Sensitive kids group

[polaris]

I have been wondering about unsuitable toys and small parts for a while now. Clara's nowhere near mobile yet but obviously it will be coming down the line. Thomas is quite tidy but he does have a tendency to hide small things in various places, I can really relate to the story about Megan hiding the bits of her tool set. I think we can only do so much though and some small bits are going to slip through the net. Cutie, I love that Christina will tell you if Caitlyn gets something she shouldn't have, I think Thomas might quite enjoy this type of monitoring role to be honest! (How do you pronounce Caitlyn's name by the way? Is it "Kate-Lin" or "Cat-Lin"?)

 

[cutie4evr01]

Moomoo, big - sounds like you are having a very stressful time at the moment. I would agree with Polaris in being reluctant to label him with anything yet. He is still quite young and 3 is a difficult age for many toddlers and their parents. They are struggling with learning how to deal with their emotions and sometimes acting out is the only way they know how. I would recommend trying to show him a little extra attention and just ride it out for a while. Also, I believe sometimes there are health/dietary things that can spark aggression in kids (I don't know much about this to be honest, but sugar does put Christina into quite a hyper state) - does he seem to be feeling well?

Polaris, Caitlyn's name is pronounced "Kate-lin" - we actually debated the spelling of it for a long time (either Kaitlyn, Caitlin, Katelyn, etc.). I feel a little bad for her because our last name is very unusual so she's going to be stuck spelling out her first and last name when people are writing it down for her whole life. I'm hoping both of my girls marry someone with an easy surname

Also, I can't recall if we've talked about this before (I apologize if we did), but are any of you planning any more children? My husband had a vasectomy soon after Caitlyn was born, and I thought around this age I might start regretting it and getting broody, but surprisingly I'm quite excited about her getting older and don't miss the baby stage at all. I think I enjoyed it so much more this time around knowing she was my last (and she was such an easy baby, so that helped) so at least for now, I'm still quite happy with our decision.

 

[polaris]

I don't think we have talked about it before. I'm pretty sure that Clara is my last baby. I am getting rid of all the baby stuff as she outgrows it. Before she was born I thought I wanted another and was really sad that we probably wouldn't have any more. But now I feel like it's the right decision. Hard enough juggling the needs of two. I don't feel like I could give another baby the same level of attention. Also I am 38 in April which plays a part in the decision, along with financial and practical considerations.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Moomoo I am sorry things are so tough. I really strongly agree with the others though about not labelling him as potentially having ADHD yet. Such a lot of toddler behaviour does mirror aspects of ADHD and he is still so young and may well grow out of it when his understanding and language improves. If a parent questioned me in my role as an early years teacher about whether their child could have ADHD I would say it is far too early to tell at the moment. Also what cutie said about his diet is an important point. I have read in your posts before that you struggle with his diet. I have this problem with Daisy and often wonder if her poor diet is partly responsible for her behaviour.

I am TTC number 3 at the moment. I am over 35 and don't want to wait much longer to have another baby because of my age. My husband is a twin and I'd acually love twins too! I am desperate to have another baby to breastfeed again too. Daisy self weaned at almost 18 months but Tommy stopped feeding at 9 months much to my great upset. He was having more expressed bottles than breastfeeds because of his medication and went on a BFing strike at 9 months and never started again however hard I tried to get him to feed so he has expressed milk. I really wasn't ready to give up feeding him then though.

 

[DaisyBee]

Polaris - I really liked your post to moomoo and I think it's a good thing for all of us to do. Especially right now with the holidays and my kids being overwhelmed, things weren't stress free! So thinking about all the good things always helps put perspective on things.

moomoo it's so hard sometimes isnt it? I'm sorry that holidays were rough for you. I will say that I'm amazed at the difference in Megan from even a few months ago. Since started to walk at 14 months... She has bolted. If outside she would refuse to hold our hands, refuse to stay with us. Just take off. I really felt like I couldn't take her places wth Jordan in the carrier as Megan would just go running and I couldn't run with Jordan without shaking her too much. It really made me feel limited in what I could do with the girls when dh was at work. We even fenced in our backyard last summer as we wanted to be able to sit and enjoy the outdoors without constantly just running after her. Lol well... I think she is outgrowing it. She will walk with me downtown and hold my hand, she will stay right with me and listen, even if I am not holding onto her. I'm totally shocked as it was such a huge issue for us, and caused others to question about her as well. When overstimulated and in certain places she acts more crazy and running all about, no attention at all. Like the library. So we stopped going as it was just too stressful for me as I couldnt control her at all. When I was pregnant and supposed to be on modified bed rest I realized she was faster than I was and I couldn't magage. Then after Jordan was born she was still acting the same way there, so with the 2 of them it was just too much. Well we went about a month ago, and one of the librarians commented on how much she has changed, she said ,"wow she is standing still!!" lol and she was right. She was much better, not running the aisles of books, not grabbing everything off the desks, etc. She was so much calmer, exactly like my story about her at the dr office. Last summer running around the halls that form a square and a nurse and I trying to get her and her acting out, this time totally different child.

