Soap in the Mouth....

[NellyLou]

I'm not comparing the act, you seriously need to re-read my post. I'm making the point, by using that as an example, that just because no-one here is doing it doesn't mean it is not a subject that can be part of a heated debate. Just because no-one here has done it, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. Heck the thread started because this was given out as actual parenting advice in the present day.

I'm really not sure if you understand the point of a debates section. Here, we post topics, to hear different views on a whole myriad of topics, before arguing our own point. That's how a debate works and why this whole section was created. Coming here... to the debate section... and saying it's pointless to argue (debate) it... Just seems a little odd.

Whether you think it a worthy debate topic or not, the topic was started, it is being debated, the debate is clean, therefore the topic has a point. That point... Was to be debated.

Shall we debate on the point of a debate some more?

I understand what a debate is, thanks. I just feel that this particular debate is going in circles. How many times can we all repeat the same thing? I thought your post referencing the definition of abuse was great, and of it seemed like I was picking on you when I quoted you, sorry, it was directed at he whole thread. We can absolutely have our opinions, bit repeating he same thing over and over when people say they aren't changing minds just becomes pointless in my opinion. And that is just or, my opinion. I'm not stopping anyone from continuing the debate.

 

[Raven24]

I remember my mum washing my mouth out with soap when i was about 6/7 and to be honest it is on the list of horrid memories from my childhood.
My mother is great and obviously at the time felt it was the right thing to do but i would never do it to my child and i too think it is abuse.
Obviously my mum didnt think it was but she did alot of things that i peraonally wouldnt do. Just becauseis been done in the past doesnt make it ok.

 

[Jaylynne]

So since toothpaste is a chemical substance, by that link I am forcing abuse onto my child when I open his mouth and brush his teeth when he refuses too. My SS has seriously rank breath in the morning and hates brushing his teeth.

 

[Eternal]

So since toothpaste is a chemical substance, by that link I am forcing abuse onto my child when I open his mouth and brush his teeth when he refuses too. My SS has seriously rank breath in the morning and hates brushing his teeth.

Of course not, toothpaste is required and a part of a heathy life, it's more "wrong" to give up and not brush. However, soap is not, and can provoke vomiting and upset stomach.

 

[chell5544]

So since toothpaste is a chemical substance, by that link I am forcing abuse onto my child when I open his mouth and brush his teeth when he refuses too. My SS has seriously rank breath in the morning and hates brushing his teeth.

Of course not, toothpaste is required and a part of a heathy life, it's more "wrong" to give up and not brush. However, soap is not, and can provoke vomiting and upset stomach.

So can swallowing too much toothpaste

 

[Ozzieshunni]

This is just getting silly now.

 

[Tasha]

I understand what a debate is, thanks. I just feel that this particular debate is going in circles. How many times can we all repeat the same thing? I thought your post referencing the definition of abuse was great, and of it seemed like I was picking on you when I quoted you, sorry, it was directed at he whole thread. We can absolutely have our opinions, bit repeating he same thing over and over when people say they aren't changing minds just becomes pointless in my opinion. And that is just or, my opinion. I'm not stopping anyone from continuing the debate.

I get what you are saying, but its new people coming in with their opinions too, so they are going to want to express those whether its been said one hundred times before or not x

 

[Tasha]

So since toothpaste is a chemical substance, by that link I am forcing abuse onto my child when I open his mouth and brush his teeth when he refuses too. My SS has seriously rank breath in the morning and hates brushing his teeth.

Of course not, toothpaste is required and a part of a heathy life, it's more "wrong" to give up and not brush. However, soap is not, and can provoke vomiting and upset stomach.

So can swallowing too much toothpaste

Yes it can but the benefit of brushing their teeth outweighs the risk of an upset tummy, given that not doing it can lead to tooth decay and that is linked to risks of other things. However not putting soap in their mouth isnt going to cause them tooth decay, and up the risks of other things.

 

[robinator]

This is just getting silly now.

I agree

 

[Jaylynne]

Of course it's getting silly. Obviously it's not abuse to brush a child's teeth. Just goes to show that links and comparisons don't always work with the situation.

ANYTHING taken to extremes can be abuse. Soap in the mouth for 10 minutes I would classify as abuse. Beating a child= abuse. Screaming and belittling a child and taking away their self confidence and self worth = abuse. Soap in mouth for a few seconds? I just don't see it as extreme. SS gets more soap in his mouth showering. Archaic? Sure. Would I do it personally? No. Didn't work for me and now I swear like a sailor. The ladies on here who had it done and didn't have an issue with it probably never had an extreme version of it so we see it differently. Others who have stated they had it done may have had a more extreme version be it more soap, time, or upset parent who did it. Both sides have valid viewpoints. Both sides are correct.

