Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[seaweed eater]

Stephie, the naps sound great!! I think it is a promising sign that he's learned to SS and sleep longer stretches during naps. I know naps are different from nighttime but I bet it means he can learn to do the same thing at night somehow. I hope you do get a nap in soon! I find that can make such a difference.

I know what you mean about not wanting to give pain relief for bad sleep it's so hard to know. Munchkin has certainly had ibuprofen on days when I know in retrospect that he was not teething, and I don't feel great about that. But I just try to balance the concern for his comfort with the concern for his organs and then go with my gut? I know, that's very vague! I'm with Gaia on the homeopathic stuff though. My understanding is that there's not good evidence for it, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable, so we've never used any.

Hang in there. I hope you see better nights or at least teeth soon. Hope bedtime tonight went well. Is he still struggling at bedtime?

Gaia, how frustrating that tooth #8 does not seem close! I wish so much you could just have a break from teething!! Maybe you will anyway. FWIW, I've had two pediatricians independently tell me that they think Advil is safe at the recommended dose for up to 7 nights in a row. I can totally understand why you would still be uncomfortable with that, though. I am sorry you had such rough naps today, I really hope things get better soon can you get any help from DH or anyone else?

Polaris, I'm so sorry you are having that feeling of questioning everything, that's a tough place to be. It sounds wise to put things off until after you're back from your trip (where are you going?). Are you able to lie down with her during naps, or whatever she needs -- or do you need her in the cot? I have found it difficult sometimes to maintain very many rules or limits without being willing to sleep train. It's like I need it to be one or the other, you know what I mean? So when we were in WIO mode my approach was to try to accept everything and not struggle or fight too hard. Make things better, yes, but not fight. I don't know whether you're in a position to do that this week -- or whether you think that would even be helpful? I know how much easier said than done it is when you don't even feel like you have a basic routine in place. I just think it can be so demanding to try to control everything through scheduling and routines alone, and for a mom who is as caring as you are, and who has such high standards for herself as you do, it can really become all-consuming.

When was it that you sleep trained last time? It was a few months ago, or more, right? And you did CC? How long did you do it for and how much was she still crying? Just curious.

We do use teething granules. Though more so when he was smaller. It works best for him when he is in a huge tizz. It just calms him down so much. Around 5 mths he'd pass out afterwards. It was like he was thinking 'Finally Mummy! I've been telling you for ages I needed something!'

This made me think of a story a woman in my baby group told us about her older child...that it felt like such a miracle when one night her daughter said "Mommy...ear hurts." Because just like that, she didn't need to guess at what was wrong! Poor babies...it will be so much better for us and especially for them when they can just tell us!

To your question about STTN, I'm sure there are babies who just do that once they start being able to STTN -- maybe it has to do with having a regular temperament. But, also, many parents who like a lot of structure and regularity around nighttime sleep basically do CIO/ignoring on an ongoing basis. Like, if wake up time is 6 AM, they do not go into their baby's room between bedtime and 6 AM, ever. I don't know how you are dealing with Finlay's NWs and early mornings but based on what you said about CIO I assume you're not ignoring him. I would think that most babies experiencing those kinds of rules would eventually learn that it didn't do them any good to complain at night or be up early. You may not be comfortable with that, though.

 

[seaweed eater]

I also wanted to note that I've started doing the same thing at naps as during the night (nursing until relaxed but not asleep and then sitting by the crib until asleep) and we're getting much longer naps. Every day we've had at least one 75+ minute one.

I guess it's basically the Bananaz system, except for some reason we needed to go through one night of crying to get there!

I know, I'm owed the BnB curse in a big way. I just wanted to update since I know at least a couple of you might be considering a similar form of sleep training.

I do think it would be interesting to try to remove nursing from the routine. I've realized that in my own mind I too have a bit of a nursing to sleep association! (on his behalf, of course -- not my nursing or my sleep.) I just can't imagine him going to sleep without it. But I'm sure he'd be able to learn how now that he's getting better at going down awake. That's something to explore later, though. For now, in the words of Pitbull et al, I just wanna feel this moment.

