Single Mom by Choice

[Rags]

Amazing! They will be delighted when they meet the girls, I'll look forward to hearing how it goes when you eventually find some time.

 

[Oxygen7880]

Well it has been a few weeks I go in for induction tomorrow at 38 weeks. Hoping to meet my baby girls soon. I think one of their brothers is excited and the other one doesn't really care at the moment. It'll be interesting to see how the boys react to their sisters once they can actually see them and they become more real for them.

I hope everything went well and you and the girls are ok.

 

[Oxygen7880]

Anyone here have more than 1 child as a sole parent?
I'm ttc #2 from next month. I'm excited but also scared about having 2!

 

[Rags]

Hi. I tried for number 2 but always knew I was unlikely to manage as I was over 40 when I had my first. I had wanted to try quickly after having Ds as time was precious but I also didn't want to cut him off of breast feeding quickly just to get my cycle started again. As it was I was nearly 43 by the time he stopped feeding and I got my cycle back - I gave it a go but with no luck. Good luck to you, I'll look forward to hearing how it all goes for you.

 

[Oxygen7880]

Thanks Rags. I'm sorry you couldn't have a second. I have decided to start now even though Its not ideal timing wise for many reasons but I'm 37 now and I don't know long it will take.

 

[Rags]

Thanks Rags. I'm sorry you couldn't have a second. I have decided to start now even though Its not ideal timing wise for many reasons but I'm 37 now and I don't know long it will take.

I've said on more than one occasion that if you wait for an ideal time to have a baby you'll never have one. I know that there is still a chance to have children as you get older but realistically it doesn't get any easier and if it's what you really want why take the chance of missing out. I was 37 when I started trying at first using at home insemination. If I'd left it any later to find that that wasn't going to work I'd have lost my chance to do it through a clinic - I'm reminded of how lucky I was every time I look at my Ds.

 

[Boomerslady]

I'm glad I came across this thread. I'm a single mum to my son (although me and FOB have him 50/50) and I've been broody since the day I had him! I've had a few crap relationships in the last 5 years, none more than 10 months really, and I'm considering being a SMBC in a couple of years if I'm still in the same situation (I'm 30 in a few weeks!) which is why it's playing on my mind more, and my son always asks for a sibling and it's heartbreaking but I struggle with depression and think I'm a crap mum anyway and I'm not sure if cope fully alone (FOB is my only support, so without one I'd never ever get a break)

Would anyone mind if I PMed you, about donors and just for a chat about how it's worked for you? Let me know thanks x

 

[Rags]

I'm glad I came across this thread. I'm a single mum to my son (although me and FOB have him 50/50) and I've been broody since the day I had him! I've had a few crap relationships in the last 5 years, none more than 10 months really, and I'm considering being a SMBC in a couple of years if I'm still in the same situation (I'm 30 in a few weeks!) which is why it's playing on my mind more, and my son always asks for a sibling and it's heartbreaking but I struggle with depression and think I'm a crap mum anyway and I'm not sure if cope fully alone (FOB is my only support, so without one I'd never ever get a break)

Would anyone mind if I PMed you, about donors and just for a chat about how it's worked for you? Let me know thanks x

Hello and welcome. You can only make an informed choice if you find out all the information and here is quite a good place to start to gather it.
My first donor (unsuccessful) was arranged though an agency and involved at home self insemination. I chose the donor from the companies profiles and they arraged for all of his health testing. My successful insemination was using a donor through an NHS/private clinic. The donor was matched to me by the clinic based on our health compatibility. I know very little about him but my Ds will be able to get information about his name, date of birth and last known address when he turns 18 if he wants it. He will also be able to trace any siblings from the same donor should he wish.

Can I ask, if you approached him, would your child's father consider donating for you? Or would that be far to weared?

 

[Christie2011]

Anyone here have more than 1 child as a sole parent?
I'm ttc #2 from next month. I'm excited but also scared about having 2!

I am now SMBC of 4. Just delivered my twins last week. My first two are 3 (in a month) and 3.

 

[Boomerslady]

Rags, I did mention it casually a few years ago, that I'd like another and could I just use his sperm?! And he said 100% no!! I think he like me, is hoping to meet someone settle down and have more babies as part of a family. Perhaps in years time if that hasn't happened he might consider it, although I broke his heart so I'm not sure!

Is it expensive to go via a clinic and get a donor?

 

[Rags]

Rags, I did mention it casually a few years ago, that I'd like another and could I just use his sperm?! And he said 100% no!! I think he like me, is hoping to meet someone settle down and have more babies as part of a family. Perhaps in years time if that hasn't happened he might consider it, although I broke his heart so I'm not sure!

Is it expensive to go via a clinic and get a donor?

Shame, but I guess I don't blame him.
I think it can be expensive. The clinic I went through was a 'not for profit' one so although I paid it was only really the expenses of the donor - and he didn't get paid for his donations it was purely altruistic. I'm not sure how many clinics there are like that. I also know that they don't seem to run their own sperm bank now and that if you are using a donor you would probably need to go through a sperm bank. There is a newish one in London now and I know a couple who used the Danish sperm bank and were delighted by the service - and results (I've no idea how much they paid though)

 

[Oxygen7880]

I'm glad I came across this thread. I'm a single mum to my son (although me and FOB have him 50/50) and I've been broody since the day I had him! I've had a few crap relationships in the last 5 years, none more than 10 months really, and I'm considering being a SMBC in a couple of years if I'm still in the same situation (I'm 30 in a few weeks!) which is why it's playing on my mind more, and my son always asks for a sibling and it's heartbreaking but I struggle with depression and think I'm a crap mum anyway and I'm not sure if cope fully alone (FOB is my only support, so without one I'd never ever get a break)

Would anyone mind if I PMed you, about donors and just for a chat about how it's worked for you? Let me know thanks x

Pm me anytime. I too have suffered from depression and I know how horrible it is.

