Sensitive kids group

[polaris]

We had a no nap day today because Thomas just didn't fall asleep, although he did have a rest in bed. He actually coped very well with it, he was tired this afternoon and just wanted to read lots of books and not do anything too challenging, but no meltdowns. He asked to have his bath early with Clara and he was in bed and fast asleep before 7.30. I am wondering now if maybe this time he is getting ready to drop the nap as he's been awake way too late in the evenings in the last week or two. I'm going to keep offering a nap though for the moment and see how it goes.

 

[Tacey]

Hi everyone! I really should reply more often. Here's my latest novel :

Daisybee, what's Megan's biggest issue with the tops? is it getting her arms stuck, or feeling smothered? Alice is generally fine with dressing, so this may not help, but when she's taking an age, we have similar success with silliness. I whisper, "shall we surprise daddy/Arthur?" And she gets ready super quickly and yells "Surprise!" once she's done. Another thing I'll do is say "Come on now, hurry up and put your shirt on your legs." She thinks it's hilarious that I'm trying to make her do something wrong, and takes great delight in correcting me, and showing me how to do it properly. I've gone on a bit, but glad you're making progress. is there any chance a similar technique could help with hair washing? I've done similar things to your DH, so can sympathise. It does make it so much worse though. My DH has been struggling lately, and Alice really plays up for him. He told me he's finding it hard to like her. How are other people's partners managing?

Alice hates coats and jumpers pulling up her sleeves, and has bizarrely opted to push them up herself before putting the outer clothing on. Looks horribly uncomfortable to me, but I think she feels more in control.

JC - I agree with the others. We get the brunt of our children's behaviour. I have had countless meetings with parents when they're astounded when I tell them how well behaved their children are in class. I foolishly took this to mean I had excellent behaviour management skills, and would breeze through parenting. Ha Ha. Love the videotape idea. I'll be doing that! Exciting news about nursery. I hope it goes smoothly.

Polaris, hope you're getting more sleep. It's horrendous trying to manage day to day without enough rest. Any teeth yet?

Shady, I hope Arad is on the mend now. On the childcare front, I recently started sending Alice to a childminder, as I was desperate for some time away from her. I was convinced she would struggle, but from the first day she was fine, I didn't even do the usual settling in period. Sometimes our children can surprise us. Could you do a trial to see how he manages?

Hi Alaska! Wow, I think you were very restrained in replying to the fb comment. It's a common viewpoint though. I hear it a lot as Arthur is laid back, and so many people say it's because I'm more relaxed second time round. I can't help take that as criticism of how I was/am with Alice, and unfair criticism at that!

Omarsmum, so sorry about the business and night terrors. Have you any idea if there's been a trigger for Omar? Alice went through a brief phase of them, and it was exhausting. I hope it passes soon.

Our big news of the week is that Alice has weaned. She told me at the end of a feed that she'd have milk "in no more minutes." I didn't really believe her, as she loves (loved?) nursing, but she's not asked again. It's lovely, but I'm finding it hard as we have very little physical connection already. I told her she can always have cuddles, but she said she's too old for cuddles . I'm trying to respect her (frankly, excessive) need for personal space, but I am aching to kiss or cuddle her. I am delighted that she'll go to the childminder, or stay with relatives without upset, but a part of me wants to be missed. I know that's horribly selfish.

On the fear/anxiety issue, Alice is certainly cautious. She's confident in her abilities though, and is a good climber/runner and zooms on her bike! She's quick to put her brake on if she feels out of control. Her fears are dogs, loud noises and washing her hair. She also can't cope with stories or programmes about bears/monsters/lions etc. pretty much anything remotely threatening. She talks herself out of it though, and often tells me "Gruffalos are not real. They are only in books." She also persuades herself she likes something "I really, really, really like bears now. They are really kind." you can tell she's uncertain still though!

I made a bit of a mistake this evening that highlighted her need for routine. My parents were here, so for once I had more time to put her to bed. We usually have one story, and when she (inevitably) asks for another, I say no, and she readily accepts it. Tonight I thought "why not?" and read her another. She asked for a third, and had a huge meltdown when I said no. The boundaries had shifted, and she didn't know where she stood. I will learn eventually!

