Sensitive kids group

[DaisyBee]

Yes the startling thing Megan is better the older she gets. But if something loud happens she definitely still startles. Like a truck starting up beside us or something. Jordan doesn't startle like Megan does. Last night dh told her the smoke detectors might go off as the burner on the stove was smelling like something was burning off under the pot. She freaked out, crying, carrying on, worrying about it going off as she hates the beeping. Dh thought it would be better to warn her, but it didn't matter she freaked out anyway, lol.

I am sensitive to pain. I suck at pain. I'm not afraid of needles either, but if I am hurt I have trouble forgetting about it, moving on to other things. It distracts me. Like I complain about a paper cut to dh who shows me a huge gouge out of his finger from work and he thinks it's funny that I complain about my little cut.

We use fragrance free for all things we use as Megan had eczema as a baby. Dh says that I am very sensitive to smells. I hate air fresheners, perfume, etc. So we don't have that sort of thing in the house at all. Dh brought in an air freshener a few months back and neither of the girls could sleep, and I think that was why. I moved it out in the garage, and the next day when we went in the garage Megan and I were both gagging over the smell. dh loved the smell. Haha.

I never talked about dh and me being sensitive or not... I will have to remember to do that still.

 

[OmarsMum]

Last night we went to Applebees, we didn't go there since last year, we went there 3 times only with Omar since he was born. Omar was very laid back when he was a baby, but I remember when we went there when he was 9-10 months he didn't stop crying so we had to leave. He was around 20 months when we went there the next time & again he cried & I couldn't distract him with crayons or the iPad. Yesterday he refused to sit there & he refused to eat, the housekeeper had to take him out for a walk until we were done eating. When I asked him why he didn't eat his food, he told me that the restaurant is not nice, it wasn't crowded or noisy, but it's general atmosphere is very overwhelming. Lights are too low above the tables, there are loads of stuff hanged on the walls.

Omar couldn't cope with the stimulation, so he decided to leave there was another restaurant close by with outdoor seating & nice sofas, it's too quiet, Omar went there with the housekeeper & asked them if he can sit

He told me next time he wants to eat in the nice restaurant with the nice sofas

I changed his clothes in the car & put him in his pj, I had his tooth brush with me. He fell asleep in his carseat before we reached home at 9.30 pm he woke up for a wee at 4 am, & he went back to sleep at 5. He woke up at 9.30 am. H also had a 30 mins nap at 2.30 pm in the car on our way to the class.

I'm so loving the early bedtime, he's sleeping much better, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do every night. It's working for now, so I will stick with it for a while.

He also went to the classes with the housekeeper, his teacher told me that he was interacting with kids as I wasn't around, I felt a bit hurt as I love to attend classes with him

 

[polaris]

Wow! I just wanted to share my messy play success! We made gloop from cornflour and water and food colouring. At first Thomas refused to touch it which I was expecting. So I played with it for about 10-15 minutes and he watched. It is really strange stuff! Then I suggested that it was a swamp for his dinosaurs and he went to get the dinosaurs to put into it. Then he was holding the big dinosaur while I poured gloop on it and some got on his hand. He freaked out a bit and ran off straight away to get the cloth, this happened a couple of times. But then he started dipping his fingers into it and then he just got stuck in!! He really really loved it once he started actually playing with it. We played with it for an hour and a half and he would have played longer I think except that it was drying out and I had to get cleaned up and make lunch. I'm going to upload some photos now. I can't believe how well it went and how much he enjoyed it once he got into it!

In other news (bit off-topic) we are getting a cat. She is about a year old and her owners are returning to Brazil on Sunday so they are desperate for a new home for her. Thomas is so excited! And I am quite excited too! We are not taking her until Sunday morning as I have my parents staying for the rest of the week and I want to wait until they've gone so I can give the cat the spare room to hide in for the first week until she gets used to us.

 

[Tacey]

Wow! Well done Thomas (and Polaris!) on the messy play! Looking forward to seeing the photos. How exciting about getting a cat too. I grew up with one, and she was like a sister!

