Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[gaiagirl]

Melly! Hugs!!!! That is so stressful, not only being tired but worrying that baby isn't getting the sleep she needs. It WILL get better i promise. I do hear a lot that after 11-12 months sleep does improve...

Ok so, I think first - one nap. Definitely one nap. If she's fighting naps AND having awake periods at night then one nap for sure.

Also, if there is any way to cosleep (your bed on the floor, a futon or mattress in her room on the floor) I would do it. At this point you both need sleep, and in my experience not having to get up makes a WORLD of difference.

Hang in there!

 

[NotNic]

Bababas - Beginner's luck?! I think 10minutes of them laughing at me doing stupid, sleep deprived dancing and letting them bang along with wooden spoons wore them out. My niece rarely naps at that time so I do think the universe was being kind to me.

Melly - definitely one nap. F started having days of just one nap from around 10mths, though it was very go with the flow. He has only fully transitioned to one nap days since turning 13.5mths but occasionally he still needs two at nursery. I know its difficult with one arm (my oh broke his middle finger on his right hand recently and had it strapped across his chest for a few weeks, and it was so restrictive with a baby), but try to allow her as much physical play time as possible - park, soft play etc. to burn off that excess energy. Also it might be worth leaving her to it. Not necessarily CC/CIO but giving her no attention why she plays. It might have become a habit for her to be used to having you there while she plays. Maybe try removing the toys too if you think she's becoming overstimulated and its stopping her from settling. Or try a boring playtime before bed, away from the room she sleeps, like a simple, repetitive toy and soothing music in the background. F and I think Polaris' Clara are a bit like that. They could happily keep going and going, becoming almost hyper as it gets later. Finlay now runs round the room, going from one end to the other. Fantastic if we are out, as he's so happy and sociable. Awful when you've just had a day and you need a break.

Lysh - hope your first week is going well. It's hump day and nearly the weekend!

 

[gaiagirl]

^^^ My Finley is like that too, happy and goofy no matter how long he's up! It's hard! But then again, cranky and miserable would be worse lol.

 

[mellyboo]

Thanks girls and I broke my arm in the middle of the night at 4am I was so tired I walked Into my bedroom door which made me fall on my arm and I tore the door handle off all at the same time honestly I wanted to give up at the moment I never felt like such a fail in my life I'm so tired I don't even have a voice left its all scratchy!

 

[bababas]

so sorry how that happened with your arm oh man and there you think you would brake an arm while going skiing or something. poor you

how is she when she sleeps only one nap?

ds1 was only on one nap when he was 10 months. i tried and tried to make him sleep the 2nd but it just never worked. so after 2 weeks of trying i think... i gave up.

is she better in the night with one nap? and i agree with the others try not to give attention while she is awake.

 

[stephie_corin]

Hi everyone! I'm writing from the Maldives - we squeezed in one more trip before I have to go back to work. Gaia, we had so much fun trying to get the mattress put on the floor. We have a one bedroom villa and we now have a mattress on the living room floor (no sofa) and a mattress on the bedroom floor. After three attempts to explain what we wanted (this being the final result) we decided to just run with it! It's actually worked out really well because I can nap with Cully in the living room or the bedroom.

Cully was brilliant on the plane but his nursing gymnastics are making it a bit more awkward to feed him to sleep! He was so patient even when he had to sit still. I'm really proud of him.

We also think he is finally getting over his ear infection. The doctor was happy for us to wait and watch for a few days before trying antibiotics and I'm glad we did after the research I've done. I'm giving him echinacea three times a day and we saw a chiropracter before we left. If anyone wants more details just let me know.

Bababas, I had to laugh at your neighbour singing. That's so annoying! I'm glad the 2 nap transition has gone so well for you guys. It's tough when the first nap goes wrong and it has a domino affect on the rest of the day.

NotNic, what a horrible MOTN party! You poor thing! We have all been there and spoken more sharply than we'd ever normally do. You're a wonderful mummy so don't feel bad about it. One thing I've noticed when Cully is inconsolable with me is that if another person comes into the room or his line of sight (daddy) he actually calms very quickly. If its just the two of us he can arch his little back and scream for a very long time when he is worked up.

