Sensitive kids group

[DaisyBee]

That is an idea I hadn't thought about Polaris with the pills. So she just came running to me with spitting up in her mouth and asking for water in a desperate tone. I gave her some and then thought that would be a good time to talk about the meds as I could talk about what had just happened and the medicine helping that. It didn't work. She held the pill, then got upset and said she didn't want it And that she wouldnt put it in her mouth. If it's something that would dissolve in milk then it wouldn't be an issue. Im going to add them to milk this morning again and see if after a while they would dissolve. On my post in toddler club blue mentioned apple juice in a syringe, getting it warm in your hand and shaking. I am going to try that as well, and then add it to a small cup of juice that she would willingly drink as syringe I'm sure she would just spit out.

I'd like everyone's input on if in your opinion I should offer her things like yogurt, pudding, and ice cream if that's all she is willing to eat? Or should I not offer any of those and see if she gets truly very very hungry that she would be willing to eat something else? Dh and I can't decide what we think we should do, it's so confusing. Maybe hearing what others think will help me decide what I'd like to do.

We tried last night again just offering her what others were eating. No yogurt, she did lick some cheese off cheetos that my dad was trying out to see if she would be wanting them. But everything else she didn't put in her mouth at all. She sat there forever and wasn't eating, and then was having a meltdown over something silly. I took her in her room and we sat together so she could calm down and I wanted to see if she would say something about food at that point. She just said she doesn't like food and doesn't want to eat. After we got back to the table I decided I wasn't going to have her go to bed hungry so gave her yogurt and pudding. She didn't have pm snack - just water.

 

[Tacey]

Daisybee, I think it's a hard decision, but my instinct would be to offer what she'll eat. It doesn't sound like normal fussiness to me. Because all the things she'll eat are linked (is pudding like a set milky dessert?), it sounds like they are the ones that cause her least discomfort.

Would she eat honey? How about a spoonful with the contents of the pill inside?

 

[cutie4evr01]

I'd be inclined to give her what she'll eat. It sounds like she's hungry and trying to eat, but some things she just can't tolerate. I'd be afraid about waiting to see "if she's hungry she'll eat" because what if she doesn't? Caitlyn lived on crackers and cheese for a short time, and eventually started eating a better variety, but I preferred that over not eating at all.

Christina didn't go to sleep until 9 last night (despite being in her bedroom with lights out by 7:15), and during that time I could hear her drinking water from her cup, so she woke up at 2:40am to go potty and didn't go back to sleep. She of course can't tell time, so she thought it was 5am which is when she normally gets up, and wanted to get dressed and come downstairs. She threw a massive tantrum when I told her she couldn't. Eventually I got her calmed down so she stayed in her room until about 5:30, but she didn't get back to sleep at all (nor did I). Of course Caitlyn woke during this time but she managed to go back to sleep once Christina was quiet. Needless to say, I'm exhausted! I put them down for naps early (Caitlyn at 11 and Christina at 11:30) - Caitlyn fell right to sleep but Christina is still playing in her room. She said all morning "I woke up early today, that's why me sleepy", so she knows that she's tired, but just struggling to actually get to sleep, probably because she's so overtired. I'm hoping she's able to have a good nap and decent bedtime tonight to try to get back on track.

 

[DaisyBee]

Cutie - that sounds so much like what Megan will do. Once awake in the night she has a very hard time going back to sleep. She was telling me this morning that she wanted to go back to sleep and was trying but she couldn't. hope tonight goes better for her!

Megan was saying she was hungry so I offered her food. She was drinking her milk and said that the milk hurt her throat. She didn't eat any "solid" type foods. She did eat the insides of a couple of grapes, yogurt, licking peanut butter and honey off spoons, and stuck her finger in her cottage cheese and licked the liquid off. She got a tiny piece of cottage cheese in her mouth and pulled it out of her mouth upset and drank milk right afterwards. THAT seems like a sensory thing?

I tried putting the medicine with honey and that didn't work at all, she spit it out. So it's not going to be able to have a texture for her to accept it.

