Single Mom by Choice

[Ttc0340]

So glad I found this thread! I'm a SMBC and and have a wonderful donor I am going to start ttc with on the weekend via AI. It will be my first child and our first month trying. So glad there are others out there!

 

[Rags]

So glad I found this thread! I'm a SMBC and and have a wonderful donor I am going to start ttc with on the weekend via AI. It will be my first child and our first month trying. So glad there are others out there!

Very good luck to you Ttc, it's an exciting time which I remember very clearly. That's great that you have a good donor, it makes things so much more relaxed and means that you can just get on with what needs to be done. I love being a SMBC, it has worked well for me and my Ds and I still look at him every day and am amazed that he is here and that we are a family (he's 6 now). As I've said before there is a breadth of experience here on this thread and everyone is happy to share so please feel free to ask anything. Fingers crossed for you, have a good weekend.

 

[JumpingIn]

I am by choice about to leave an emotionally abusive relationship and as well as terrified I'm also optimistic. I'm not in a good position financially at all but I'm ambitious and dedicated and know where I want to go and give my son

 

[Babycakes92]

Anybody from the UK I can talk to about thinking about becoming a SMBC? X

 

[Rags]

Anybody from the UK I can talk to about thinking about becoming a SMBC? X

Hi babycakes, I'm in Scotland and happy to fill you in on anything I know. There are a couple of other helpful threads on the assisted conception are that you could look at too, lots of people from the UK on there.

 

[Babycakes92]

Anybody from the UK I can talk to about thinking about becoming a SMBC? X

Hi babycakes, I'm in Scotland and happy to fill you in on anything I know. There are a couple of other helpful threads on the assisted conception are that you could look at too, lots of people from the UK on there.

Hi Rags,
Thank you. Honestly any and all information you have about it would be fab. Where to start, who to contact, costing etc?
x

 

[Rags]

Anybody from the UK I can talk to about thinking about becoming a SMBC? X

Hi babycakes, I'm in Scotland and happy to fill you in on anything I know. There are a couple of other helpful threads on the assisted conception are that you could look at too, lots of people from the UK on there.

Hi Rags,
Thank you. Honestly any and all information you have about it would be fab. Where to start, who to contact, costing etc?
x

If you have the chance look back through this thread as there are loads of pointers - that along with some internet research.

Personally I started off with at home insemination using a donor I'd found through an agency - they arranged all of his health screening, I paid them, they compensated him. In total I paid £3500.00 for 6 donations over three months (this was the plan anyway) as it worked out I ended up with 5 donations over nearly 8 cycles - because of donor not being available at last minute or donating one day but not the next. after trying two other donors through the same company I decided to forgo the last donation and head to my GP after a friend told me of a clinic that was happy to treat single women and had their own donors. My GP was happy to refer me and although there was a waiting list of about a year for donor insemination everything else was quite straight forward. Because the clinic was a not for profit NHS/Private clinic I didn't have to pay for any tests or appointments only the donor expenses and medication - this meant I paid £250 per insemination (medicated cycles would have been £350. Although this clinic is still running as far as I am aware they have run up against the same donor issues that many have, ie a lack of donors. As far as I understand you now source your own sperm and have it delivered to the. I have heard a few people mention the London Sperm Bank which opened last year and I know of a couple who have recently used the Danish Sperm Bank - I've heard a few good things about them. I am not sure how it works with the commercial banks, with the NHS one frozen sperm could only be used to create 10 families (not 10 babies as if you were successful you could use the same donor for siblings) - I think this is a HEFA thing though not an NHS thing.
While I was trying I recorded both basal temperatures and used ovulation predictor kits, some people only use the OPK but I found that temping for a few months before I started to try gave me a good idea of how my cycle worked and when to start expecting a positive OPK (it's also made me realise that I have always been able to feel myself ovulate without realising that was what was happening!).

Hope this has all given you a bit of a starting point, if there is anything specific then post and I'm sure you will get answers.