 

[DaisyBee]

Polaris - Interesting on the no nap with Thomas. Megan napped today, we were going to go to story time at the library but right about the time to get ready she decided she didn't want to go and wanted to paint at home instead. It was the start of the decline of the morning, nothing major... She just had little things that I was realizing she was a bit tired from yesterday. And by nap time she was sitting by the door with her gloves, shoes, stocking hat, and scarf on in tears as she wanted to go play in the snow and I suggested we nap first. Her reaction was so strong it convinced me she needed a nap. Lol

Tacey - the getting dressed issue is that she now feels like shirts or coats are going to get stuck. She had a shirt get stuck while dh tried to pull it over her head and then when he tried to get her pj top on the arms got stuck and she freaked out. Some pjs here are tighter on purpose for fire safety reasons, don't know if it's the same there... But not a good idea for her I guess. She seemed concerned but ok, but after a few days to think it over she became very fearful of putting any shirt on or off. Thank you for the ideas!

Dh is usually very very good with her, and we both try so hard to be calm with her. But I think he just had a moment of huge frustration. He said if he ever feels that way again he plans on leaving the room. We both discussed how frustrating she can be and and how we need to respond to her. And how we just took 10 steps back and lost any hope of progress with it in the near future.

Megans fears include loud noises - the worst ones being the smoke detectors and trains when we are very close to them. ( as I suppose these are the loudest noises she hears?) she is now handling the vacuum cleaner as long as I warn her ahead of time and she stays in her room with the door latched shut. One time I only just barely shut it, it didnt click, and that wasn't good enough. Lol but this is a huge improvement as she is handing it! She doesn't like mil's dogs but they are very loud dogs. Mil keeps them in a different room when we are there and I wonder if that makes it worse as she can't see them. But they aren't around kids ever, and although not big dogs they are very jumpy, intense, and hyper. One likes to growl, and all of them like to use their teeth on things. So we have said they can't be around the kids. Megan is fine with our neighbors dogs and will pet them. She is scared of getting water in her ears and eyes ( so hair washing), scared of getting stuck in her shirts. She also doesn't want to play downstairs alone and will walk down there but come running crying that something is going to get her. She is scared of public toilets. She is afraid of things in movies or in books that appear scary, anything that is going to get her... Dragons, monsters, etc. It's hard to say that she is scared of slides and swings, as she isn't crying, running away, she just won't do it unless at our house.

Wow tacey - Alice weaning is a huge thing! I can see where you would feel like you do about it If you ask her if you can give her a hug or hold her hand - what is her response?

 

[polaris]

Tacey that must be quite emotional that Alice has weaned. It must be hard that she doesn't want physical affection. Thomas is very physically affectionate, sometimes excessively so in that he will demand cuddles or to sit on my lap when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner or similar, but I do love and treasure it as I know the time will probably come when he won't want cuddles from mum.

Thomas does the exact same thing in relation to talking himself out of being scared of things, "gruffalos aren't real" and if he gets a bit scared by something like an animal or a pretend monster, he will say "it's a friendly one, it's not a fierce one" as though he is convincing himself.

No teeth yet, thanks for asking, she was actually much better today though, still red cheeks and constant drool but in much better form. She actually slept most of the day today so I'm wondering if it is actually a bit of a growth/development spurt as well as teething. She is 19 weeks old which is a wonder week.

 

[DaisyBee]

Polaris - Maybe she is making up for the lack of sleep lately... Too bad it's during the day vs night though! Hopefully things will settle down soon for you!

Megan doesn't do that at all when she is scared... When she is scared, she is scared. And she isn't talking herself out of it at all.

 

[shady567]

Tacey - I'm a little leery of sending him out there on his own but I totally agree it needs to be done sooner than later! I've been looking into preschools and we've found one where the parent stays with the child to get him accustomed, and then eventually when the child is able to cope on his own, the parent leaves. Unfortunately though most places won't accept anyone under 3. So we're waiting for him to turn 3 and I'm hoping that Arad will mature somewhat by then.

Also, thanks for checking in on Arad. He is doing better. He's had a runny nose for seven months so we're seeing an allergist next week to rule things out.

With respect to gross motor skills, Arad has always been behind. I think partly due to his torticollis his neck muscles weren't sufficiently strong for him to develop full head control until he was well into the 5th month of life. And even though the doctors won't contradict or confirm, I've always attributed his gross motor delays to "poor neck strength".

