Sensitive kids group

[polaris]

The restaurant that we usually go to is Japanese and doesn't have a kids menu but there is loads of space and it's very child friendly. Thomas always gets prawn tempura (side dish) for himself and then shares our orders too, he likes lots of the vegetables like beansprouts and mange-tous peas, he likes rice, he likes beef teriyaki, he likes tofu, there are really lots of nice things on the menu that he enjoys. We have been bringing him there and sharing our meals with him since he first started eating solids at six months. Mainly because it is very convenient, it is easy to get to and there's plenty of room for prams/buggies/etc, and it opens early whereas most restaurants here don't open for dinner until 6 p.m. which would have been way too late for him when he was younger. And also the food is great and it's quite reasonable. It's almost the only place that we go to eat out now.

Today has been much better. Thomas is much better and so am I. OH took Thomas out for the afternoon while Clara was sleeping so I got a good rest. Clara still has a very snuffly nose but she seems much better too. She took good naps today and went to sleep without feeding to sleep at bedtime. So I'm hopeful for a better night tonight! Fingers crossed. I know it's off topic for this thread but honestly, lack of sleep just has such an impact on my ability to be the type of parent that I want to be!

 

[polaris]

Omarsmum, some great tips regarding food and eating there. Thomas does eat rice and he also loves naan bread but he won't eat it mixed with other food, he does eat stew but I have to take it out of the liquid. He likes all the ingredients to be separate from each other so I need to put each vegetable/meat separately on the plate so he can see what they all are, otherwise he won't eat it. But he's not really fussy about it, I know some children won't tolerate having different foods touching each other at all and he's not that bad.

Daisybee, I totally agree with what Omarsmum said about children picking up on our stress levels about eating. I have to constantly battle with myself over this with Thomas because he eats much worse when I am stressing about it. I know this because he always eats better when OH is there at dinner when I am usually more relaxed, whereas when it's just me and him the atmosphere is more tense and he eats much less. It's easier said than done though.

 

[OmarsMum]

Polaris- Omar is exactly the same, he's fine with his food touching in his plate, but he will not eat it mixed, I remove the liquid from his stew, he eats the meat separately, but he's fine with minced meat mixed with his rice or stew, he doesn't eat pasta as everything is mixed together,

 

[polaris]

Polaris- Omar is exactly the same, he's fine with his food touching in his plate, but he will not eat it mixed, I remove the liquid from his stew, he eats the meat separately, but he's fine with minced meat mixed with his rice or stew, he doesn't eat pasta as everything is mixed together,

I wish Thomas would eat minced meat, he really doesn't like it at all, although he will eat it if it's made into meatballs or burgers. He isn't really keen on pasta but he does like the filled pasta (tortellini) but without sauce and with vegetables on the side.

 

[DaisyBee]

I am trying to be relaxed, but it goes in spurts. I do ok and not stress, and then by the next day I worry and I'm sure she notices. She notices everything, so I'm sure she knows exactly what's going on.

Thank you so much for your advice what I'm doing now is offering her some normal and something I know she will eat ( so basically yogurt). I've stopped with the junk food offering and just offering her what we are eating. She isn't loving the pediasure, yesterday didn't have any, today she had 1/3 of a bottle for pm snack. Lunch she had some jello, yogurt, milk, and a bite of butterscotch pudding after she was done with her plate. Offered her hotdogs with ketchup, cottage cheese, applesauce and she didn't touch them. I didn't say anthing about them, just put it in front of her. She said that the pudding "it stings". I've never asked her or said anything about something stinging. Hmmm?

My parents changed their minds about the weather and showed up, babysitting the girls tonight. Maybe Megan will eat for them. Lol she is very excited. Dh and I are going out with mil And fil then maybe a movie just with dh.
I'll write more later.

 

[Siyren]

just a quick update from us here- (not had chance to read but will try and read and come back later)

lyssa's eating has improved this week, as as her sleep (think the two are definitely linked for her- if she doesnt sleep well, she refuses to eat)

today for lunch she had a sandwich followed by carrots and cucumber with hummus, and she ate a good 70% of it- which is much more than she usually eats!


im back to uni tomorrow. which is bound to unsettle her.
hope everyone else is good x

 

[DaisyBee]

So I'm grumpy and just venting. The whole thread about the humping pissed me off and my day has not improved. The dr really annoyed me. Dh is wondering where we will be able to find another pediatrician thats better but not more expensive as we have 2500 deductible to reach before insurance will cover a penny. Im wondering maybe a gp might be better, not so rushed?

Something hit me with omarsmums post about when Omar is sick. Well it makes sense to not eat when you are sick, but Megan hasn't been sick. She has a bit of coughing but not enough to call it being sick and really refux makes more sense. She has had no fever, runny nose, nothing. So really something has to be going on. It's not normal just to competly refuse all solids. I can see rejecting lots of foods or being picky about veggies or meat or whatever, but not everything?