Megan also is horrible with sugars and any chocolate really affects her a lot. I've noticed that she acts out a lot if she is hungry so I've been making sure she eats more often and trying to incorporate more protein. She isn't a big carbs fan , so at times at breakfast she will want to have to swallows of milk and a couple strawberries and that's it. Well that's not good enough to last til lunch, even though we have lunch at 11.

 

[DaisyBee]

Dh and I aren't sure if we are having another baby or not. After Megan was born I was very broody, but it didn't matter if I was or not, as we both knew we were having another, it wasn't even a decision. I had 2 miscarriages, one when Megan was 12 months, and another 4 months later. 3 months later we conceived jordan. She had choroid plexus cysts on her brain that they found during our scan ( they are a marker for Edwards). And then I was on modified bed rest during the last part of pregnancy because of my bp. I also had spd. Megan was iugr when I was induced with her at 37 weeks, so jordans pregnancy had that worry as well ( related to my bp). I made it to 38 1/2 weeks before they induced with Jordan. Dh thinks that whole emotional stress contributed to by undiagnosed depression after Jordan was born. So pregnancy for me is a big reason NOT to have more kids. But after Jordan was born dh was broody, but not me at all. I said no more, no more pregnancy. Well now I'm feeling better and we've been talking A LOT about if we want another or best to stop at 2. Dh and I love and miss traveling. More babies means we will have to wait longer to travel. Our concern as far as putting 3 kids through college as thats just insane how much that costs. Is it fair to our other kids to have to stay at home like we have been so much, if another baby will be similar and won't sleep or eat away from home. Vs being able to go to the zoo and parks and weekends away. And any time the kids are tough and driving us crazy we think we must be mad for even contemplating another one. Lol but then each of us realizing that all of those reasons arent very important in the scheme of things. We worry that we would regret not having another. And we know how much we love our kids, and in moments with them we both feel like we would want to have another. it's such a big decision this time. Jordan wasn't a big decision, of course we were having another. So now we feel confused. Im hoping over time either the broodiness will go away or we will get even more broody and it will become clear what the right decision is.
Dh is 37 and I just turned 34. We feel like if we do have another it should be sooner vs later. Our plan is to concentrate on losing weight and try not to think about another baby for a few months and maybe by then we will know what we want without over thinking it.

 

[Tacey]

On the tiny pieces issue, after my initial panic, I think I'm managing a bit better with Arthur being mobile. Alice responds really well to very rigid rules, so I've said we have a one toy out at a time rule for her (this means she's FINALLY helping me tidy! Yay!). Things like Play Doh On the tiny pieces issue, after my initial panic, I think I'm managing a bit better with Arthur being mobile. Alice responds really well to very rigid rules, so I've said we have a one toy out at a time rule for her (this means she's FINALLY helping me tidy! Yay!). Things like Play Doh are played with at the kitchen table, and dropped pieces are picked up immediately. Playmobil and other things with tiny bits in go in her bedroom. I've told her that any tiny things in the living room will be 'tidied' until the end of the day when I put everything back where it should go. That seems to have stopped the migration of things a bit. I'm being more disciplined with keeping the house tidy too, which is frankly very overdue! Alice is somewhat overenthusiastic in policing what Arthur has. The poor boy often has completely safe items snatched from him as she bellows "Not for Arthur!". On the upside, she's a great extra pair of eyes for me.

Polaris, that sounds like your chat with OH was really successful. The things you mentioned were very familiar! Funnily enough, I found mine cleaning the kitchen cupboards this morning - I hope it was a New Year's resolution!

Moomoo. It is SO hard when you don't want to be around your own children. I've been in that place many times. I think Polaris has given some excellent advice. I hope you're managing to get some time to yourself too. Managing difficult behaviour is exhausting.