 

[fairytales87]

Rags, I did mention it casually a few years ago, that I'd like another and could I just use his sperm?! And he said 100% no!! I think he like me, is hoping to meet someone settle down and have more babies as part of a family. Perhaps in years time if that hasn't happened he might consider it, although I broke his heart so I'm not sure!

Is it expensive to go via a clinic and get a donor?

I know I'm not rags & sorry if you think I'm sticking my nose in
I'm also coming up for 30 & currently starting treatment via a donor at a clinic in hopes of getting my rainbow
Feel free to PM me anytime if you have and questions or wish to chat xx

 

[Oxygen7880]

So I know I have already conceived a baby via AI but I was extremely lucky that it happened first attempt, so in some ways I'm inexperienced. I was 34 when I conceived my girl and everything went as it should. I used opk strips that got darker until positive and I used a digital to make doubly sure it was time to inseminate. I did my temps every morning and the same time and my chart was perfect and showed me that I had ov'd.
So as you know I'm due to start ttc #2 starting in my next cycle. I have been casually monitoring my cycle from last month, with the use of opks. Last month I started casually on cd 14 but never got a positive or even close. I wondered if maybe I missed it. I ov'd on cd 20 with my little girl and so I prob assumed I would ov late. However I've started to get paranoid that now I'm 37 I maybe did not ov and I won't this month either. I am on cd 11 and I started the opks yest. I'm prob being silly but I can't stop worrying. I'm finding temping really hard since I bed share with my lg and although I sleep well my sleep is broken somewhat. I'm not sure the readings will be very accurate.

 

[Babycakes92]

I'm glad this thread is here.

I'm considering becoming a SMBC but I've got alot of thinking and research to do first.
Haven't really told anyone I'm considering it because I know that my family and some of my friends can be really judgemental about things like that. So I'm gonna think it over and do some research properly before saying anything to anyone.

 

[Rags]

Welcome Babycakes. You're very right to do your research and get your head in the right place before you mention it to other people - once you've mentioned it others can't help but give your their opinions and advice and although it's lovely to include people it can be difficult if they are less than positive - although I will say I didn't come across any negativity when I spoke to my family and friends just amazing support. We are here if there's anything you need to know more about and there are a few other good threads you could look at about the different methods, donors etc. Good luck.

 

[Babycakes92]

Welcome Babycakes. You're very right to do your research and get your head in the right place before you mention it to other people - once you've mentioned it others can't help but give your their opinions and advice and although it's lovely to include people it can be difficult if they are less than positive - although I will say I didn't come across any negativity when I spoke to my family and friends just amazing support. We are here if there's anything you need to know more about and there are a few other good threads you could look at about the different methods, donors etc. Good luck.

Thank you!
That's why I'm waiting before I mention it to my family and some of my friends. I told my best friend and she has been nothing but supportive. I'm just researching things more now so I can make a more informed decision.

 

[PoppyPainting]

So I know I have already conceived a baby via AI but I was extremely lucky that it happened first attempt, so in some ways I'm inexperienced. I was 34 when I conceived my girl and everything went as it should. I used opk strips that got darker until positive and I used a digital to make doubly sure it was time to inseminate. I did my temps every morning and the same time and my chart was perfect and showed me that I had ov'd.
So as you know I'm due to start ttc #2 starting in my next cycle. I have been casually monitoring my cycle from last month, with the use of opks. Last month I started casually on cd 14 but never got a positive or even close. I wondered if maybe I missed it. I ov'd on cd 20 with my little girl and so I prob assumed I would ov late. However I've started to get paranoid that now I'm 37 I maybe did not ov and I won't this month either. I am on cd 11 and I started the opks yest. I'm prob being silly but I can't stop worrying. I'm finding temping really hard since I bed share with my lg and although I sleep well my sleep is broken somewhat. I'm not sure the readings will be very accurate.

Instead of temping have you looked at trying a clear blue fertility monitor, less stressful coz you just pee on a stick when you wake up. Good luck 😊

 

[Oxygen7880]

Poppy I did actually purchase a cbfm before I conceived my little lady. The 1st month gives 'low' fertility reading and then from the following month it knows your readings better (from what I researched at the time). I conceived my daughter at the first attempt and so it wasn't much use to me! I was premature in buying it really but I'm a born worried unfortunately. They aren't cheap either. But I actually got a positive opk yest and today (both the cheapest and the digital) so I guess I need to jus relax and trust in my body.
So frustrating knowing that I'm ovulating and yet waiting until next month to ttc!!

 

[PoppyPainting]

Poppy I did actually purchase a cbfm before I conceived my little lady. The 1st month gives 'low' fertility reading and then from the following month it knows your readings better (from what I researched at the time). I conceived my daughter at the first attempt and so it wasn't much use to me! I was premature in buying it really but I'm a born worried unfortunately. They aren't cheap either. But I actually got a positive opk yest and today (both the cheapest and the digital) so I guess I need to jus relax and trust in my body.
So frustrating knowing that I'm ovulating and yet waiting until next month to ttc!!

You can get them second hand on ebay, I know coz I sold mine on on there! And yes it tells you when you are ovulating you get different symbols for low and high fertility and a separate symbol for actual ov.