Sensitive kids group

[sparkle_1979]

I can't imagine going through a mc and dealing with children. I really feel for you. I've had a few mc and know how hard it is

Ruby's doing ok, she's so shy when anyone talks to her, she just can't talk back. I don't get it because around is she's a little chatter box and full of cheek and mischief

I'm constantly worried that pre school and monitoring her and I'm waiting to be called in again like the old pre school did.

She's kind of fussy with children too, she does like children and with her sister she interacts great, but she's just not fussed, she's happy ŵith her sister, they're the best of friends x

 

[polaris]

Cattia, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thomas is the same with preferring to stick to his routine, once he has got it in his head that he will be doing something, he doesn't want to change it even if he would prefer to do the other thing! I also think we sometimes expect too much from them regarding empathy and so on, I know I am often guilty of expecting Thomas to be much more kind and thoughtful than he is currently capable of. I think proper empathy doesn't develop until maybe five or six.

 

[Cattia]

Thanks ladies. This week has really been awful for me. I've been so low, but I'm feeling a bit better now. When I'm down my anxiety is hard to handle. I've been worrying a lot about Abigail and her noises and George seems to have a load of sensory stuff going on too. Makes me doubt whether I could even cope with another child, but I really want one!
Sparkle, I know just what you mean, I'm afraid all the time about someone raising concerns about the kids. Ruby sounds like she's just shy though, and she obviously has a real bond with her sister which is a great strength for her.
Polaris, how's it going with you? How is work, and how is the sleep? Xx

 

[Jchihuahua]

Hi ladies,

I havent been on BnB at all really but I've been thinking about you Cattia .

 

[polaris]

Hi Cattia, thanks for asking how work etc is going. I am so stressed out at the moment with everything. Clara was sleeping slightly better for about a week, I stopped feeding her in the evenings and she would occasionally sleep from 8 to 12 or 1, which is absolutely fantastic for her. But now she is sick again and back to waking every hour. I'm just so tired. Work is very stressful, OH is working totally opposite shifts to me so we barely see each other, the housework is overwhelming. I can't believe that I thought going back to work might be a bit of a break. I am literally in tears at some stage most days at the moment. Trying to get a babysitter so that we can get time out occasionally, but it's really dependent on Clara sleeping a little bit better.

 

[DaisyBee]

Cattia - I am so sorry for your loss.

Polaris - oh, it sounds so stressful. I can't believe claras sleep is so bad! I can't figure out how you even manage it - especially while working! I'm here whenever you have time to vent!

Jc - how scary with Daisy's kidney infection! Hope she is doing ok now! Jordan is much more physical than Megan and I worry more about her when she is around more kids. ATM she thinks hitting is funny, At megans dance older kids love playing with Jordan and Jordan loves it and wants to hit them. I'm not sure why... And at least she isn't doing it to be mean... But with her personality I see her being physical on purpose as she gets a bit older. Megans eczema has gotten worse again recently and I had almost forgotten about it. Sorry you are dealing with it.... It can be so horrible when they are babies!

We had a lovely trip. The weather was fantastic the whole time. Dh and I sat under a cabana and drank fruity drinks, read books and stared at the ocean. Then when we got bored we went in the pool, then went to eat lunch, and then take a nap... Only to do it all over again. It's exactly what we needed. I really started to miss the girls about 1/2 way into the trip and mil says that's about when they really started missing us bad.

They have been attached to my hip since we got home. Now they are both sick and dh and I are both now catching it... So upping the clinginess factor. Megan has been in our bed at least part of the night since we've gotten home. She had zero discipline from mil when we were gone and she now has been super bossy, refusing to listen to anything, and thinking she can do or say whatever she wants.

She made up a song that she sang to me one night that included "I love you more than mud and Popsicles, I love you more than dilly bars and stuff. I love you more than pink. I love you so much M..O..M She has been super creative as well this week, making up random stories and how she is playing, also drawing things and people, making cards for people and writing lots of letters, trying to spell words and sounding out words to figure out how to spell them. Jordan is talking a ton and her favorite new word is why? "where she is? Oh, why? Why? Where she go? Why?" lol she is labeling lots of things now... Barrettes, berries, fridge, soup, plate, bowl, etc more than she was before. And her whining and tantrums have kicked it up a notch.

 

[seaweed eater]

Ladies, sorry if this has been covered, but are any of your highly sensitive kiddos in OT? I'm trying to gauge the usefulness of seeking an SPD diagnosis (not that I know for sure that LO would meet criteria). Thank you

 

[sparkle_1979]

Having quite a bad day today. For mths I really got past the aspergers thing but today is one of them days I'm convinced she does have it, I just don't know what to do. My OH thinks im way out of line as my doctor said she was fine and it's part of my health anxiety.

