September Sweet Peas (Our 2015 Rainbows)

[carebear1981]

Thanks Bug

I have an appt with my doc on Monday (I already had an appt booked since I broke my foot mid-dec) My doc is a softie... she gives me anything I want so will probably get referred for bloodwork and a scan because of my history.
Only thing now is I won't be able to get xrays to see if my foot is healed!

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Oh kd....I'm so sorry.

 

[AmbiguousHope]

Ambiguoushope, sorry about your inlaws. I have strange inlaws too. When I miscarried at 8 weeks in October, my husband had to tell them because they were scheduled to come visit us from out of state the very next weekend. When they came to visit I was 6 days post miscarriage and they didn't breathe a word about it. They couldn't even say a simple "sorry." I was so hurt. Furthermore they acted like children when things didn't go their way during their visit! Meanwhile I was sad and heartbroken but being the mature one I tried to make their visit pleasant as possible by trying to remember to smile and be friendly.

Btw, yes I am a member of both Sweet Peas groups.

That's awful. Some people can be so blind to anyone's feelings but their own.

Congrats on your scan!!! I'm so happy for you!


Sarah, your symptoms sound VERY normal for your stage.

MrsG Cutie Jelly and Bugg, congrats on your scan! Your beans are lovely!

Welcome Yazzy and Carebear! Congratulations!



Sorry I've been so scarce. I've been really nervous and trying to lay low and forget as much as I can. For those of you complaining about having off and on symptoms, I feel the same way. I think that's normal. I was like that with my son. You're d*mned if you do and d*mned if you don't. Either you're miserable with the symptoms or you're miserable worrying because you're not having enough symptoms. PAL is a tough place to be.

My scan is this Tuesday. I'm so excited and nervous. Hopefully it'll shed some positive light on this for me.

 

[Bug222]

*ambiguous* Im looking forward to hearing good news on Tuesday- I will be thinking of you!!!

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

What's your take on when to tell people? I made the mistake of commenting in a fb group that I thought was closed...something about due dates and "must haves" for the baby...I just commented with my due date and that my only "must have" is bringing home a living baby.

Wellllllll, turns out my MIL saw that, and called my husband in hysterics, saying we must hate her for not having told her right away, etc. Now, at first I felt awful because I adore my MIL, had planned on giving her a pretty box with the ultrasound picture in it, so I could see her face light up with the surprise. I did not WANT her to find out this way- but I also didn't want her to find out AT ALL yet. There's a REASON that we haven't told her yet. I'm not comfortable telling the world. I want to wait until it's "safe" or as reasonably close to that as is possible.

So I went from feeling bad that her feelings were hurt, to being a little put out by the hysterics- I'm not obligated to tell anyone. I don't OWE anyone that information. At the risk of sounding like a real douche...this is not about her feelings at this point. It is my baby, and my husband's, and we have the right to tell who we want, when we want. I have told NOBODY in my family. The only people who know are my two closest friends. That's it! I'm not ready yet. I'm still SCARED all of the time. I feel pretty confident that one baby dying already gives us the right to be cautious.

I feel badly for being annoyed by her reaction to seeing it....but my god. It's nobody's business yet but OURS at this point. And for what it's worth, she probably didn't need to go looking at stuff when she saw "Kristen Goodhart commented on [blahblahblah]..." I felt like telling her to mind her own but of course did not. Am I a jerk?

 

[babyfeva]

Hi and welcome Carebear!

 

[babyfeva]

Ambigious, best of luck on your scan on Tuesday. Mine is on Monday!

 

[maryanne1987]

Mrs goodheart no, you have very right to feel that way. I put my foot down with my partner and said this time no one was to know untill 12 weeks. Course he totally ignored me a proceeded to tell his co workers who promptly told his sister and mum. Livid was not the work! He is in fact still sleeping on the couch! At the end of the day we are the ones with a little life growing inside us, having to go through all the fears and horrible symptoms. It's only fair that we should pick when we are comfortable for people to know. It's hard to keep a lid on it when even a couple of people know. And I really don't want the added pressure.

Oh and welcome carebear. Congrats on your bfp!

 

[yazzy]

Welcome carebear!

Ambiguous good luck for your scan on Tuesday.

