Spanking

[JASMAK]

So a tap is a hit with less force?? Is this the new word for hitting to make it sound less so? (not directed just at you, but everyone who is saying "tap")

 

[BlackBerry25]

Um...yes?

And I don't see how much more supervision is needed for a stove that is off and a 7 month old clearly cannot reach to turn it on.

It is a tap, so they see that something does happen if they touch that, and it is not a desirable something.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Somehow, a tap on a hand is made out to be child abuse and a neglected child with no supervision.

 

[PeanutBean]

But, if it's not the child's fault, then why 'tap' the hand etc. Saying, "no...hot, you get owies" is teaching. My point is, the child is the one who 'gets into trouble' when these things happen, when in most cases, it is the parents who are in the 'wrong' (sorry, lack of a better word there) and the child really just needs to be taught. Another example is when my son was 18mths old, he ran for the automatic opening doors in the grocery store while my hands were full with grocery bags. He ran out the door and straight accross the street (without looking of course, he was only 18mths). My MIL was with me at the time, and tried to run after him, and she said she just about 'tapped' (she used that word) on the bum, but she stopped herself, because she wanted him to know it was wrong. I am glad she didn't, because it reality, it was our fault, and a child that young needs to be protected more than taught. If it can't be explained and understood, then they are def too young to understand and a tap or hit or smack...whatever you want to call it, is purely out of excitement, anger, frustration, fear etc...on the parents part...is it not???

I don't think I would tap or anything in that situation, I would entirely blame myself. Out in public is something different to in the home where they live and need to be aware of potential dangers and have the confidence to be able to play safely, sometimes by themselves whilst parents pop into other rooms or whatever to do jobs. I don't think a tap is out of excitement or anger at all, not in my case anyway. Young children can certainly understand danger and it's important they do so.

I was chatting with my mum about this thread earlier. She mentioned my nephew who is nearly three now but was under two at the time of the story she related. She said there was a time she was looking after him and she burnt her arm on the oven. My sister told her my nephew was horribly upset by it and kept talking about it for days and wouldn't ever go near the cooker because he was so upset. So they can definitely understand danger even if it's something that doesn't happen to them. Of course every child is different but it's certainly possible.

I can only speak for myself but a tap isn't about fault or getting into trouble. It's not punishment. It's what I said in my first post, to startle into inaction. To get attention in order to express the danger vocally be that more of an explanation or the "danger" warning (depending on age and what was happening).

 

[BlackBerry25]

Exactly what she said, haha.

to strike lightly but audibly, as to attract attention.

 

[JASMAK]

Somehow, a tap on a hand is made out to be child abuse and a neglected child with no supervision.

Well, I think to many, it is (child abuse). I don't think it's neglect.

 

[PeanutBean]

Gosh I must've taken ages to post! I don't particularly childproof either. We have stair gates and plug covers. I think that is essentially it. We don't really have any trouble with Byron getting into anything either. For a short time he was into trying to press the buttons on the oven but knows that's not allowed so has stopped. I want Byron to have a free roam, it's home after all.

 

[JASMAK]

But maybe if you had childproofed (done your part to make sure the children are safe) then you wouldn't feel you have to hit your child. I childproofed my home for my two eldest, and they still learned of dangers.

 

[PeanutBean]

Lol that a tap is child abuse! I suppose it's child abuse to pull a child roughly away from something quickly, probably would hurt more than a tap. Or child abuse if they fall off something, certainly hurts more than a tap!

 

[BlackBerry25]

Ok, I have never hit my child and I am pretty sure PB hasn't either.

I said one instance where I had to tap my childs hand and a verbal explanation, I FELT, was not sufficient.

Holy mother of christ.

 

[JASMAK]

Well, according to Canadian law, hitting a child under the age of 2 is against the law.

 

[JASMAK]

But you both agreed that tapping is hitting with less force. But, still a hit.

 

[Boothh]

jesse will never be spanked,hit whatever by me or anyone as a form of discapline, i must admit he has had a tapped hand a couple of times and i feel incredibly guilty, i would never tap him hard enough to hurt him at all, the only times he has had a tapped hand was for deliberatly biting me in a temper, and for sticking his fingers in the plug socket,
things he needs to know are wrong and he will be in trouble for doing, telling off used to be enough but now he just laughs and ignores me if i tell him off so he needs something to let him know he is out of line, never in a million years would i hit him in temper or hurt him on purpose, iv probably clapped his hands together harder when playing than i have tapped him x

 

[BlackBerry25]

Jasmak, you are taking this way too far.

How dare you accuse me of child abuse for one time lightly tapping my kids hand?

Were you present?

How can someone even take that so far out of context?

I was raised in a home, where my mom has taken in foster children and has adopted an abused little girl. I have 5 foster sisters currently who I watch on regular basis for mom to have respite. I KNOW real child abuse. I cannot believe you can even feel comfortable saying that.

 

[PeanutBean]

But you both agreed that tapping is hitting with less force. But, still a hit.

By that rationale you could say patting to comfort is hitting with less force. In fact back/bottom patting to settle him probably WAS more force than a tap on his hand!

I've probably inadvertently clocked Byron more when he's clambering around or whatever than I've ever tapped him.

This thread is suddenly verging on the ludicrous.

 

[JASMAK]

Wow, it seems many of you who have 'tapped' your child do not baby proof. Is there a reason why babyproofing is not being done?? I am just genuinely curious.

 

[Boothh]

I can only speak for myself but a tap isn't about fault or getting into trouble. It's not punishment. It's what I said in my first post, to startle into inaction. To get attention in order to express the danger vocally be that more of an explanation or the "danger" warning

yes you explained it alot better than me thanks lol

 

[Boothh]

Wow, it seems many of you who have 'tapped' your child do not baby proof. Is there a reason why babyproofing is not being done?? I am just genuinely curious.

this incident happened at another persons house and i dont cary plug guards around lol.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Actually, you will be on my ignore list for making me physically ill, so no I will not explain, someone else can.

 

[JASMAK]

Jasmak, you are taking this way too far.

How dare you accuse me of child abuse for one time lightly tapping my kids hand?

Were you present?

How can someone even take that so far out of context?

I was raised in a home, where my mom has taken in foster children and has adopted an abused little girl. I have 5 foster sisters currently who I watch on regular basis for mom to have respite. I KNOW real child abuse. I cannot believe you can even feel comfortable saying that.

I said that some may think it is. I am not personally accusing you of any thing. I don't understand it. You are right, I have not seen it. I do have an image in my head...that is disturbing at the age you are describing. I think hitting with any force is wrong. JMO. I am not accusing you of child abuse. I am sorry you read it that way. I did state the law, which is hitting is illegal before the age of two years.