Sensitive kids group

[Tacey]

We had to postpone one visit, as the children were poorly. The other was ok. Alice played for quite a while before disappearing. Both the girls who have invited her over are a bit older and baby her a lot, including picking her up, which is hard for her as she really isn't keen on physical contact.

The noise thing makes sense to me too Cattia. I find televisions on stand by the most irritating thing, which my mum used to be very perplexed by, as she can't even hear it. White noise is a great idea. I've used it when I am particularly stressed, and it makes a big difference.

How was the play date Sparkle? I hope she managed it ok.

 

[sparkle_1979]

Ruby's the same and doesn't like kids trying to pick her up or go for a hug bye

The play date was ok. Better than I thought and she only asked to go to bed once she was very good with sharing ( used to be a huge deal ) I noticed she stuck with the quiet girl more than the others

Actually though even though they were all around 3 & 4 most did their own thing which makes me feel better xx

 

[Cattia]

I've noticed that they do still tend to go off and do their own thing at that age. Abigail tends to attach herself to other children whether they like it or not! At soft play today she had made friends with a group of other girls but they were a little bit older so I don't know what they felt about it.
Weirdly, Abigail likes the Hoover and the hairdeyer, but yesterday she covered her was at the Hoover which she has never done before. I said to her 'you normally like the Hoover' and she said 'oh yes' and took her ears away and carried on playing! It's strange, but I think in her case the noose thing is definitely behavioural to some extent. We are going to a party next weekend and she is already asking and asking whether there will be balloons there as she's so scared of them banging. I feel I need to push her a little bit with things like this as I don't want her activities being restricted by her anxieties, so I told her there might be balloons there but if she wants to join in with the party she needs to try to be brave about them.
Sparkle, glad the play date went well. It's hard not to over analyse them isn't it. I sometimes prefer it when they go off and play upstairs so I don't have to worry

 

[sparkle_1979]

Lol same here

 

[DaisyBee]

Megan has been panicking about the cold weather and wind. She panics and starts freaking out as soon as the wind hits her. It has been especially cold this winter... And she now worries about it to the point of not wanting to leave the house as she says it's too cold. It's very similar to what she has done in the past with changing her shirt over her head ( being afraid of getting stuck) washing hair ( afraid of getting water in eyes and ears), combing hair, public toilets. It's a very physical reaction and big anxiety over it. I can't wait til it warms up and that should solve things... Another mom asked if she got a finger caught in the car door ( that's how major her reaction is to the cold!)

I think she is starting to read words? We made valentines for her classmates and she picked each out of the bag and some she read the names "ness a" "elliot" without help. In books she seems to be picking up small words like go, sit, etc. Is it a fluke?

Yesterday she told Jordan she wanted her to stay a baby forever and not grow old because she doesn't want her to die, because she would miss her.

We sign up for next years preschool in march. Right now she is in 2 days every week for 2 1/2 hrs each day. Next year we were thinking of doing 3 mornings a week, but now are thinking maybe she should do 4 mornings ( it's the max they offer). It's with totally different teachers..one does the 3 day and a different does the 4 day. We have just found out kindergarten is now full days vs 1/2 days. I think 4 mornings next year will help her more with that kindergarten transition. We had thought she has her whole life for school, that we shouldn't do the max... But next year is curriculum... And way more structured than this year. We asked her and she says she would like to go 10 days a week.. Lol lots of days every week she says. She likes school and really wondering if more days would help her get into the routine of it? Any thoughts from anyone on this?

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, I'm not surprised that Megan is afraid of the cold with the temperatures you have been having. Poor thing, it probably is actually physically painful to her. Clara is very sensitive to cold and I haven't been bringing her out much at all recently because of it. But it's nowhere near as cold here as where you are.

Re the four days/three days dilemma, I think either would be fine. You have to pay for preschool, right? So I guess it also partly depends on how much extra it would cost for her to go for the extra day. Thomas is funded for five mornings but I often only send him for four, but I have that choice because I'm not paying for it. I think four mornings is a good balance to be honest. Sometimes I even send him five mornings which I didn't expect to do at all but he likes it and wants to go and sometimes it's a relief to have the morning just with Clara!

I'm trying some partial night weaning with Clara at the moment, trying to get a seven hour block with no feeds. Last night was the first night without feeding for the seven hours and it was pretty rough. I'm so exhausted! Wish me luck for tonight - I have to go to work tomorrow and not sure how well I will be functioning if we have another night like last night. I just really need to get my evenings back, I can't handle going up and down to her every hour now that I'm back in work, I really need the evenings free for getting everything ready for the next day - it feels like there is never any down time.

 

[DaisyBee]

Polaris- good luck with the night weaning! I hope it works and that it helps. Yes you need down time, and you both need your sleep! Fx that tonight goes smoother!

