Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[gaiagirl]

I'm 28!

Had an interesting day and night. Tbh I have decided to stop stressing and freaking out about naps and hours of sleep and awake time etc etc etc. Just for me, that's actually been causing me as much stress as the waking at night. And I'm not sure what the point is. He naps more than all of my friends babies and sleeps worse at night! So anyways...yesterday he only napped about 2 hours and last one was 2:30. He fought it at 4:30 like crazy. Finally said screw it, went out for dinner and he was perfectly happy and content the whole time. Put him to bed at 7:30, and yes he still did the wake ups (8:30, 10:30, etc) but no different and actually better than most evenings!

He slept 7:30-7:30 with the same frequent wakings but I really don't think that's related to naps.

He napped from 9:20-11 this morning and a few more short ones...but with more awake time and relying more on his cues than the clock, and it's been going great!

Not sure really if this is any better, and I SO appreciate the advice but I think I have simply been stressing way too much about finding the 'perfect' formula combo of sleep times. As if if I can just get him napping at the right times and bed at the right time it will somehow make him sleep differently! I don't think that's the case, but what do I know...

Not sure the point of this other than just rambling...lol.

 

[bananaz]

I'm 25, but 31 isn't old at all! I think there are a lot of moms that age and older on BnB.

Everything has gone to pot here I don't know if she's teething again or what, but her happy naptime self-settling stint seems to be over, at least for now. The only naps where she's gone to sleep on her own have been after 10-15 minutes of screaming, and a couple of times I had to give up and try again later because I couldn't deal with the crying anymore. Whenever I intervened and tried to soothe her that just made things worse. I think I'm going to try making her naptimes later and see how that works.

For those of you with babies around 10 months old, what are their typical awake times? I'm thinking that she may need a 3 hour awake period in the morning and then a 4 hour one before her second nap, but that seems kind of long, and then she'd only be up for 2-3 hours before bed...

 

[bananaz]

I'm 28!

Had an interesting day and night. Tbh I have decided to stop stressing and freaking out about naps and hours of sleep and awake time etc etc etc. Just for me, that's actually been causing me as much stress as the waking at night. And I'm not sure what the point is. He naps more than all of my friends babies and sleeps worse at night! So anyways...yesterday he only napped about 2 hours and last one was 2:30. He fought it at 4:30 like crazy. Finally said screw it, went out for dinner and he was perfectly happy and content the whole time. Put him to bed at 7:30, and yes he still did the wake ups (8:30, 10:30, etc) but no different and actually better than most evenings!

He slept 7:30-7:30 with the same frequent wakings but I really don't think that's related to naps.

He napped from 9:20-11 this morning and a few more short ones...but with more awake time and relying more on his cues than the clock, and it's been going great!

Not sure really if this is any better, and I SO appreciate the advice but I think I have simply been stressing way too much about finding the 'perfect' formula combo of sleep times. As if if I can just get him napping at the right times and bed at the right time it will somehow make him sleep differently! I don't think that's the case, but what do I know...

Not sure the point of this other than just rambling...lol.

Sometimes it's good to just say "screw it" and go with the flow! I know some of my LO's best nights have been when her daytime schedule got totally messed up. Of course, some of her worse nights came after those types of days too lol. Just goes to show that a lot of it is random and if it were really a matter of just finding the perfect schedule most of the ladies on here would've figured things out and left this thread months ago

 

[Noelle610]

29! Will be 30 in the fall.

Shadowy Lady, Sofia and Charlotte must be playing a trick on us. C pooped herself awake during not one... But both naps today! And she's normally constipated!

 

[MiniKiwi]

For those of you with babies around 10 months old, what are their typical awake times? I'm thinking that she may need a 3 hour awake period in the morning and then a 4 hour one before her second nap, but that seems kind of long, and then she'd only be up for 2-3 hours before bed...

Mia's days have been going a bit like this

7am wake

9am - 10am nap

1pm - 2pm nap

7pm bed

5 hours is a huge wake time though and sometimes it's longer if she has a short afternoon nap. I feel bad for her, she starts falling over while she's crawling around 6:30! But it's working so I can't change it atm! When she's settling in her cot better and sleeping well at night, I might try getting her bedtime earlier. It feels cruel forcing her to stay awake!

edit - I can't make her morning wake time before her first nap longer either, she just starts crying lol

 

[Larkspur]

I'm so old! Lol

LOL, that makes me practically retired then, I'm 37.