 

[Pixelle]

I was maybe three or four when my mum 'washed out my mouth' with soap. I remember i'd said 'shit' because I dropped something.

It wasn't a pleasant experience. I was scared as my mum was angry and the taste was awful. I was also smacked as a child, which wasn't nice either.

But, that was the 'done' thing in those days. Was it abuse (using the correct definition of the word)? Yes.

But, abuse comes in many forms. Abuse isn't just abuse. There are many extremes. A smack here and there and a mouth washed out with soap is not as abusive as being beaten daily etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that by the definition of the word, many things are classed as abuse. But its when a pattern of abuse emerges that something should be done.

I don't plan on smacking my son and I'll never wash his mouth out with soap, but that's partly because its not the done thing. I know better than my mum did. I also don't know how I could ever do that to him without my heart breaking.

Times have vastly changed. I am OK with my 'abuse' as I don't think its affected me. I don't think of it as abuse. What I think of when I hear the word abuse is not a smack every now and then. But the definition of the word says I was abused.

Perhaps we should have a word for harsher abuse because I do feel the word loses its sensitivity when used for less serious things than beatings, and many other horrible things children go through.

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[Dragonfly]

I am wondering why some are saying its what was done in their day, I am near 31 and never had that done or know of any one doing it. I dont think it was a fashionable thing to do more just some did and some didnt. My mum wouldnt have had that done in her either. And I am sure people still do it now.

And comparing tooth paste to soap. Tooth paste is meant to go in your mouth, soap is not. I thought that was obvious.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I love how many people use red herring arguments in the debate section. Toothpaste does not equal soap. Maybe I've become cynical.

 

[chell5544]

I am wondering why some are saying its what was done in their day, I am near 31 and never had that done or know of any one doing it. I dont think it was a fashionable thing to do more just some did and some didnt. My mum wouldnt have had that done in her either. And I am sure people still do it now.

And comparing tooth paste to soap. Tooth paste is meant to go in your mouth, soap is not. I thought that was obvious.

No some parents didn't do it some did, just like some parents now adays use time outs some don't. It was seen as a effective moderate discipline even up untill 1996 it was still classed as a moderate form as discipline along with spanking

What if in 30 years from now 'time outs' are seen as extreme discipline and a outdated method, does that mean every parent using 'time out' are abusing their children?

Yes toothpaste is designed for the mouth but if washing the mouth out is seen as abusive because you are forcing your child to open their mouth and put something init, then surely forcing a child to open their mouth and sticking a toothbrush in there when they don't want it done to them can be seen as abusive

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I think time outs are detrimental to a child's development, but it can be abuse if you're forcing your child into a situation for the time out that's not normal, like putting them in a dark cellar or cupboard. Basically, any form of punishment can be made abusive.

 

[Dragonfly]

So since toothpaste is a chemical substance, by that link I am forcing abuse onto my child when I open his mouth and brush his teeth when he refuses too. My SS has seriously rank breath in the morning and hates brushing his teeth.

I am wondering why some are saying its what was done in their day, I am near 31 and never had that done or know of any one doing it. I dont think it was a fashionable thing to do more just some did and some didnt. My mum wouldnt have had that done in her either. And I am sure people still do it now.

And comparing tooth paste to soap. Tooth paste is meant to go in your mouth, soap is not. I thought that was obvious.

No some parents didn't do it some did, just like some parents now adays use time outs some don't. It was seen as a effective moderate discipline even up untill 1996 it was still classed as a moderate form as discipline along with spanking

What if in 30 years from now 'time outs' are seen as extreme discipline and a outdated method, does that mean every parent using 'time out' are abusing their children?

Yes toothpaste is designed for the mouth but if washing the mouth out is seen as abusive because you are forcing your child to open their mouth and put something init, then surely forcing a child to open their mouth and sticking a toothbrush in there when they don't want it done to them can be seen as abusive

You just repeated what I said basically. I dont do time outs and not de railing thread to that one. I never even said abuse either . Tooth paste meant for mouth, soap not. Clear?

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[pinklightbulb]

Well, some might consider me literally forcing Eamon's mouth open and holding his head against the side of the bath just to brush his teeth while he screams abuse... I'm not convinced it IS any better for him than soap in his mouth the way he carries on tbh. He doesn't understand any more that he needs his teeth brushed than if I put soap in his mouth for swearing. Honestly the soap would probably be easier!