I asked Megan more about how she feels outside right now and she mentioned that she can't breathe... So I wonder if that is part of the fear. The wind takes her breath away and that scares her. It was a bit warmer today but so windy that it was hard to even walk, so it was hard to even notice it was warmer! Next week is supposed to actually warm up though! Maybe even hit the freezing point!

We do have to pay for preschool but I don't want that to enter into my decision. I think that kindergarten being full days has me a bit worried- if we only do 3 mornings a week that is a big jump for her.

I had a massage last night. I've been really trying hard to do more things for me. My anxiety has been getting worse. Dh and I have bought 2 different books on meditating. Last weekend I had a girls night at someones house- we had a sales party type thing and then people brought food and crafting projects to work on, it was lots of fun. Sunday I went out shopping by myself with dh home with the kids. Got myself a new swimsuit for mexico, and got a pedicure! I've had more time away from my kids than I have in the past 4 years combined good thing is I think it will help them be ok with me being gone for 6 days... By last night me leaving for the massage, Megan didn't think anything of me leaving.

 

[seaweed eater]

Good luck with the night weaning Polaris hon Munchkin's back to eating at night again so I'm going to attempt the same thing sometime soon. He's sick right now though so obviously will wait until he's better. I hope it goes well for you and you finally start getting some more sleep.

 

[Cattia]

For some reason I'm not subscribed to this thread any more so I missed lots of posts. Daisybee, I have the same dilemma with George next week, unsure whether to do three moorings or four. I was also thinking four might ease the way into school. The cold weather sounds horrible. And Megan sounds very bright so it wouldn't surprise me at all if she was starting to read. I bet you can't wait for Mexico. What a contrast to all that cold! How are you getting on with the meditation books?

Polaris, how's the night weaning going? I hope you're managing to get some sleep. It must be even harder now you're back at work.

Tricky morning for us; we had a birthday party to go to and even before Abigail got there she was really anxious about there being balloons there. When we got there they had loads of balloons and then a couple of them got burst. She was so scared and wouldn't take her hands away from her ears. In the end I took her outside and said that she'd have to uncover her ears otherwise I would need to get my mum to come and take her home. She wanted to stay to the end because she wanted her party bag. When another one burst she became hysterical and was sobbing and clinging to me. I thought we were going to have to leave but luckily the mum put the balloons away and then Abigail was really happy because she actually really wanted to stay at the party.

The weirdest thing is that in their party bags they had party blowers and her and George were blowing them all the way home. They were SO loud yet that noise didn't bother her at all! I just don't get it. I'm finding it difficult to deal with the noise thing, especially as it makes me nervous if we have to go anywhere I know there are going to be noises she doesn't like. I'm unsure whether to mention it to the GP?

 

[Jchihuahua]

Hi ladies, just popping in to say hi. I havent been on BnB as much as I normally do as Daisy has been really, really unwell and a few of her sensitivities that seemed to have gone have popped back up (flushing the toilet being the main one) and I'm having a few problems with Tommy at the moment too . That combined with the damn 4 month sleep regression and stressing about returning to work in 3 weeks!!! Will update soon.

 

[Cattia]

Hi JC :wave:
I am sorry to hear Daisy has been unwell. I hope she's on the mend. I can't believe your maternity leave is almost over already At least we are moving into the better part of the year where Spring is coming and we will hit the summer term.

Things here are ok. Abigail seems a bit more settled (apart from having a major meltdown at bedtime today because she doesn't want to be 5, she wants to stay 4 forever). I asked the Dr about her noise sensitivity and he checked her ears and said he can't see evidence of anything physical and it is probably just a behavioural thing that she will grow out of. She's been very sweet this week. She seems to be more secure when she's with me all the time, which makes me feel crappy that I have to work so much. I'm sure shed be happier if I could be a stay at home mum. Mind you I've been pretty snappy lately!

 

[Jchihuahua]

Daisy had an awful UTI that didn't clear up and turned into a kidney infection and was so, so poorly. She's better now after the second lot of antibiotics thank goodness. I got really anxious that something was seriously wrong with her as the doctor was very concerned about her and I googled too much and scared myself. We went for a follow up visit the other day and the doctor told me she'd twice checked Daisy's records to see if she'd had to be admitted to hospital over the course of the week. She says if any symptoms come back I have to take her back immediately.

Over the last few weeks her sensitivity to noises like hair driers, hand driers and toilets flushing has got worse again. She started to cry in Ikea the other day when I flushed the toilet and was shouting that she wanted to be out of the cubicle. It came out of the blue as she'd been perfectly happy until the moment I flushed the toilet when she'd been.