When he was younger, I deemed he was being vigilant when he wouldn't walk up a flight of stairs or when he hated the swing or when he wouldn't climb onto anything in sight, despite being super active. Now, not so much. I think now he won't do something due to sheer laziness or lack of motivation

For instance, he is perfectly capable of walking down the stairs, but he chooses to slide down. It's like the kid has boundless energy but won't put it to good use! He will play really well at the playground or if it involves a slide or trampoline, but everything else we've introduced to him so far (other than swimming) has been met with fear/anxiousness/dislike and I can go on and on

Today, we practiced catching a ball. He now cooperates enough to extend his arms out, (before he would just wander off) however, he still can't catch a ball. He is really good at kicking though. On a similar note, what has your experience been with getting your los to ride a tricycle? We can't get Arad to pedal a trike. Any info on this would be much appreciated!

Daisybee - When we undress, Arad gets all anxious thinking his head will get caught in the shirt. What works for us is giving him some control, first we take the sleeves out and then we let him pull it off.

Ok enough ranting on my part ... for today.

 

[Tacey]

Alice will hold my hand if we're walking by a main road, but otherwise won't. She'll cuddle me if she's sad or angry. If she's happy though, and I put my arm round her, she'll wriggle away. If I ask her, she'll flat out say no, or sometimes "you can cuddle me next Tuesday" or "when I'm four." She's the same with everyone, so at least it's not personal!

I'm glad Clara's a bit more settled now. Those teeth do grumble on, I I am checking Arthur daily as I can't believe one still hasn't popped out after so much fuss!

Shady, as for catching, I think it's quite an advanced thing. It's great he's putting his arms out! It's very hit and miss (literally!) if Alice will catch or not! We started throwing and catching a silk cloth first, as it drops slowly, and is easier to grab. Our trike experience may not be typical. She would sit on all sorts of things with pedals, but have no clue what to do. One day, we went for a play session at a children's centre and she got on a trike and gradually pedalled it - backwards. Then worked out how to go forwards, then how to steer. She stayed on for the entire session! By the end she'd cracked it. She was just over three. She's a very 'all or nothing' child though. She'll sit back until she knows she can do it.

 

[polaris]

Thomas can't pedal a tricycle yet and he can't really catch a ball. He's not too great at throwing either. Up until recently he didn't really run, but he has just recently started running more. He's great on his balance bike though and he can swim half a width of the pool independently without swim aids.

 

[DaisyBee]

Shady - Megan used to pull her shirt herself over her head and we would just assist. But with her panicking more she gets so flustered. But I've been having great luck with distraction and silliness with it!! I'm really hoping that continues! And for now I'm staying away from shirts with the tight arms.

Megan can catch a ball if she is concentrating on it, and it's thrown well but she does best if they are bigger balls. She has been practicing forever with it, she has always loved balls.

She doesn't have a trike... She has a dora trike that is really more of a hot wheels thing. It has 3 levels for where you can put the seat for different heights of kids. But Megan was still too short to reach the pedals this past fall. ( she is over 38")We had debated on finding something else for her, but really unsure what was the best thing to get her. With the snow this winter we don't have an area she can use any sort of bike or trike. It would just get ruined with the salt anyway. We don't have sidewalks, so she would be in the culdesac or just around in a circle in our driveway. That seems better for spring.

Megan hasn't had much swimming experience. There is no indoor pool in our town. Before jordan was born we were doing weekends away in the city... Hotel with pool, zoo, aquarium, shopping, etc. Megan loved being in the water, but never got her face in. She was gradually getting to the point of putting her mouth in to blow bubbles a bit, and she would tilt her head back to get the back of her head wet. I wonder if some of it is cultural differences? Even the larger town that has an indoor pool, they don't offer baby swim classes, they offer ones for megans age that the parent gets in the water with them. It might be something to try once I figure out a babysitter. ( which reminds me I was going to be doing ) I taught swimming lessons in high school, and the kids in the earliest class were 5ish.

Tacey - I wonder if there would be any games or ways of showing affection that she would be comfortable with? Megan is actually opposite in a way, she shows most affection when happy. And when she is upset she wants to push us away. She has sometimes rejected dh's affection and we realized some of it is his facial hair. And he would rush in for a kiss and catch her off guard. She prefers to know that she is going to be kissed or asked for a hug vs just doing it... And she likes to kiss daddy vs him kissing her as it's scratchy. Dh felt very rejected before when she would just say no and push him away, so I can imagine that it's hard not to take it personally when Alice says no.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Hi all, sorry I have been MIA. Work is crazy lately, as classes just began at the university I work at and I was asked to teach a class the day before classes began! I enjoy teaching and it's a good opportunity, but stressful as I obviously haven't had time to prepare as much as I'd like.