I talked to my mom. She thinks because megans weight isn't going down that I should try not giving her any yogurt, pudding, etc for a few days and see if she does start to eat. Just have her go hungry. She says I am giving in by offering yogurt if she doesn't eat. Which yes I am, as to me it's very hard to hear mommy I'm hungry and not find something she is willing to eat. It's not like she is asking for cookies. If she would eat cookies but not chicken I would think she is being stubborn, but say no cookies and just eat yogurt to me seems different. She does think I should find a new dr ASAP. And get Megan in now vs waiting. She wondered about putting the pill in hot water and see if it would dissolve enough to add to something but I'm going to call the pharmacy again.

They have postponed my dads surgery and are doing another ct scan and more blood work, etc with a different dr. He has appts all day today then tomorrow morning again. He was so nervous about the surgery as had all week to think about it, and he gets there and they postpone.

 

[DaisyBee]

So after thinking about what some of you have said, and seeing the last posts in my thread in toddlers, I'm going to keep offering her an option I know she will eat. And thinking more on it, I don't agree with how my moms view on food anyway... So I should not listen to her. Lol realized I'm reluctant to call the dr to request some other idea for meds, and that is not a good sign if I feel hesitant to call her. I'm also not sure bringing Megan into a dr about this right now is a good idea. It might make things worse? She has had 2 bad experiences with the drs now ( well 3 if you include the fun of her shot) and I don't want to make things worse by creating more fear.

Her reaction to some things is improving a small bit, like able to lick peanut butter more often and attempt to eat the inside of grapes is a big step I think.

( and tacey - yes pudding is milk based dessert similar to custard I guess? Vanilla, butterscotch, tapioca, chocolate, etc. She is liking vanilla pudding.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, when we were seeing a dietician when Thomas was underweight, her advice was to give him whatever he would eat to get calories in it. Even if it was the "unhealthy" option. Keep offering a balanced diet too obviously but just try to encourage him to eat, especially foods that are high in calories/fats/etc. So I think you are spot on about following your instincts on this one.

 

[DaisyBee]

Thanks Polaris.... I think that the pediatrician is just so sure it's her being persistent and deciding she doesn't want to eat. But she didnt even hear what's going on with her. She is assuming things based off of her reaction to getting her ears checked. I didn't tell her anything about meatballs in her throat, or scraping food off of her tongue, trying to eat but then crying and saying she can't.

Even if it's behavioral it has to be a fear vs being defiant. Same as hair washing. And I'm not willing to do that against her will, so why would I starve her in order to basically "break her" as thats what it would be right?

 

[Bella_Bee]

Hello! Can we "join"?

My eldest is a HSP. She was a typical sears baby - high needs and although she went through a really laid back phase between about 9 and 18 months she's a sensitive child for sure.

Mostly she is fine, confident and happy but I think we've adapted so much that it was only when our youngest came along did we realise how sensitive she was and still is.

The hardest part so far has been her turning 3. Her being sensitive meant she was very nervous and uncertain as a toddler but since turning 3 she's become very strong willed, which I am definitely happy about, and this brings so many challenges with a HSP. It helps that OH and I are both HSPs ourselves but strong willed coupled with aggressive blame avoidance andthe usual late evening tiredness can mean absolute chaos and I've been struggling a bit lately.

Does anyone else find that having more than one child is both brilliant and terrible for your sensitive child? She adores her sister and they are so happy together but my eldest needs so much undisturbed one on one time that it can be pretty much impossible to strike a happy balance!

Anyway, not to moan. She's a wonderful, bright little spark and deeply empathic and I wouldn't change a thing about her. I definitely feel as though I am helping her and raising somebody special.

Nice to meet everyone!

 

[Bella_Bee]

Daisybee - I have been reading recently that children being hung up on one type of food can often indicate an intolerance. I don't know much about you guys at all so could be way off but you could try switching to dairy free alternatives, which should help any reflux issues too, and could have the added effect of increased interest in other foods.

 

[DaisyBee]

Hi bella bee. welcome!