Ooh, good luck TTC JC! No more children for us though. I'm quite amazed really, as I was broody straight after Alice was born, and not being pregnant felt like I was grieving in a weird way. Throughout my second pregnancy though I was certain I didn't want any more, and DH is, if anything, even more adamant than me that we're all done. I've found it incredibly hard managing two, I think I'd explode if I tried to look after 3! I'm only 28, but my family have a history of early menopause, so I would realistically need to conceive in the next 3 years and I couldn't cope with that age gap.

Happy New Year everyone! I wonder how much our littlies will change in the year ahead. I watched some videos of Alice last year, and she seemed so little. It's hard to see when we're in the middle of it, but they do change so quickly.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Happy New Year everyone! I wonder how much our littlies will change in the year ahead. I watched some videos of Alice last year, and she seemed so little. It's hard to see when we're in the middle of it, but they do change so quickly.

That is so true! I was looking at photos last night, reminiscing about the year just gone, and there were some of a day out we had at a Medieval day at a stately home in early summer. It was quite possibly the worst day out we've ever had with Daisy. Her behaviour was awful from start or finish and I remember feeling mortified and so embarrassed. On the photos she looks so little and just a baby really though and at the time I didn't see that. People would have seen a very little girl having a tantrum not the awful behaviour and lack of parental control I'd imagined everyone was witnessing.

Happy New Year! I fully intended being asleep for 12:03 but the fireworks woke Daisy and she was scared and didn't sleep again all night. Once she's woken up she won't settle in her bed again but if we have to put her in bed with us she is dreadful! She doesn't sleep at all, messes about, pokes us, throws the pillows, makes noise, giggles, fidgets but never sleeps. My heart sinks when she wakes in the night as I know none if us will get any sleep. I hope your New Year's Eves were better than ours. It's a lovely sunny day here so I hope we can summon up the energy to go for a walk later!

 

[OmarsMum]

Hi ladies I was (still) so busy, sorry I wasn't able to post recently.

JC- daisy sounds exactly like Omar. We also have issues with potty training. Thankfully he's dry day & night now & he's in big boy pants but still no success with poop. He needs a nappy to poo.

As for food, his diet is limited, I gave up on trying new things, I just cook what he likes, he gets separate meals most of the time, I can't live on rice all week. I'm happy if he gets 3 out of his 5 a day. He eats well those days, & he asks for food, but only his favs. Dining out is a disaster, he doesn't like any food at restaurants. He will only eat short grain Australian rice at home- he's very picky.

He was similar to daisy when it comes to physical activities, but now he's much better. We go to 2 classes one a gym class & the other one is a soccer class, we spent half of the semester watching only, but at the end he started to join in, we registered again in the same classes, & we're starting again next week. I also try to take him out to the park almost everyday. The weather is good now. He likes to push toys while walking & those toys help him to run. He also likes to push his big buggy. At home I encourage him to run around instead of sitting all day. We play catch, hide & seek & we jump on the trampoline. He's more active & now he can cope much better when we go out for a full day. It's a great change. At 1st he used to whine & cry everytime we used to go out, dressing him was almost impossible.

My work partner who's a certified NLP trainer told me that new habits in kids take 15-30 days to become part of their routine, resistance to change is normal. But when you change habits they become the norm once those habits become part of their daily routine. She has a highly sensitive 8 yrs old son.

She told me that I did the right thing by taking Omar out everyday to socialize & play. I used to cuddle him in public when he used to end up with a meltdown, I used to reassure him that he will be ok, but I didn't give up, & I stopped leaving & taking him back home. Now he started to enjoy his time when we're out, he doesn't ask to go home anymore. We still cuddle & take quiet time when we're out, we sit in a corner & we watch from far, but we don't leave. It wasn't easy but it worked at the end.

Does she has a comforter? Omar doesn't but he asks us to carry him when he's overwhelmed & to hold him tight.

We still have issues with the hairdresser, shoe measuring, doctor, etc. he doesn't like strangers touching him. The last time we went to the hairdresser I took my cousin who's also 3 with us for a haircut. He went 1st, then Omar had his cut, he was a bit fussy but it was the 1st he had a haircut without meltdown. For shoe measuring, I do it myself outside the shop. He screams when we go into a shoe shop.