Christina can't pedal her trike either, but I think it's because she can't reach the pedals when they are furthest away from her. Even though she can reach them when they are closest to her, she won't even try, saying "I can't reach". She also generally won't attempt something until she's pretty confident she'll be able to do it right to start with. She loves to sit on it and push herself around using her feet on the ground though.

She was behind in gross motor as a baby, crawling at 9 months and walking at 17 months, not jumping with 2 feet off the ground until after 2. I think she's caught back up now though because she climbs like a pro, kicks, and can stand on one foot. She can catch pretty well depending what type of ball it is, but we've been playing catch from very young. I have a video somewhere of her throwing/rolling a soft ball back and forth with me when she was only about 7/8 months old. Christina doesn't have swimming experience either - she's only been in a pool a handful of times in her entire life and those few times didn't want us to let her go, even with her floaties on. I was thinking I should look for some swim lessons for her, as she hates having her face washed in the bath, but I haven't looked yet.

Christina had a rough bedtime last night because I wasn't home so DH tried to put her to bed. Of course she was resistant and he got frustrated. She was refusing to put PJs on, so he ended up leaving her in her room without her clothes on - normally she hates to be left in her room alone, but he didn't realize she had toys in there, and he left her light on, so she didn't mind being left and just started playing with her toys. Once he realized she had toys in there, he went back to take the toys away and she had a huge tantrum. I didn't agree with that approach because he was trying to punish her for being defiant (by taking away her toys), but rather than doing so right away, it was after some time had passed. So from her perspective she doesn't understand why he's taking the toys. He says he didn't know she had toys in there or her would have taken them to begin with. Anyway, she ended up having a meltdown for about an hour, and he just can't settle her well, so even though he was going back every few minutes to check if she wanted to be picked up or if she was ready to get dressed, she was just slamming the door shut. Eventually she fell asleep naked on her floor for a short time (with the lights on) and then when she woke up I was home so I got her dressed and in bed properly. I felt so bad for her, but also bad for DH because he thought he was doing the right things but he's so rarely home at bedtime that he doesn't really know what works (he's a basketball coach and we are in the midst of the season so he has practice/games every evening). He has been very adamant today that we start having him put her to bed more often so as to prevent this in the future. We had fallen into a pattern of me putting her down every night in order to prevent a tantrum, but I agree that a tantrum while I am just downstairs and could intervene if necessary is better than another evening like that.

 

[polaris]

We had another day with no nap today. I think Thomas might actually be ready to drop the nap now. It feels different to last time, he seems to be coping much better and he slept really well last night, asleep before 7.30 and didn't wake up until about 8.15 this morning. We did have tears at bedtime tonight but it was our own fault really because dinner was a bit late and we didn't get him to bed early enough. But right up until about 6.30 p.m. he was in great form and I think if we had got him into bed by 7 he would actually have been fine. As it was he had a 15 minute episode of refusing to put pyjamas on but was asleep within minutes of finally getting into bed at 7.30. So he is going to sleep two hours earlier than the earliest that he has been falling asleep recently.

 

[shady567]

It's been comforting to learn that perhaps Arad isn't so behind when it comes to learning to ride a tricycle. Thanks everyone for the input.

Arad isn't too affectionate either. When he is happy, he does the same as Alice, wiggles away. It seems though when he offers a hug or kiss he does it in a more unconventional way (lol... for lack of a better term), like he won't just hug or kiss us for the pleasure of it. He will say he misses his daddy and will reach him for a cuddle or he will come sit on my lap, or when he is hurt he will immediately want our attention, but other than that he will rarely kiss or hug us.

He too finds his daddy scratchy, although Daddy means everything to him. And not only that, when his aunt wants a peck from him, he will turn his face out so his lips aren't touching her cheeks. Basically he kisses the air Again, this is probably a sensory thing, after all he is a clean freak On the other hand, he has no problems returning the pecks I give him, so I've been fortunate. He does not like big bear hugs either .. it seems.

Today we were sort of forced to try the 'no nap' thing. We were out and about all day, at the doctors mostly. He has fluid backed up in his ears. So we will see how the night goes!