Megan just went to bed and went down really well. Less than 5 minutes later she calls for me and I go in and she asked for a drink of water. ( she doesn't get out of bed without me saying ok ... Lol I've never told her she had to do that, but that's what she does so it works!) she said she had meatballs in her mouth! I asked her if she knew how we could get rid of the meatballs in her mouth, and she said drink more water. Lol I said no that would just rinse out her mouth, but to get rid of meatballs we have to take the new medicine. She said "the pills?" so she knew what I was talking about. Maybe us talking about it a bit more at a time will help her accept it a bit? We tried to get her to take the meds today in different ways. The dr suggested putting them in syrup and put it in a syringe. Well that didn't work, she could feel the little balls in her mouth. Then dh had the bright idea of grinding them up it was the nastiest tasting thing ever! So he put it with caramel syrup for ice cream and tried to have her eat it. I didn't taste it til after she freaked out and it made me want to spit immediately. Poor girl!

The dr suggested calling our insurance and explaining and seeing if they would then be willing to cover the 220 medicine. They won't, but I had to talk to many people round and round to find it out. Then talked to the pharmacist as insurance claims that you can get that med over the counter. But you cant, just the capsule form. The dr says it's a possibility that a pharmacist would be able to make a syrup for us with it... She would have to call them. I'm wondering if it would be having the little pieces in it or if it's crushed it's going to taste horrible no matter what they add to it.

Megan has been taking baths without jordan now and getting SO much better with it! She let me wet her hair with a cloth and then she was pouring water over her head and turning her head sideways and dipping her hair on the side in the water. She was also giving herself beards with bubbles by putting her whole mouth area in the water!! She has never done that before. Huge progress! I haven't attempted to use shampoo. A few more times so she is really comfortable before I'm going to even mention it. She says she likes baths without Jordan. Maybe she was getting too overstimulated and needs the down time without her? Kind of like what you were talking about Bella bee?

She has also totally changed her tune with changing clothes. She wasn't wanting to change clothes at all for a while, even before her being upset about her shirts getting stuck. She wanted to wear pjs a lot, and if we had regular clothes on she would want pjs on for nap and then want to stay in them the rest of the day. It was tough to get her to wear anything but pjs. She has started to not want to be wet at all, so if her sleeve or anything gets wet she wants to change. She didn't do that before. She finds clothes in her drawers and brings them to me and asks me to help her change her clothes. She even wore regular clothes at bedtime 2 different nights as she wanted to wear certain things she had picked out and didn't want pjs. Lol so we went from not wanting to change clothes ever to her asking to change clothes 6 times a day. Haha

I'm so hoping her eating does the same thing.

 

[DaisyBee]

That's an idea I hadn't considered... I have mentioned it offhand sometimes as she doesn't really like carbs and I had said maybe she has a wheat intollerance. It's not something I had put together with this... But maybe she does have an intolerance! Thank you Bella bee for that idea!

 

[polaris]

Actually the intolerance thing would make sense - often people have cravings for the foods that they are intolerant of, for some bizarre reason! Definitely worth thinking about.

 

[OmarsMum]

I'd also say some sort of intolerance. Hope you get it sort it out soon Hun, it's frustrating when you can't figure out what's wrong with them

 

[DaisyBee]

https://main.zerotothree.org/site/DocServer/29-3_Chatoorv.pdf

I've been googling and wondering if her issue is this... And now reflux is showing up because her lack of eating. It's mentions spitting out food, unwilling to then eat things similar to what they had aversions to. Before this not eating she was getting pickier, started spitting out different foods and it kept going downhill.

This suggests the opposite idea of what the dr suggested. Giving her the foods she will eat.

 

[DaisyBee]

https://main.zerotothree.org/site/DocServer/29-3_Chatoorv.pdf

I've been googling and wondering if her issue is this... And now reflux is showing up because her lack of eating. It's mentions spitting out food, unwilling to then eat things similar to what they had aversions to. Before this not eating she was getting pickier, started spitting out different foods and it kept going downhill.