 

[OmarsMum]

Polaris

We have some activities that are only for daddy & Omar. Omar is a bit difficult with DH, he whines a lot when his dad is around, he wants his attention all the time but DH gets frustrated because of the whining. I try not to argue with DH around Omar or order him around (bad habit I'm trying to work on).

Omar is bossy, he likes to show his dad how to do things, so DH pretends that he can't do something then he asks Omar to help. He screams at his dad when he can't do something his way, DH gets frustrated & he looses control instead of assuring Omar that it will be ok, he doesn't know how to use the right words with Omar. Omar doesn't even accept sleeping next to his dad although he bed shares with me.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Wow, Omar and Daisy really are very similar indeed in so many ways. I always thought they were as things have come up in many posts where they have been very alike, for example they both had their obsession with letters and I remember about a year ago posting about Daisy refusing to cooperate at her music class and Omar had been having similar issues at the same time, but wow, reading your post they really are the same! Daisy doesn't have a comforter. She stopped having a dummy at 4 months old and has never formed much of an attachment to any of her toys. She actually hates soft toys and I have had to take all her teddy bears out of her bedroom as she wouldn't sleep with them in there. She uses us as comfort and needs us close to her if she's upset or insecure.

I'm glad I found this thread as I don't like always posting about the issues we have with Daisy in the main forum but here it is really useful to hear of similar issues and also get non judgemental, thoughtful advice. Thanks ladies .

 

[OmarsMum]

I'm trying to read all posts

I don't tell Omar off, I talk to him nicely, but I don't let him get his way if it's something unacceptable. I honesty don't listen if he's speaking in a whiney voice, he should stop & ask nicely. I don't shout anymore, I speak to him in a low voice, he listens better than using a firm or loud voice. I smile while talking to him & I tell him it's going to be ok but he should stop crying & whining. I used to shout a lot few months back but I'm not so proud of it, it used to add to his frustration.

I mentioned earlier about my cousin who's 6. He's highly sensitive, his mum never told him off, now he's a spoilt brat, & he thinks if he screams he will get what he wants. I don't want to reach to that point when Omar is older.

When he screams or orders me around, I keep smiling & I talk to him calmly while jumping around or acting silly, it helps in improving his cranky mood, he laughs & whines then he forgets another the whining.

 

[OmarsMum]

moomoo I know from your other posts that Reggie is active by nature. I noticed that Omar is more active & aggressive since his 3rd birthday. He's laid back by natur but it seems that he has some hormonal changes, he's much louder, he's into everything, he's & more naughty. I really hope it's only an age thing

Omar is not feeling well today he started to have a temp last night, he refused to go to the car ride to sleep, he didn't fall asleep until. 2am he's very whiney & off food today. I can't deal with him. He's whining now & asking me to carry him. A lovely way to start the new year

Happy new year ladies

ETA: as for having another baby (I'm the only one here with 1 kid only ), we're still not sure. We need to think about it soon, we're not young, I'm 34, DH 48. But I don't want to get pregnant & go through birth again

Our plan is to start TTC when Omar goes to pre-school in sept. I need to concentrate on my new work, my pregnancy wasn't easy.

 

[shady567]

Hello - I was searching online for help on managing overstimulated toddlers and stumbled upon your forum. Reading your posts have given me such a relief that I felt I must chime in and thank you for sharing your stories. By the way, I hope I'm not intruding!

I too have a son who will be 3 in March and exhibits many of the symptoms you have described in your posts. He is very sensitive to sounds, textures, etc. Does not interact or show much interest in kids his age; sometimes demonstrates poor eye contact etc. etc.

He was assessed for an Autism Spectrum Disorder to no avail - the psychologist could not rule it out completely. So she has asked to see him again in 6-9 months. and therefore, I'm on a quest to find out if his sensory issues are indicative of an ASD.

After all, there are no scientific tests to rule out ASD; the assessment is purely based on what "he says" versus "she says". And while I've struggled with my sons issues from day one, I can't help but think that they are probably just sensory issues (he does not have any significant development delay).

You sound like wonderful mothers who are so in sync with your child. I feel I'm in over my head trying to come to terms with my son's behavior. And I can't thank you enough for sharing such a wealth of information online.

 

[DaisyBee]

Hi shady - I can't speak for the group but I'm very overwhelmed at times. It really helps to talk about things!