 

[Jchihuahua]

Tacey: Wow, Alice weaning is a huge step! How is it going and how are you feeling about it? I cried when Daisy self weaned and I found it much more difficult than she obviously did.

Cutie: Sorry to hear that bedtime was rough last night. I hope tonight has gone more smoothly.

Polaris: It sounds like Thomas is coping really well without his nap. I wish Daisy would drop hers but she is very grumpy without it. How is Clara with her teeth? Have any cut through yet?


Daisy can pedal a bike but not brilliantly. She can catch a ball and is quite good at that. Her dad plays that with her quite a lot. She can't climb though. She is nervous and won't take any risks when it comes to climbing. She has always been behind with her motor skills. She walked at 17.5 months, couldn't run until over 2 and is still not very fast and couldn't jump properly until over 2. I would like her to go to swimming lessons but she hates her hair getting wet and I know she'd completely freak out.

I am still so concerned about her behaviour. We have had new children at the nursery attached to my school and as I am the co-ordinator for the Early Years at school I attended the Open Day too. The children were all Daisy's age pretty much. They were 3 between September and the end of December last year. There were 21 children and they attended for an hour with their parents. Daisy is advanced in terms of speech and her learning (numbers, phonics, shapes, etc) but these children were so well behaved compared to her. They played beautifully with each other, responded well to their parents and to the staff giving direction, explored the nursery happily and confidently, almost all were fully toilet trained and most could put on their own coats and zip them up. One girl was putting on all the dressing up clothes and fastening buttons etc independently. If Daisy had been there I can just predict there would have been meltdowns and she wouldn't have been able to use the toilet and there's no way she could do her own coat or wellies. I just know she wouldn't have coped like these children coped.

Hubby took her to toddler group today and she refused to sit down for the singing and ran around being silly and downright defiant then had a huge meltdown when it was time to leave. Her behaviour can be so unpredictable and it feels like everything is a battle and if it doesn't turn into a battle then it has the potential to do so and we are on egg shells around her.

As I expected she is very cross that I went back to work on Monday and has been saying 'Go away mummy back to work' and pushing me away lots.

I am scared about her starting nursery as no one but us ever looks after her as we have no friends or family locally. I am interested to see what her behaviour is like though. I am going to ask her key-worker to let me know honestly what they think, not in teacher-speak which can gloss over things, but an honest appraisal of how she behaves at nursery. I hope she likes it there. I am going to be a nervous wreck on her first day without us.

 

[polaris]

JC I worry a lot about how Thomas will get on in pre-school, although more from the point of view of how he will get on with the other children as I expect that he will be very polite and well-behaved. Hopefully Daisy will adjust quickly to it and maybe her behaviour will be better than you expect.

In relation to self-care, Thomas is really not great either. He is fully toilet trained for over a year but he still insists on help with getting his trousers up and down - although he can do it himself he prefers not to. He can't dress himself. He can just about undress himself but still struggles with tops that pull over the head and usually insists on help. He wouldn't be able to put his coat on although he can take it off if the zip doesn't get stuck. He can take shoes off but can't put them on. If his shoes are wet he won't take them off himself. He can put socks and slippers on. He wouldn't know where to start with buttons or poppers, he can pull up a zip but only if it's already started. He is not very good at using cutlery and almost always eats with his hands. He refuses most foods that can't be eaten without getting your hands dirty e.g. sauces.

When I write it all down like that, it sounds so negative.

 

[OmarsMum]

Tacey , weaning off the breast sounds like a big emotional step

Omar asks for cuddles when he's distressed or tired. He doesn't ask for cuddles from anyone other than me, he refuses to give kisses to his dad. He will not even lie down on bed next to his dad, he's the same with holding hands, he will hold hands when there are cars, but when we are at the mall or in the park he says "there are no cars, I will not hold hands".

During the day, if he asks me to do something, I ask him to give me a cuddle & a kiss 1st he wasn't cuddly before he turned 2 yrs, it was the only way I was able to get some cuddles, so now he's used to it, & he cuddles me automatically as soon as I ask. He doesn't give kisses, when I ask him for a kiss, he gives me his cheek or forehead to kiss him, he doesn't like kisses on the lips


Omar doesn't get scared easily, but he's cautious, but those days he's not as cautious as before, I think he's more incontrol with his gross motor skills, this is why he seems fearless those days when he climbs on furniture, or when he place his chair on the sofa, then tries to climb up!

