in the night? 15 mins would seem like hours in the quiet, dark house in the middle of the night. I don't usually run in at the slightest sound. I probably wait a little while but off the top of my head (im not clock watching in the night) I probably wait 5 mins before going but she always seems to get louder and doesn't settle.

Should we be waiting 15 mins before going? Seems such a long time and im pretty sure she would be in a right old state by then and probably got herself in such a pickle that she would be wide awake!

I was surprised by that too! I know that I don't wait that long. In fact when I hear the dreaded sounds at 6am I'm inclined to run straight in, as occasionally if I catch him just as he's stirring, and manage to find his lovey for him and get him comfy and put the dummy in, sometimes he'll go until 7.30 like he did on thurs! I mean, sometimes he just doesn't go back over. Maybe I should be just leaving him...?

 

[izzlesnizzle]

That's the thing- if I get to her quick enough I stand a chance of her going back to sleep. If I leave her too long, ive had it, shes wide awake and wont go back to sleep. Then ive woken myself up too from lying there for 15 mins listening to the horrible sound of her crying. Then we're properly up for the day coz we're both wide awake and shes a complete misery until nap time. I don't like starting my day like that.

 

[Noelle610]

Hi all. So much to catch up on! I'm happy to hear about this great progress MiniKiwi and Larkspur. Long may it continue!

Izzles, to answer your question, I don't wait 15 minutes before going to Charlotte. I think the idea is that you don't wake them unintentionally during partial arousals since all babies make a bit of noise when transitioning through sleep cycles. I do try to wait 5 minutes or so (I'm not good about it though) to see if she will put herself back to sleep.

Overall, the sleep chart is just a guide. You have to adjust it based on your baby's needs, which are always changing so it's kind of a pain

 

[NotNic]

Those of you with older, self settling babies - do they crawl, stand or sit in their cots before they fall asleep? Or are they tired enough that they just lie there until they sleep?

Bit of both. Sometimes he is tired enough that he will go straight to sleep, but mostly he likes to crawl to the top of the cot to select a soft toy to sleep with and then plays for a bit. If he stands though I have to lay him back down otherwise he just bounces up and down and wakes himself up.

 

[VikkiD]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

 

[Noelle610]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

Hi Do you think he's waking for his pacifier? I'm thinking it may have become a dependence.

 

[Noelle610]

Those of you with older, self settling babies - do they crawl, stand or sit in their cots before they fall asleep? Or are they tired enough that they just lie there until they sleep?

Bit of both. Sometimes he is tired enough that he will go straight to sleep, but mostly he likes to crawl to the top of the cot to select a soft toy to sleep with and then plays for a bit. If he stands though I have to lay him back down otherwise he just bounces up and down and wakes himself up.

WSS. If she's really tired, she'll go right to sleep, but she will sometimes crawl around a bit. I need to lay her down if she stands. I just go in and say, "It's night night time, mommy will see you in the morning".

 

[Shadowy Lady]

So we had another pooping episode at midnight exactly but she did sleep till 8 am after that. I managed to sleep the same stretch too so I feel better.

Still figuring out this poop issue. Nap every 3 hour didn't fix it

 

[VikkiD]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

Hi Do you think he's waking for his pacifier? I'm thinking it may have become a dependence.

That's what I was thinking as he only as it for naps an bedtime. He did suck his thumb before we gave him the pacifier.

 

[Noelle610]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

Hi Do you think he's waking for his pacifier? I'm thinking it may have become a dependence.

That's what I was thinking as he only as it for naps an bedtime. He did suck his thumb before we gave him the pacifier.

I'd get rid of it. You'll have a few tough nights, but I bet he sleeps better when he's weaned of it. Good luck mama!

 

[VikkiD]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

Hi Do you think he's waking for his pacifier? I'm thinking it may have become a dependence.

That's what I was thinking as he only as it for naps an bedtime. He did suck his thumb before we gave him the pacifier.

I'd get rid of it. You'll have a few tough nights, but I bet he sleeps better when he's weaned of it. Good luck mama!