 

[stephie_corin]

Gaia, I'm so sorry naps are horrid today. You sound like you are in a similar place to me at the moment, but you seem so much more sane and relaxed about it all. You're an amazing example of grace under pressure. I need to take a leaf from your book and remember this isn't forever. We take a similar approach to pain meds as you. I ty not to give it on more than 2-3 consecutive nights. You're right, it is such a difficult decision though. As Notnic says, hearing them cry in pain is tough.

Polaris, big hugs to you my friend. I find bedtime hard solo with just one child. You're doing so well! I love that chart for when C was younger but I found it hasn't worked since he dropped to two naps - for example, he's meant to get 14 hours sleep each 24 but the maximum awake time only allows for 8.25 hours awake. It does say some babies need more or less sleep give or take half an hour so maybe that is where you can make up the extra. His awake time is creeping up too high again though, so maybe like you it's time for us to scale back his awake times. I think I'll try that today. I'm pretty sure Noelle said the middle awake time can be a bit longer but the last awake time is most important to ensure no over tiredness.

Noelle, if you are around, if Cs maximum awake time is 3.15 (based on an extra half hour) does this mean we should start wind down around 2.5 hours awake? I nurse to sleep so I guess I should start nursing around the 3 hour mark?

Polaris, I'm so sorry you feel like you are taking a backwards step with the nursing to sleep. Sometimes it is just about survival and ensuring everyone is getting enough sleep. Like you say, you can worry about things like this when you get back from your break. Good luck hon.

NotNic, I can't help with your STTN question but thanks for your perspective on pain medication. I'm sorry to hear about your sister.

As for us, we had an averagely terrible night (wakeups at least every hour) but for the first part of the night when the iboprufen was working he was so much easier to settle.

Big hugs all around, it sounds like a few of us are struggling at the moment!! X

 

[stephie_corin]

SE, cross posts!

He finally fell asleep at 8pm and up at 6am... Not enough night sleep I'm sure but I'm going to try and shorten Culver's awake times.

Wow, munchkin the King of Catnaps took a long nap?!? Amazing!!! You must be so pleased! How are you handling naps at daycare? Does he nap there or do all naps at home?

I'm so tempted to try something like what you've done: maybe a modified version where I lie with him and rub his tummy but don't pick him up... I've tried this before though (a week or two ago) and he cried / played for 1.5 hours before I gave in and rocked him, so I'm not sure it would work for us. The tummy rub seems to work for early night wakings but not bedtime.

Anyway, glad munchkin is still sleeping well

Edit: things really are changing on a daily basis here. Long naps have gone back to cat naps today! Ha! I give up

 

[polaris]

Thank you so much ladies, really good advice as always.

Seaweed, I think you are so right that I just need to stop struggling for a bit and just be one or the other. In other words, accept that I am not ready to do sleep training at the moment so just do whatever works to some extent. I think part of the reason I am struggling so much is that I have my 3 year old to look after too and I can't just leave him for long stretches during the day. So it really puts pressure on me to find a way to get her settled reasonably quickly, especially for naps.

Cosleeping is actually working out really well at the moment and she is sleeping so much better at night and so am I. She still wakes up but resettles very easily often without a feed - or sometimes she has a quick feed and then rolls over and self-settles! I am feeling so much better this morning after a good night's sleep - if I can get a week of good sleep I think I will feel so much better so I definitely feel this is the right decision for us at the moment. The only issue is that she seems to be developing a real aversion for the cot. But I think I'm just going to go with the flow on that too. If she needs to feed to sleep on the futon for all her naps and nap on the futon, it's not the end of the world. I don't think much can happen to her; the open futon and the cot basically take up all the floor space in the room so there's nowhere she can really go! And if she does manage to fall off the bottom end of the futon (the only open side) it's only a foot off the ground so I don't think she can really hurt herself. Gaia - I am the same, I would love her to sleep in the cot for naps and early evening, but if it's not happening I think maybe I just have to go with whatever works for now.