Shady- Omar can't paddle a trike, but he can paddle his bike with stabilisers for two or 3 steps forward then he starts to paddle backward. his gross motor skills were a bit delayed, he started recently to climb the stairs without holding the rails or holding hands. He's getting better with running, he can kick a ball, he throws a ball but not properly & he can't catch a ball. As he's much more active now, he's getting much better at climbing especially at the climbing frames in the park, he used to climb with cautious, but now he goes up so fast without turning back to see if we're around. But he jumped very early, he was 20 months when he was able to jump off the floor, & at 2 years he started to jump up high while opening & closing his legs on the trampoline, then Throwing himself & sitting on his bum while jumping (I can't do that )

He hates it when his head gets stuck while dressing/ undressing, he gets distressed. He tries to take his shirt off, but he panics as soon as he tries to pull it off his head.

 

[OmarsMum]

Cutie so sorry you had a rough night

Polaris- sounds like Thomas is doing great without a nap, Omar is fine without a nap, even if we spend all day out, but he can't handle going into the car for longer than 15 mins without taking a nap, it doesn't matter when we go out, he can't handle the stimulation in the car, so he asks for his sunglasses, he closes his eyes, then he takes a nap.

JC- I'm also worried about pre-school I don't know how he's going to stay there without someone he knows there, I'm dreading it. At night he wake sup several times to make sure I'm still sleeping next to him, he suffers from separation anxiety. As for activities, Omar is the only, kid I see who doesn't seem so occupied or interested in activities. I was thinking about it today, we have a playroom at home, he has everything, we do loads of arts & crafts at home, we have a trampoline, & all sorts of toys. I think as we do a lot at home, he doesn't really get excited about activities in groups or classes.

He also thinks group activities are baby-ish this is why I'm so scared when it comes to school, he already knows a lot, I think he will get bored, or he will shut himself out in class

At the toddler classes he refuses to talk, he points instead when the class is not so interesting (arts & sensory classes those days )

We still have sleep issues, I have no idea why I'm trying to give him a good meal for dinner, he doesn't seem overwhelmed or overtired before he goes to bed, but at night he's always restless, he moves a lot, he cries why sleeping, & he calls me several times. I'm exhausted! Last night, he was whining while sleeping, I ended up screaming & talking to myself

No proper self care here, but he's trying & asking to do things on his own, he started to wear his shoes on his own, he takes off his jacket, he asks to pull up his jacket zipper, he straps himself in his stroller, & he tries to do the strap of his carseat, he can unstrap it when stop. As for using the toilet, those days he's asking to use it without his seat, & he brings his stool to climb up while holding me, the he sits on the toilet, he still can't pull his trousers up or down. He doesn't have enough balance.

 

[karlilay]

Hello everyone!

How did i not see this group before

Am i allowed in??

 

[cutie4evr01]

Hi Karlilay - of course you can come in - welcome! Which of your children is sensitive? Would you like to tell us about her/him?

Omarsmum sorry you are still dealing with sleep issues - I'm sure that is exhausting.

Tacey I'm sure it's a rollercoaster of emotions with Alice weaning. Fabulous job BFing for so long! I was so sad when Christina weaned, but it didn't hit me as hard with Caitlyn - even though she was only 14 months, it just felt right. And she still drinks BM from the freezer, so even though my part is done, she's still getting milk so it doesn't feel quite like the whole experience is over yet.

JC I hope that Daisy does well at nursery - as we've said before, children often behave differently for other adults than they do for their parents. I'm impressed at the children at your school playing nicely together and also putting on their coats and zipping them up themselves! When Christina is around other kids her age, they often look at each other like they'd like to play together, but neither speaks and they end up just playing on their own. It's not just Christina either - I've been working in the nursery at my church for years and none of the just-3-yr-old kids in there were really playing together yet. Christina can get her coat off herself, but she can't get it on and she certainly couldn't get the zipper started! I thought she was a little advanced with her dressing/undressing capabilities (I can lay her clothes out and she dresses herself while I get Caitlyn dressed), but now I'm thinking probably not if those kids can zip up their coats. I'm sure it's very hard for you to try not to compare since you work with kids her age, but really they do all do things at their own pace, so try not to worry too much (easier said than done, I know).