 

[VikkiD]

Another bad night here took lo upstair at 6:30 fed him put him down in his cot but his mobile on he went sleep no problem around 7pm 8:30 the wake ups started I did ignore him at first an he went back sleep but 30 mins later would wake I did give him his dummy as well best stretch he did was 2 hours

 

[mamas_melon]

Hey can I join please, and get some support of you lovely ladies. I've only read bits of the thread, but basically my LO Finley is 8 and a half months old and has slept pretty well up until about a month ago. He has a dummy for sleep, and has always woke for it at least once during the night. At first when he was newborn, it was several times a night, but since putting him in his own room at nearly 6 months it was maybe once/twice or sometimes not at all which was great. He was sttn most nights and everything was going well, and then everything changed.

He's gradually got worse and worse, waking several times an hour sometimes, he'll just wake up crying until I go in an re-settle him or put his dummy back in if he can't find it. I put a few dummies in his cot and he'll mostly just grab one and put it in himself, but I don't understand why he's just waking and crying? He's not hungry as i've tried giving him a bottle and he wasn't interested, he hasn't had a night feed since about 3 months. I must admit I feel like I've done it all wrong, he'd been rocked to sleep since birth so I usually have to rock him to sleep in the middle of the night. In the past week we've stopped rocking him to sleep just before he settles for the night at 8pm and for naps, and he's seemed to be ok with this, it's just the mid night wakings which are hard! He's also been waking at around 2/3am for a whole hour before going back to sleep. I'm exhausted and slowly becoming more and more depressed.

Me and DH have said we would like to try some sleep training like pu/pd when DH is on leave from work in a weeks time, as it's difficult at the moment because I don't want the baby screaming in the night and keeping DH awake as he works early in the morning.

LO doesn't really nap much during the day, and when he does the times and lengths are very irregular. I just feel like it's all my fault for letting him be rocked to sleep and I feel like it's going to be hard to reverse this cycle.

Sorry for the long post, I hope I've managed to get as much info in as possible.

 

[VikkiD]

Just tried first nap of the day without his dummy an he went sleep ok he did stick his comforter over his face but nothing in his mouth

 

[AngelUK]

Ok you are ALL spring-chickens compared to me. I know I am only marginally on this thread these days but I am 43 so there

 

[Noelle610]

Good luck with the dummy weaning Vikki!

mamas_melon, we've all been there. I feel like I've posted this link a million times over the last few days, but I love it! I would start putting your LO down awake. As he gets older, his sleep is going to deteriorate and he's going to wake more frequently if he doesn't know how to put himsefl to sleep.

https://www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Boo - I'm 31 too! I thought I was the most senior here hahaha! I turned 31 in February.

Gaia - I found my LO night time sleep doesn't change based on naps. I don't think this will help you but just wanted to say 4 months was the toughest time for us sleepwise. She got much better at 5 months (down to one wakeup call).

Bananaz - you are so young!!! You sound mature beyond your years lol! Sorry to hear about Elsie's sleep. I always blame everything on teething...

Noelle - eeeek, I'm sorry Charolotte has taken a page outta Sofia's book. Why on Earth do they poop in the middle of the night???

So last night was pretty good here, we actually had another sttn!!! She took longer to sleep (she talked to herself for 10 mins) but she actually slept from 6:45 pm to 6:30 am without a single wink!!! She had pooped again when I went to her this morning then but I could tell it was recent, lol! I take 6:30 am pooping anyway over middle of the nights pooping! Hoping we're outta that phase now....

 

[pachamama]

Silly question alert - when you ssshhhh pat, what do you pat? My lo sleeps on his back so I can't get to his bottom - do you pick the baby up and pat bottom whilst saying ssshhhh?

Really sorry if this seems a dumb question but just can't figure it out...


x

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy Lady, that's great! I was worried for our night after two crap poopy naps of 30 minutes each, but it was good too. I put Charlotte down super early - at 6pm. She woke briefly and resettled herself around 7pm (always does this if she's overtired) and then STTN until 6:15am! I feel good today.

Pachamama, I think you can just pat his bum while picking up. Not sure it matters how you do the patting as long as it's calming and consistent. If you google the method, it will describe exactly how it's done

 

[pachamama]

Pachamama, I think you can just pat his bum while picking up. Not sure it matters how you do the patting as long as it's calming and consistent. If you google the method, it will describe exactly how it's done

Thanks Noelle. Will go and google.

My lo is 10 weeks old and for now all is ok. He uses a dummy for naps and overnight and wakes 2-4 times to have it replaced. I've read the first 2 articles in the link you keep posting and understand that I should probably be looking to reduce use around 4-5 months of age before object permanence kicks in. Are there any good descriptions about how to do this or does it have to be cold turkey? Many thanks.

x

 

[izzlesnizzle]

Shadowy Lady, that's great! I was worried for our night after two crap poopy naps of 30 minutes each, but it was good too. I put Charlotte down super early - at 6pm. She woke briefly and resettled herself around 7pm (always does this if she's overtired) and then STTN until 6:15am! I feel good today.