I had the nurse take my temp to show megan how it's done hoping she would consent and I have a fever of 101.4 I didn't realize before then. She took it 2 other times for me. I still feel like I have it but not sure why? No other symptoms.

The dr also made me feel like crap about the fact that Jordan is only just army crawling and no pulling up to stand or getting from floor to sitting yet. But then she said " we will give her a pass because Megan was late at those things too". I said yes I guess my girls just like early talking instead. And she looked surprised and said oh they both are more into that?! Haha right then I realized how little she knows my kids.

My dad is jaundice and he looked horrible this weekend. Dh and I did have fun sat night. We went to a movie. My parents fed the girls and put them to bed... Megan hadn't napped and Jordan had woken early from nap so both were sound asleep early.

 

[Jchihuahua]

That doctor just sounds awful. I saw some awful medical practitioners when I was struggling with Tommy's health and it took me over 20 appointments and breaking down in tears in the surgery before they'd help us and refer us to a hospital. Keep persevering and pushing for them to listen to you as sometimes it seems like that is the only way. I feel sad for Megan that she had such a horrid experience. How is she now? When Daisy has a horrid experience she won't stop talking about it. Is Megan the same?

Don't let that thread get you down hun. .

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, that paediatrician sounds very annoying. I don't get the emphasis on milestones anyway, they are much more relaxed about things like that over here unless there's really a cause for concern. Like if she wasn't making any attempt to get mobile at 10 months, I guess that would be flagged. I raised concerns about Thomas's speech when he was 19 months because he only really had three words and they really put my mind at ease and just said "look we'll assess him at two if you are still concerned at that stage". And sure enough by two he had plenty of words.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow, sounds like you might be coming down with something if your temperature is up.

 

[DaisyBee]

The appt and struggling exhausted her. Afterwards she looked and acted like she needed sleep, but then had a hard time settling down.

She was very upset at the dr and refused to talk to her and then while crying went and sat down on the floor on the other side of the table by herself. I let her be as it seemed better to let her have distance away from the dr even though I was wanting to just hold her. I'm not sure if that was the right decision or not? After a while she came up to me and I asked her if she wanted a hug. I wanted her to have a say so...and the dr said yes I'm sure a hug would be good. Well duh, I just thought it would be good to ask her before hugging her? As really she had no choice in being held down against her will. I'm really struggling with that. Im trying to get her help. But when do you make your child do something they don't want to do.. And when do you draw the line and say, she says no... She has the right to say no? Does that make sense?

I'm not sure how to talk about what happened? During it I was telling her she was safe, that I was right there,,, I was right in front of her face. I told her the dr was her friend and just needed to make sure her ears were ok.

 

[TennisGal]

I fully agree about the milestones - everyone is so relaxed about them over here, I honestly wouldn't pay much heed to those comments.

I really hope the omeprazole helps - I didn't believe it did with ally, thought it was all me cutting out dairy. Until I saw her reaction. And realised it made a big difference. My gran also has it, and she says it's a saviour.

Don't pay any attention to that other thread about humping

Our new thing today with Lizzie is her fear of dogs is now transferring to cats and birds. Which is very tricky. Other than that, she's been on good form!

 

[Jchihuahua]

A huge bit of progress here is Daisy used the toilet at pre-school!!

 

[TennisGal]

^^ fab work from Daisy!

Lizzie tells me the toilet at preschool is 'ok' but the seat is 'simply not as good as mine - but that's because boys don't like princess seats all the time'

 

[polaris]

JC - yay that's brilliant that Daisy used the preschool toilet! LOL at Lizzie's comments on preschool toilets, TG.

Daisybee, I am really upset for you about the appointment today. I think it is an interesting point you make about where to draw the line with making your child do things they don't want to do. I think it depends on how important it is. Like if it's really a matter of life and death, you are going to make them do it no matter what. But after that it's more of a grey area isn't it? Like obviously you wanted them to be able to check her ears but that just wasn't a good way for it to have to happen. I know with Thomas he is much better if I know in advance what is happening, so I can go through it with him step by step. But then if they wanted to do something that I/he wasn't expecting and he really reacted badly, I don't know what I would do. It's not a good situation, my fear would be that that sort of negative experience can really stay with you and lead to dislike/phobia of going to the doctor. But then it depends on how important it is that it gets done. In an ideal world, I think you should be able to trust your doctor to make that judgment call but it's not always an ideal world.

Has she talked about it much since? I would probably ask Thomas about it and maybe say something like "it wasn't very nice at the doctors today was it?" and ask him how he felt about it.

 

[DaisyBee]

Yay daisy for potty at preschool! Thats a big step!!!!

Dh got home early and I had her tell daddy what we did today and what happened. Then I could hear how she was viewing it. She was very understanding that the dr needed to look in her ears, but that she didn't want her to. She seems much better about it than I thought she would. She is asking for medicine for her throat that we can't get until tomorrow since the dr has to call in the other prescription.