Omarsmum, I love how Omar knows what he can manage, and is so clear about his expectations! Great news on the sleeping too. A decent night's sleep makes the world of difference doesn't it? Interesting that he was interacting well with the other children. I think Alice does better without me around too.

Having said that, today we got a call from the childminder. She had taken Alice and the other little girl to the Children's Centre for a Christmas party. Alice got very upset and had a meltdown while there, then refused to get in the car seat. DH had to go and pick her up. When he got there, the CM was cuddling her, which I'm really happy about. I am mortified about the whole thing though. She's ringing us later to talk about it.

 

[polaris]

Here he is once he started to enjoy it:

 

[Tacey]

That's fantastic! You'd have no idea he finds that difficult usually. Using it as small world play is a great idea. How about frothed up soap flakes as pretend snow? I hope it continues!

 

[DaisyBee]

Way to go thomas!! Those are great pics of it too! That book I mentioned... I remember it has an idea like that....

Omarsmum - megan is the same with restaurants. I choose my restaurants now with thinking about it in her eyes. We haven't been out much lately, but we decided after Xmas we are going to try again ( as Jordan seemed like too much work before, but think we would handle the 2 of them ok)
I'll write more later!

 

[polaris]

Tacey, I love the idea of frothed up soapflakes as snow! What sort of soapflakes would you use? I think he would love that. I'm really really pleased with how well it went, I must do more of this type of activity now with him!

about the incident today with Alice. Don't be mortified though, Christmas parties can be a bit overwhelming at the best of times. It's good that the childminder was cuddling her and that your DH was able to pick her up.

 

[Tacey]

I think any soapflakes work. You can even grate bars of soap finely to make them. If you add a tiny amount of water, you can use it to model with too, or use biscuit cutters.

Still no call from the CM. I think she'll ring after the children have gone. I've tried to discuss it with Alice, and explain she won't be able to go out with the CM if she can't be trusted to get in the seat. She just tells me "I can't go in car seats when I'm angry." I do wish the world wasn't so black and white to her.

 

[DaisyBee]

Tacey I wouldn't be embarrassed either... Ok I might be... But you shouldnt be! Haha funny how that works isn't it? I remember having similar with Megan once when she was overwhelmed. When Megan gets overwhelmed it's like the world has to stop. She can't cope until she feels more in control of herself. Last night while I made dinner dh and the girls were down stairs playing and Megan got too worked up. She was also hungry... And by the time it was dinner time she was crying and upset and couldn't come sit at the table. I went in her room with her and cuddled her with her weighted blanket over her and then she asked me to read her a book, and then another. She then was calm enough to go eat dinner.
Maybe it would be good for us to find ways for our kids to calm themselves down when out in public? It's hard to know what to do about it I think... Megan does seem to be gradually getting better at self regulating but it's very slow going it seems at times. When she is tired or hungry it's harder for her to keep in a calm state.

Have you heard of clean mud?

https://www.silkysteps.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3117 here is a link I found when I just googled

https://www.earlylearningactivities.com/PDF/wst.pdf I liked the ideas here too

 

[Jchihuahua]

Great pics of Thomas! Just a quickie as I am about to bath the kids but this site has fab ideas for sensory play that your photos reminded me of Polaris.

https://www.theimaginationtree.com/p/contact.html

 

[Tacey]

I've never seen 'clean mud' before. Definitely giving that a try!

I had a chat with the childminder, and it went really well. I am so delighted with how she dealt with what sounds like a really stressful situation. She even said "I want her to know that it's ok to feel angry and frustrated, but help her express those feelings in better ways." I think she was quite shocked, as people assume that Alice is shy, but she's perfectly happy to make a scene. Apparently, she had a mini cupcake at the party, and just ate the icing. She asked for another, and did the same. When she asked for another, the CM told her no. Alice apparently stood up, went bright red and shook all over as she screamed "I...JUST...WANT...MORE...ICING!" Once she's in that frame of mind, it is very hard to get her to stop. I am still so embarrassed, as she must have looked like such a brat to everyone there. The CM was still singing her praises to me when she saw me though, and said she thinks the whole thing had just overwhelmed her. I have really got lucky with that woman!