Thanks I did try this morning at nap time but he shoved his ted so far in his mouth I gave in. I think bedtime we could do it as he's half asleep when he finishes his bottle at wake ups would you just place your hand on his chest to try get him back to sleep

 

[MiniKiwi]

Shadowy, glad you managed to get a nice stretch last night

Another amazing night here! Mia went to bed at 7pm with 2 minutes shhhing, woke at 2 for 20 minutes but no feeding or changing and is still asleep at 6am I'm so happy! I woke up at 4:30 though...

Eta.. that's ONE night waking!! ONE!!!! lol!

 

[VikkiD]

Shadowy, glad you managed to get a nice stretch last night

Another amazing night here! Mia went to bed at 7pm with 2 minutes shhhing, woke at 2 for 20 minutes but no feeding or changing and is still asleep at 6am I'm so happy! I woke up at 4:30 though...

Eta.. that's ONE night waking!! ONE!!!! lol!

That's great can I ask what you have been doing to help your lo sleep better

 

[MiniKiwi]

She used to go to bed at 6pm, but we've stretched out her naps a bit and made her bedtime 7pm each night. That seemed to help a little. I've put a night light on in the room and put a few teddies in her cot for her to snuggle.

But the main thing that's made a difference is shhhing & patting her to sleep, instead of walking/rocking and putting her down fast asleep. Now I feed her, burp her and put her down awake with one hand on her tummy, one on her head and shhhh her. She cried for 10 ish mins the first night and it's taken 2-3 mins (with no tears) each time since. Only last week she was waking hourly some nights and staying up in the night for up to 4 hours at a time, needless to say, one waking is a HUGE improvement

 

[Noelle610]

Not posted here before but after a bit of advice lo as never been a great sleeper but we did go through a couple of months of sleeping through from 8 till 6. Since Christmas that's all gone to pot an now lo will wake several times I night I do go straight into him which I know I shouldn't I pop his dummy back in an give him his comforter an back to sleep he goes 1hr to 2hr he will cry again so I do the same an this goes on all night sometime he won't even do an hour. I have tried earlier bedtime makes no difference at all. Currently he wakes around 5.30 will have a 7oz bottle he then will have 3 meals an 2 more 7oz bottles during the day. Naps are not good just gone down to 2 a day mostly 40 mins if I am very lucky 1-1.5hr this is rare though. These naps are usually taken at 9 an 1 an bedtime is 6-6:30.
I really do not know what else to try I was thinking of trying another late nap an putting bedtime back a bit to 8 this use to work before Christmas I really don't know what else to try any advice?

Hi Do you think he's waking for his pacifier? I'm thinking it may have become a dependence.

That's what I was thinking as he only as it for naps an bedtime. He did suck his thumb before we gave him the pacifier.

I'd get rid of it. You'll have a few tough nights, but I bet he sleeps better when he's weaned of it. Good luck mama!

Thanks I did try this morning at nap time but he shoved his ted so far in his mouth I gave in. I think bedtime we could do it as he's half asleep when he finishes his bottle at wake ups would you just place your hand on his chest to try get him back to sleep

Yes, that's what I would do I'd also caution you against letting him fall asleep while having his bottle. Here's a good article that explains it, but you basically want to put him down awake so that he learns to soothe himself to sleep and during subsequent wakings:

https://www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Minikiwi - awesome! She's made so much progress already! So happy for you

Meanwhile I'm trying to adopt DH philosophy that whatever happens we'll deal with it tonight. I so wish I was as easygoing with sleep as him...

 

[Boo44]

Shadowy you sound similar to me and my OH

By the way, how old are you girls (if you don't mind me asking!)? I like to be able to 'imagine' what you're all like

I'm 31 :-O

 

[MiniKiwi]

Yes, that's what I would do I'd also caution you against letting him fall asleep while having his bottle. Here's a good article that explains it, but you basically want to put him down awake so that he learns to soothe himself to sleep and during subsequent wakings:

https://www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

This is the article that inspired us, great link!

Boo - I'm 23!

 

[Boo44]

Yes, that's what I would do I'd also caution you against letting him fall asleep while having his bottle. Here's a good article that explains it, but you basically want to put him down awake so that he learns to soothe himself to sleep and during subsequent wakings:

https://www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

This is the article that inspired us, great link!

Boo - I'm 23!

I'm so old! Lol

 

[MiniKiwi]

Aww haha! You're so not old! I think most of the mamas around here are about your age, aren't they?