With regards to telling people so far my mum and best friend know but that's all at the mo. For me I don't mind family and my closest friends knowing because they are the one's who helped me after my mmc 4 yrs ago and were so helpful when I was out of hospital on complete rest after my ectopic.

 

[AmbiguousHope]

MrsG,
I'm sorry your MIL had to find out sooner than you intended. You are not at all selfish! You should be able to tell when you feel you're ready. Like I said earlier, I'm only going to tell my in laws when my husband puts his foot down and makes me. With their past reactions I especially don't feel I owe them anything. Like you said, this is about me and trying to keep my baby healthy. I don't need added drama of people knowing. Especially the ones who are going to add to my stress by creating drama.

Good luck Babyfeva! I'll be stalking!

Yazzy, that is my theory too. My mom and dad knows and my three best friends. My mom, because I need her help with watching the little girl I babysit everyday, my dad because I didn't want him to feel left out and he was planning our family vacation right after my due date. My friends know because I need their non-dramatic support. They know my history and they know how I feel. My MIL knows my history but has a knack for saying the wrong things and being insensitive.

 

[carebear1981]

I made my husband agree that we wouldn't tell anyone until I was ready. I think if we find out it is in the right spot for sure. Maybe sometime during the 10-12 weeks. When I mc'd we had pretty much just told everyone the day before. I was still getting people congratulating me after it happened as the word spread in my family. It really sucked.
I'll have to tell work sooner, since I work on contaminated sites and I won't be doing that anymore.
On the flip side, we had just been about to tell DHs fam and none of them knew so he barely had the support I did.
I'm sorry your MIL found out MrsG and that she was hysterical. I hate fb for that. I'm afraid to tell anyone right now too. That sux it ruined the wayyou wanted to tell her. Maybe just suck it up, give her the gift and let her know this is how you wanted her to find out. Maybe that will settle her down so you can be the only crazy person. With us

I've attached my POAS test from yesterday.

 

[maryanne1987]

Lovely lines carebear! I still poas everyday! Too afraid to stop! Lol

 

[SarahLou372]

Ladies...

I think Im around 5 weeks pregnant and I have had period like pains on and off for over a week now (Just after I found Out that Im pregnant) And today I woke up and when I went to the loo I had brown discharge when I wipe.. sorry tmi I still have the same period like pains on an off. Im worried that im losing the baby, there is none in my underwear so far its just when I wipe, Im worried because I still have it a few hours later

Please help me I did ring the midwife unit

 

[cutieq]

MrsG, your baby your feelings. You're entitled to tell when you're ready. We've told family but it was on our terms so that may be different. My approach may not ne the strongest but I'm all about resolution. I would just talk to her of have DH talk go her and let her know why. She's probably only acting this way because I assume she doesn't know why you withheld. Give her that benefit of the doubt and if she still chooses to internalize it and he upset, that's on her to overcome.

 

[cutieq]

Sarah, cramps that feel like AF and brown spotting can both be normal. I know that doesn't comfort you much but it doesn't mean you're losing the baby. Hope your midwife can ring you back and provide some comfort for you.

 

[carebear1981]

Sarah- try not to worry, I know it's hard to do... like cutie said, brown blood and cramping can both be normal. I hope ur midwife can help assure you.

 

[SarahLou372]

The father of my baby is not supportive of me at all I'm in pain and he just sat there eating and watching TV. I told him I want to see a doctor and he just sighed as if I was an inconvenience. And cause he in work clothes he said he won't come in with me

 

[maryanne1987]

Hun you need a good support network around you especially if it's your first baby. Do you have family or a close friend you could talk to?

 

[AmbiguousHope]

I'm so sorry, Sarah. Men can be such a pain sometimes. Like they said, brown blood can be very normal. I had it before and it ended up being an unrelated, non issue, with my cervix. I hope your midwife calls back soon. I know she is the only person who can truly comfort you right now.

 

[knobby]

The father of my baby is not supportive of me at all I'm in pain and he just sat there eating and watching TV. I told him I want to see a doctor and he just sighed as if I was an inconvenience. And cause he in work clothes he said he won't come in with me

This makes me angry. I would be livid if my husband acted that cold and uncaring towards me. It shouldn't matter what he is wearing if he goes to the dr with you to see if there is anything wrong with his baby. And the sighing because it is inconvenient to him!? I am sorry you are going through this. You shouldn't put up with this kind of behavior. No one should. You deserve more than that.