Lysh, I hope the first week is going well! I can understand how much you miss your daughter. I am going to be so sad when I go to work. But the ability to form attachments to other caregivers is a wonderful gift you are giving her. How many naps is she taking? Your family sound wonderful to hold her for her naps!

Gaia, 10pm bedtime! Wow! You must have been so tired! What time did he wake up? So many teeth for such a little man. Or maybe Cully just has very few (4 little stumpy teeth poking out!).

Melly, sorry that you are having such a tough time. I agree - one nap! Cully had two naps the other day when he was really sick but he is happily on one now. I'm trying to cap his last awake time at 5-6 hours or he gets really overtired. Things will get better. Hang in there!

 

[bababas]

have fun in the maldives. i wish i was there too congrats to your good boy. ds1 would prolly go bananas on the plane. thats why i never dared to travel with him. i feel different about ds2. but now i would have to take 2 with me. but then prolly wouldnt bother anymore... used to all kinds of nonsense since having a toddler.

our night was (i think he slept his second nap too long... 4.30pm ish. i have to wake him up 4 i think to keep a good 8.30pm bed time)

8.30pm sleep (oh he sleeps the first stretch in his bed now. angel care made 1 beep hate this thing)
11.45pm drink
--- i think he drank again short after hardly remember
3am drink then was a bit hard to go back to sleep for him
6.30am awake and pooped, he has been massive poop since the antibiotics for his ear infection.

he is napping now. did i tell you we have another neighbour who always drives into the fence, and then just continues driving i told the landlord he knows about this. just some woman who keeps on driving into everybodies cars and fences

 

[AmyS]

lysh - Hope your daughter is learning to take some good naps while you're away!

bababas - I have to cap the 2nd nap before 4pm too, or she takes too long to settle at bedtime!

Melly - You poor girl, breaking your arm like that!!! That would be so frustrating! I hope if you decide to transition to one nap that it goes smoothly for you.

NotNic - I've been there too - spoken a little sharply to my poor girl when I know it's not her fault. The only thing I've been able to calm Chloe down with when she gets like that is a bottle. Even her daddy makes her crazy if she's in a "mood".

Stephie - I am seriously jealous of your vacation! So glad Cully was awesome on the plane - it makes travel so much easier. Where do you get your Echinacea from?

 

[mellyboo]

have fun in the maldives. i wish i was there too congrats to your good boy. ds1 would prolly go bananas on the plane. thats why i never dared to travel with him. i feel different about ds2. but now i would have to take 2 with me. but then prolly wouldnt bother anymore... used to all kinds of nonsense since having a toddler.

our night was (i think he slept his second nap too long... 4.30pm ish. i have to wake him up 4 i think to keep a good 8.30pm bed time)

8.30pm sleep (oh he sleeps the first stretch in his bed now. angel care made 1 beep hate this thing)
11.45pm drink
--- i think he drank again short after hardly remember
3am drink then was a bit hard to go back to sleep for him
6.30am awake and pooped, he has been massive poop since the antibiotics for his ear infection.

he is napping now. did i tell you we have another neighbour who always drives into the fence, and then just continues driving i told the landlord he knows about this. just some woman who keeps on driving into everybodies cars and fences

haha who literally drive's into a fence and keeps going

Last night we have these 2 people who are wanted by the police roaming around our city we live in and all night you can hear is sirens and sirens they had so many road blocks and stuff to catch this guy it was soooo sketchy!!


She woke up twice last night ( I can handle that).

 

[seaweed eater]

Time to catch up! How is everyone doing today?

Lysh, the weekend is almost here! I hope everyone is feeling better and that naps are improving

Stephie, really sorry C has been ill. It is so tough when they are miserable AND you can't get any rest. Is he feeling any better? How are you feeling about everything? I hope the vacation does all of you good!

Polaris, I agree, it doesn't sound to me like you are too controlling, either! Of course, I say that as someone who probably seems crazy in how much I try to protect Munchkin's sleep routine. But I understand. It really does throw things off so much if you just let it go. You are very thoughtful to put in so much effort to help her get enough sleep.
How wonderful that your OH managed to get her down for a nap. It's so nice when that happens! Feels like it lifts the burden a bit. How have things been since then?

Bababas, welcome back, I'd been wondering what happened to you! I'm so glad things are going so much better your nap guidelines sound perfect. Are you still getting engorged during the night? Maybe instead of waking him you could just pump or hand express a little, just to take the edge off. Our boys' birthdays are coming up!! Do you have a big party planned for Ivar?

