Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[stardust599]

Haven't got time to read all the posts but I honestly think your LO's reflux is not under control and sleep training isn't the asnwer. Your LO already knows how to self-settle which means that there is something stopping her from doing so when she wakes. When she wakes in the night is the room, light, noise etc. exactly the same as when she first went down? If so I'd say it's definitely reflux! My DS knows how to self-settle and we have nights where he is comfortable and sleeps through except for a feed but other nights where the reflux is flaring and he is up every hour thrashing around, grunting or crying.

Is your LO's reflux medicated? BF or FF?

 

[bumpbear]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

 

[Noelle610]

40 minutes sleep 30 minutes resetting...it's going bloody brilliant so far hahaha. Noelle where can I get lavender oil for the bath from??! X

You mean you DIDN'T use the lavender oil?!!!!! Your baby will not STTN until she is 5

 

[lysh]

Yesterday I SHHHHed Mia in the face Do you ladies crack and do that or am I just awful? She actually laughed which made me feel better. It took me five hours to get her to have a 15 minute nap and I was just over it. She did roll for the first time yesterday though, from her tummy to her back, so maybe all those thoughts of rolling were keeping her awake. I hope you're all doing ok

Not awful at all, I crack too. Sometimes I will shush her loudly or pick her up a little more gruffly than I should, and I always feel terrible right away. I remember when she was a newborn there were plenty of times when I sat there sobbing with her in my arms at 2am saying "Why the $&#* won't you sleep?!" I think if the worst you're doing is shushing her then you're keeping it together pretty damn well!

lol....me too bananaz- I felt so guilty about it! I feel better knowing I was not the only one to swear in the middle of the night to my newborn. Minikiwi- I say if the worst you have done is shush her than that is amazing!!!

 

[Noelle610]

Haven't got time to read all the posts but I honestly think your LO's reflux is not under control and sleep training isn't the asnwer. Your LO already knows how to self-settle which means that there is something stopping her from doing so when she wakes. When she wakes in the night is the room, light, noise etc. exactly the same as when she first went down? If so I'd say it's definitely reflux! My DS knows how to self-settle and we have nights where he is comfortable and sleeps through except for a feed but other nights where the reflux is flaring and he is up every hour thrashing around, grunting or crying.

Is your LO's reflux medicated? BF or FF?

Hi Stardust, thanks for your reply. I'm no longer sleep training - it wasn't working for us and LO wasn't ready, I agree. I have to admit to being a bit desperate at the time. DH was really convinced it would work.

Yup, I agree that she does know how to self-settle! We keep lights dim, white noise on all night. We've really don't everything we can to make the conditions nice for sleeping.

Charlotte's sleep is all over the board the same way as you describe your DS - some wonderful nights and then some absolutely awful. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it.

We were using Zantac (raniditine) for some time, but I believe it stopped working. Her reflux seems to be getting much better recently, but she does have restless nights. We combination feed formula and breast milk, but I try to do mostly breast milk at night as it seems to settle better.

I've received conflicting information on whether solids prior to bedtime are good or bad for reflux. I'd love to hear your experience on that.

 

[Noelle610]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Sounds like a tough night! Hope you get some sleep soon

 

[stardust599]

Ahhh no advice on the solids. Solids make my DS's reflux much worse but my DD thrived on solids and her reflux pretty much disappeared once she was on 3 meals a day.

Was the ranitidine adjusted for weight as your LO got bigger? Do you have a paediatrician, you could ask for at trial of omeprazole 10mg. Is your LO worse the second half of the night? Reflux often peaks from 4am-7am as this is when acid production is at it's highest to kill off any bacteria from food eaten in the evening (unfortunately no amount of playing with meal times can change this as it is genetically built in to us!) Omeprazole tablets or capsules given around 6-7pm before the last feed help immensely during the night as they are delayed release.

Other things that may help -

Probiotics (good all rounder to aid digestive)
Digestive enzymes (the body produces more acid to digest food if it doesn't have enough enzymes)
Gripe water (sodium bicarbonate based - neutralises acid)
Propping the cot up to 30degrees and keeping LO upright/vertical for 30minutes after a feed (I know how difficult this is at night, even 10-15mins would help!)
Sleeping LO on left side (keeps the valve at the top of the stomach closed so stops acid leaking out)
Earplugs (LOL - stops you hearing the grunting and thrashing around in sleep but you will still hear LO if she is upset or crying)
Dummy - sometimes keeps my LO happy for another 30mins while I snooze

Hope something helps, my DS has severe reflux and also aspirates when he swallows, he is NG tube fed and has been on every reflux medication in the book - I'm a reflux expert unfortunately haha x

 

[MiniKiwi]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Oh wow, I seriously thought I would be in the minority but I feel much better knowing all of you shhh and yell at your babies too

Ugh really sorry you're having such a rough time, that sounds beyond exhausting

Even though it's obviously a big joke I'm actually going to try the lavender oil today lmao! Anything is worth a try!