My mum doesn't want to hear it, she told me that last time I was obsessing over this

Sorry just a bad day and don't know where else to go really xx

 

[seaweed eater]

I'm sorry Sparkle. It sounds like you don't feel like your doctor truly heard you last time? I hope you are able to talk to someone who can listen to your concerns.

 

[Cattia]

Hi ladies. Sparkle, I totally understand, I also have days like that too, some days I feel totally convinced my kids are fine, other days I really obsess over it. Because I also have health anxiety I can never tell whether my worries are legitimate or not. I don't really have any advice because I am the same, but I do understand how hard it is.

The routine thing is bugging me at the moment. Last week Abigail started new swimming lessons and loved it. Yesterday I told her she was going back and she freaked out because I had 'changed the day' by which she means added a new thing into the routine. The thing is, major changes in routine like holidays and celebrations don't bother her at all, and when it comes to actually doing the new thing she will be fine, it is just that she doesn't like things to not be the same as usual.

Polaris, the sleep sounds horrible I really feel for you, it sounds very stressful. Would it be worth speaking to your HV? I think I mentioned this before, but a friend of mine has awful sleep problems with her two children and she is being referred to the sleep clinic by her HV. One of the things she has to so is keep a sleep diary so that might help as well?

Daisy, it sounds as though you had a great trip! I hope it helped you to relax and feel a little less anxious as well. I bet it was amazing seeing the girls again when you got home too.

Seaweed, I have actually wondered about this, not for Abigail by for George. He seems to have a lot of sensory seeking behaviour, the worst of which is putting EVERYTHING in his mouth at almost three. However he is pretty well adjusted and his issues don't seem to impair him much so I'm not sure I will persue it at this stage. With Abigail it's really the noise thing that's a big problem, but I'm not sure she would qualify for an SPD diagnosis on the strength of that alone? I would be interested to know how you get on if you do decide to persue it though.

 

[sparkle_1979]

Thanks ladies

Cattia she's prob just trying to control the situation .. I have a little control freak, it's not that fact that things have changed it is just I've changed it without consulting her

Ruby's nursery this morning said she's started talking to them again and really likes one little girl. They didn't say if she played with her, I didn't ask...

It seems anytime she has a holiday it takes a few weeks to warm up again

At nursery this morning she was looking forward to showing off her new shoes. Another little girl was there showing off her new shoes ( the same ) ruby didn't look impressed I'm know I'm in for it when I pick her up.. She's really into clothes and hair, it's her thing at the moment ...

How are you feeling cattia? I hope you managed to get plenty of rest. Sometimes though keeping busy helps though too xx

 

[DaisyBee]

Megan is a control freak and a perfectionist. I was in denial forever about her perfectionism but it's so much just who she is that I saw it as just how she is. I have talked in detail to megans pediatrician about the idea of sensory processing disorder and asked about her getting ot. Her dr didn't think it was necessary at all and thinks Megan is fine just sensitive and has lots of anxiety. Noises for her are an anxiety thing. If she makes the noise she isn't upset by it, but if she isn't controlling it she gets upset. The older she is getting the better noises are getting. I see it similar to how all of her fears have been. Right now it's about the wind. Thursday she cried all the way into the school and had me lead her while she covered her head in her blanket. And yet Friday she was outside our house playing in the snow with no issues. So it's all in her head and how she sees it.

Megan has had a lot of fears this week and looking for monsters at bedtime and yelling for me 20 times before she falls asleep sure that she sees something in a shadow somewhere. I need to get darker blinds for her - her other ones broke.

 

[seaweed eater]

Thank you Cattia and Daisy. I think that for now I probably lean toward just trying to accommodate him and waiting to see how things change. Will still bring it up with his pediatrician on Thursday though to see what he says. I will keep you posted

Sparkle, I find the same thing about needing a while to warm up again after a break. I even find LO often has a slightly harder time at daycare on Mondays. I try to stay with him longer to make sure he's settled before I have to leave.

 

[DaisyBee]

Oh yes forgot to talk about that... Megan does better thurs school vs tues after she has been gone so many days. It's one reason we are talking about putting her in 4 days next fall vs 3. The routine and consistency help her. Anytime she has missed from being sick or they have had no school from fall break, Xmas, etc it takes her weeks to feel comfortable again. I don't see Megan as shy at all. But yet when we go to this preschool class she always hides behind me and says she is scared. It takes her a while to warm up and I generally stay until I can see she seems more comfortable. It isnt a formal class and they have been fine with me doing that. It seems worse at this class then any other class we've done. This class is more chaotic, more kids, basically everyone is in free play and teachers milling around. She still says she loves school, she just isn't great with transitions.