Tommy has always been a delight to take to groups and I was pleased with how good he seemed to be at sharing for his age but twice in the last week he's hurt children at the groups . I am gutted as he's never been aggressive before and it has come from nowhere. I am now panicking that he's going to always be like that now and we won't be able to take him anywhere. He's always been so good so this is a shock. I had all sorts of things arranged for my last couple of weeks off but don't know whether or not I can trust him to take him out at the moment.

Eddie is suffering quite badly with eczema, poor little thing. His silent reflux is pretty much under control now thank goodness. His was nowhere near as bad as Tommy's was. He's refusing bottles so I'm stressed about that as he'll need bottles of EBM when I'm back at work very soon.

Being a parent is really hard work sometimes.

 

[seaweed eater]

That does sound like hard work, Jc! I hope it all calms down soon. Glad that Daisy is doing better. That must have been scary.

 

[Cattia]

JC that sounds awful Poor Daisy. I'm glad she's better. I think Tommy is just getting to the age where he needs to test boundaries out. I have definitely found this much more pronounced with George than with Abigail. It might a generalization but I think boys seem to need to test their place in the pecking order with other children more than girls. George's behaviour is waaaay more challening than Abigail's has ever been. He doesn't have the sensitivities he is very, very defiant and just plain naughty! Neither of my two would take a bottle until literally just before I went back to work, but they both did in the end. You'll probably find that Eddie will when he has to. I bet you are finding it hard thinking about going back to work.

I have found it so hard keeping my patience with the kids this week. My DH has been away so I've had them on my own. I've been very stressed about this pregnancy. I have basically had no symptoms and have convinced myself that I've had a mmc. I have an 8 week private scan on Tuesday so I find out then but every day this has dragged so badly. I feel terrible as it should have been a lovley week with the kids and I have basically snapped at them and been a moody cow all week. Abigail gets more clingy and whingey when I am short tempered which makes me even more irritated so it's a viscous circle really

 

[Cattia]

Well, bad news for me ladies, mmc at 8 weeks Baby only measured 6 weeks at scan with no hb. I already knew since my symptoms stopped at 6 weeks.
It's sad but honestly I'm not sure the adjustment to a new baby would have been ideal for Abigail when she was just starting school. Hopefully we will get lucky again fairly soon so all being well she will have a sibling a bit later into her school year! I've never had a mc before though so I'm going to be terrified of it happening again. On the plus side, my focus has really been taken away from Abigail's sensitivities with all this going on and it's definitely easier to deal with when I'm stressing less about it, if that makes sense?
How are all you other ladies doing? I really miss your updates. JC, are uou back at work yet? Xx

 

[sparkle_1979]

Hi cattia so sorry to hear this hope you're getting rest xx

We ok new pre school said ruby doesn't talk much, she did say she thinks she's just incredibly shy though

She's so different at hone. So happy, chatty , plays with her sister but u take her out and someone tries to talk to her she hides.. I don't understand it
just getting her to say hello is painful for her
I'm not sure how she's getting on with the children I don't think she talks to them much either xx

 

[Jchihuahua]

Oh Cattia, I am so, so sorry . xx

 

[Cattia]

Thank you both.
Well this morning has been awful for us. I'm not at work at the moment and normally the kids go to the childminder on Friday, so today I arranged for them to get picked up by the childminder for the morning then come back here this afternoon so I could have a rest but still spend a bit of time with them. Abigail has just gone into meltdown because she wants it to be a nornal day and to go to the childminder all day. When I asked her if she would rather spend some time at home with mummy she said no and started being hysterical. It's really upset me to be honest. I never thought of her as being ultra attached to her routine but it was like the fact that there was a change was much more important to her than I was. I know I'm being ultra emotional and hysterical but it got me thinking she must have some sort of aspergers because sometimes it feels like she just has no empathy. Sorry for the rant.

 

[sparkle_1979]

Aww huge hugs. With the emotional stress you're going through this with prob worsen your anxiety about Abigail and Aspergers, I know when I'm stressed I worry more about ruby

I think most children that age are pretty selfish, ruby doesn't have much empathy either, it's all me me me but I think that's true of most young children ( I know a fair few adults too )

This is a hard time for you, a meltdowning child will not help, but she doesn't know Hun don't worry about the Aspergers thing today... Tell yourself everything is going to seem ten times worse when you feel like this xx

Xxx

 

[Cattia]

Thank you so much for replying Sparkle. Think I completed miscarrying naturally this morning To be honest I've barely stopped crying for days. The thing with Abigail was just the last straw. I just needed her to be a bit nice, which I know is unfair on her as she's only four. She doesn't like it when things are different than usual. Her pre school teacher says she's very empathic but I don't always see it at home.
How is Ruby doing at her new pre school? It sounds as though she's just a bit shy. She is probably someone who will make a best friend then find her feet. I was always like that, i just had one best friend Xx