In other news, we had a hair washing breakthrough! I was in the bath with Alice, and she had brought some Playmobil things in with her (don't ask ). Out of nowhere, she filled up a little plastic bed with water and tipped it over her head. We both laughed, and she did it again and again. I acted like this was the silliest and funniest thing in the world. It was dripping in her eyes and her ears, and she kept on, laughing away. I suggested we add some shampoo, and she stopped laughing very quickly, and said she's not washing her hair, just wetting it with a bed . I then combed it, (pretending the comb was a character!) and we left it at that. If we can do water only for a while, I'll be really happy. I'm going to aim to get her to wet it every day. With a different receptacle each time if need be!

 

[polaris]

Yay, Tacey that is brilliant news on the hair-washing, it sounds like Alice has found her own way to desensitize herself which is fantastic! Your childminder sounds like a real find too, it's great that she handled it so well.

 

[DaisyBee]

Tacey - that is great that your child minder handled the situation that well. That is exactly the kind of person Alice needs!

And I'm so glad that Alice has had a breakthrough with the hair washing! That sounds like Megan and what she has been willing to do... Get her hair wet herself, if it's all in fun, and totally 100% in her control. Maybe I need to encourage more of that!

Megan also has had issues with us washing her face which is pretty normal for kids I think ... Jordan is the same.... But recently dh has been VERY silly with and and way over the top and it's helped her a lot with it. After lunch today I realized I missed her whole chin and asked her to come sit with me and I was on the floor, ended up holding her like a baby and she tilted her head back. As I sat there with her in my arms I was thinking it would be a great position to wash hair in. She was very calm, sat so nice for me wiping her off, she started singing rockaby baby. I then mentioned the hair washing and she made a comment about yes because then it wouldnt get in her eyes. So I think the eyes issue must be first on her mind and she is traumatized from those few times when it did go down her face. Im thinking of getting her some sort of goggles? And see if we can swing hair washing in the tub with me holding her like that. Its not a huge tub, we will see.

They had clean mud at toddler class and was a big hit with Megan. I do sensory tubs for her here at home, that I have to limit and do only at certain times or she gets overstimulated.. I have a Xmas one right now with split peas and added jingle bells, little felt stockings from the craft store, a few pinecones, etc. I have 4 totes the size of a large cake pan, they have lids, and we can just store it for another day. She loves them. Rice and beans are big hits as well. I add rocks, gems, little things for her to search out in there or play with. Like little fish, Halloween I found plastic pumpkins, I add a small bowl and spoon. She has sensory play but also pretend play with the items in there, and does counting of objects, sorting, etc.
I've had her do finger painting with hand lotion... I have her sit at the table and give her the hand pump as she thinks thats more fun to pump it herself, then give her a few paintbrushes, a cookie sheet, and a small towel if she feels like she gets too messy to pump.
Foam soap which is the same as shaving cream but smells like strawberry etc, and colored.
Goop - 1 cup corn starch, 2 cups baking soda, 1 1/4 c water. Mix, don't cook. Can add coloring.

Those are some of the actual "messy" ones she does. The sensory boxes aren't messy but are about feeling with fingers.

She likes it when we paint her hand with a paintbrush and then do handprints that way. It changes it from just dipping hand in paint ( which we've done too).

 

[OmarsMum]

Aw, Polaris lovely pics, glad he's enjoying messing play

Tacey- great start, at least she's not freaking out with water on her head anymore, sounds like great progress. Your childminder sounds lovely.

Today I met SIL's friend. Her 3.5 yrs son is exactly like Omar. I didn't like her attitude towards her son's sensitivity. According to her, her son is spoilt as he cries if someone tells him to stop doing something in a stern voice. According to her boys are not suppose to be sensitive. The kid is so cute, he doesn't play with kids his age. He already goes to pre-school (the one Omar will go to next year) but she's not happy with it as they don't teach them anything. She thinks they spoil kids as they are soft with them

I love that school! I visited all schools in the area, this one is the best when it comes to kids like Omar. They work on building the self esteem of their students, they teach them how to have confidence without being scared of failing. They don't assess kids based on their grades only. They look into their over all development & they organize one to one parents- teachers meetings.