Oh that's interesting. Charlotte waking slightly at 7pm. My LO has been stirring at random times, like 8.30pm or 10pm. I wondered why that was. I didn't know it could be due to over tiredness.

Anyway, just a little update on the 5am waking and trying to re set her body clock and her waking at 3am and I was hoping that would stop the 5am thing.....well she did wake at 5am yesterday but due to the most horrific nappy that resulted in a full strip down, then she went back to sleep until 7.15am......but this morning she slept until 6am and was busy playing with the favourite toys i'd strategically placed in her cot the night before.

That's all great but shes managed to set my body clock for a 5am wake up regardless of whether shes awake or not. 5am I was wide awake and thinking shes going to wake up any minute now, she didn't and I was dozing on and off until I looked again at the monitor at 6 and there she was sitting up happily playing with her phone! Hopefully she will continue with this course of action without waking us up! 6am I can deal with, 5am I cant!

 

[Noelle610]

Pachamama, I think you can just pat his bum while picking up. Not sure it matters how you do the patting as long as it's calming and consistent. If you google the method, it will describe exactly how it's done

Thanks Noelle. Will go and google.

My lo is 10 weeks old and for now all is ok. He uses a dummy for naps and overnight and wakes 2-4 times to have it replaced. I've read the first 2 articles in the link you keep posting and understand that I should probably be looking to reduce use around 4-5 months of age before object permanence kicks in. Are there any good descriptions about how to do this or does it have to be cold turkey? Many thanks.

x

I had a link for you, but it froze up my computer and I couldn't post it. Check out the "My Baby Sleep Guide"

Anyway, ideally you get rid of the dummy around that age. I'm not a good one to advise, because we still use one. My daughter doesn't wake for it and it helps to soothe her. Some babies get "addicted" and others are fine. It's really up to you whether or not you want to run the risk. I think if you do get rid of it, cold turkey is best. It usually is a quick process, in my understanding. If the baby is older, you can also teach them to re-insert the pacifier themselves. The Sleep Lady suggests handing them the pacifier when they wake for it rather than popping it in their mouth so that they learn. Not sure this would work for a small baby though.

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy Lady, that's great! I was worried for our night after two crap poopy naps of 30 minutes each, but it was good too. I put Charlotte down super early - at 6pm. She woke briefly and resettled herself around 7pm (always does this if she's overtired) and then STTN until 6:15am! I feel good today.

Oh that's interesting. Charlotte waking slightly at 7pm. My LO has been stirring at random times, like 8.30pm or 10pm. I wondered why that was. I didn't know it could be due to over tiredness.

Anyway, just a little update on the 5am waking and trying to re set her body clock and her waking at 3am and I was hoping that would stop the 5am thing.....well she did wake at 5am yesterday but due to the most horrific nappy that resulted in a full strip down, then she went back to sleep until 7.15am......but this morning she slept until 6am and was busy playing with the favourite toys i'd strategically placed in her cot the night before.

That's all great but shes managed to set my body clock for a 5am wake up regardless of whether shes awake or not. 5am I was wide awake and thinking shes going to wake up any minute now, she didn't and I was dozing on and off until I looked again at the monitor at 6 and there she was sitting up happily playing with her phone! Hopefully she will continue with this course of action without waking us up! 6am I can deal with, 5am I cant!

Yeah, it's tough because she does it a lot. She's really sensitive to wake time. She is usually up for "too long" in the evenings because her second nap will sometimes be 1pm - 2:30pm and we can't really get her into bed until 6:30pm or 7pm with our work schedules (she's a daycare baby). 4 hours of awake time is fine for most babies at 10 months, but she does better with about 3.5 in the evening. She napped from 2pm - 4pm on Saturday and didn't wake at that mark (and slept great actually) and I'm sure the later nap had something to do with it.

I'm glad your LO is sleeping a bit later! But it sucks that you're still getting that 5am wake-up regardless of when she's goes down. I agree with you that 6am is "morning" while 5am is still "the middle of the night". It may just be a phase that hopefully passes quickly.

 

[izzlesnizzle]

This is it. She is usually up by 2.30pm meaning its 4 hrs until bedtime. Today though, she napped at 11.30am in the pram which I was surprised about. By the time I got home she was asleep, she only woke up at 9.30am from her morning nap. I thought no way, she cant go from 12.30 until bed time with no sleep so I put her down again at 3pm and she had 30 mins so it will be interesting to see how it goes. She dropped her 3rd nap weeks ago but I guess she needed 3 today.

 

[VikkiD]

Well we have had 2 naps no dummy first nap was easy second bit harder going to give it a try tonight no dummy I have told oh he might need some ear plugs