 

[Noelle610]

Ahhh no advice on the solids. Solids make my DS's reflux much worse but my DD thrived on solids and her reflux pretty much disappeared once she was on 3 meals a day.

Was the ranitidine adjusted for weight as your LO got bigger? Do you have a paediatrician, you could ask for at trial of omeprazole 10mg. Is your LO worse the second half of the night? Reflux often peaks from 4am-7am as this is when acid production is at it's highest to kill off any bacteria from food eaten in the evening (unfortunately no amount of playing with meal times can change this as it is genetically built in to us!) Omeprazole tablets or capsules given around 6-7pm before the last feed help immensely during the night as they are delayed release.

Other things that may help -

Probiotics (good all rounder to aid digestive)
Digestive enzymes (the body produces more acid to digest food if it doesn't have enough enzymes)
Gripe water (sodium bicarbonate based - neutralises acid)
Propping the cot up to 30degrees and keeping LO upright/vertical for 30minutes after a feed (I know how difficult this is at night, even 10-15mins would help!)
Sleeping LO on left side (keeps the valve at the top of the stomach closed so stops acid leaking out)
Earplugs (LOL - stops you hearing the grunting and thrashing around in sleep but you will still hear LO if she is upset or crying)
Dummy - sometimes keeps my LO happy for another 30mins while I snooze

Hope something helps, my DS has severe reflux and also aspirates when he swallows, he is NG tube fed and has been on every reflux medication in the book - I'm a reflux expert unfortunately haha x

Solids seem to be helping us. I know it's different for every baby, so interesting!

My LO is in fact most difficult to settle from 3am on when we have a tough night. I didn't know reflux peaked at that time!

We have actually just switched pediatricians and have an appointment at the end of the month, as our former ped wasn't super helpful with the reflux and hesitant with meds (which I typically appreciate, but not in our case).

Thank you for these tips! I have heard really great things about probiotics, so perhaps we will give them a try. LO seems to sleep quite well on her side, but lately I can't keep her from rolling onto her belly... not sure if that helps or hurts yet, since it hasn't been going on long enough for me to make a call. And honestly, good call on the earplugs. One helpful tip my former pediatrician gave me was to turn down the monitor (or even turn it off). My LO's room is right accross the hall from us and I hear her every move without an amplification. She said babies - and especially those with reflux - are noisy sleepers and that if my baby needs me for a feed or change, I will know.

I'm sorry you are such an expert on reflux. It's the worst!

 

[MrsPear]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Oh wow, I seriously thought I would be in the minority but I feel much better knowing all of you shhh and yell at your babies too

Ugh really sorry you're having such a rough time, that sounds beyond exhausting

Even though it's obviously a big joke I'm actually going to try the lavender oil today lmao! Anything is worth a try!

If the lavender oil is the key then let me know and I will order a lorry load. X

 

[lysh]

Ahhh no advice on the solids. Solids make my DS's reflux much worse but my DD thrived on solids and her reflux pretty much disappeared once she was on 3 meals a day.

Was the ranitidine adjusted for weight as your LO got bigger? Do you have a paediatrician, you could ask for at trial of omeprazole 10mg. Is your LO worse the second half of the night? Reflux often peaks from 4am-7am as this is when acid production is at it's highest to kill off any bacteria from food eaten in the evening (unfortunately no amount of playing with meal times can change this as it is genetically built in to us!) Omeprazole tablets or capsules given around 6-7pm before the last feed help immensely during the night as they are delayed release.

Other things that may help -

Probiotics (good all rounder to aid digestive)
Digestive enzymes (the body produces more acid to digest food if it doesn't have enough enzymes)
Gripe water (sodium bicarbonate based - neutralises acid)
Propping the cot up to 30degrees and keeping LO upright/vertical for 30minutes after a feed (I know how difficult this is at night, even 10-15mins would help!)
Sleeping LO on left side (keeps the valve at the top of the stomach closed so stops acid leaking out)
Earplugs (LOL - stops you hearing the grunting and thrashing around in sleep but you will still hear LO if she is upset or crying)
Dummy - sometimes keeps my LO happy for another 30mins while I snooze

Hope something helps, my DS has severe reflux and also aspirates when he swallows, he is NG tube fed and has been on every reflux medication in the book - I'm a reflux expert unfortunately haha x

Solids seem to be helping us. I know it's different for every baby, so interesting!