She got hiccups again this afternoon and got upset about them and then asked for milk, but then drank a bit of juice instead. She is also very gassy lately and I dont know if it's related to anything or not.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Yay for Daisy using the toilet! And LOL at Lizzie - Christina also says boys don't like princesses

Daisybee, I'm so sorry to hear about your appt - your doctor doesn't sound very invested at all. Surely she should know that both of your girls are early talkers by now. Try not to worry about the milestones (I know it's easier said than done), but it doesn't even sound like Jordan is that late to me. FWIW, both of mine were late to get moving also. So did she actually give you any advice about Megan's eating? Is she going to investigate anything or did she just brush it off? Had Megan lost weight since her 2-yr check?

I think you handled the appt very well in terms of reassuring Megan that you were there for her. It is a fine line between making them do things they don't want to and not forcing unnecessary things on them. I think in this case you did the right thing by making her have her temperature taken and ears checked, as you need to know if something is causing her refusal to eat. At Christina's checkup I had told her numerous times ahead of time that the doctor would look in her ears and mouth, measure her height and weight, listen to her heart on the front and back, etc., and each time she asked if I would hold her hand during that and of course I told her I would. Despite this, she still was on edge when we got there and resisted the doctor looking in her ears and mouth even though I was right beside her holding her hand. Thankfully the doctor looked quickly and then I could hold her right after, so she didn't have time to get too worked up. I used to love our pediatricians (it's a two-doctor practice) - when Christina was first born they had fewer patients and really took time with everyone. Lately they have way more patients, always run late, and always are very rushed and don't remember the things we told them last time we were there, so we are considering a change too. I hope your fever goes away soon!

 

[cutie4evr01]

Daisybee, I just saw your other post over in toddler section, so please don't feel you hav to type it all out here again. I am so disappointed in your doctor! I hope the medication makes Megan feel better so she can start eating again. I can't imagine what she's going through, being hungry but not able to eat. And I'm really upset that your doctor suggests you should just force her to do certain things - it's sounds like your doctor doesn't understand sensitivity at all. Many for you all.

 

[DaisyBee]

With the dr - I was really hoping for some advice with the fears and with the eating. Any hints at all or ideas of things I could try. Her advice for insomnia was to try to make it darker and less distractions. Haha!!!!!!!!! That is all she said, no questions about what I do or how often is it happening, anything. and for the eating, just put food in front of her and she will eventually eat.

I really feel like she was brushing me off and that's not ok. I'm going to look in her baby book at last years records to see her weight. The weight she told me today for her at 2 doesn't seem quite right. I knew she was still above what she was at 2, but she is 2 1/2 inches taller. Im going to weigh her tomorrow here at home and see if the scales seem off or if she really has gained weight back.

Megan tends to protest a lot of things. When younger it was brushing teeth, but we couldn't not brush her teeth. So I would end up trying to make it as fun as possible, and distract but if it didn't work I would sometimes need to make her do it. So do I gauge things on her reaction... If she is upset but not scared it's ok to make her do something, but if she acts scared then its not? But she is scared of most everything lately it seems. And yes, I'm worried about phobias and major issues if she is pushed too much. Especially with her temperament, I don't think she will forget things easily.

 

[Tacey]

Siyren, how has Lyssa been about you going back to uni? Hopefully not too unsettled.

Omarsmum, great that Omar managed well with your family. I hope you got what you needed!

Daisybee, just echoing the others in saying that both the doctor and that daft humping post aren't worth listening to. You're a lovely mum, and nobody could care for Megan and Jordan half as well as you. I do hope things start getting easier for you all soon. Megan's recounting of the story sounds so mature. I'm sure the way you're raising her has helped her express her feelings so well.

Eek Tennisgal! Fear of cats and birds is quite awkward. How does she show her fear? Any chance you could do some gentle exposure with a friendly cat? Alice is scared of dogs, but it seems to be improving a bit now.

JC- Yay Daisy! That's great news! Has she continued using the loo at prechool?

Not much news from me, as Alice has been staying with my parents. I've had two blissful unbroken nights sleep, and one more to go. The last time she stayed with them was before I had CBT and I cried when she came back, as I didn't think I could manage. I didn't even want to see her. This time, I've missed her so much, and I can't wait to have her back. It's shown me how far I've come in only a few months.

Ooh, and a question for you all. I think Alice will be having her jabs soon (I think they're meant to happen at 3 yrs 4 months, and she's 3 and 5 months now.) Any tips for dealing with it? We got a doctor's set for Christmas, but she's scared of it I'm concerned that while I could probably keep her still for 1 jab, she might not be easy to handle for 2. I'm wondering about doing them separately. I should probably not take Arthur too. Ugh. Dreading it!

 

[polaris]

Hi Tacey,
I'm afraid we resorted to rewards/bribes again in that situation (not jabs but blood tests which are even worse in my experience). OH brought him and they went into the shop beforehand and he chose a lollipop that he could have after the blood test was done as a special prize for being so brave. Apparently it worked a treat.