This suggests the opposite idea of what the dr suggested. Giving her the foods she will eat.

 

[polaris]

Hi Daisybee, that does sound really spot-on for Megan. Really interesting and useful article. Interesting that the advice is the opposite of what the paediatrician recommended, you should mail him a copy!

Thomas is like that with some foods but to a much lesser extent. He is also often willing to work on trying "one bite" of a food if the aversion is not too strong.

 

[DaisyBee]

She ate!!! She seemed as shocked as I was. She goes "I ate!" with a funny look on her face. I read a different article that was saying it sometimes happen that kids who are picky anyway will choke or something happens and they then won't eat. It said offer foods, including something you know they will eat but if they won't eat what's at the table, don't offer them something different.

She must have been right on the edge of being willing to eat, as she had been not willing to eat fruit snacks and just taking a tiny bite but then spitting all of it out. Today she put it in, chewed and ate them. She ended up eating almost 2 packs. Lunch she had a raspberry and 1 bite of soup, yogurt, inside of grapes. But she was developing more confidence. This afternoon she found more fruit snacks but then also ate some of a breakfast bar. Yay!! And I've not seen any urping or hiccups yet today. I ended up giving her a bit of liquid antacid last night. I don't know if it helped a bit or just a total fluke. She also got in about 1/2 dose of the prescription as well.

Class isn't canceled for tonight as more signed up, yay she is very excited.

She even took off her shirt and put on a new one all by herself ( well 99% ). She was feeling very proud of herself.

 

[Tacey]

I'm SO glad to read this! Hopefully, she'll just continue to improve from here on. Hope the class goes well!

 

[OmarsMum]

Glad she ate hope you have a wonderful time at the class

We had a horrible night. Omar fell asleep in the car, I was with my mum, it was 10.15 pm so the time was great. He's been sleeping at 2 am+ every night as he started to take a nap again.

I met DH downstairs & he carried him up. In the elevator Omar woke up, his dad started to talk to him as he didn't see him all day, Omar got excited when he saw his dad, I asked DH not to talk to him, but he didn't listen. It was 11 pm.

When we reached bed Omar refused to go back to sleep & he started screaming, I asked DH to leave the room but he didn't listen & started to talk to Omar to soothe him, I screamed at both of them, DH screamed back, I kicked him out of the room & I locked the room. Omar screamed wanting his dad, I left him to CIO on bed, he wasn't ready to listen he was too tired & sleepy, when he was done we cuddled, we read a book, I played Quran on the IPhone & he went back to sleep. It was 12 am when he finally fell asleep. He cried for 20 mins, I'm not proud of leaving him to cry, but he didn't want me near him, he was exhausted & overtired.

Our day was great, as I mentioned earlier Omar can't handle the car trips, but reaching the class when he's sleeping wasn't working for us, we were missing half the class, as it affects his mood. I took the portable DVD with us & he watched Dora on our way to the class. He was fully awake & excited when we reached the class, he had fun & he was interacting & talking to everyone, he even said his name at the beginning of the class!

When we were done we went to my aunt's place as usual, I had his bike with us (the normal bike) his cousins have a bike each. He rode his bike there, he struggled with paddling but he was ok. But his cousin wanted to ride Omar's bike, Omar refused to share & asked him to use his own bike.

When we left we went to a coffee shop, Omar asked for a croissant, & I had a cheese cake, he asked for my fork & he ate few bites from mine he said it was tasty but he preferred his croissant.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, I'm so pleased to read that Megan ate something.

Omarsmum, sorry you had a rough evening. Sounds like a good day up until that point though, Omar sounds like he is doing so much better now in the classes. Thomas will always ask for a croissant in preference to cakes when we are out somewhere. It's great that he wanted to try yours though, especially cheese cake, it's a bit of an odd texture for them I think, Thomas won't entertain it at all!

Thomas is in very mixed form over the last few days and I'm not really sure why. I think he is probably still getting over his illness from last week. I'm still not very well and not getting much sleep and I am finding it very difficult to stay calm and patient with him at times.