My LO is in fact most difficult to settle from 3am on when we have a tough night. I didn't know reflux peaked at that time!

We have actually just switched pediatricians and have an appointment at the end of the month, as our former ped wasn't super helpful with the reflux and hesitant with meds (which I typically appreciate, but not in our case).

Thank you for these tips! I have heard really great things about probiotics, so perhaps we will give them a try. LO seems to sleep quite well on her side, but lately I can't keep her from rolling onto her belly... not sure if that helps or hurts yet, since it hasn't been going on long enough for me to make a call. And honestly, good call on the earplugs. One helpful tip my former pediatrician gave me was to turn down the monitor (or even turn it off). My LO's room is right accross the hall from us and I hear her every move without an amplification. She said babies - and especially those with reflux - are noisy sleepers and that if my baby needs me for a feed or change, I will know.

I'm sorry you are such an expert on reflux. It's the worst!

I am not big on meds either, but Prilosec has saved our sanity and has made LO much more comfortable!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Oh wow, I seriously thought I would be in the minority but I feel much better knowing all of you shhh and yell at your babies too

Ugh really sorry you're having such a rough time, that sounds beyond exhausting

Even though it's obviously a big joke I'm actually going to try the lavender oil today lmao! Anything is worth a try!

If the lavender oil is the key then let me know and I will order a lorry load. X

Lol, SHHHHH you smartass

 

[Noelle610]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Oh wow, I seriously thought I would be in the minority but I feel much better knowing all of you shhh and yell at your babies too

Ugh really sorry you're having such a rough time, that sounds beyond exhausting

Even though it's obviously a big joke I'm actually going to try the lavender oil today lmao! Anything is worth a try!

If the lavender oil is the key then let me know and I will order a lorry load. X

I completely understand the willingness to try ANYTHING! I'm a smart woman and relatively well-educated, but I still put rice in my baby's bottle hoping it would help her sleep I probably would have dressed her in a potato sack, spun around twelve times and sprinkled salt around her crib if I thought any of it would help!

 

[MrsPear]

Omg, I've been driven to say far worse than just SHHHH! And yup, I feel terrible as soon as I say anything mean to or around her! Can't help it though. Yesterday she was up every 45 mins again even in our bed (wouldn't last longer than 10 mins in her crib). Exhausted!

Oh wow, I seriously thought I would be in the minority but I feel much better knowing all of you shhh and yell at your babies too

Ugh really sorry you're having such a rough time, that sounds beyond exhausting

Even though it's obviously a big joke I'm actually going to try the lavender oil today lmao! Anything is worth a try!

If the lavender oil is the key then let me know and I will order a lorry load. X

I completely understand the willingness to try ANYTHING! I'm a smart woman and relatively well-educated, but I still put rice in my baby's bottle hoping it would help her sleep I probably would have dressed her in a potato sack, spun around twelve times and sprinkled salt around her crib if I thought any of it would help!

Hahaha I do know that feeling. X

 

[x Michelle x]

Can I join in as a mummy of a reformed bad sleeper... He is almost 9 months and has over the last few weeks started going 10-12 hour shifts, it's bloody amazing! He was also a reflux baby too. I thought by 3 months he'd start longer stretches, then by 6 months... I'd resigned to thinking 'surely he will by 12 months' and its just kinda fallen into place!
We started solids at 17 weeks, was on meals by 6 months... But he was still up 3-4 times a night, drinking bottles... But he was rubbish at milk during the day, clearly cos he was having it all at night lol! We just worked thru each wake up, rocking, cuddling, a little cry sometimes. We worked at one at a time, ie, the midnight wake up but I'd feed him for the others. Once he'd stopped waking at midnight we'd tackle the 2am... And so on and so on. Nowadays he goes 6:30pm to anything between 4-6am. I always try a dummy if its before 6, but I'm not going to spend an hour getting him back to sleep so if a dummy doesn't work, I just feed him and he will go back to sleep til about 6:30/7.
So as frustrating as it is (and j hated when people said this!) but hang in there and it will get better ladies
I also have a daughter only a year older than my DS so I could never nap during the day, I was constantly on the go with one of them and exhausted... But we have cane out the other side now, little people sleep, mummy and daddy can relax and everyone is still in one piece!