 

[Babycakes92]

Anybody from the UK I can talk to about thinking about becoming a SMBC? X

Hi babycakes, I'm in Scotland and happy to fill you in on anything I know. There are a couple of other helpful threads on the assisted conception are that you could look at too, lots of people from the UK on there.

Hi Rags,
Thank you. Honestly any and all information you have about it would be fab. Where to start, who to contact, costing etc?
x

If you have the chance look back through this thread as there are loads of pointers - that along with some internet research.

Personally I started off with at home insemination using a donor I'd found through an agency - they arranged all of his health screening, I paid them, they compensated him. In total I paid £3500.00 for 6 donations over three months (this was the plan anyway) as it worked out I ended up with 5 donations over nearly 8 cycles - because of donor not being available at last minute or donating one day but not the next. after trying two other donors through the same company I decided to forgo the last donation and head to my GP after a friend told me of a clinic that was happy to treat single women and had their own donors. My GP was happy to refer me and although there was a waiting list of about a year for donor insemination everything else was quite straight forward. Because the clinic was a not for profit NHS/Private clinic I didn't have to pay for any tests or appointments only the donor expenses and medication - this meant I paid £250 per insemination (medicated cycles would have been £350. Although this clinic is still running as far as I am aware they have run up against the same donor issues that many have, ie a lack of donors. As far as I understand you now source your own sperm and have it delivered to the. I have heard a few people mention the London Sperm Bank which opened last year and I know of a couple who have recently used the Danish Sperm Bank - I've heard a few good things about them. I am not sure how it works with the commercial banks, with the NHS one frozen sperm could only be used to create 10 families (not 10 babies as if you were successful you could use the same donor for siblings) - I think this is a HEFA thing though not an NHS thing.
While I was trying I recorded both basal temperatures and used ovulation predictor kits, some people only use the OPK but I found that temping for a few months before I started to try gave me a good idea of how my cycle worked and when to start expecting a positive OPK (it's also made me realise that I have always been able to feel myself ovulate without realising that was what was happening!).

Hope this has all given you a bit of a starting point, if there is anything specific then post and I'm sure you will get answers.

Thank you so much!

I'm wondering whether the first step after some more research is to approach my GP about it?

 

[babycrazy1706]

I'm planning to be a smbc xx

 

[belle254]

I am a single mum by choice in that I separated from my children's dad. We were together 6 years, fell pregnant with dd1 and then 3 months after she was born fell pregnant with ds1. He couldn't cope with parenting responsibilities, was like I was a single mum anyway. 2.5 years later, I'm still single parenting by myself and their dad is an inconsistent feature. Would love more babies, but hey ho! x

 

[xJG30]

I'm not sure if I would be classed as a SMBC. When I first got pregnant with my son I was in a stable relationship or so I thought, he dumped me a few months into the pregnancy and from there I kept to myself.

Met someone when my son was 2, was great to begin with, but then I started to get anxiety issues and he left me in 2014. Since then I have chosen to be on my own.. and it's the best thing I ever did. It brought my son & I alot closer and we bonded alot better. I had a difficult birth which put me off having anymore children.. but 3 years on, We are both in a happy place and planning another holiday in May 2017.

 

[melodyy_mtb]

Hi ladies.

SMBC here. I'm mum to my beautiful 8 month old boy. Had him by IVF using a sperm donor after two years of AI at home and one ivf cycle which ended in a miscarriage.

Look forward to getting to know you all x

 

[Rags]

Hi ladies.

SMBC here. I'm mum to my beautiful 8 month old boy. Had him by IVF using a sperm donor after two years of AI at home and one ivf cycle which ended in a miscarriage.

Look forward to getting to know you all x

Hi Melodyy, it's so nice to welcome you over here after following your journey to reach this point. I can't believe your Ds is 8 months already, that's so amazing. I hope things are going smoothly for you now and you're back in a routine that works for you both?
It's quite a quiet thread here at the moment - I think everyone is busy with babies and small children (imagine that!).