Stephie - great news about the longer naps yesterday even if they have gone back to catnaps today. These babies like to keep us on our toes. Regarding the gradual withdrawal, you never know, Cully is a bit older now so maybe he might actually go to sleep with this approach now? I would like to do something like this with Clara after seeing seaweed's success, but she just stands up in the cot immediately so I just can't see how it would work. She's not going to go to sleep standing up! I guess I could keep lying her down but she just stands straight back up again and usually starts getting upset and I end up nursing her again.

Notnic, in my experience with DS consistent STTN didn't happen until over a year even though he started sleeping through at 9.5 months. Obviously the age will vary depending on the baby, but it does happen when they are older, honest!

Seaweed, I know that I have a bit of a nurse-sleep association, LOL. I think I've said this before but for me part of the problem is that I really enjoy bedtime feeds, they are my favourite feed of the day. The bedtime feed was also the last feed that Thomas held on to after he dropped his other feeds and I think I'm just really reluctant to move it completely out of the bedtime routine. I guess I feel they are only nursing for such a short time really and then it's finished. So I guess I want to enjoy my sleepy bedtime feeds while I can!

Gaia, sorry about the worst nap day ever. I hate those days!!! I agree with Steph, you always sound so calm and accepting, I really need to adopt more of your attitude!

Seaweed, you asked about the last time we did CC. Clara was just turning 7 months so it was just over two months ago. We did it religiously for 10 days and lengthened the intervals etc. She cried an awful lot for the first two nights, then she had a couple of better nights, then a couple more awful nights, and after that it gradually improved. The first night she barely slept at all, it was really very traumatic for both of us. Having said that her sleep really did improve dramatically. She went from waking every hour and refusing to go back in the cot to sleeping much longer stretches and only one or two night feeds. Her naps lengthened straight away as well. The problem was that she was still crying at bedtime, not every night but sometimes for 20 to 30 minutes, and also she still woke up briefly quite a lot during the night, crying for 5 minutes and then going back to sleep before the first check. I just felt that 10 days was long enough for both of us, I wasn't willing to let her cry indefinitely and I hoped that the improvements in her sleep would stick. Which they did to some extent until she got the chicken pox really I guess. I don't think her sleep has really recovered from that. I guess my concern is that if she's going to relapse with every episode of illness or teething, what's the point in going through all that crying in the first place?

 

[Noelle610]

Stephanie, to answer your question... Yes, I would start winding down and aim to have baby asleep at the optimal wake time. It's hard to factor in everything, but I make a good attempt Lately C has been fighting bedtime because she's at the age where she realizes it's more fun to be awake than asleep, so I'm working on starting a little earlier.

On STTN, I've been thinking about this discussion. I certainly think sleep training helps, but on a whole I really and truly believe it's mostly and age/temperament thing. For us, we saw a vast improvement when reflux subsided, which makes sense. I also think my daughter just "learned" to sleep. I think we make the mistake of thinking we have way more control over sleep than we do. I've had days where I've done all of the right things - great naps, lots of stimulation, great eating - and C still sleeps poorly. And I've had days where we've done all of the "wrong" things and she sleeps great. I think much of it is up to the baby's personality. I think that's good to hear, because it ensures you you're not doing anything wrong, but I think it's hard to hear too because you have to relinquish some control. Does that make sense?

 

[gaiagirl]

Thanks Ladies, actually DH did two naps for the first time ever yesterday which probably contributed to craziness. It's nice to know he CAN get baby to sleep for naps but he couldn't transfer him without waking him so the naps were all broken up and short. It could have just been a coincidence with teething too...

I ended up holding him for 1.5hrs on the couch because we had a dinner to go to and I wanted him rested!

