Sick of people commenting about me FF

[noree]

Try not to worry too much, I have had moments of guilt but they really are just moments (getting less and less) as I know my girl is loved very much and is thriving whilst being FF, the health visitor weighed her today and she is gaining perfectly. I just think it shows other peoples narrow mindedness and complete lack of manners to question you and make you feel bad over the choices you have made with your body and your child, and i won't explain to anyone why I FF anymore, it's not their business. I also can't understand why those who may have been subjected to ignorance and rudeness (which is totally unacceptable) regarding breastfeeding would then make others feel bad with regards to how they feed their baby?? (like the horrid lady at you're baby massage class) BF is wonderful and all power to those who make this choice but I haven't and will tell anyone who questions me from now on to go take a long walk off a short bridge!! Good luck with finding classes, I am in Coventry and can start driving next week after my section so I am excited to find classes in warwickshire/coventry area xx

 

[George35]

You shouldn't need to justify it. You chose what is best for you and your baby. If people question you tell them to jog on. I tried BFing and lasted 2 weeks. It was agony and LO just wasn't getting enough milk (people don't believe me when I say that but they don't know me so really it's not their place to judge) I tried it. Couldn't do it. She is now 2 and a half and, in the words of my HV, is one of the brightest children she's ever met. And also one of the healthiest. You have nothing to feel guilty for

I completely agree with people not believing you when you say you didnt produce enough milk. I got that aswell and I got the whole lecture about only 1% of people dont produce enough milk etc etc. Unless they are there with you they dont know what it is like. Trying to use the electric pump every 3 hours for weeks and getting 2 mls out at a time! xxx

Expressing is by no means an accurate representation of how much milk you're producing. Babies are much more efficient than a pump. I have never been able to express much but sustained my baby just fine.

I think she was probably saying that when you have a baby with latching issues and you can't express a lot it's very hard to BF and that people can be dismissive of this and not believe you.

I quite understand, my reply wasnt aimed at anyone in particular. Just don't think it's good for people to think that if they can't pump much, that they're not producing enough milk

 

[Bertsbaby1]

You shouldn't need to justify it. You chose what is best for you and your baby. If people question you tell them to jog on. I tried BFing and lasted 2 weeks. It was agony and LO just wasn't getting enough milk (people don't believe me when I say that but they don't know me so really it's not their place to judge) I tried it. Couldn't do it. She is now 2 and a half and, in the words of my HV, is one of the brightest children she's ever met. And also one of the healthiest. You have nothing to feel guilty for

I completely agree with people not believing you when you say you didnt produce enough milk. I got that aswell and I got the whole lecture about only 1% of people dont produce enough milk etc etc. Unless they are there with you they dont know what it is like. Trying to use the electric pump every 3 hours for weeks and getting 2 mls out at a time! xxx

Expressing is by no means an accurate representation of how much milk you're producing. Babies are much more efficient than a pump. I have never been able to express much but sustained my baby just fine.

I think she was probably saying that when you have a baby with latching issues and you can't express a lot it's very hard to BF and that people can be dismissive of this and not believe you.

I quite understand, my reply wasnt aimed at anyone in particular. Just don't think it's good for people to think that if they can't pump much, that they're not producing enough milk

IMO, picking apart a woman's reason for choosing to FF in a post about how women feel guilty about FFing and sadly feel the need to justify their choice is a bit off.

 

[George35]

You shouldn't need to justify it. You chose what is best for you and your baby. If people question you tell them to jog on. I tried BFing and lasted 2 weeks. It was agony and LO just wasn't getting enough milk (people don't believe me when I say that but they don't know me so really it's not their place to judge) I tried it. Couldn't do it. She is now 2 and a half and, in the words of my HV, is one of the brightest children she's ever met. And also one of the healthiest. You have nothing to feel guilty for

I completely agree with people not believing you when you say you didnt produce enough milk. I got that aswell and I got the whole lecture about only 1% of people dont produce enough milk etc etc. Unless they are there with you they dont know what it is like. Trying to use the electric pump every 3 hours for weeks and getting 2 mls out at a time! xxx

Expressing is by no means an accurate representation of how much milk you're producing. Babies are much more efficient than a pump. I have never been able to express much but sustained my baby just fine.