 

[Noelle610]

Can I join in as a mummy of a reformed bad sleeper... He is almost 9 months and has over the last few weeks started going 10-12 hour shifts, it's bloody amazing! He was also a reflux baby too. I thought by 3 months he'd start longer stretches, then by 6 months... I'd resigned to thinking 'surely he will by 12 months' and its just kinda fallen into place!
We started solids at 17 weeks, was on meals by 6 months... But he was still up 3-4 times a night, drinking bottles... But he was rubbish at milk during the day, clearly cos he was having it all at night lol! We just worked thru each wake up, rocking, cuddling, a little cry sometimes. We worked at one at a time, ie, the midnight wake up but I'd feed him for the others. Once he'd stopped waking at midnight we'd tackle the 2am... And so on and so on. Nowadays he goes 6:30pm to anything between 4-6am. I always try a dummy if its before 6, but I'm not going to spend an hour getting him back to sleep so if a dummy doesn't work, I just feed him and he will go back to sleep til about 6:30/7.
So as frustrating as it is (and j hated when people said this!) but hang in there and it will get better ladies
I also have a daughter only a year older than my DS so I could never nap during the day, I was constantly on the go with one of them and exhausted... But we have cane out the other side now, little people sleep, mummy and daddy can relax and everyone is still in one piece!

Yes, please! Us moms of insomniac babies love to hear success stories from those who have been there!

I really like the idea of focusing on one small goal at a time - certainly seems so much more managable than tackling the entire night and going right for STTN.

Glad to hear you are getting those large 10-12 hour blocks... there's hope for all of us!

 

[Noelle610]

I truly love that this thread started as a desperate rant and has now turned into support and story sharing. It's wonderful!

 

[bananaz]

Can I join in as a mummy of a reformed bad sleeper... He is almost 9 months and has over the last few weeks started going 10-12 hour shifts, it's bloody amazing! He was also a reflux baby too. I thought by 3 months he'd start longer stretches, then by 6 months... I'd resigned to thinking 'surely he will by 12 months' and its just kinda fallen into place!
We started solids at 17 weeks, was on meals by 6 months... But he was still up 3-4 times a night, drinking bottles... But he was rubbish at milk during the day, clearly cos he was having it all at night lol! We just worked thru each wake up, rocking, cuddling, a little cry sometimes. We worked at one at a time, ie, the midnight wake up but I'd feed him for the others. Once he'd stopped waking at midnight we'd tackle the 2am... And so on and so on. Nowadays he goes 6:30pm to anything between 4-6am. I always try a dummy if its before 6, but I'm not going to spend an hour getting him back to sleep so if a dummy doesn't work, I just feed him and he will go back to sleep til about 6:30/7.
So as frustrating as it is (and j hated when people said this!) but hang in there and it will get better ladies
I also have a daughter only a year older than my DS so I could never nap during the day, I was constantly on the go with one of them and exhausted... But we have cane out the other side now, little people sleep, mummy and daddy can relax and everyone is still in one piece!

Thank you, that's really encouraging to hear, especially because the method you described is almost exactly the plan I have for dealing with my LO's night wakings. I can't wait until I can get rid of her 11pm wake-up and I can at least get a solid 4 or 5 hours of sleep!

 

[x Michelle x]

Definitely focus on 1 thing at a time, I'm a big believer that some babies need to be taught to sleep, I mean you help guide them with so many other things, so why is sleep different?
My daughter STTN from 8 weeks, I'm talking 12/14hour shifts and I naively thought Hayden would be exactly the same
Don't get me wrong, some nights he might wake cos he is wedged in a strange position or has lost his dummy but some nights there isn't a peep from him til 6am..
It was hard tho, so many nights I wanted to just feed him, but DH kept me motivated, helped out some nights and I'm grateful for him for stopping me reaching for the milk straightaway. We weren't starving him, we knew he didn't need it, his feeds during the day were suffering, we just corrected his pattern a bit

 

[katrinalorien]

you guys are awesome to talk to.


I'm selling magic fairy sleep sand for... a price. One oz = 1 hr of assured, uninterrupted sleep. All natural, non habit forming, safe at 2 months +. Who wants some? How much are you willing to pay for a good night's sleep?