Stephie he slept 8-6 too! Lol, our LOs are so similar

 

[gaiagirl]

Stephie if you look back to when I joined this thread, I did not feel this way! I was beyond stressed and analyzing everything and felt huge pressure (friends, family, general societal expectations) to get him sttn because somehow I kinda felt like his sleep was a reflection of my abilities as a parent. But through seeing all these amazing Mommas struggling and also a Wait It Out support group I am in on FB (it's amazing if you are interested PM me) I started to realize that actually, this is normal. And it's OK to do what works for us now and I am NOT ruining him forever and he will eventually learn to sleep independently

It was a huge weight off of me to accept these things, because I know that sleep training is not for me or us, and so really waiting is all I can do. There's a real peace that comes with that! For me, anyways

Disclaimer: this does not mean I don't have frustrated, exhausted, soul sucking nights that I need to rant and vent about! I definitely do! Lol

 

[stephie_corin]

Thanks Gaia, this is exactly what I needed to hear tonight.

 

[AmyS]

Been doing lots of reading on this thread over this sleepless weekend! Thank goodness I can catch up on some sleep with the hubby home.

So far, our last 2 nights have looked like this:

Asleep by 7pm, and I usually have to resettle her once or twice before 9. Then, she sleeps until 12:30am. I feed her, but when I try to put her back down, she wakes right back up. It's been taking me anywhere from 1-2 hours to get her back down. She likes sleeping on her tummy, but as soon as she rolls onto her tummy, she wakes up and starts crying. I need to figure out how to gracefully put her down on her tummy. I haven't figured that out yet. Then, she is back up at 4:30 or 5, so I laid with her in bed one morning until 6 and rocked her this morning to keep her asleep.

The one good moment from last night: I had picked her up because she was crying, and she was pushing against me and crying out, so I put her back down. She started rolling back and forth between her side and her tummy, intermittently crying out, but she settled herself back to sleep that way! I was so proud!!! But then she woke up 10 minutes later screaming again.

seaweed - I understand the "nursing to sleep" association for yourself! I think I would miss that part of our night too much to give it up right now. It's the sweetest moment. And since things are going so well right now....?? I wouldn't mess with it!

stephie - Cat naps again, huh? I've decided not to even worry too much about naps at the moment. As long as she isn't napping too much during the day and too close to bedtime, I'll let her be.

gaiagirl - That sounds like a good support group! I just recently started reading the Wonder Weeks, and I'm definitely in the Wait It Out mindset now. Realizing that she's right in the middle of ww26 makes me more tolerant of this sleep deprivation experiment that she's trying out on me. She's proven to me more than once that she can self settle on her own, so I'm going to give her time to get through this developmental stuff and see where we end up!

Noelle - I agree with you - it all depends on the baby! My LO must have gotten her daddy's personality because I am laid back and love to sleep haha!

 

[polaris]

Amy, just in case it helps, the way that I used to put Clara down on her tummy when she used to go in the cot - I would feed her until her eyes closed and she went floppy, then I would lift her up onto my shoulder with her tummy to my chest. If she started kicking then I would nurse her some more, but if she stayed relaxed I would hold her like that for a couple of minutes and from that position I found it reasonably easy to pop her into the cot on her tummy without disturbing her, with my right arm supporting her chest and my left arm supporting her legs and then just ease my arms out.

 

[polaris]

We've had a good day today. I've reduced wake-times slightly and am trying to give her a longer wind-down time before naps and bedtimes. I've also given up on getting her to sleep in the cot because she just seems to hate it all of a sudden. So she is sleeping on the futon for naps and nighttimes now. It really seems to be working well. I am feeding her lying down so I can just detach her when she falls asleep without having to move her. However, the last couple of sleeps, she has actually detached herself, rolled onto her tummy and gone off to sleep herself! She was always good at self-settling so I'm really pleased that she hasn't completely forgotten how to do it! I'm also feeling so much more relaxed about the whole situation today and just more accepting that this is where we are at for the moment and actually enjoying the little things again, like waking up beside her in the morning and sleepily feeding her during the night. I have also discovered that she moves around a lot during the night - I think she must have been waking herself up a lot bumping into the cot sides.