I think she was probably saying that when you have a baby with latching issues and you can't express a lot it's very hard to BF and that people can be dismissive of this and not believe you.

I quite understand, my reply wasnt aimed at anyone in particular. Just don't think it's good for people to think that if they can't pump much, that they're not producing enough milk

IMO, picking apart a woman's reason for choosing to FF in a post about how women feel guilty about FFing and sadly feel the need to justify their choice is a bit off.

I'm not trying to pick apart anyone's reasoning. Just trying to correct some myths about breastfeeding. Perhaps if there wasn't so much mis-information floating around then more women would be able to have the positive breastfeeding relationships that they hope for and this guilt wouldn't be such a problem.

 

[dani_tinks]

No one should feel guilty for FF so big hug ladies you're all doing fab.
I was made to feel awful in hospital after giving birth, I wasn't in the right state of mind and all I heard was breast is best. No one stopped to ask how I felt, If I was ok (I wasnt!), what I WANTED to do. It's crazy. In the end I expressed for over a month and then he was solely on formula ever since. He's bright, healthy and growing well. We all do the best we can

 

[Kitty23]

You shouldn't need to justify it. You chose what is best for you and your baby. If people question you tell them to jog on. I tried BFing and lasted 2 weeks. It was agony and LO just wasn't getting enough milk (people don't believe me when I say that but they don't know me so really it's not their place to judge) I tried it. Couldn't do it. She is now 2 and a half and, in the words of my HV, is one of the brightest children she's ever met. And also one of the healthiest. You have nothing to feel guilty for

I completely agree with people not believing you when you say you didnt produce enough milk. I got that aswell and I got the whole lecture about only 1% of people dont produce enough milk etc etc. Unless they are there with you they dont know what it is like. Trying to use the electric pump every 3 hours for weeks and getting 2 mls out at a time! xxx

Expressing is by no means an accurate representation of how much milk you're producing. Babies are much more efficient than a pump. I have never been able to express much but sustained my baby just fine.

I think most people realise that babies get more out of you than a breast pump does.

Why do people post if they have nothing nice to post. I was trying to breast feed two premature babies who were too young to latch on. I had also been given medication which hinders milk production or I would have died from eclampsia.

 

[fairypop]

Thanks fopr all the responses, it really does help to hear that other people worry and struggle with it all too. My LO was weighed today and he is now 10lb 5oz (birth weight was 9lb 1/2 oz) - he obviously enjoys his milk lol! He is a long baby rather than wide, but I still can't believe he is putting weight on at such a rate. Bless him!

I didn't mean to start any kind of debate on FF or BF or expressing or anything so hope noone is offended or upset xxx

Noree - Oooh, I am in Rugby, so if you find anywhere good to go in Cov, let me know! We used to live in Cov.

xxx

 

[LittleAngel09]

No one should feel guilty for FF so big hug ladies you're all doing fab.
I was made to feel awful in hospital after giving birth, I wasn't in the right state of mind and all I heard was breast is best. No one stopped to ask how I felt, If I was ok (I wasnt!), what I WANTED to do. It's crazy. In the end I expressed for over a month and then he was solely on formula ever since. He's bright, healthy and growing well. We all do the best we can

I was the same. All the midwives took it upon themselves to 'force' me to bf, thinking they had the right to whip out my breast at every oppotunity! I'm sick of hearing breast is best....I spent the whole time in tears and (like you) none of the midwives asked if I was ok. All they did was say if it hurt or my nipples got sore it was because I wasn't doing it right! (every time I latched her on it was with the help of a midwife, so I was doing it correctly). Talk about a one way ticket to post natal depression!!