Amy, sorry you're having the sitting up problem. That was really tough for us and we really just had to WIO. I hope things are getting better. How has the week been?

NotNic, so sorry you guys have been struggling I'm sorry F is so sensitive to teething. You do such an amazing job with him. Really! It sounds like you make it so clear what you expect from him, but you also take a gentle and patient approach. You deserve amazing sleep! Don't be hard on yourself for losing patience with him. It doesn't destroy the wonderful bond you have and the attachment you have cultivated over his entire life.
Please do write something bitter to your FB friends. I am always tempted to do that too! "Soooo tired, little man was up at 6:15 this morning." Seriously?!?!

Gaia, sorry you are having such late bedtimes again! You really have a little night owl. And a little teether...poor F! I hope things have been a bit better.

Melly, so sorry about what happened to your arm! I broke my leg a couple years ago and found it so emotionally draining to have that kind of limitation. It must be so much more intense trying to parent that way!
Your daughter WON'T hate you if you sleep train her. But if you are worried about it, it seems like a good idea to see if you can get on a good routine with one nap, and if that makes things easier.

I do think sleep training would help though it sounds like she probably is chronically overtired and just doesn't know how to wind down. How does she fall asleep at bedtime? Mine has started showing much more obvious sleepy signs since the last round of sleep training. Before he would just go straight into his second wind without seeming sleepy for a second. But now he is giving classic sleepy signs much earlier than I would have predicted a few weeks ago. I think it's because he knows how to go to sleep on his own so he can take the initiative and slow things down, instead of waiting for me to do it, if that makes sense?

I also would take her out of her crib after half an hour if she's playing. I think it's important to maintain different associations with different environments, e.g. crib is for sleeping. Obviously you can't control that completely but if she's been playing for hours and isn't slowing down, I think you should take her outside.

AFU - things have been really good!

Mostly STTN, sometimes waking once. We had a random bad night earlier this week when he was unsettled from about 2:30 AM and couldn't stay asleep for the rest of the night. I can't tell whether he's teething, which probably means he's not. Maybe he was hungry.

He's also often going to sleep happily. I'm so proud of him! And as I wrote to Melly, he's showing much clearer sleepy cues, which I find really interesting.

The only thing that's not ideal is the continued early morning poops, which make it impossible to put him back to bed after he wakes up, usually around 5:15. But I will soooo take it.

He's still taking two naps, one around 8:15-9 (often in the car on the way to daycare, but sometimes at home if I can go in to work late enough) and the second at daycare sometime in the afternoon. So far there's only been one day when his second nap got really really late. So I'm pleased with that.

Of course, next week I have to work much longer hours than usual, so I'm sure that's when this good streak will end. But it's just for a week, so I'm hopeful that we can get back into a good routine once that's over.

I apologize in advance for continually falling behind on this thread! Things are going to get increasingly busy at work from now until the new year. But I'll try to check in when I can!

 

[mellyboo]

Thanks girls !

 

[bababas]

hi SE

im glad for your good nights. and i hope it will stay like that.

yes we will have a big party i guess

we went bday gift shopping today. and left Ívar at MIL and FIL. Aron was just sitting nicely in the babyseat of the pushwagon. i so enjoyed it, how quiet nice he behaved. i will always remember, we used to dine out with ívar when he was little. but when he turned 1, it was embarrassing to dine out with him he threw OH phone over to a tourist couple in the fine dine we were in. so i am really enjoying my baby aron as long as i can. haha.
OH wanted to buy Ívar a really expensive bday gift. that was for 4 years old. and i was like Hell no. so tomorrow he wants to go again with ívar and show it to him and let him choose. i was like ok but you are not allowed to buy that expensive thing.

we are definitely on two naps.

Ívar has to go 30 mins later to bed as usual since his noon nap is affecting his sleep. but i dont want him to drop his noon nap. well so Aron heard that OH was reading Ívar stories while i was trying to make Aron sleep. he just wanted to go over to Ívars room. so i just went there until story time was over. since there was no way anyway to make aron sleep while his brother is awake. *sigh, well at least ívar can keep him awake and i dont have to worry if he wakes early from his second nap never happened yet, since he likes to sleep 2pm-4pm. good for me i can nap as well. mm but tomorrow is a weekend. and their naps are not in sync anymore. lets see how tomorrow will be im a bit scared lol.