Also, I don't know if I mentioned my guilt feelings about co-sleeping with Clara while my 3 year old slept on his own. Recently he has been talking a lot about not wanting to sleep on his own and I was really trying to figure out a way for him not to feel excluded. Well - he has come up with his own solution! Last night he told me that he was going to sleep with daddy in the big bed and I could sleep with Clara on the futon. So nobody has to sleep on their own! I am so pleased, it honestly makes me feel much better about co-sleeping with Clara that he isn't on his own at night. It might not be for everyone but it seems like a good solution for us for the moment. Then when Clara is old enough, the two of them can share a room and me and OH can go back to sharing a room again!

 

[AmyS]

Amy, just in case it helps, the way that I used to put Clara down on her tummy when she used to go in the cot - I would feed her until her eyes closed and she went floppy, then I would lift her up onto my shoulder with her tummy to my chest. If she started kicking then I would nurse her some more, but if she stayed relaxed I would hold her like that for a couple of minutes and from that position I found it reasonably easy to pop her into the cot on her tummy without disturbing her, with my right arm supporting her chest and my left arm supporting her legs and then just ease my arms out.

I get what you're saying! I will try that tonight! I hope this helps a little, she makes it hard to fall asleep when all I do is wait for her to roll over!

And that's a great plan your son came up with! I would have been feeling the guilt too, but it sounds like this will be a really good solution for now!

 

[NotNic]

Thanks Stephie. My sister was a premmie with a whole heap of problems but she's doing great now. They don't know how or why she works but she does!

Thanks for all your advice on the consistent STTN. He's just turned one, so I think I might continue to WIO. I suppose I could let him cry, but part of me knows that if I did that he has the willpower to make it a battle. Colic babies are persistent! When he settles so quickly it seems churlish to let him cry. It could easily backfire on us. Plus he tends to cry in his sleep. If left he may well wake himself up properly and end up with MOTN parties which could have been prevented. Does that make me a chicken? I suppose I could set myself an age goal. At the moment I optimistically say I will see you in the morning. Perhaps when he has a better understanding I can tell him that mummy won't be in until it's time to get up. Until then I think I might just try to be stronger about not going in until the pitch of the cry changes.

I have started to get a little stricter about morning times of a weekend though. Today he woke at 6am and I managed to pretend it was nighttime and he went back to sleep until 7am and then I let him talk to the cats for another 25mins. Every mum I speak to who has a baby who sleeps well past 7am tell me that they never go into their child's bed before that time even if their los are awake. I'm beginning to think that if their babies were allowed to have been an early riser, then they would be iykwim. Obviously some babies are programmed to be early birds, but I'm beginning to think that for a good chunk of them it becomes learned behaviour, rather than their personalities. A lot have phases of being awake early, but if they weren't encouraged to get up then it passes quick. I was just so flipping grateful that he slept 'well' that I took 5.30am. However I won't beat myself up too much. He is the personality double of my sister (my other one!) and she could regularly go out clubbing, get in at 4am and be up the stables by 7am mucking out the horses. I strongly suspect he is just an early bird at heart.

 

[seaweed eater]

Bedtime tonight was just awful, nearly an hour of screaming, by far the worst this week

I put him down earlier than usual because he was acting sleepy. I'm hoping it's just that he was undertired, or teeth. It's the right time for an extinction burst but this would be quite a burst. I just feel like a horrible person and a horrible parent. It feels warped to tell myself that sitting next to him and avoiding eye contact while he cries himself hoarse is for his own good, even though I really think it is. If it's not a one-off, STTN or no STTN, I'm not going to do this for longer than a week.

Working on a response to the rest of you. Hope you are all well tonight/today

 

[seaweed eater]

Gaia, I have definitely noticed a shift in how you seem to be thinking about things! I think it's awesome! Even on this thread where everyone is so supportive, I think there's always pressure to work on things and make progress all the time, and it's good to remember that it's also ok to embrace the craziness.