 

[seaweed eater]

I forgot to update about the pediatrician last week. He said it does sound like Munchkin has SPD, but he agreed with me that it would make sense at this point to keep waiting and watching -- sometimes it gets better over time and can be accommodated with no need for OT. So we are planning to revisit at the 2 year check. I also had yet another conversation with his teachers about not pressuring him to do art projects in school, so I feel good about where things are right now. We'll see. I don't want him to feel unhappy and left out, but I also don't want him stuck with a "disorder" label that will make him feel there is something wrong with him. It's delicate.

 

[Quartz]

Hello how is everyone doing? We are doing really well - Samy is getting an award at school for settling in (which basically means that at the beginning we did have a few issues that she has gotten over) and is now the same as everyone else. So its an award for being as she should! That said I am very proud and relieved that they too think that she is settled in as anyone else

 

[polaris]

Seaweed, that's very interesting about what the paediatrician said! Keep us updated. As an aside, I found that pressuring Thomas to do anything tends to have the opposite effect, he does much better when he is just allowed to watch for as long as he wants before (possibly) joining in at a later stage. One thing that I found helpful was replicating an art activity at home that he had watched other children doing but not joined in with, sometimes he would be happy to participate at home after having seen it done previously.

Quartz, yay that is great news that Samy has settled so well!

We are having a few issues at the moment that I would imagine are related to me going back to work. Behaviour and emotional regulation are both more of an issue than they had been in general. The specific issue that we are having though is around saying goodbye in the morning. He is looking for multiple hugs and kisses and then needs to say goodbye and see you later about ten times, the whole thing takes about ten minutes and if I try to interrupt the sequence and leave before he is satisfied he becomes totally hysterical. On several occasions OH has had to phone me because he's been so upset that he hasn't said goodbye "properly" (i.e. only 8 times instead of 10, LOL). It's like a compulsion that he has to keep repeating and repeating the sequence of hugs and kisses and goodbyes. It's mainly when I'm going to work but he's started doing it a little bit with OH too. I am just going with the flow because I do think it's just a phase and related to me going back to work, but it's a bit draining. I'm also going to start getting him up half an hour earlier to give him a bit more time with me in the morning before I have to go, and also to allow a bit more time for the long goodbye sequence so I'm not worrying about being late for work on top of everything! Has anyone else been through something similar? Please tell me it is a short phase?? Any suggestions?

 

[Cattia]

Hello ladies
Glad to see everyone is doing ok. Thank you for the advice. quartz, great news about Sammy. Well done
Seaweed, let us know how things go. I definitely feel both my two have various sensory issues but I know some of this is normal for their age and as long as it doesn't interfere too much with their life then waiting to see how things go sounds good.
Polaris, we have this to a lesser extent with both A and G. I always kiss them and hug them goodbye in the morning, but if I don't make a real conscious effort to tell them that I am saying bye bye to them and giving them a kiss and cuddle, then they will cry and scream that they didn't gey to say goodbye properly. They both do it! They also sometimes do it at bedtime if I don't kiss and cuddle them properly before they go to sleep.
Abigail has been on reasonably good form lately. The noise thing is still an issue, she will cover her ears if we are out and she hears an ambulance or car alarm. However she is less distressed AMD gets over it more quickly than she did a month or so ago.
George has been quite controlling with his behaviour, for example if I let him choose a toy in the pound shop when we go out, he won't choose, whichever one he chooses he has to put it back and choose a different one, we can ne there ages, then when he finally does choose he goes on for ages afterwards about the fact that he wants a different toy! He isn't my sensitive child, not in the same way that Abigail is, but he certainly has his quirks!

 

[Jchihuahua]

Hi ladies. I hope you're all well.

Quartz, well done to Samy on her award!

Polaris, we are also having some issues about me returning to work. Daisy is going through a difficult phase and is quite clingy and needy. She begs me to stay at home and not go to work every single day and on the days when I am at home the delight in her face makes me feel guilty that I can't always be at home with her. There have been a lot of staffing changes at preschool and she's struggled a bit with that too.

Tommy's agressive phase only lasted a week and he is completely back to normal again. He has tantrums sometimes when he is frustrated but they are nothing compared to how Daisy used to be. His 'normal' age appropriate behaviour really highlights how different and severe Daisy's behaviour was at 2.

 

[Quartz]

Polaris the very reason she is getting the reward is because of how bad it got with me going back to work, she is getting it now because she has overcome all of that as has integrated herself into the class but my god we had a few tough weeks we me going back. My poor Dad who took her to school during this (and I only work two days a week) is still traumatised by it all.