I've done online asd quizzes and Megan scored very low. She has always been a big talker, likes to communicate, and although likes to takea step back and observe before jumping in, she likes other people. I was clicking links the other day from someone else's thread and ended up in spd info. All of the info was broken down into 7 ( or so) different areas - sight, sounds, etc. And the way it was all worded. None of it sounded like Megan. The auditory that I've been questioning, this website was saying they have a hard time with words and won't always hear the right word, etc. Megan doesn't have that issue at all. She hears us perfectly well. So I've talked to dh and we are wondering if some is just being scared? She can handle certain noises when she knows to expect them or if from something fun like a toy. We got her a Xmas train that goes around the tree for Xmas ( as I figured out she had no real interest in play trains. ) but she loves this train - she can just watch it on the track. And it will be put away in a month, to come out next Xmas. Anyway.... Its pretty loud. And she is fine with it. And yet dh's trimmer for his facial hair... She doesn't like. She doesn't melt down, but asks him to turn it off. And its way quieter then the toy train. And the hand mixer for making cookies. If I turn it on without announcing it first, it's a meltdown. If I tell her first she freaks out for a bit, but not really a meltdown. If she helps me hold it and pushes the button, she is fine.

Omarsmum - hope omar is feeling better!

Megan loves her comforter. She doesn't really play with stuffed animals or dolls even though she loves pretend play. She has her blankie and very very attached to it. Her chewing on the sensory toys... She seems to need to chew on things when winding down. So during reading books before bed. Otherwise she is grinding her teeth or biting her nails. It seems more of an anxiety thing though. But she shouldn't be anxious during calming down time?

 

[OmarsMum]

Hi shadi- welcome to BnB & our group- I also feel overwhelmed most of the time

Daisybee- Omar grinds his teeth when he tries to fall asleep. It's a new thing, he used to bite on his dummy at bedtime, then he started to make sucking noises using his tongue when we weaned him off the dummy & now he started to grind his teeth which is very irritating

I don't know if I should get him a chewy toy, he went through a phase of biting his nails, but he stopped recently, now he's grinding his teeth. I don't want him to have a new soother at this age.

 

[DaisyBee]

The chewy toys seem to help to get it out of her system. ( the biting nails and teeth grinding) Her nail biting is still there, but if reading books without a chewy toy it's constant us removing her hand or reminding her to stop. And she doesn't want to stop biting nails. She doesn't take them to bed, and it's very different than the pacifier for her. Although I think it's what she was so into her pacifier for... As during toddler years she used that mostly for chewing on. Lol if upset or going to bed she wants her blankie. And before sleeping now she has been humping her blankets. It's only started after we took the pacifier away.

The biting must just calm her down? Dh as a child used to chew on his shirts. I would say he is pretty sensitive and he said he did it when he felt anxious.

 

[DaisyBee]

Omarsmum - how is the new business going?

 

[OmarsMum]

Is it a normal blanket or a small one? Omar will not go to bed without his blanket. But it's a toddler bed size. He carries it around the house when he's tired. The worst nights are when we have to wash it, but he asked for a new one recently as according to him it's getting small.

Today we had an awful night. I took him out for fresh air, we stayed a bit long until 8 pm, he fell asleep in his buggy so I had to run home, he stayed asleep when I changed his clothes, but his nappy was dry (he doesn't wee in his nappy anymore), he didn't have a wee since 2 pm. So it was scary. At 10 pm he woke up irritated from his blocked nose, when I asked him if he wanted to use the toilet he threw a tantrum, I begged him to wee anywhere even on the floor but he refused & started to jump up & down while screaming, he wanted to back to sleep. It took us almost an hour & hundreds of visits to all the house bathrooms to finally convince him to wee. During the tantrum he said he was hungry, he's not eating much for the past 3 days he asked for yoghurt, so I got him a pit of plain yoghurt, which added to his frustration, he wanted an orange yoghurt (apricot one) but we didn't have any, he screamed & screamed & asked to get dressed to go to the supermarket to buy some yoghurt. I asked him of he wanted a milk pudding, he calmed down, said yes, & I fed him one on bed, then he started to throw a tantrum again when I asked him one more time if he wanted to wee.

He didn't calm down & finally sleep until 12 am!

 

[OmarsMum]

Omarsmum - how is the new business going?

We're still in the process of finalizing the paperwork & license, as there were holidays things were on hold. There are many girls I know who are interested in the consultation sessions & in the training courses which is a good start,

Today I went to fitness 1st with DH & we enrolled there, the manager was so nice & he said that he's going to put some brochures for us on front desk & with the application forms free of charge,