Stephie, up every hour is killer I'm so sorry! I hope last night was better!! Any teeth yet?

1.5 hours is a LONG time to lie next to a tired baby who wants to be rocked! I don't blame you for giving in. And yeah, I'm really pleased about the naps. I sort of thought the day would never come! He's back to 2+ hours of daytime sleep, which is really good. On Friday he had 2.5! On weekdays he takes his morning nap at home and his afternoon nap at daycare, where I'm honestly not sure how they manage to get him down, but they have some magic that none of us have been able to replicate at home. I do find that he ends up adding an hour or so to his middle WT compared to what he would do at home, so maybe he's just more tired.

Polaris, I'm glad you've gotten some more rest and things are going better. I really hope you continue to have a restful week. Glad to hear you have stopped trying the cot, too. I think that sounds wise right now. It sounds like you're not prepared to win that fight at all costs right now, so better not to fight at all IMO. And glad you found a bedsharing solution that works for everyone!

I've been thinking all day about how to respond to you about sleep training. I think what this week's experience has taught me (even with tonight being like the old days) is that things CAN be different the second time if you're lucky enough to get the timing and the method right. Munchkin's temperament hasn't changed at all. He was super persistent before our last attempt at sleep training, and he obviously still is. But for whatever reason he seems to have somehow managed to see this time around, at least up until tonight, as an opportunity to learn something new (or something like that?) rather than as something to fight us on. Again, with tonight being the one exception so far, it's always seemed like he's fallen asleep because he's tried to fall asleep, not because he's just run out of energy to fight -- which is so so heartening. I don't think there's any way I could have known in advance that this would happen; it really was just luck. I wouldn't feel right encouraging you to try again, because I don't know how you would predict whether it would go better this time. I know how much it hurts to see them cry so much, and I think you are right that you need to be prepared for that if you try again. But, even if you, like me, have built up a narrative about why it failed last time because of the way your LO is, and none of that has changed, I guess I would just say that things can still be different. And I'm going to stick by this, based on the past three days and nights, even if our situation ends up going completely downhill and we quit and never try sleep training again...if that happens you can blame me for trying to put LO down too early tonight and ruining everything forever.

Regarding pulling up in the crib, the Sleep Lady says to not lay them back down but just pat the mattress and encourage them verbally and wait. I don't know whether that sounds feasible at all.

Amy, I'm sorry you are having the tummy rolling/crying issue. We went through that briefly. I think it was only a few days IIRC, but my sense of time is a little blurry! Anyway, I hope your LO grows out of it soon. Have you (you probably have) tried patting or rubbing her back once she rolls? That almost worked once with mine, and he hates being patted at all.

NN, I don't think you are a chicken to want to WIO. It sounds like he is happy and generally sleeping well, and if things are working then there's no reason you should feel obligated to change them! You seem to know him and understand his patterns well, so I'm sure you can trust your instincts.

 

[rmsh1]

This looks like a thread with a lot of experience I could do with....

I have scared myself by reading books telling me how my baby should be sleeping. She is almost 12 weeks old, and about three weeks ago just suddenly gave up her 5-6 blocks of sleep at night. I have no idea why and I can't seem to get them back. She wakes something like 3hrs, 2.5hrs, 2hrs - getting shorter til she gets up. She seems to prefer going to bed at 9.30pm, thought i am trying to get her to bed earlier than that by starting a bed time routine. The breaks in sleep are starting to get to me now, just building up slowly. I have asked many of my friends that are parents, most tell me I need proper schedules during the day too. This is hard as Emma gets up at different times each day. I cannot predict when she will have her day time naps, it changes every day.