 

[stephie_corin]

SE you do so well to catch up with everyone! It's so interesting that munchkin is back on 2 naps. Good luck with your busy period at work. I hope that it's not too disruptive for you guys.

Amy, I bought an echinacea syrup that doesn't have alcohol from the pharmacy. I'll message you the name when Cully wakes up. We just went to the resort doctor and she said Cully has pretty much completely recovered! I'm so glad we didn't give him antibiotics unnecessarily. There were times this last week where I doubted my decision but it was obviously a viral infection and resolved on its own!

Sleep for us has been pretty good - 2 hour stretches except when he first falls asleep and the early morning. He's still taking one nap, but seems quite fussy and tired. I've tried to nap him earlier/later and offer a second nap but he is pretty stubborn!

We had a 2 hour MOTN party last night. I feel like I rocked him for hours and hours. Daddy was getting in on the rocking action too and C just kept babbling away.

Melly, did you try the one nap? I'm glad you had a better night!

Bababas, your neighbourhood sounds hilarious!! That's great that Aron is doing his first stretch in his own bed. It must give you some nice relaxation time! Sorry that naps aren't in synch anymore. Good luck for the party!! Edit - I just saw Aron has an ear infection too! So sorry. I hope he feels better soon!

 

[mellyboo]

Hey i'm currently doing 1 nap she's a little tired during the day but she will prob just get used to it..

I had this blanket in her crib i always folded it tight to the bottom so she couldn't get caught in it but lately she's been pulling it out and making a pillow out of that blanket and falling asleep on it.. so last night in the night she was rolling around on it in the middle of the night to get comfortable.. i gave her a bottle and accidently passed out opps ( i'm tired) and she seriously slept from 3am-9am i thought i was going to have a bad night because she went to bed at 8 and woke up for the first time at 130 then 3 but i was refusing to give her milk until atleast 3am because OH is dumb and gave her 16 oz yes 16 oz before bed .. augh and woke up at 130 for more.. uh no! lol

anyhow its the longest stretch she's done in forever i dont no if it was because of the blankets made like a pillow she was comfy like that or what

She's having her first nap of the day and i took a pillow off my bed and gave it to her and shes been napping forever....

Should i just give her a pillow now she's almost a year old on the 6th of october? the pillow i gave her is kinda flat its not a super fluffy pillow or anything

 

[NotNic]

Finlay had a pillow from an early age. We put it directly onto the mattress and put the sheet over it to keep it in place. Perhaps I you're worried you could try that?

 

[stephie_corin]

Notnic that's a great idea! I've been wanting to give Cully a pillow. I wonder how DH will feel if I put a row of flat pillows under our sheet (we have Cully in our bed)... Maybe I could just tuck one under Cully's part of the bed. Thanks for the tip!!

 

[stephie_corin]

Melly, I forgot to say that I'm glad you had a good night! And 16oz?!?!? Wow that is a lot of milk!!! Lol.

 

[mellyboo]

Thats an amazing idea thank you so much i'm doing that before her bed time tonight..

Soooo last night she went to bed around 830 by the time she actually fell asleep and woke up at 1 am and slept right through till 730am...

I'm amazed right now..

Watch tonight i'll have the bnb curse !! lol

 

[mellyboo]

Melly, I forgot to say that I'm glad you had a good night! And 16oz?!?!? Wow that is a lot of milk!!! Lol.

Yes steph I couldn't frigging believe it.. I told OH he needs to ask me first because obviously we had no idea what each other was doing haha.

 

[polaris]

Sorry everyone, I've completely fallen behind. I have been reading but haven't had time to comment.

Clara's sleep has been quite bad. She is definitely in nap transition now and is having lots of one nap days. Days that she is having two naps they are generally both very short. She's coping well with it though and we've only had a couple of really over-tired meltdown evenings. I have no idea what time to aim for bedtime at the moment and it varies a lot.

There has not been any improvement in her night wakings. As of today, I am trying cutting out dairy from both of our diets, because I have noticed a couple of times that she has been particularly bad after a creamy dinner, waking a lot crying and with a lot of wind. Fingers crossed it helps a bit!!