I was ff and I'm fine, and so is my 3 month old daughter. I am gutted bf didn't work out but at the end of the day as long as my daughter is happy and healthy and my state of mind is good, then why the fuss over ff.

Sorry for the long reply

 

[fairypop]

No one should feel guilty for FF so big hug ladies you're all doing fab.
I was made to feel awful in hospital after giving birth, I wasn't in the right state of mind and all I heard was breast is best. No one stopped to ask how I felt, If I was ok (I wasnt!), what I WANTED to do. It's crazy. In the end I expressed for over a month and then he was solely on formula ever since. He's bright, healthy and growing well. We all do the best we can

I was the same. All the midwives took it upon themselves to 'force' me to bf, thinking they had the right to whip out my breast at every oppotunity! I'm sick of hearing breast is best....I spent the whole time in tears and (like you) none of the midwives asked if I was ok. All they did was say if it hurt or my nipples got sore it was because I wasn't doing it right! (every time I latched her on it was with the help of a midwife, so I was doing it correctly). Talk about a one way ticket to post natal depression!!

I was ff and I'm fine, and so is my 3 month old daughter. I am gutted bf didn't work out but at the end of the day as long as my daughter is happy and healthy and my state of mind is good, then why the fuss over ff.

Sorry for the long reply

That was it, the way they did whip your boob out, and just take over - it was horrible, I found it v, traumatic, it may sound lame, but I do keep thinking back to it all and felt very out of control, especially when I was so weak and feeling really vulnerable. At one point I passed a blood clot the size of a grapefruit and has a bit of a panic attack, and then 10 mins later, there they are trying to milk you!

x

 

[Nic1107]

It gets easier babe, I promise. Before you know it you'll be weaning, and when the playing field evens out a bit iykwim, the guilt starts to fade as you see that your LO is thriving, happy and intelligent. Sometimes I still feel a pang whenever I walk past a BF-ing room in a public place or whatever, but the constant hurt and guilt has gone away. Good luck hun, don't let anyone make you feel bad for something you've no reason to feel bad about.

 

[tu123]

Thanks for all your comments, makes me feel better it isn't just me...

I am worried as I wanted to join some NCT classes and go to some of the coffee mornings etc, but now as I am FF I think I will be frowned upon and I am not sure whether I can go and see - or whether this will just hold me back from even attempting to go I have heard the NCT are pretty militant about BF so I guess I am excluded. I need to find a Formula Feeding Cafe!! Don't think they have those groups!! Might be a lonely maternity leave for me then

I've been worried about this too. I can't breast feed in public-LO screams head off. She gets EBM and formula. I have not been to any groups yet but lonely for some!

I was in a cafe a few weeks ago giving LO some EBM by bottle. Two other women were in there breast feeding and giving me nasty looks. I am usually such a strong person and this would nt have bothered me but easy to feel lower and lss confident with a new LO?

 

[GossipGirly]

i felt exactly the same i tried to bf for 3 weeks and really wanted to bf so i was so hard on myself... i had flat nipples she couldnt latch, should i have starved her. Everytime i feed her i feel the need to explain this... why??? she is thriving! its bloody hard bf no one tells u that....

nct are fine, they just are no allowed to teach ff, but they understand not everyone can/wants too x

 

[GossipGirly]

im even justifying it in my signiture x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Your sig about FF might get removed... I know a few people who have put up things like that and they've been taken down. The BFing ones don't though because apparently the FF ones are just there to 'prove a point' whereas the BFing ones aren't..? I don't know how it works, just thought I would let you know anyway

 

[Jody R]

You shouldn't need to justify it. You chose what is best for you and your baby. If people question you tell them to jog on. I tried BFing and lasted 2 weeks. It was agony and LO just wasn't getting enough milk (people don't believe me when I say that but they don't know me so really it's not their place to judge) I tried it. Couldn't do it. She is now 2 and a half and, in the words of my HV, is one of the brightest children she's ever met. And also one of the healthiest. You have nothing to feel guilty for