Basically I am feeling at a loss right now

 

[polaris]

Seaweed, I'm so sorry you had such an awful bedtime last night. I really hope it was a once off or that Munchkin was just undertired. I do find that Clara will often not fall asleep if I try to put her down earlier than expected, even if she seems tired. Fingers crossed for a better night tomorrow. Thank you so much for your thoughts about sleep training. It really does help to get your perspective. I am definitely not ruling out the idea if necessary in the future, if it reaches a point where the current situation really doesn't seem sustainable.

rmsh - welcome to the thread. Honestly I think what you are describing sounds very normal for your LO's age. I wouldn't stress too much about the early bedtime yet, 9.30 is a good bedtime for a 12 week old baby in my opinion, it will naturally move earlier with time. Just watch out for her getting tired earlier in the evening so that you don't leave her bedtime too late for too long. I also wouldn't worry about the daytime routine being inconsistent. Neither of mine have settled into any sort of consistent daytime routine until about 6 or 7 months. At this age I would just go by wake times. How long after she wakes are you putting her down for a nap? Also, how she is sleeping now really doesn't predict how she will sleep in a few months time. My first slept absolutely terrible at 12 weeks but his sleep improved dramatically at four months and although it remained up and down for the first year he was generally a reasonably good sleeper after the first four months. My second slept really well at 12 weeks but things went seriously downhill at four months and I have been a constant visitor to this thread for months. So there's just no way of knowing yet! Try not to worry too much about what other people's babies are doing, she's so young at the moment, everything can change so much.

 

[stephie_corin]

Amy, I feel for you. That sounds so tough. We've had a few nights like that with LO up for hours and thankfully they haven't lasted long. I hope she starts sleeping a bit better soon. I think you said you are sleeping in her room? Can you take the side off the crib and push your mattress against the cot? You might be able to get a little more sleep if you can pat her or rub her back from a lying down position as soon as she stirs. When C was in his cot I'm sure the act of picking him up woke him even more and made it harder to settle him.

Polaris, I'm so glad the cosleeping is working out! And very cute that Thomas and daddy are now sharing

Notnic, your sister sounds like a fighter ! The other one sounds slightly insane I agree the early wakings are a learnt behaviour. Some of us are naturally early risers or morning people but I don't knows many adults who would naturally wake at 5am. Cully is an early bird too and I rock him back to sleep at 430, 515 and finally at 6 I let him get up, although its a constant battle! Good luck with getting Finlay to nap longer.

SE, I'm sorry the evening was so tough. I hope the rest of the week improves for you. I don't have any advice on the sleep training but I'm sure the others will give you some wise words of wisdom. Hang in there my friend.

Gaia, my DH hasn't put Culver down for months because he nurses to sleep for every nap. I don't think he'd have much luck though! Good on your DH for trying, things can only get better, right?

Still no sign of teeth for us! I tried shortening his awake times and he was having none of it. We did 2.75, 3.25 and were aiming for 3.25 again but his last awake time ended up being closer to 4.45 even with wind down starting at 2.5! He is a stubborn monkey that's for sure.

 

[stephie_corin]

This looks like a thread with a lot of experience I could do with....

I have scared myself by reading books telling me how my baby should be sleeping. She is almost 12 weeks old, and about three weeks ago just suddenly gave up her 5-6 blocks of sleep at night. I have no idea why and I can't seem to get them back. She wakes something like 3hrs, 2.5hrs, 2hrs - getting shorter til she gets up. She seems to prefer going to bed at 9.30pm, thought i am trying to get her to bed earlier than that by starting a bed time routine. The breaks in sleep are starting to get to me now, just building up slowly. I have asked many of my friends that are parents, most tell me I need proper schedules during the day too. This is hard as Emma gets up at different times each day. I cannot predict when she will have her day time naps, it changes every day.

Basically I am feeling at a loss right now

Hi rmsh, and welcome. I agree, LO is very young and this sounds reasonably common for her age. I would start by waking her at the same time every morning. Pick a time that suits your family (say, 7am) and from there you should get an idea of her natural napping patterns. Although expect things to change quickly as the weeks go by!

Do you nap during the day when LO is sleeping to catch up on sleep?

Hugs to you xxx

Edit - let us know how you approach naps, night wakings, how much day sleep LO is getting?