Today we went to the end of season party at kidville, SIL & nephew were with us, we have an amazing time, Omar refused to take a pic with Santa, he smiled & said hi to Santa, he wasn't scared but he wasn't interested in the pic. Nephew cried so hard when he saw Santa bless him.

They had a corner with fake snow & a snow man, the kids played there for half an hour, then they went to the gym room to play, Omar wasn't bothered with the crowd, I found that he can cope with crowd when his cousin is with us.

Then they had a musical show & Omar followed the songs actions

I was so proud of him, we had the best two hours! the kids played outside after the party for over 3 hours he didn't whine or feel tired.

I gave him dinner in the food court close by, then I took him to the toilet for a wee & quick wash, I changed his clothes in the car & put him in his pj, & he fell asleep in his carseat. We had an amazing day!

 

[OmarsMum]

Here is Omar & his cousin
https://i937.photobucket.com/albums/ad212/wickedangel_78/8F19E66B-ED1C-4E73-A8F2-0B388302E9CD-71-0000001595689621.jpg

https://i937.photobucket.com/albums/ad212/wickedangel_78/AEE3A77A-4EB3-48B6-B7A8-AE5EFD9C6CC6-71-0000001591011F28.jpg

Omar in the car before he fell asleep. He asks for his sunglasses when he wants to sleep

https://i937.photobucket.com/albums/ad212/wickedangel_78/A7993AAE-5CCC-4610-81B9-846FF100EA17-71-0000001599F602E4.jpg

Th housekeeper bought a bracelet for him with his name letters on it, he loves it

 

[Jchihuahua]

Great photos Omar's Mum! It sounds like you've had a lovely day. I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

Tacey, your child minder sounds great and very understanding. It seems like she dealt with Alice's meltdown really well. The way you described her meltdown reminded me a lot of Daisy.

Daisy hates her hair washed too. She gets worried about it as soon as I tell her she's going in the bath then she screams all the way through the hair washing. She used to be good at having her hair washed when she was younger but she's terrible with it now. She hates her face washed too.

It is Daisy's birthday on Sunday and we are taking her to an adventure park for under 10s. Loads of people have told me she'll love it and it is amazing but I'm not so sure. I hope I've done the right thing and she copes with it. If she gets overwhelmed that's when her tantrums start and once she is in that frame of mind there is literally nothing I can do to snap her out of it.

 

[DaisyBee]

Omarsmum - sounds like a wonderful day! That is sad that the mom of the 3 1/2 year old thinks boys shouldn't be sensitive. Is this someone you can have playdates with for Omar?

Do you think Omar feels more secure with another child he is close to there vs. Kids he isn't as close to? Love the pics!! Very cute! Is this the school you knew he was going to next year or did you just find this place? It sounds fantastic!

Jc - sometime do you want to go into details about your kids? You mention daisy being overhwhelmed sometimes.. Does that happen often? How does she act?

 

[OmarsMum]

It's the school I mentioned earlier (Victoria International school) I posted a link here, I love their concept in teaching & it's too close to our place. Here is the link
https://www.viss.ae/viss/Links/home.aspx

I don't think I'd be interested in a date with the mum, we're so different, she's a grump & she talks negatively about her son. I can't stand her attitude. She doesn't play with her son, she thinks I'm weird as I'm so baby centered. She considers my parenting as spoiling.

JC- I really hope you have a wonderful time

 

[polaris]

Gorgeous photos Omarsmum! I love the photo in the car with the sunglasses to go to sleep. Sounds like a great day.

Jc - I hope Daisy's birthday goes well, it's so hard to know sometimes isn't it? Sometimes Thomas copes better with things than I would have expected and then I worry whether I protect him too much. But then if he doesn't cope I regret putting him and myself in that situation.