I completely agree with people not believing you when you say you didnt produce enough milk. I got that aswell and I got the whole lecture about only 1% of people dont produce enough milk etc etc. Unless they are there with you they dont know what it is like. Trying to use the electric pump every 3 hours for weeks and getting 2 mls out at a time! xxx

Expressing is by no means an accurate representation of how much milk you're producing. Babies are much more efficient than a pump. I have never been able to express much but sustained my baby just fine.

I think she was probably saying that when you have a baby with latching issues and you can't express a lot it's very hard to BF and that people can be dismissive of this and not believe you.

I quite understand, my reply wasnt aimed at anyone in particular. Just don't think it's good for people to think that if they can't pump much, that they're not producing enough milk

IMO, picking apart a woman's reason for choosing to FF in a post about how women feel guilty about FFing and sadly feel the need to justify their choice is a bit off.

I'm not trying to pick apart anyone's reasoning. Just trying to correct some myths about breastfeeding. Perhaps if there wasn't so much mis-information floating around then more women would be able to have the positive breastfeeding relationships that they hope for and this guilt wouldn't be such a problem.

Welcome to B&B

I appreciate your intentions but perhaps this wasn't the right thread or the right area of the forum to try and correct those myths. This thread isn't really about misinformation as most people in the FF section are quite well informed and many of us have tried breastfeeding our babies at some point and are no longer doing so for various reasons, but misinformation usually isn't one of them.

I notice that you have only just joined the forum last month and these three posts are your only ones (so far). Have you thought about introducing yourself in the new members thread? Most new members do and are made very welcome and it helps them familiarise themselves with the forum and the people on it. The FF and BF sections can sometimes become a little sensitive, especially when someone who already feels criticised for their choice has posted for a support and reassurance that they haven't done anything wrong.

 

[GossipGirly]

Your sig about FF might get removed... I know a few people who have put up things like that and they've been taken down. The BFing ones don't though because apparently the FF ones are just there to 'prove a point' whereas the BFing ones aren't..? I don't know how it works, just thought I would let you know anyway

really? why, thats totally stupid if it does as its kinda saying no they are not... im not saying anything bad about bf babies... i loved bf but unfortunatly my body failed me. I dont think im proving a point im stating the obvious x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Your sig about FF might get removed... I know a few people who have put up things like that and they've been taken down. The BFing ones don't though because apparently the FF ones are just there to 'prove a point' whereas the BFing ones aren't..? I don't know how it works, just thought I would let you know anyway

really? why, thats totally stupid if it does as its kinda saying no they are not... im not saying anything bad about bf babies... i loved bf but unfortunatly my body failed me. I dont think im proving a point im stating the obvious x

Not sure, think some BFers find it as a dig at them. But anyway, it might not get removed, think it's usually when there is a BF v FF debate going on that they get removed

 

[GossipGirly]

ohh no i would love to bf, i have added a lil bit in to prove im not digging x

 

[OmarsMum]

Your sig about FF might get removed... I know a few people who have put up things like that and they've been taken down. The BFing ones don't though because apparently the FF ones are just there to 'prove a point' whereas the BFing ones aren't..? I don't know how it works, just thought I would let you know anyway

really? why, thats totally stupid if it does as its kinda saying no they are not... im not saying anything bad about bf babies... i loved bf but unfortunatly my body failed me. I dont think im proving a point im stating the obvious x

Not sure, think some BFers find it as a dig at them. But anyway, it might not get removed, think it's usually when there is a BF v FF debate going on that they get removed

The "Formula not rat poison" blinky was removed all others were fine I guess. xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I used to feel guilty toi hun. But qe have no reason to. Your baby is happy and healthy. Thats all that counts xx