Polaris, sounds like Thomas may be ready to drop the nap this time, which is terrific. In our experience, there is always a weird transition period when they are dropping a nap (drop from 3 to 2, 2 to 1, etc.) where some days they can handle it and other days not, which sounds like what you were dealing with before. Maybe now his body and brain are finally ready to let it go for good.

 

[OmarsMum]

Hi karlilay welcome to the group Hun

How's Madi doing in pre-school?

 

[DaisyBee]

Cutie - sorry your dh had such a rough night the other night. I do see in his perspective, that it seemed like the right thing to do. I think it's harder for the parent who isn't around as much to know how to handle every situation. I've found that dh isn't always quite sure on some things, and yet I've realized that I need to step back more and let him figure things out himself. I think it's good for Megan to have to get used to things I different ways as well. Vs being stuck in doing things only one way. And I agree that your dh should now be putting her to bed, and doing other things as well.. Even if she is wanting mom. I can see where it's been easier for you to do things when she prefers you...and with dh being gone so much as well it kind of just gets into a routine.

Jc - I bet daisy will surprise you with school. and Omar too.. Really all of our kids! The more I'm hearing things in this group... It's really got me thinking and trying to think back with daycare kids. I'm going to stop walking on eggshells so much with Megan and see what happens. I'm going to start pushing her a bit more with things... And see how she responds. Just enough for her to grow and just a bit out of her comfort zone. But I'm going to be lighthearted about it, and try to be more silly.
She's been responding really well to the silliness. Getting her dressed has been going really well!! And last night I bribed her to get her hair wet. I was going to do a sticker chart, but dh came in and upped the bribe to if she would let me wash her hair last night she could get a really awesome amazing sucker. Well it worked! not the approach I thought I would do, but I'm glad we did it. And we are going to continue with the idea of sticker charts and see how it works. She is such a negative intense child that really the idea of getting something fun might just be what she needs. The hair washing didn't happen without some tears, she got a bit of water running down her ears that she didn't like but overall it went well.

Her self help things... She will brush her teeth by herself if I turn the water on for her ( she can't reach). She gets her toothbrush, toothpaste, unscrews it, puts a dot on the brush, brushes, and spits, rinses. She washes her hands herself if I turn the water on, but does best if I remind her to rub more. She puts the soap on her hands, dries them. For going potty she turns on the bathroom light, pulls down her clothes, gets on the toilet without a step, pees, gets toilet paper, wipes in front, gets down, pulls clothes up. And then refuses to wash hands... Every single time! Although any other time of day she begs to wash hands. Lol it makes no sense. If she poops she likes me to come with her and sit on the tub and "sleep" so I shut my eyes but there for moral support. Haha I then wipe her with a wet wipe if she poops. ( she has such sensitive skin ) She can put on and take off underwear and pants ( trousers?) but sometimes refuses to try, but she CAN do it, just doesn't always want to. She can put on certain socks, if they don't have much elastic but is a pro at taking them off. Lol she can't put shirt on or off by herself. ( unless a zippered sweater or sweatshirt she can upzip and take off ) She unzips and takes off her coat, sleep sack. She zips only if I start. At jordans appt at the dr before Xmas the dr asked Megan if she could zip up her coat if the dr started it.. So i don't think they expect them to be able to start zippers at this age. She can put shoes on and off. Hats and mittens on and off. She gets into the minivan herself, into her carseat, clicks the buckle at her chest and leaves the bottom ones for me. She climbs into her tall bed by herself, and climbs over the tall bed rail thing. Refuses help for that. If she isn't doing something it's more about not having the patience to keep trying, she gets frustrated if things aren't going well or if she can't get it easily.

Jordan is behind gross motor wise. She isn't crawling yet. She just last night started really hands and knees rocking. Today at nap she wasn't sleeping, just rocking on hands and knees. And she is 9 1/2 months. Megan army crawled at 9 mo 1 week, hands and knees crawl at 10 1/2 mo. Jordan is very similar to Megan in some ways... Jordan has words already in context. She is saying mama, daddy, hi, bye, bye-bye, bottle, all done. Clear as day and in context. She is awesome at clapping and waving. Megan had words before army crawling as well.

I am working on getting daycare things ready, I'm thinking of trying to start this spring. Also started reading a new book... Will post about it later, so far it seems great.

Welcome karlilay!