DS and I are making the most of our Easter school break at the moment after missing out a bit over Christmas because of family illness and me being busy with work ever since. Work were fantastic and agreed to let me have this time off, to the point of paying someone else to come in and deal with my work load for the week - how good are they! DS turned 7 a few weeks ago. It's been such a quick 7 years and after all the time it took me to get him I can't believe it when I look at him now, minus his front teeth, and see a proper child now and not even a toddler. He still loves any excuse for a cuddle and I'm making the most of every single one just in case he ever decides he's too grown up for that kind of thing! We hope to get away for a few days in the near future but in the mean time he's really into science so we're working on a few experiments at home.

Have a wonderful Easter holiday everyone, however you choose to spend it.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

I don't come on here much any more -- my twins are definitely my last babies -- but it's great to find this thread.

My teen daughters were born within what was a stable relationship at the time. When it ended I realised I was happier on my own. I had my three boys on my own. It's busy around here, but we're a very happy family.

 

[Rags]

I don't come on here much any more -- my twins are definitely my last babies -- but it's great to find this thread.

My teen daughters were born within what was a stable relationship at the time. When it ended I realised I was happier on my own. I had my three boys on my own. It's busy around here, but we're a very happy family.

Gosh, you sound as though you've got your work cut out for you!! Busy but lots of fun I'll bet.

As you'll have noticed we're not that busy on here at the moment but always drop in to see how everyone is doing. How old are your brood? (just read your tag line, sorry, missed that before) 16, 5 and two at 1, waw, I'm impressed you find any time to do anything else. My DS is 7, and that's flown by. He's great fun and I'm so lucky and happy to have him.

KN, how's everything going with you?

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Thanks, Rags! I recognise you from the TTC as a SMBC thread.

I have a 19-year-old daughter too. She's off at college, so any time I get with her is a bonus. And you're right, things are really busy but brilliant fun. My bank account whimpers when it hears me coming but I wouldn't change anything for the world.

My five-year-old son is just starting to ask questions about where he came from. I've told him he's a science baby, and I wanted him so much that I spoke to some scientists and asked them if they could give me the daddy part to start him growing. He's very science-oriented and mathematical, so he loves this idea. We've talked from the beginning about how families are made up in different ways, and he doesn't seem too interested in why our set-up is different to other people's.

I'll bet you have a super strong bond with your son with it being just the two of you.

 

[Rags]

Thanks, Rags! I recognise you from the TTC as a SMBC thread.

I have a 19-year-old daughter too. She's off at college, so any time I get with her is a bonus. And you're right, things are really busy but brilliant fun. My bank account whimpers when it hears me coming but I wouldn't change anything for the world.

My five-year-old son is just starting to ask questions about where he came from. I've told him he's a science baby, and I wanted him so much that I spoke to some scientists and asked them if they could give me the daddy part to start him growing. He's very science-oriented and mathematical, so he loves this idea. We've talked from the beginning about how families are made up in different ways, and he doesn't seem too interested in why our set-up is different to other people's.

I'll bet you have a super strong bond with your son with it being just the two of you.

You've made me giggle. My son is a right wee science and maths dude (a geek really), that works for me, although try as I might I can't get him interested in 'star trek!'
We have a lovely time together and my brother is fab with him and the type of male role model I'd want him to have.

 

[Ele3085]

I did a search and the last thread I could find on this topic was back in 2012. Am I the only single mom by choice here?

I've struggled with endometriosis since I was 19 and knew I needed to conceive soon if I was ever going to. But, my last LTR ended two years ago and I wasn't willing to wait to fall for someone new. I have a great job and I'm completely independent so I made the decision to conceive on my own (with a known donor) and now I'm 11 weeks into a very wanted, very joyful pregnancy.

So, anyone else make this choice?

I'm a single mom by choice . Even though I just found out I am pregnant Monday and unsure how far along I am , I have wanted a baby since I was 15 and feel happier then I have in ages . I can't wait to meet my little bean and am looking forward to my first ultrasound and many other firsts

 

[babycrazy1706]

Good luck xx

 

[Rags]

Delighted for you Ele, I'll look forward to hearing how your pregnancy goes.